heterophobe

Hey you with the pretty face, welcome to the human race!

[b-0-ngripper]

[husbandhaverr]

Why would you snap me at 2 am five weeks ago and never respond when we literally had not talked since November 2025??? You are so weirddddd

[vanillish-deactivated20211102]

[riannafinch]

somebody put this in a time capsule because it is so important that future generations see this

[husbandhaverr]

You know sometimes I wonder if Trump can even tell the difference between his own kids or if he has to have one of his aides whisper their names in his ear like that one scene in the devil wears Prada

[husbandhaverr]

They should invent customers who have interacted with humans before

[husbandhaverr]

How it feels being a zoomer without an Amazon account:

[husbandhaverr]

Smokers on their way to stink everything up and ruin the vibe:

[husbandhaverr]

Me after packing 20 shirts for a five-day vacation: hmm, what if I underpacked? I should bring more just to be safe 🤔

[husbandhaverr]

Peeps were highkey the most disgusting treats you could get as a kid but did I eat them? Yes

[husbandhaverr]

Whenever I see something in a peach/light orange color I’m like wow… husbandhaverr orange

[husbandhaverr]

And the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape, I looked over it and I ached… btw…

[thanksiloveyou]

2014 average url: tumblring-in-the-tardis

2026 average url: weemp

[mariamlovesyou]

?

[pinene]

Masturbate the dog

[husbandhaverr]

Always forget how tall Samoans are and then I meet one and it’s like 😮

[husbandhaverr]

Local man discovers that trimming his beard makes him look less like a misshapen blob, will unfortunately learn nothing from this

[markovchaingang]

fired from my job at the microbiology lab and having to carry all my things out in a little cardboard box the size of a thimble

[neopetdestroyer]

High protein is going too far