It didn’t comfort her at first to be touched. She winced instead, finding it painful that her suffering was more visible and placed over Eli’s. If she was the reason for others’ misfortune, she wanted her feelings to be the least of the worry. If only she could piece back together a calm and guiltless expression.
Speaking didn’t come easily at first; nothing did aside from a slow shuffling in the direction she was led. She felt like a child again… but even then, she relied on herself to fix things. Whenever being with her had harmed Keisuke, it had been up to her to change it. Begging was generally a part of the process, but it was still her making that choice. Would anything change if she asked the cameras for mercy?
“When I first arrived in the city, I suspected the people here were still in control. After a while, I decided the Scientists were someone else. But I’m back here anyway… I don’t know where the line is, or if it even matters.” They were here, whether the Scientists had made that choice, or the scientists she’d grown up around.
“There should be people here. Even in the virtual world, there should be a voice.” Somehow the facility felt more oppressive with no one around. A feeling of being watched wouldn’t go away even if the camera feeds weren’t being looked at. “There…”
Real world or fake world, anyone with the right power could cut off their consciousness at will. What if it blinked out and they were separated in this desolate place? Was this a new game?
“…Stop. I feel sick.” Uneasiness wrapped around her like a rising pool of water. She stepped away from Eli and back against a white wall, sliding down to hold her knees against her chest. They couldn’t circle around aimlessly, or her panic might explode in another emotional display. Stopping and figuring out what she could do about this, or at least focusing on her breathing, was better.
“Let me think,” she said, even if her voice was quiet with her forehead pressed to her knees.
[ ★ ]—— Biting the inside of her cheek, Eli just watches Nemu crumple to the floor, curling herself in a ball and asking a moment to think. Anger flares within the idol, none of that directed at the other girl but instead at whoever could be so cruel to reduce a person in such a state. It’s so pitiful it drives her nails into her palms as she tightens her shaking fists, trying to hide her emotions behind a mask of concern.
Is this the sole extent of what she can do for Nemu? Just aimlessly wander around and hope for something that might never be there? How... useless. She sighs heavily through her nose and then decides that marching around the room is fruitless and annoying, so she joins Nemu by the wall to rest her legs, hands nervously tampering with her skirt in idle nervousness.
“You said there should be a voice,” she starts quietly, like she’s talking with a scared little animal. Well, Nemu doesn’t look much different than one right now. “I guess it won’t work if we try to speak to it, right? Like, yelling at the air, or something...”
She falls silent sighs, rubbing her own forehead as her temples start pulsing. Being angry shouldn’t hurt her like this, but her head is starting to spin—like it’s chiding her for the emotions blooming out of her control. That makes her feel even more useless. It’s an ugly cycle.
