Free Will Enjoyer

He/him - I draw stuff - unseriously

[hypertrophic-kraken]

Call me Davey. 2002-born from Singapore. He/him pronouns preferred, they/them accepted. Probably gonna share rants here and try not to dox myself. I tag my original content with #hypertrophickrakens locker.

Art-style inspired by Disco Elysium and for some of my simpler pieces, Slay the Spire Card art. My earlier works were mostly in Microsoft Paint, but these days I use Paint.net. Things are just easier with layers.

Currently not locked into any fandom, but i spend way too much time on youraislopbores.me.

[thistlebard]

*pokes at the PHM score with a very scientific stick*

[hypertrophic-kraken]

I'm 10 minutes deep on this as i write this.

We will watch your career with great interest, statement.

[luke-naberrie]

nigel farage resigning to try and delay the investigation into him and immediately restanding for election in the same constituency, only for every single major party to say 'yeah nah have fun pal, see you back at work for the investigation' and refusing to entertain him is hilarious enough on its own.

the fact that the only person running against him is fucking count binface, who is promising to build one (1) affordable house, is hysterical. and he has a not zero chance of winning.

[deez-no-relation]

Can someone please explain Count Binface to me like I’m five years old

[cat-appreciator]

Count Binface is a long-running joke candidate whose policy platform includes things like a cap on the price of croissants and relocating the hand dryer in one specific pub bathroom. The whole point is to make politicians look ridiculous by having them on stage next to a guy with a bin on his head, which thanks to the way British politics is organised is fairly easy to do. Imagine for example if American Presidential debates featured D, R, and Gritty.

Nigel Farage is a long-running far-right candidate who’s come to wield a surprising amount of influence thanks to the long-running incompetence of both major British right-wing parties, Labour and the Conservatives (Tories). People will tell you that Labour is centre-left but that hasn’t been true since at least 1994 and *definitely* isn’t true since 2024. Farage is also a scumbag of the first order, the sort of man who you might want to send donations under the table if you were for example Russia, or a convicted fraudster. He recently got caught holding £5 million in dirty money, triggering an investigation into him.

To dodge this investigation, Farage decided to resign from parliament, because apparently you can’t investigate someone for political corruption if they’re not a politician right this moment, and run for MP in the exact same electorate he just resigned from, in a transparent attempt to avoid scrutiny. This is equivalent to hiding from the cops, getting a haircut, going back onto the streets and still calling yourself the same name.

The other political parties said “lol have fun with that”, declining to run candidates against him so that Farage would win by default, which would result in his reentry into politics and the resumption of the investigation, after which he would be booted back out of politics and Clacton would have a real election with actual candidates.

Enter, stage left: Count Binface, who is here to poke fun at the whole political circus and has in this instance found in Farage a clown eminently worthy of being poked. So Farage gets to spend the next six weeks debating politics with a man named Count Binface, and becoming a joke by association. Given a month ago I’d have said Farage was absolutely going to win the next national elections in the UK, dragging the country even further into far-right immiseration and cruelty like a weedy upper-class Donald Trump, this is absolutely delicious.

[animentality]

[arrowandaxe]

[hypertrophic-kraken]

I need someones decommissioned keyboard or something so i have something that i can fling to the ground in a rage and hear the satisfying clack-clack

[asdfghnbvfdwertyt65rewerfg-deac]

i just think itd be funny if kittypets were a little more familiar to twoleg things such as: cars and bad words

[hypertrophic-kraken]

The original!?

[best-ship-tourney]

Best Ship - Round 3 Match 4

Revenge (Our Flag Mean Death) vs Amerigo Vespucci (Real Life)

Revenge

Amerigo Vespucci

Voting ended onJul 4

Amerigo Vespucci propaganda:

support ship yuri!!!

Revenge propaganda:

The Revenge won an Art Directors Guild award! And it has real secret passages built into it! You can see some of the design plans here! #Our Flag Means Death #OFMD #Ra Vincent #ADG #Set Design #Fire David Zaslav

Samba Schutte's behind-the-scenes episode focusing on The Revenge:

Secret passage at :55

via @jilliansauers

[rpg-emo]

sent a picture of my cat to my partner then decided wait she needs a smoko and cropped a cigarette onto it and every time he complains about giving the cat a cigarette I edit another one onto the picture

[hypertrophic-kraken]

"We must have more!"

"FIVE. HUNDRED. CIGARETTES."

if photoshopping on cigarettes is pissing off your partner, have you tried drawing them on using microsoft paint?

[hypertrophic-kraken]

So i work in retail and our store has self-checkouts, and of course someone has to supervise them.

Occasionally, I'll get a customer who does the head-nod and says thank you

Why? I get that theyre trying to be nice and polite but with all due respect, I didn't do shit. I just stared at them the whole time

[hypertrophic-kraken]

heavily pissed off at "boots theory abuse" as i'll call it. scam goes as follows: hello, i am company. here is product. yes, is expensive. but! is built to last. but again! is so friggen expensive that cost per year or cost per wear or whatever way of calculating depreciation of your choosing simply favors some friggen cheaper but presumably less durable option.

ive seen people in the edc community or others speaking of metal pens for some 3 digit price tag. Very cool. but my fuckass plastic Pilot G2 has lasted me through at least 5 years of school where i was mainly doing paper assignments and costed me like. 98% less. i could buy 10 of them and it would not cost even half of the fancy option. and i would not have to worry about the equivalent of a days wages disappearing the instant i lend it to someone.

postscriptum/appendix:

I am familiar with the original "boots theory" which has its own wikipedia page. If you cite it to me I WILL block you.

boots theory doesnt even apply to every situation. it applies best, in my opinion, when variety doesnt matter too much, you don't get too excited about the item anyway, you actually use the item until heavily depreciated, and you dont get "divided by zero" errors brought on my free/extremely cheap items.

[lensdeer]

I made a little web app to generate xkcd 2501 edits right from your browser

[no-one-offical]

‎

[hypertrophic-kraken]

of course i had to do a ulysses ogre version

[hypertrophic-kraken]

*messes up basic task*

*remembers that part of the kalevala where kullervo destroys a boat by rowing it way too hard*

"oh yeah they make legends about people like me"

[thepaperbagdemon]

Rocky find super awesome music

[hypertrophic-kraken]

so I'm singaporean, and in singlish we have a word, lah. dictionaries will tell you that it will be used to indicate emphasis, a sort of discourse particle at the end of statements(and to an extent it is used as such). BUT there arent really any hard rules and depending on who you talk to they might just put "lah" at the end of basically every statement.

And rocky, when he speaks, says "statement" at the end of every statement.

so yeah basically singaporeans have been speaking like rocky, statement. rocky speak space singlish, lah.

EDIT: so i decided to look it up on wiktionary and their definitions are far more comprehensive. But if anything it proves my point that lah is the singlish equivalent of saying statement at the end of a statement, statement. (LONG) screenshot of it under the cut

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[itseasytoremember]

So this one time I was in a hospital recovering from an emergency surgery on my leg, and had to be there long enough that they had to change my bedding, so, doped up on three kinds of pain meds and antibiotics my dad wheels me into the hallway while the nurses work.

"dad" I say, my eyes barely open "it's Colonel Sanders" while pointing down the hallway. He looks, and at the end of the hallway, there's a portrait of an old man, the donor who paid for the wing of the hospital I'm recovering in.

My dad explains as much to me, and goes "I mean the guy *kinda* looks like him, but why would Colonel Sanders pay for a hospital wing Mississauga Ontario? I think those drugs might me messing with you"

Then the nurse comes out of the room. I go "hey, who is that picture of?"

She looks at the portrait. She looks at me. She looks at my dad. She looks at the painting. She looks at me again.

"you don't recognize the Colonel??"

[hypertrophic-kraken]

So not too long ago my brother told me of a question that apparently stumped a few people from his friend's class in college. And I mean, i was able to solve it from what i remember of my A level physics and math.

But I couldn't recall *everything*, mainly on account of me currently studying accounting and not having had to recall any of it in 4 years.

That shit had me feeling like Ulysses Ogre. EVERYONE CALL OGRE STUPID AND IT TRUE! OGRE JUST TRIED TO RECALL A LEVEL KINEMATICS, BUT OGRE CAN ONLY REMEMBER BASIC CONCEPTS LIKE "DIFFERENTIATING AND INTEGRATING VELOCITY-TIME GRAPH WITH REGARD TO TIME" AND CAN'T COMPREHEND DEEPER IDEAS LIKE "WORK DONE AND PRESERVATION OF KINETIC ENERGY". OGRE SO DUMB, IT MAKE OGRE SAD! AT THIS RATE OGRE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THERMODYNAMICS!