13:21
“i just wish you weren’t so needy like that,” jisung said in the softest voice he could register. and minho had looked at him in terror. the boy in front of him was a reminder of the damage he did every single day to everyone who had ever tried to love him.
“i’m so sorry, jisung,” minho said. the rain was harder now, as if to mock their current situation. jisung held on tight to the umbrella he held above the both of them. “but i don’t know what else to do.”
“then choose me,” jisung said, hands trembling. “why can’t i be an option for you?” a tear fell. “what can’t i… ever be an option?”
minho rubbed the back of his neck. none of this was supposed to escalate into something too serious, but here he was tangled in the web of a lonely boy who used to be brighter and sunnier before minho had entered his life. “i can’t choose you,” he said. “and you know that.”
“what, because i couldn’t give you what you wanted?” jisung asked, looking up at him. minho held no expression on his face as he watched the younger boy break down right in front of him. “i-i could adjust, minho. anything you say, i’ll do it.”
“no, no,” minho whispered, holding on to both of jisung’s hands on the umbrella. “it isn’t about that. this… this wasn’t supposed to happen.”
and it was as if jisung’s eyes had turned into waterfalls as the tears came rolling down after another. why does it hurt so much? why does it have to be minho?
“he came back, jisung,” minho then said, pressing jisung’s forehead against his own. “and this time, i know he’ll stay. and maybe then, i won’t be so needy anymore.”
the last thing jisung remembered was minho’s finger wiping away the tears in his eyes before stepping back, letting the rain fall on him. jisung tried to move forward to shade minho but the latter had turned his back, walking away as the rain drenched his clothes—walking away as jisung stood there, alone.
jisung had never understood that part of minho, and maybe he never will. despite all the love and affection the older boy could show and give him, the scene in front of him reminded jisung that he never ever really understood the person minho was.
and maybe he’ll never get the chance to.