We Are Not Who You Think We Are

We are not who you think we are. We are not just our labels. We are people. We are not our conditions, we are not our afflictions. We are more than that.

[i-am-not-my-condition]

There are angels in the world

So today, like a lot of days, I went for a walk around my neighbourhood and stopped to sit down for a bit by the road. I was just sat watching the cars go by. Then a car came past and stopped on the corner of the road I was sat by. A black lady came out of the car and came over to me. She asked if I was okay. I told her I was just sat down for a bit, resting and watching the cars go by. She helped me up and pulled me in for a hug. She said to me “I know there’s more to it than that.” And I just broke into her arms. She told me she was looking for her daughter and that she had just lost her brother too. She said “there’s a lot of hurt going on right now, but it’ll pass. You’re beautiful and people love you. I never want to see you sat there again.” She asked me if I wanted a lift home but I walked instead. It wasn’t very far. I can’t describe what I felt. I’m a white girl on the side of the road and she pulled over to make sure I was okay. And I’m so glad she did.

[pitchblacknightsky]

So I recently realised that I am a panromantic demisexual. Honestly, it's been pretty difficult to come to this conclusion, and I still question if this is right, or if I'm just trying to explain my "weirdness" away, but it seems to fit the best. My friends have been an amazing help with this, but with them both being bisexual angels, they can't fully relate. So, if any other people see this that can, feel free to chat! I'd love to speak to people that can realte, and if I could possibly help any of you, it would be an honour! Thanks for reading my rambling! Remember, you are all valid, regardless of your sexuality or gender orientation. ☺☺

[i-am-not-my-condition]

My wonderful friend. We love you no matter what and we will support you always.

Friends, please take care of her. Hope you can help her out with questions 💜💜

[i-am-not-my-condition]

With another Halloween over, I can say I’ve had fun scaring the pants off all the kids in the area. Halloween is always big at our house, so this has been another hit! Here’s to next year, where we will be bigger, better and scarier than ever!

[i-am-not-my-condition]

So... I’ve just finished watching Series 2 of 13 reasons why.

The one thing I hate, as a survivor myself, is when everyone was telling Tyler how sorry they were to hear his story.

Me personally, I don’t want to hear that. As a survivor, I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces again and again after telling someone my story. I don’t want to hear from anyone that they feel sorry for me. I am broken but I am not staying broken! I am alive and a better person. I’m picking myself up. I’m piecing myself back together and praying that each piece is going to stay in place. And then my head gets pulled back to that moment and I fall to pieces once more. I grieve for myself everyday, I feel sorry for myself enough but I’ve had enough of that. I’m trying to rebuild myself and feel comfortable in my own self.

This is all my own thoughts and opinions. This is my own feelings. I’ve not aimed this at anyone or anything. This is all me. So, don’t hate. This is all me.

[noobtheloser]

:)  More Behind the GIFs. 

[randomslasher]

This…I actually…really needed this. Like.For real legit thank you.

[darkbookworm13-deactivated20240]

me too

[i-am-not-my-condition]

This has been a blessing today. Thank you for posting this

[thesadghostclub]

A good cry can calm us down, help us process our feelings, and sometimes be gosh darn cathartic. Don’t hold it in, and don’t feel bad about needing to let your feelings out <3

love from the sad ghost club

[writing-prompt-s]

“Trust me, you don’t make it easy… but I’d do it all over again.” said your guardian angel. 

[i-am-not-my-condition]

I stand again on the rooftop of my apartment building. It’s easy enough to get up here. I sit on the ledge and let my feet dangle off the edge. A little voice in the back of my head keeps pushing me.

“Do it.” It says.

It’s all it ever says. Whenever I look down, it always pops up. It always says the same thing. It tries to bring me down and make me take the final step before she shows up.

“Why are you up here again?” She calls out.

She approaches slowly, cautiously, like she knows one wrong move could send me over the edge. I just sit there, looking down. She sits next to me. We sit and talk for a while, about aliens and conspiracies and all other random things. At some point, I started crying. I didn’t even realise until her hand touched my face.

“Why... why do you do this? Why do you stop me?” I ask her.

Her smile faded. “Because you’re better than this. You’re better than them, you’re better than all the thoughts in your head.” She answered. “I mean, you get upset over really small things but I know to you, they’re huge.” She chuckles. I sighed. “I know.” I say.

“Why do you keep saving me? I mean, I’m a pain in the ass. I winge and moan and rant about everything. I’ve jumped in front of cars, I’ve tried to overdose on sleeping pills, I tried drowning myself in the bath. Why?” I ask her. She gives a small smile.

“Trust me, you don’t make it easy... but I’d do it all over again. I’d save you over and over to stop you making the same mistake I did.” She said to me.

After that, I left the rooftop and went back to my apartment, a new outlook on life and a newfound love for it.

[i-am-not-my-condition]

Soo... I’ve been thinking again

I’ve been re-watching Steven universe and I love the episode where Steven and Connie fuse to become stevonnie. One thing that sticks by me is what garnet says to stevonnie. “You are not Steven and you are not Connie. You are an experience.”

It fits perfectly for an explanation of non-binary to people.

“You are not Steven” - Male

“You are not Connie” - Female

“You are an experience.”

I think it’s an amazing representation of how someone identifies as non-binary. You are not one or the other, but someone entirely new. And remember:

“Make sure you’re a good experience.”

Now go have fun!

[thebucca2-deactivated20221101]

WE NEED TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT ARTICLE 13

Here’s a quick rundown.

Article 13 is still in its final stages of voting. The problem is not that people don’t want to protect copyright, it’s that the LANGUAGE of the LAW is TOO VAGUE and OPEN TO ABUSE. IT COULD PASS THIS YEAR.

This law WILL impact EVERYBODY. Media platforms like YouTube will not bother to have different policies for the EU and for everybody else, they’ll just apply strict EU laws to EVERYONE.

MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WILL LOSE THEIR JOBS. You can yammer on all day about how people shouldn’t be building a career on an industry like YouTube or Instagram anyway, but the world changes, and there is actually not much different between YouTube content creators and traditional media like movies and TV. Youtubers, Instagram models, hell, even kids who use apps like TikTok are either directly or indirectly CREATING JOBS, and you CANNOT deny that. ALL OF THESE JOBS WILL BE PUT IN JEOPARDY IF ARTICLE 13 IS PUT INTO PLAY. THE ONLY CONTENT CREATORS THAT WILL BE ABLE TO THRIVE POST ARTICLE 13 IS BIG MEDIA COMPANIES.

THIS IS NOT FEARMONGERING. Is it scary, even anxiety-inducing that Article 13 could take away the only safe space that some people have—the Internet? YES. But we CANNOT close our eyes and scroll past all the article 13 posts because they make us anxious, or because they make us sad. YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Reblog/make posts. Spread awareness. Tell your friends. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF YOU LIVE IN THE EU, TALK TO YOUR REPS. IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO SAVE OUR INTERNET.

We’re currently going through a scare on Tumblr where your blog could get taken down at any time for any unclear reason, because they’re cracking down on child porn. That is good, but many people with perfectly appropriate blogs are having them taken down, too. The thing is, right now, you can still get your blog back without hassle if it is taken down by mistake. Imagine if your blog was taken down simply for making or reblogging a meme, gif of your favorite TV show, or simply producing art that isn’t 100% original, and Tumblr COULD NOT RESTORE IT BECAUSE THEY WOULD BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR COPYRIGHT VIOLATIONS BY ARTICLE 13. That could be our reality. Do NOT turn a blind eye to this.

tl;dr Article 13 will 100% change the internet as we know it for the worse, and you aren’t safe even outside of the EU. SPREAD THE WORD. EU RESIDENTS CONTACT YOUR REPRESENTATIVES.

I know you guys love to shit on MatPat here, but he made a wonderful and interesting video going into more detail.

https://youtu.be/GbXHrj8k7dg

Spread it. Spread this post. Make your own and spread it. Do SOMETHING. Silence and inaction will only help kill the internet we all love so much.

[gilver-tblr-deactivated20200808]

Will not stop reblogging the shit out of this

[i-am-not-my-condition]

Please people, I don’t want to lose my internet. I don’t want tot lose my friends!!

[littlestpersimmon]

with me

[i-am-not-my-condition]

This is something that I really connect with.

I’ve recently had a new doctor come into my life and explain everything to me. On top of all the usual anxiety, depression and ptsd, I have intrusive thoughts. Now intrusive thoughts can be as small as ‘let’s go skip rocks into a lake or stare at this bird and not pay attention’ to ‘go jump off your roof and land on your knees or take a knife to your skin and carve chunks out’. They can be pretty nasty. Normally they are little things like, let’s pet this cat for 20 mins and miss the bus to college. On bad days they can be really hurtful.

But I’ve learnt to tune them out. I’m coexisting with all of it. Some things will never leave, but you learn to work around them.

[i-am-not-my-condition]

Deep thoughts

As I lay here in a foreign bed, staring at a ceiling reminiscent of my own, trying to drift to sleep; my mind begins to wander and fill with thoughts of you.

How you hold me, how your warmth would shield me from this bitter cold seeping through the concrete walls, how your lips would reassure me that I am safe and I am loved, how your touch sends a thousand volts across my skin and out with a single breath.

I lay here, under sterile-white bedding, on a mattress that reminds me more of yours than mine, in a room with a spare bed under the window on the other side, wondering. My mind takes me down dark paths that are untouched by any joy.

Memories of smiles and loving times well forgotten as these thoughts fill and cloud my mind. Thoughts of you with someone else on your arm while I am far away, unable to cry out to you to stop and think of what you were doing. Thoughts of you smiling the same smile you only show to me when we are alone and are intertwined under your cool blue covers, but to someone who is clearly more worthy than me. Thoughts of you saying ‘I love you’ to someone else and meaning it more than all the times that you said it to me. These thoughts cloud my mind, as my eyes fill with tears that threaten to spill over my eyelids and down across my tired cheeks. I feel a pit in my stomach as it twists with unease and nausea of being away from you.

I text you once more, hoping to hear a reply. Anxiety bites my nerves and makes my body begin to quake. I fight back my tears and my racing heart. I sit up, hoping that a change in position would help shake the thoughts. They pop up more and more like dark storm clouds or weeds in a green garden. They begin to scream and circle around my head, forcing me to cover my ears and squeeze my eyes shut as they spin around me, when all of a sudden... they are hushed by the small chimes of a message notification. I open my eyes gingerly to see your name on the screen and read your message.

‘Hope you had a wonderful day today. Sorry I haven’t been replying, work asked me to pull an extra shift and I left without my phone. I miss you and I love you baby, so very much.’

I sigh a breath of relief, feeling my anxiety retreat into the back of my mind as memories of you shine through once more.

Me and you going for walks, sharing kisses and cuddling beneath your covers in the middle of the night, you calling me perfect when I think I’m anything but and repeating it to me until I believe it.

A small smile creeps across my lips as a lay back down and stare up again at the ceiling, thoughts of you and all that you mean to me filling my heart.

[destiny-aesthetics]

Free and Confidential Counseling

In the United States

Chat anonymously with an Active Listener: 7 Cups of Tea

Live Chats: crisischat.org (2pm-2am ET) or imalive.org

National Eating Disorders Association or 1–800–931–2237

S.A.F.E. Alternatives for Stopping Self Abuse or 1–800-DONT-CUT (366–8288)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or 1–800–273-TALK (8255) or en Espanol

The Trevor Project (LGBT crisis intervention) or 1-866-488-7386

Rape Abuse & Incest National Network or 800-656-HOPE (4673)

Australia

Lifeline Australia or 13 11 14

beyondblue or 1300 22 4939

Suicide Call Back Service or 1300 659 467

Brazil

CVV or 141

Chile

Teléfono de la Esperanza or (00 56 42) 22 12 00

France

S.O.S Amitié

Germany

Telefonseelsorge or 0800 111 0 111 (or 222)

Greece

KLIMAKA Center for Suicide Prevention or 1018

Japan

TELL Tokyo Lifeline in English/Japanese or 03-5774-0992 (English)

Spain

Teléfono de la Esperanza or 902500002

UK

The Samaritans or 08457 90 90 90

Other countries

7 Cups of Tea - find your country in the drop-down menu

Befrienders Worldwide - find your country in the drop-down menu on the top right

International Association for Suicide Prevention - find your nearest crisis center

Unsuicide - online suicide help directory

Learn More and Get Involved

To Write Love on Her Arms

Half of Us

Love is Louder

Self Injury Foundation

US Helplines:

Depression Hotline: [phone]

Suicide Hotline: [phone]

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: [phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected]

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 [email protected]

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline: [phone]

India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:

Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

Australia: 13-11-14

Austria: 01-713-3374

Barbados: 429-9999

Belgium: 106

Botswana: 391-1270

Brazil: 21-233-9191

China: 852-2382-0000

(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)

Costa Rica: 606-253-5439

Croatia: 01-4833-888

Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67

Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908

Denmark: 70-201-201

Egypt: 762-1602

Estonia: 6-558-088

Finland: 040-5032199

France: 01-45-39-4000

Germany: 0800-181-0721

Greece: 1018

Guatemala: 502-234-1239

Holland: 0900-0767

Honduras: 504-237-3623

Hungary: 06-80-820-111

Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90

Israel: 09-8892333

Italy: 06-705-4444

Japan: 3-5286-9090

Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292

Malaysia: 03-756-8144

(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

Mexico: 525-510-2550

Netherlands: 0900-0767

New Zealand: 4-473-9739

New Guinea: 675-326-0011

Nicaragua: 505-268-6171

Norway: 47-815-33-300

Philippines: 02-896-9191

Poland: 52-70-000

Portugal: 239-72-10-10

Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

Spain: 91-459-00-50

South Africa: 0861-322-322

South Korea: 2-715-8600

Sweden: 031-711-2400

Switzerland: 143

Taiwan: 0800-788-995

Thailand: 02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

Ukraine: 0487-327715

Links

BACA 

Crisis Text Line   Text HOME to 741741 in the US

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Suicide Prevention 

Help Line Masterlist

If there’s anything I missed, or something you think I should add. Tell Me. My inbox/message is open. 

[i-am-not-my-condition]

Bi Life

Hi, I’m bi.

And a lot of people stop me when I say this

“You’re bi? Really?”

I know it’s hard to accept this.

Hi, I’m bi

And I am other things too

But I still here people say

That I’m just going through a phase

Hi, I’m bi

And I don’t date a lot

Because after I come out

People say I’m greedy and promiscuous

Hi, I’m bi

And I know who I am

Yet I still get flack

From my own community

Hi, I’m bi

And I am not a phase

I don’t sleep around

And I am loyal to those I love

Hi, I’m bi

And I have struggled with who I am

I am just as important as the rest

I have a voice and I will use it

Hi, I’m bi

And I am so much more

Remember my friends

What the ‘B’ in LGBT stands for

[i-am-not-my-condition]

The chameleon and the mirror

In middle school, I was not popular. I wasn’t unpopular either, I didn’t really like to be around people.

In middle school, you had all the cliques:

the popular kids whose mums and dads work hard to give them whatever they want and they will still complain that it’s not posh enough

the band kids who would gather in a music room and practise or sing or listen to heavy metal songs

the IT kids who were great at computers and gaming and could help you hack your way into anything

the science geeks who would take apart your phone and put it back together again whilst adding a pinch of salt to the battery ‘to aid it while charging’

the art kids who can draw anything and found beauty everywhere

the sporty kids who spent all day in the sun you were surprised they didn’t have permanent tans or sweat stains on their uniforms

the theatre kids who could portray anyone and any scene for you (they had all the gossip and all the drama)

the cooking kids who were trying to not set off the fire alarm and are surprised when it’s not them but Miss Lang who stuck a bagel in the toaster and it got so burnt that a whisper of a breeze would have turned it to ash

the English kids who had their heads buried in a mountain of books in the library

the mathletes who could crunch numbers faster than an accountant

And, of course, the misfits. The outcasts. The weird kids. The kids no one else would hang out with.

I could blend in with them all.

I could change how I acted, how I talked and how I behaved to fit in anywhere. I even fit in with the bullies in the school. I could paintbrush myself into any group of people and they wouldn’t even blink.

I could also change how I spoke in one-on-one conversations. I reflected everyone back at themselves. Not the people that they were but the people their attitudes made them out to be. I could reflect how they talked and acted and no one was none the wiser. They thought I was part of the group. When, really... I was a misfit.

The misfits was where I didn’t have to pretend. I could be myself. I didn’t have to reflect. I’m proud to be a misfit. But I do often wonder... were al of us really just a bunch of misfits and outcasts that made our own groups of friends?

[i-am-not-my-condition]

Guys

I love my brother. At the time of this post, he’s helping some one get through a panic attack through his headset over the internet. He’s been telling them to take deep breaths, to touch his fingers to his thumbs, and to repeat a mantra.

“I am okay, I am fine, everything will be okay, I am in control”

He’s told him that his not alone. I can hear all this through my wall.

I think the guy has fallen as my bro’s asking him to sit up and to ask whoever is near him to help the guy. (Guys name is Tyler, heard at 23:53 *england time*) My bro’s asking questions to the rest of the people online with with him. He’s talking to Tyler, saying if he’s not okay, to step back.

I love my bro. He is a big brother not just to me, but to all who need him. He is amazing and I don’t know what I’d do without him. See, we don’t get on much, but it’s rare and wonderful moments like this that remind me of how he can be a really awesome guy. My bro suffers with anxiety and to hear him help the kid...

Faith in humanity restored.

[i-am-not-my-condition]

In a mood....

I don’t tell my family my problems.

Not because they’ll judge me or I think they don’t care because I know they do. They understand. They understand and that is why I won’t tell them.

It is because I know they care.

I don’t want them to know because I don’t want anyone to be sad over me. I don’t want anyone worrying about me. I don’t want to be a burden to someone. I don’t want my problems to be someone else’s problems.

Because they have they’re own problems too.

My dad had anxiety issues in large crowds and at parties. My mum has something that affects her mental health too. My brother has anger issues and anxiety in crowded spaces like cinemas (movie theatres for my American friends).

I have depression. I suffer from slight memory loss. I have PTSD.

I see so many posts saying ‘talk to people if you feel depressed/anxious/suicidal or if you need help’ but that’s the thing. Most of us don’t want to bother others with our problems.

I hate having to tell people that I’m upset. I hate having to tell them why. I hate being like this but I can’t change who I am. I would much rather suffer in silence and keep my problems to myself because I don’t want to bother someone else who probably DOES have it worse than me. I don’t know what someone else is going through until I talk to them. So I don’t talk. I stay silent. Because it’s better that way. I’m not worth getting upset over. I’m not worth being cried over. I’m not worth anyone’s time/love/affection/attention. I’m really not...

But...

I have made an impact on someone else’s life. On many peoples lives. In a tiny way. I was at work, singing to myself (I do this a lot because it makes me happy and cheers me up) and one of my co-workers asked me to sing for them. I shook my head, getting all shy until they said I probably wasn’t any good. I have been singing since I could speak in proper sentances and learned proper pronunciation. So my brain went ‘CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!!!’ And I sang as they recorded me. They posted it on Snapchat and came back next week with so many positive comments and stories. One of her followers called her and asked to speak to me. I did and I sang for her. Another recorded a video saying how I brightened up her day. I was taken aback. By all these comments. By all these people. I was stunned by how they made me feel. They made me feel worth something. They made me feel better.

It’s funny how such a little thing can change your mood and your perspective.

[i-am-not-my-condition]

8 little ducks-free form poem

8 little ducks all in a row

All hold a secret that no one will know.

They look so neat, so clean and tidy

But they are all secrets that people are hiding

The woman looks up at her collection and smiles

She takes down a duck and polishes it,

Making it shine and look brand new

When it’s covered in cracks and chips.

She reaches for the smallest duck

It’s so thin and feels so fragile

Yet it still holds strong

It gets polished and it becomes thinner

The biggest duck is next

It’s huge and green

With each polish, its colour becomes even greener

Even more sickly

One little duck has bright wide eyes

That always stay open

She gives it only brief sleep

When the cloth skates over its face.

Another little duck is plucked from the shelf

It’s eyes open and alert, ready for action

The cloth moved slowly over the duck

A panicked look on its face as the cloth touched its skin

One little duck always looks sad

Like its about to fall asleep but can’t

The cloth tries to tickle the duck

But the duck feels nothing

This little duck is always right on the edge

One little knock and it’s on the floor

It has tried a few times before

Only to be stopped by the woman and her cloth

The last little duck is in the back

The newest little duck on the shelf

This little duck is different from the rest

For this little duck is yourself.