Toilet Talk (Stranger Things, 3x07)
TW: Internalised homophobia
Spoiler warning!! Don’t say you weren’t told
~
Staring at the floor with her head between her knees, Robin felt her mind racing and her heart started to beat unbelievably fast, she could barely think straight. Whether or not the drugs were compelling him to do it, Steve Harrington was admitting that he had fallen in love with her and her heart broke as tears started to build up. God, why couldn’t she just be normal?! Any other girl or even her sophomore year history teacher, Mrs Click, would have loved to be in her position. This stupid, messed up attraction to girls was going to ruin her fucking life and she couldn’t even control it.
“Robin…” he asked, tapping the toilet stall wall gently, a hint of worry in his voice. “Robin, did you just OD in there?”
She blinked out of her trance and sighed, staring at her vomit in the toilet bowl. She ran her fingers through her hair and leant her chin against the palm of her hand as her eyes briefly fluttered shut. She better say something to the damn idiot before he actually thought she did overdose.
“No.” she sighed again. “I… Am still alive.”
With another deep sigh, she stared at the crimson toilet stall wall and her mind was still racing. Should she tell him? She didn’t want to seem like she was leading him on but this… This would be the first time she would admit the fact that she liked girls instead of boys. Out loud and to herself. She wasn’t ready. At least she didn’t feel like she was. She didn’t feel as confident and carefree as she let on.
However, she felt different around Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington. After spending most of her summer with him, slinging ice-cream and saving America from evil Russians, she felt… Valued. Valued in a way that she hadn’t been before. It was weird but maybe this was a good type of weird. Like she could trust him with anything. She’d never had that before.
Hearing shuffling from the stall next door, Robin looked at the ground again and saw blue sneakers pop out. Following the blue sneakers was Steve as he sat up against the crimson toilet stall wall and the two teenagers stared at each other for a few seconds. Everything was about to change - and she didn’t just mean Hawkins.
“The floor’s disgusting.” she pointed out as she watched him join her in the small cubicle.
“Yeah, well, I already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt so…” he retorted, making Robin chuckle slightly, and they both looked at each other. “What do you think?”
“About?” she replied, knowing what was coming.
God, how could anyone even think about relationships and dating and falling in love at this moment in time? There were evil Russians in the same building as them, building who-knows-what, and they were just sitting in the men’s bathroom, next to a toilet full of puke, talking about their goddamn feelings? Seriously?
“This girl.”
She shrugged, not knowing what to say. “She sounds awesome.”
“She is awesome.“ Steve pressed. “And what about the guy?”
“I think he’s on drugs and he’s not thinking straight.” she stated bluntly.
“Really? ‘Cause I think he’s thinking a lot more clearly than usual.”
This was it. She just had to tell him. Soon, it was going to be too late.
“He’s not. Look… He doesn’t even know this girl. And if he did know her like… Like really know her, I don’t think he’d even want to be his friend.”
By this point, Robin wasn’t even looking at the brunette in front of her. She wanted to so much but… She couldn’t bear the look of disgust that would very soon take over his battered face. She was disgusting and she knew it. It was why Steve never noticed her to begin with.
He began to protest against her statement and she looked back at him, telling him how she felt. She was shocked but she liked him. As a friend. She wasn’t like other girls, like Nancy Wheeler, and she honestly liked it. She scoffed when Steve, once again, missed the point and said that that was why he liked her. She was different and he liked different. The world was boring otherwise.
She reminded him of her previous confession about him in Click’s class. She admitted that she wanted Tammy Thompson to look at her instead of him. She told him how upset she was because he didn’t even like Tammy. Why should he get her attention when Robin wanted it so badly?
He was confused, like she knew he would be. She couldn’t get the words out, she just started at him until he understood. She knew he was dumb but surely, surely, he wasn’t this dumb.
She felt disgusted as silence enveloped them and she wanted to look at anything but him. She couldn’t believe she’d actually done it.
She was lesbian.
“Steve…” she piped up, trying to ease the tension between them with a joke. “Did you OD over there?”
“No, I just, uh… Just thinking.”
Breathing out a quick response, Robin looked away and played with her hair nervously. Why did she do this?! She could’ve just ruined a perfectly good, but weird, friendship because of this. God, she felt like an idiot!
“I mean, yeah.” he continued, making her look at him. “Tammy Thompson, you know, she’s cute and all but… I mean, she’s a total dud.”
Hiding her smile, Robin finally felt at peace as the two started bickering about the Tammy Thompson girl, laughing and joking poking fun at the girl. She was so happy that Steve was totally ok with what she had told him and was even joking around about the girl she liked, which ended up with them both in laughter. That was when she knew she could always count on him. This friendship was going to become something brilliant.
“Ok.” Dustin snapped as he and Erica stormed into the bathroom, making both of them silence immediately. “What the hell?”
They looked at each other and burst into laughter again, unable to contain themselves. She wouldn’t be surprised if Dustin still thought they were drugged but she didn’t care. Oddly enough, this was the best night of her life.
NOT BUGHEAD OR EVEN RIVERDALE BUT MY BRAIN SEEMS TO THINK IT’LL GET MORE TRAFFIC ON THIS ACCOUNT
