may we meet again

beth..england..19 i watch too many shows and my blog is a mess enjoy!

[vikingfighter-deactivated201909]

THERE’S A SEQUEL

[susielesbian]

vine #1: “They say if you look at something for long enough, you’ll start to love it. [shouting] WELL I’LL BE SHOVING MY COCK IN THE FUCKING BRAKE LIGHTS”

vine #2: “Americans drive on that side of the road. But in England, on this side of the road, you sit here and [shouting] DO FUCKING NOTHING.”

vine #3: “Do you wanna live in London? Do you wanna live life in the fast lane? [shouting] GOOD FUCKING LUCK FINDING IT AHH.”

vine #4: “Here’s another joke. So this American guy walks into a bar. Then an Australian guy walks into the bar. Then a English guy–well, he can’t [shouting] FUCKING MAKE IT.”

vine #5: “You can’t just blame the foreigners for traffic, you can’t even just blame motorists for traffic. Sometimes it’s [shouting] FUCKING SANTA CLAU–”

[senorabasura]

i truly believe this guy’s vines will be the cause of death

[sohnyoungjae]

omg I love these

[memescomedy]

[towritelesbiansonherarms]

this cracked me up more than i think it should have

[sandandglass]

[gabe-the-fallen-angel]

What actual friendship is like

[un-magnificentlivesofadults]

My mom just sent me this picture of my dog…I guess we got a lot of snow, then

[un-magnificentlivesofadults]

update:

[back-that-sass-up]

Great update

[shabbosgay]

im beggin dude, don’t take my man

[radio-ha-ha]

has this been done yet

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

me: i’m sure plenty of people burst into tears when someone is nice to them

my therapist: 

[theocseason4]

I am LOSING my mind this is so funny

[blitzkriegfritz]

[a-brad-acadabra]

Wholesome pranks

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

That would be my nosy ass making all those faces in the back 😂😂😂😂😂

[post--grad]

i am absolutely dragging myself through grading my last 6 papers, it is 9:30pm, and one of my favorite students has just used the phrase “Satan and his Gucci gang” in his milton essay

[post--grad]

[11rooks]

Give Hector an A

[gonebynow]

I have this planner with these absolutely ridiculous pages with like “motivational” quotes on them that are just these bullshit things like “Let your heart sing” and “Always believe in your dreams”

and like that’s always struck me as such meaningless bullshit, I’ve always hated those. They’ve never had that element that truly motivates me.

So, I took matters into my own hands and I made my own artsy motivational wallpapers. Enjoy.

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

have i seriously lived long enough to experience the resurgence of demotivational posters’s natural evolution into shitposting motivationals

[glnger-ale-official]

i put new yellow shoelaces on my boots to show people i am Cool. I walk to my work full of old lady cashiers. “I like your shoelaces.” one of them says to me. I see my life flash before my eyes as this ancient test is presented before me

[hey-im-anxiety-deactivated20190]

Op did you say it

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

did you say it op

[literallyaflame]

when i was a little kid, i didn’t care for movies. my parents always admonished me for sitting too close to the screen or fidgeting too much, so i turned to books instead. when i was four, i tried to watch the first harry potter movie. i absolutely loved it, but it wasn’t enough for me. i had to get my hands on that book. the teachers at pre-school said it was a horrible idea, but i read the first two books anyway.

then came kindergarten. the teachers scolded my parents for letting me bring novels to school. “she can’t possibly understand them,” they said. so they gave me tests on the books. i made perfect scores on all of them. i preferred books to movies and television; movies didn’t do justice to the stories i loved.

so, they marked me down as a “gifted child.” they tested my IQ and everything. i was the perfect student, in their eyes. i sat in the front and listened to the teachers as intently as i could.

one day after school, i ran up to my mother and hugged her. then, i turned my head and saw my mother walking towards me. i looked up at the woman i had hugged. “you’re not my mother,” i said, astutely.

my mother, a clever woman, thought to have my eyesight tested. turns out, i had horrible vision. somewhere around 20/450. functionally blind without glasses. not ideal for anyone, especially a six year old.

all my life until that point, people thought i must be some sort of brilliant prodigy, eschewing television and movies for more intellectual pursuits, but actually i just couldn’t fucking see lol

[fuzzynecromancer]

This took a different direction than I was expecting.

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Dumbledore: [to Umbridge] Minerva will show you around.

McGonagall: Right this way is the exit.

[kaijuno]

The real gen z aesthetic is having a vague memory of Maisy mouse in the back of your head that you’ve completely forgotten about until you see a picture of her and you’re suddenly teleported back to 1999

[cultof-aphrodite]

Me to my skin: we’re adults now, let’s act like it.

[bob-belcher]

A forgetful icon