[REDACTED]'s House of Mystery

Two things must ye know of the wise woman...

[y-d-ghoul]

every time andy and luke do their respective Dash X impressions its like "hahaha! what fun! they are of course hamming it up a bit for comedic effect" and then they play a clip from the show and HE REALLY DOES SOUND LIKE THAT

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

I'm personally a massive fan of new podcast host Switchblade Kincaid, with his soothing voice, reasonable habits and ethical business ventures

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

Dozney Chonnel Original Mivie

[Plaintext: Dozney Chonnel Original Mivie]

[wetcopperarmour]

(guy who wasn’t cured by three fiddles and an acoustic guitar): maybe I should get a baritone ukulele and an accordion and a concertina and a banjo and a and a and a and a

[wetcopperarmour]

so I got an English concertina and I don’t feel any less crazy if anything I feel more unstable

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

Does the instability have something to do with the insane camping trip you're currently in the middle of?

[chirpingfromthebox]

[eartothesoil]

lets go team GB 🇬🇧

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

Seeing the boys vs Hungary tomorrow, I'm so excited

[y-d-ghoul]

saw a large candle in a shop the other day and said to meself mmm like the one that that soldier that was rescued by bigfoot had that was given to him by his lover (a candlemaker by trade) and it saved him by absorbing the impact of a bullet from that one episode of So Weird that they talked about on mom can't cook extra helpings and you know maybe im too far gone

[y-d-ghoul]

anyway yeah its like this

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

The word 'Etruscan' activates me like a sleeper agent

[jackfuckingtwist]

the best mom can’t cook episodes are the ones where luke and andy are pleading brokenly into the microphone like “please…we understand this was disney channel in the 90s…but how are we supposed to read this as anything other than queer”

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

There's nothing more heterosexual and manly than shirtlessly roughhousing in a lake with the boys

[y-d-ghoul]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHYYYYYYY

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

I'm on my knees in despair. Why do they keep changing things? Stop it. Step away from the UI editor

[y-d-ghoul]

was feeling generally very miserable then watched some nice tv and ate some cornflakes out of a mug and feeling not as bad anymore 👍

my stupid cornflake life has peaks and troughs 👍

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

My mum loves to eat dry branflakes and cornflakes, and it means that whenever I find one on the living room floor I can investigate it LA Noir-style and go "Hmm, Mum was here..."

[aquitainequeen]

I accept that adverts on Youtube are inevitable, but I object to repeatedly getting an unskippable advert for a product that I already use.

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

The first time it's like "Hey, samesies!" and then every time after it makes me actively want to stop using whatever it is out of sheer spite and the increasing rage of a thousand white hot suns, which I'm sure is a fine and normal response

[sroloc--elbisivni]

i'm reading a book about seventh century northumbria and you've heard of the tiffany problem but let me tell you there is nothing quite like reading through 350 pages calibrating for names like Oswiu and Æthelfrith and Paeda and Ecgfrith and Eanflæd and then getting smacked in the face with the fucking Bishop Chad

[aquitainequeen]

The House at Pooh Corner is hilarious

[kelvinthegoatt]

How why what

[arcanetrivia]

[Image description: A photo of a model ship with something like 14 masts and 200 sails. The scale is hard to tell from the photo, but from a link in the comments, it's about 12 feet high and 18 feet long. /end description]

tl;dr about whether this is AI generated: No, it's a real model, and photos taken in 2019 can be found on Alamy (see this post and this post). It is, however, absolutely bonkers and would not work as a real ship.

Fun facts about the notes:

They're exactly what you'd expect in repeated hyperboles about its imaginary speed and references to it as "sails Georg", "biblically accurate", "problematic ship", and "the Irish Rover" (quoting variations along the lines of "she stood several blasts / and had twenty-seven masts / and they called her the Irish Rover").

It took two whole days for someone to tag ltwilliammowett.

I spotted only two references to One Piece and none to Monkey Island, so I'm going to be the change I wish to see and say this is one Monkey-Island-ass ship.

The number of notes has already gotten quite hard to deal with (justhereforthesherlock called it "the ship that launched a thousand punchlines"), but here's some greatest hits as of September 1:

overcastapocalypse: climbing this with a knife clenched in my teeth mediumsizetex: the knife is to stab the ship's designer if you ever meet him

judicatorypedant: imagine falling while fixing one near the top and your body doing a round of Pirate Plinko

indefenseofseagulls: #HMS administrative nightmare we meet again.

fairybumpkin: #i will catch every wind in every sail they cant fucking escape #whole world's gonna be still when im done with it. fuck jetstreams fuck the coriolis effect. delete the weather

hottubsharts: #shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip rigged schooner

orcboxer: #bosun went up to fix a snarl in the upper upper upper upper t'gallant mainstay and never came back down #they say he's still stuck up there to this day and if you see the lines thrashing in the doldrums that's him‚ trying to break free

wizardnaturalist: #see my thought was to call it the t't't't't't't't'gallant

taavicleric: #the fuck do they call the masts? #fore main mizzen jigger driver rider spanker happy dopey sneezy grumpy doc bashful and sleepy?

chillkoki: #let me show you the ropes #it should only take a month

gairfowl: #the nautical equivalent of what they keep doing to disposable razors

galacta-phantasma: #the first rule of designing a ship is to have fun and be yourself

eldenratgirl: #that aint a ship thats the entire fleet #it ate the rest of them

i-love-linux-and-i-am-back: #takes 1-3 business days to reef

technomancerb3: #this ship is in the dictionary next to the words “diminishing returns”

theoriginalcrossjumper: #imagining this (incorrectly but hilariously) as a ship going veeeeeeery very slowly thru the water at a dead standstill #the captain licks their finger and holds it up. the tiniest hint of a breeze drifts past #the capn nods. gives the order. every single sail unfurls at once #theres ten silent seconds save for the waves where nothing happens #then that tiny breeze hits - and the ship accelerates to the speed of light in a blink leaving a kicked-up spray of steam- #-behind in its wake and vaporizing the top twenty feet of surface ocean instantly #a few very confused fish flop down as the waves crash back in over the channel left behind #(the ship blasts off the edge of the world. instead of falling sinbad style its velocity is so high- #-it achieves successful liftoff. next stop neverland i guess?)

broccococcoli: #scrapped magnus archives entry

kathaderon: #[david attenborough voice ] #the creature has evolved an incredible camouflage #rolled onto it's back #it's legs raised into the air - shell protrusions flared out #it has the appearance of a miniature sailboat #albeit a very strange one #dads and fishermen are it's natural prey #they are drawn by the oddity of it's appearance #unable to resist the urge to examine it's improbably configuration more closely #look! here one comes #shuffling closer and muttering under his breath#he takes out his pipe and brushes imaginary lint of his tweed coat #while leaning forward to stare.. #a huge error that will cost him dearly #what appeared to be ships masts are in fact prehensile armoured legs #which strike forward to enmesh their victim #covered with sharp cutting shell blades #they make short work of the unfortunate grandad #and the creature resumes it's pose.. #the indigestible parts to be rejected later - the sand around is littered with cigarette lighters #broken glasses fishing tackle and rubber boots #a warning oft overlooked that this predator is not what it seems..

mentally-homeless: #all I ask is a tall ship #and… fuck this thing is tall #I can't even see the stars

eyebagtree: #alternatively: the titanic but with 400 engines and smokestacks so they just vaporize the iceberg as they break the sound barrier

spots-of-gold: #call that a full rigged ship

xserpx: #treasure planet here i come

strawberry-wizzard: This looks like a level in Psychonauts about some guy who really likes model ships.

marxistmandalorian: This post just called me a windless commoner

[darksideofthecurtain]

Why do conductors hate putting the people on stage where I can see them? This is the third show in three venues this week.

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

Shoutout to the time @wetcopperarmour and I had to tech a play from the stage because the director insisted on putting the performance at the back of the hall. You know, in the opposite direction to where all the lights were pointed.

[y-d-ghoul]

thinking about The Prancing Perverts again

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

I am always thinking about my good friends Greenscreen and Babyleaf Salad

[i-have-made-a-flat-thing]

This episode has everything:

- Beatles impressions

- The MCC boys are brothers now

- Domestic terrorism Santa

[oxventure-text-posts]