Zed_Conagher

“Well I'm glad whoever let you out because..” “𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘺.” (𝘌𝘔𝘌𝘚𝘐𝘚 𝘉𝘓𝘜𝘌 𝘈𝘜 𝘙𝘗 😈)

[i-like-company]

Well howdy, Folks. I'm the Great Zed Conagher. Eldest twin of the Conagher brothers.

Now before I get this full intro started.. I want to clear up any.. Misconceptions people may have about me. Any remarks about a certain BLU Scout won't be tolerated around here.

Now I do know some people aren't the brightest when it comes to certain things.. So I think it'll be a wise idea fer me to set up some boundaries here an now. -🚬

(INTERACT, DNI AND BOUNDARIES LIST!!

— doubles? What even are those?

— Please try to keep asks somewhat respectful. I really don't care if you ask something somewhat suggestive but fer gods sake.. keep it in your pants..

—Aus? I ain't too Aware on all this young folk talk.

—RED an Blu team is tolerated here. Just don't go starting fights you can't finish..

DNI

—NSFW

— NO com/dark ship, ect.

— sh/ed Content

((This applys to both OOC, and in character posts.))

((Ok! Ooc note here. This is my first time trying to so a serious rp blog! Last time I tried this I had no idea how to, but I hope I got the hang of it now! Most in posts will try to be in character, though this Is based off an Au I have. I might make another post explaining more of the AU after I get some people to notice this blogs existence, lol. also! zeds IC posts will likely be in red and have the sign off of ‘🚬🔩” if I don't put the emoji ive probably just forgotten

TAGS

#Oocmaxxing - out of character post, could be anything.

#String on a doorknob - Thread post

#ask and receive - ask box answers

#random ramblins - In character nonsense

#Need another hand - Interactive posts :D

[tf2-pony]

Puts my paw on ur face.... H.. Hey.. Hey mootie.. Do u think you could do transfem zed .... /nf..or just.. Regular zed....... Idc...

as someone who likes women, i dont draw them often. i love hitting canon male characters with the estrogen beam. makes them hotter

[i-like-company]

(idk if last one went threw)

"H-hey... uhm zed.. uhhhhh... "

They hug zed than give them some flowers and some food then quickly leave

@therustedhacker

IT DID DW🥹//

Zed went taught went being abruptly hugged, before they just stared dumbly at the food, and flowers now on their desk.

“.. Huh”

Really Zed? "Huh"? Is that all you can get out after being shown basic affection?

[therustedhacker]

After a few minutes rust rushes back in"Zed!!! You- me- uhh- uh we should! Go- on a date!! If youd like eventually!!! - pleaseeee!!"

[i-like-company]

“oh.. Sure i—”

There was a moment of silence before the "go on a date” request actually registered in her mind, and she snapped over—

“a What— I.. you? Me? You— You LIKE me?”

She sputtered like a broken engine for a moment, perplexed at the idea that someone could like HER. Surprise Surprise, girlie. You're actually more than tolerable.

[therustedhacker]

"Yes!! Yeah!! Is it still a yess!?"

Rust is a little more shaky than usual

[i-like-company]

“ii— UHH yyeaa SURE YEA? iiI— Guess its a yes? As date??”

Dont worry Rust, She is also very perplexed. Youd expect someone her age would be fine with a simple date but it turns out back then, being a murderer was not the romantic craze..

[i-like-company]

(idk if last one went threw)

"H-hey... uhm zed.. uhhhhh... "

They hug zed than give them some flowers and some food then quickly leave

@therustedhacker

IT DID DW🥹//

Zed went taught went being abruptly hugged, before they just stared dumbly at the food, and flowers now on their desk.

“.. Huh”

Really Zed? "Huh"? Is that all you can get out after being shown basic affection?

[therustedhacker]

After a few minutes rust rushes back in"Zed!!! You- me- uhh- uh we should! Go- on a date!! If youd like eventually!!! - pleaseeee!!"

[i-like-company]

“oh.. Sure i—”

There was a moment of silence before the "go on a date” request actually registered in her mind, and she snapped over—

“a What— I.. you? Me? You— You LIKE me?”

She sputtered like a broken engine for a moment, perplexed at the idea that someone could like HER. Surprise Surprise, girlie. You're actually more than tolerable.

[i-like-company]

(idk if last one went threw)

"H-hey... uhm zed.. uhhhhh... "

They hug zed than give them some flowers and some food then quickly leave

@therustedhacker

IT DID DW🥹//

Zed went taught went being abruptly hugged, before they just stared dumbly at the food, and flowers now on their desk.

“.. Huh”

Really Zed? "Huh"? Is that all you can get out after being shown basic affection?

[slaughterhousebrothers]

OOC//

i drew you. ugly ugly man.

id add it but theres no image file..

"I ain't ugly," Zed states. "I'm fucking charming. There's folks what damn well want a piece a' this."

"Whatever you say, brother.." Maynard mutters.

"Fuck you. You manage to make me look good, boss?"

[i-like-company]

it was a reallly quick and messy doodle on magma but FUCKING TAKE IT. BE HAPPY I EVEN DREW YOUR GREASY HAIR.

ugly bitch. smh atleast ZEDAN HAS GOOD HAIR....

[slaughterhousebrothers]

OOC // have a mediocre Zed sketch made in the best drawing program of all: Samsung Notes that I'm posting here because I Can

deadass just drew this in about a minute just so you all understand the sheer power that is his mullet. I didn't capture just how horrible and probably greasy that thing is because I'm lazy but in actuality. It probably emits a geiger counter reading

[i-like-company]

Sorry fellow zed roleplayer.... Hes a 3a on the Norwood scale

[slaughterhousebrothers]

OOC // As if this isn't exactly what I was going for. (/silly) Arguably, I should have made his hairline worse.

[i-like-company]

Ill always use Norwood on the tf2 characters its so fucking funny.

[slaughterhousebrothers]

// It's SO good 😭 I don't even know why I decided to design Zed like that I just woke up one morning like "he should have a mullet. But give him the beginnings of male pattern baldness" 💀

[i-like-company]

His hairline shows his human empathy. Which is clearly lacking

And meanwhile, Zedan has literal goddess hair somehow??? she isn't even trying to take care of it (Teuface is the one doing all the work lmao)

[slaughterhousebrothers]

OOC // have a mediocre Zed sketch made in the best drawing program of all: Samsung Notes that I'm posting here because I Can

deadass just drew this in about a minute just so you all understand the sheer power that is his mullet. I didn't capture just how horrible and probably greasy that thing is because I'm lazy but in actuality. It probably emits a geiger counter reading

[i-like-company]

Sorry fellow zed roleplayer.... Hes a 3a on the Norwood scale

[slaughterhousebrothers]

OOC // As if this isn't exactly what I was going for. (/silly) Arguably, I should have made his hairline worse.

[i-like-company]

Ill always use Norwood on the tf2 characters its so fucking funny.

[slaughterhousebrothers]

OOC // have a mediocre Zed sketch made in the best drawing program of all: Samsung Notes that I'm posting here because I Can

deadass just drew this in about a minute just so you all understand the sheer power that is his mullet. I didn't capture just how horrible and probably greasy that thing is because I'm lazy but in actuality. It probably emits a geiger counter reading

[i-like-company]

Sorry fellow zed roleplayer.... Hes a 3a on the Norwood scale

[whydoeshegetallthefun]

Ooc post!!

HAPPY DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE!

I did one of these for. Zed.. Soo why not do one for My boy Maynard?

This only took two days and 1 all nighter but I'm proud of it!!

(Granted some parts look a bit funky cause they were done at night but yk we ball.)

Alt vers below cut PLUS A LITTLE EXTRA LORE

So we know how in the movie may doesn't have any eyes under his goggles right? I'm sure it was mostly here for horror effect or some other factors because of the respawn but I've always really liked that detail.

My idea, on WHY his eyes didn't form when he respawned is because they just don't work well— the neuropathways or whatever the fuck It's called I'm not a doctor, didn't fully register his eyes. To be there, so the machine just... Got rid of it, think. Of it like how demo never respawn with his eye, or engineer with his hand that he cut off! Or literally ANY other missing part Of a merc!

Also super sorry if this is worded badly I'm currently jacked up on 3-4 hours of sleep and I get tremours when that happens so my bad if words are fucky

@m3d1c4l-m4ch1n3

[colacarnage]

Zed is judging you.

Process here:

[sadoldboys]

Female zed.. For.. Totally not one of ur moots.. Whatt who's asking this.. 👀

I cant tell if you meant to be anon or not and i dont know which is funnier. Unfortunate

[slaughterhousebrothers]

(Sorry if this is text heavy I have NO idea how to start this off so? Teleporter glitch!)

< @i-like-company

ahh yes, another bland day in the slaughterhouse.. Theres no birds risking their lives by chirping, no annoying sounds (other than Maynard) and a teleporter.. Finally, A decent day! Besides those 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎 anons of course. in all honesty, the only major.. Bad thing? that teleporter tha wasacting up— turning off and on— off and on GOD! THAT sound was so repetitive— well that was until a bigger problem had came from the teleporter...

“Damn things always actin up..”

the New— (very possible) threat glares down at what she presumed to be her brothers work— kicking the side of the teleporter a few times with a scoff.

“MAYNARD! yer bullshit ‘handywork’ is actin' up again!”

∘₊✧───────────✧₊∘

ooc // never fear. You will see soon that I do not gaf about ""text heavy"" things lmao

Maynard had been sitting at his piano, plucking at keys and trying to find something that sounded good when he heard the teleporter whirr in the other room.

He spared a glance towards the clock – it was about time for his obnoxious fucking brother to pop back in from his trip to god-knows-where. He didn't offer any sort of greeting, at least not until a yell from the other room made him jump, his hand jerking and sending a loud, discordant chord through the room.

"Oh, for God's sake," he muttered. He'd just fixed the fucking thing! What more could that asshole possibly want? As he stood, he said under his breath, "Why don'tcha jus' fix it yourself, you prick?", making his way into the other room, scooping a wrench up off a nearby table.

"The hell's wrong with the piece of shit, now?" he asks as he enters.

And then, he stops short. There was something...off, he could feel it, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. It was like staring at some sort of uncanny valley variant of his brother. His first instinct was to hover his hand at his hip, ready to grab the pistol from his holster and carry out justice with extreme prejudice. But then, a more sensible part of him said, maybe you're just tired, maybe you drank too much, and so he didn't, keeping the wrench clutched in his hand.

"The hell's going on now?" he asked, keeping his distance from this odd, uncanny-valley stranger. "You out here fuckin' with me?"

@i-like-company

[i-like-company]

Zed stared back herself, her expression betraying the clear discomfort she felt internally, hell, did She drink too much? Or did May decide to fuck himself over and give himself a new look?

“.. The hell did you do? You look worse than ya normally do... Jesus, did I drink to much this time? ergh— whateva‘ the teleporter fucked up again..”

She flicked some hair out of the way of her face and taking off her hard hat , holding out a pack of beer with one hand.. Giving it. To him.

“Tssh— just.. Here. Take the beer you wanted, I'm dealing with either a headache, Withdrawal, an upcoming hangover, or all three.”

She leaned backwards some— God. That teleport fucking HURT for some reason? Maybe residual energy? Electricity? Fuck, who knows. She muttered some..↓

“I need another drink.. Or maybe smoke.. Both.. Mmnh— both sounds good..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

Maynard held the pack in his free hand, staring at it like he'd just been handed a live explosive, or perhaps some sort of bioweapon. He set it down on the floor, clearly sketched out by this whole thing.

Because, okay, no, there was definitely something weird here. First of all, Zed would never actually willingly give him something, let alone a pack of beer. Second of all...

"You're missin' that godawful mullet of yours."

That's what you notice first? Of all the details here, the mullet (or lack thereof) is what you lock onto? ...God, maybe he really is a dumbass.

It was true, though. His brother had this downright devious haircut that would make ol' Fred Conagher turn in his grave (or wherever it was he actually was, on account of the fact that the brothers were pretty sure he wasn't actually dead). Maynard always insisted that it was horrible – seriously, a shitty mullet and the hairline of a 40 year old? Pick a struggle. – and Zed always insisted that it 'looked fine' and gave him 'character', staunchly refusing to modify it.

Hypothesis? This was a really shitty Spy. There were other options, sure, but that was the one that was least liable to get him committed.

And Spies don't belong here. Maynard drops his wrench to the ground, pulling his pistol out at aiming it at this...intruder. "What the hell have you done with my big brother, you damn sneak?"

Talk about taking this conversation from 0 to 100. Why can't any of these damn people just talk normally without bringing a gun into the mix?

And yet, it's only going to get worse.

[i-like-company]

She stared at the gun for a fee long seconds, trying to fight back a smile that was threatening to form on her lips

“Alright Dumbass, take a damn breath and sit down, you high on some shit or got a concussion? Ive never had a damn mullet except for back when—.. Hahh, never mind..”

they propped a hand on their hip, goggles giving a loud tick in the tense silence before giggling— not able to stop some laughter from bubbling up as they flicked a spare lighter on and off.

“And quit Pointin' that damn gun at me like I can't Respawn.”

Flick, flick. On, off. Flick. On. Flick. Off. She kept playing with the lighter for a few seconds before finally putting it back in her jackets pocket—putting both hands on her hip as he actually took a moment to stare at this.. Uncanny version of her twin brother.

“Did ya' loose weight?”

.. Thats the first thing ya notice too Zed? Really? Wowww I'm disappointed narrator number 2.. Theres a PLETHORA of other things she could point out but his weight is the first thing..

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Please. My brother'd never let go of that shitty ass hairstyle. Pretty sure he keeps it to spite me." His finger twitches where it rests on the trigger, like he's just waiting for a reason to pull it. "And as if. I ain't puttin' this piece down until you tell me what the hell's goin' on here. Keep fuckin' with me, we'll sure find out if you can respawn."

He doesn't move, still aiming his pistol at this...this not-Zed's forehead. He cocks his head.

"Gotta hand it to ya," he says, grinning in that way he does when he's about to turn someone into swiss cheese, "you got the insultin' me to my face down pat. If you weren't wearin' such a shitty disguise, I mighta thought you really were my brother."

As he talks, he quickly shifts the gun into his left hand, shaking out his right like it weren't the hand he were used to holding a gun in. Not only that, but the gun's noticably steadier in his left hand, almost like that were his dominant rather than his right. This multiverse shit's kind of wild, isn't it?

Somewhere down the hall, a door slams – it catches Maynard's attention briefly, prompting him to glance just slightly towards the source of the sound.

"Shit, you're stupider'n I thought. Didn't even bother puttin' down the guy you're tryin' to fake? You stay right there, spook, we're gonna figure out what to do wit' you real quick."

[i-like-company]

She'd stare at this man like he grew. A. Second head— honestly I think she'd be more surprise If that didn't happen with the way this day is going.

“The fuck? Callin me a dumbass? A damn spy? The hell.”

Okay SOMETHING has to be going on here. That hand? The goggles, the way he stands— it was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. All of it.. Hell ,Now she's really starting to see it..

“Youre not—.. Maynard”

She couldn't stop the panic that came through her voice— that same panic that she felt years ago on that Halloween night— when she knew. Her brother was dead. Did she loose him? Again? Was he going to even be able to Come back? Would he be held captive by that damn ghost in the respawn or— or—

“What.. did you do.. To My baby brother—"

[slaughterhousebrothers]

The absolute audacity. It made Maynard sick, the way this– this copy played victim, acted like he was the one in the wrong here. This filthy sneak had done God knows what to his big brother, and now she was treating him like the monster here? Like he was the impostor?

"Don't you dare talk at me about hurtin' people, you two-faced sonuvabitch," he snapped. He tried to hide the way his voice wavered as he continued, "You better hope my brother's okay, or I'm gonna crack that skull of yours open with my bare hands and watch its insides spill onto this floor."

His hand shook as he clutched the gun.

"I've got half a mind to lay you out right here 'n' now, you basta–"

"Hey, dumbass! The fuck's all the noise in here? You talkin' to the wall again, you fuckin' drunk?"

Maynard's head snaps towards the voice that emerges from the doorway, and he lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Oh, thank the Lord, brother, you're alright–"

Zed, his Zed, cocked his head, baring his teeth around a cigarette in a confused approximation of a smile as he asked, "You watched me fuckin' leave, of course I–" He stopped mid-sentence, gaze drifting towards the scene in front of him. The person wearing his face (but not quite his), the gun his little brother had pointed at their forehead, the way he'd seemed so worried when he'd walked in. "...What the fuck is this?"

[i-like-company]

She'd stare at the copycat with a varying expression, confusion.. Shock. A bit of disgust cause DAYUM the fuck is that haircut? And finally settling on a fearful rage

“Who the hell are you two— why are.. What the FUCK is this why are you in my slaughterhouse— where— Where the HELL is my baby brother—”

She managed to spit out a sentence she reached under her belt for a weapon, knowing well she had nothing but a drill on her, but she was hoping bluffing was enough.

“I swear to God above and below if you hurt MayMay—”

She threatened— she didn't know what she'd do — but by God if Maynard.. If he was hurt? She'd kill everyone in this damn room if they had anything to do with it— maybe not kill them for a week, maybe. But God—

Her hand kept shaking—and the fear was bad enough to damn near make her cry, throw up, maybe both.

“oh fucck— what the fuck—"

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Okay, everyone just– Just shut the fuck up for a minute!" Zed barks. Then, he turns to Maynard. "May, get your ass over here. An' put your fucking gun away, you're goin' to get someone fucking shot."

Maynard grumbles under his breath, tucking his pistol back in its holster as he skulks over to his brother.

With complete disregard for their unexpected visitor's fear and rage, they have an aside – they can be heard talking quietly to each other.

This a Spy? one brother asks. Don't really believe so, the other replies.

Hey, remember what Dell told us? When we smacked our heads? His whole 'interdimensional travel' theory?

What, you think this is that?

Could be. If we can go there, then why couldn't someone else come here? Sides that, pa never really talked about how them teleporters worked when he left us the blueprints.

They glance towards her occasionally as they talk about her like she's not even there. At one point, Maynard makes a suggestion that Zed apparently doesn't take kindly to, earning him a smack upside the head. He grunts, saying, "It was just an idea!"

"Stupid ass idea, it was." Zed sighs heavily, pulling off his hardhat and running a hand through his hair. "Look, I reckon we've seen all kinds of...of weird shit. If there's more'n one Dell, then why's more than one o' one of us any weirder?"

Maynard sighs in resignation. "Reckon you've got a point."

"Uh, yeah, of course I have a point, dumbass. You was born seven minutes after me, not fucking yesterday. Use that hollowed-out head a' yours."

Sure would be nice if anybody would let Zed 2.0 over here in on the secret.

[i-like-company]

Tw for this one: Vomit.

┈┈┈┈┈┈

She stared at the two in bewilderment— mind and mood still reeling at whatever the fuck happened, her questions weren't a swered yet, and she was still (literally) worried sick for her Brother

“M— answer me— you assholes where the hheeell—"

The rest of her sentence was cut off by a gag, and she covered up her mouth before managing a few steps to the side, retching and puking behind a dispenser.

She coughed and wiped her mouth after emptying her stomach— spitting at the ground before walking back to where she was standing.

“ffh.. Ah.. As. I was sayin— where.. The hell is my brother-? And why.. Are you in my slaughterhouse..? And You—"

She pointed a finger at The other Zed

“Why in Hell's Bells do you look like a rip off o' me?”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

Both of them turn to watch, with varied levels of disgust, as this not-doppelganger – Zedan, though they were unaware that that was her full name – promptly ejects whatever she'd last consumed off behind a dispenser.

"I ain't cleanin' that up," Zed states plainly.

"Fuck. You."

Zed scoffs, turning his full attention towards his interdimensional double. "First of all, I ain't a rip-off. If anything, you're a rip-off of me, considerin' this is OUR slaughterhouse you're in, not your own. Second, I reckon YOUR brother is probably back wherever the hell YOU left him last. Third, if you're anything like me – so far, I ain't convinced of that – then you're either gonna call us batshit crazy when we tell you about interdimensional travel, or you're gonna hear it an' go, 'yep, that's about right', and I really don't want to have to deal with guessin' which one it's gonna be."

Okay. Way to let her down easy, Zed.

[i-like-company]

She took a good long moment before sighing audibly, leaning against the wall and reaching in her pocket to get her lighter flicking it on and off repetitively.

“what this is is me needing a damn smoke.. Or another drink”

She stared over at the teleporter, then the other two.

“.. Teleporter was always a bit Finnicky after the fire huh? Damn blueprint got burnt to a Crisp.. Was a pain in the ass to remake without Dell..”

Flick. Click. Flick. Click. Flick. She kept lighting the damn thing on and of. It was definitely betraying the sheer anxiety she had— hell. All she wanted was to get her little brother some damn drinks, maybe apologize for being a asshole the night before or some— wait..

“.. Fuuucck Wren is gonna be so worried..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Fuck, there we go, some coherent fuckin' conversation," Zed says, sighing heavily. "I'd say gettin' here was like pullin' teeth, but I've pulled teeth an' it was a helluvalot easier than this."

He watches her fidget with the lighter for a moment. The flame reflects off his goggles as he puts their blank gaze on it, and after a moment, he scoffs.

"God, that sound's gonna drive me nuts," he muttered. He pulls a smoke out of his pocket, holding it out to Zedan a bit like he didn't particularly want to make direct contact with her. Might cause a paradox or something, who knows. "For everyone's sake, have a fuckin' smoke. I'm goin' insane over here."

Maynard's the first to acknowledge her comments – Fire? Burned? He'd never heard of such a thing.

"What, uh, what d'you mean by fire?" he asks, pretty certain the question's going to earn him an insult. "We didn't have no fire. An' we still got the prints. Little brother keeps 'em in his shop back at his base, but, eh, close enough. An' who the hell..."

As if this couldn't get any weirder, now we're dealing with timeline shit? Good lord.

[i-like-company]

“There wasaa.. Pretty bad fire round the 86th.. Fucking nightmare I tell ya. Some sweet blu bunny boy came. Long our workshop.. 'nd I ended up.. Taking care of him..”

She smirked at the mention of The BLU scout— gorxthat little bastard was probably one of her favourites to mess with, always soo cute with those reactions(as if screaming bloody murder was adorable..) as she grabbed the cigarette lighting it and taking a moment to taste.

“tastes a bit shit. But uh..yea— apparently the kid had a lil medic buddy following along.. Shit happened..Maynie died..uhm—”

She waved her hand around as she tried to leave out.. Certain bits and pieces... (Like the time you pulled a drill out as if it was a gun?. Yea. Dumbass. Idiot)

"wee.. Uh.. Lost.. The entire slaughterhouse until RED gave us an' Old teufort.. Had to rebuild from scratch kinda... The.. Respawn. Uh—”

She took another long drag from the cigarette for a moment. Eyes. Downcast as she thought for a long few seconds.

“Respawn got even more fucked up. Especially ever since Dell had— uh.. Got.. ‘promoted’..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Be grateful I gave you one at all."

At the mere mention of her Maynard's death, Zed grabs ahold of his own brother's shoulder tightly, like even talking about it might bring it into being.

Maynard grunts, but doesn't comment.

Instead, he says, "So...Your Dell's not around?" He winces, shaking his head. "We got ours an' I still worry. He works with RED, an' I always worry respawn's gonna take a shit one day."

"He'll be fine, May," Zed grumbles. "Y'all worry too much. He's probably out killin' them filthy, stinkin' BLUs right now."

Maynard sighs heavily. "Feel like I should be offended by that."

"What was that?"

"Nothin'."

[i-like-company]

"Technically me and May are still in the system.. We respawn an all, still get paid.. But we won't do shit unless they start beggin.”

She burned the cigarette down to the filter and reached her hand out in asks for another.

“But yea.. Our Dells gone, They've been dead and inside—.”

Shit.

Well that wasnt ment to slip now was it dumbass?

She dropped the old cigarette she was holding and crushed it under the toe of her boot with a twist. Leaning back and pocketing her hands.

“Yall don't work with Helix no More? Sounds like a damn luxury, bein able to do what ya want without having follow some. Protocol..tsh. Damn admins always breathin down yer neck..”

She diverted quickly, giving a shrug and kicking the butt of the cigarette away from her boot after crushing it for an unnecessarily long time.

“Ive been dyin to leave that God awful company but they legally own me so.... I gotta make due by fuckin with their main folks.. Heh.”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

The idea of Dell being dead seems to bother both of the twins. Neither of them say anything, just look at each other like they were just told the world was going to end.

"Please," Zed says, trying to hide his discomfort through cockiness. "We're fucking Conaghers – far as our family goes, we may as well own RED, BLU, and all of TF Industries. Grandpappy's the whole reason this stupid ass war keeps a-goin'."

"Yeah...I still ain't too sure that that was a good use of an immortality machine," Maynard says.

"I don't know. At this point, questionin' Papa Rad would be like questionin' God. He was a damn brilliant man, so who gives a shit?"

"Fair 'nuff."

Man, these two really love just totally omitting Zedan from their conversations.

Zed coughs, finally acknowledging the way Zedan silently requests another cigarette – he hands one over, before promptly lighting up another of his own.

"I've done what I want for as long as I can remember. Some bitchass company thinks they could own me, they'd have another thing comin'," he says. Then, unable to keep it in, he says, "If my little brother ever gets killed for good because of those pieces of shit, I'm gonna walk in there and stick my wrench so far up their ass that they'll taste it in their fucking mouth."

[i-like-company]

"hah! Damn I wish.. I would've done that years ago.. But they have Maynards life held over me like a damn worm on a hook..”

She admitted while lighting the new cigarette, taking a drag of smoke a moment after— she wasn't afraid of exposing the admins dirty tricks. He was under the impression this place would be safe— they weren't active mercs. So why not spit out her opinion of those dirty admins?

"Theyre the bastards who took my Brother apart and out Them in that damn thing..”

“Theyre reaal cowards now, reckon it's cause Missus P passed long while ago.. She was the only person I actually respected there.. Girl knew how to put in work.”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

(Sorry if this is text heavy I have NO idea how to start this off so? Teleporter glitch!)

< @i-like-company

ahh yes, another bland day in the slaughterhouse.. Theres no birds risking their lives by chirping, no annoying sounds (other than Maynard) and a teleporter.. Finally, A decent day! Besides those 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎 anons of course. in all honesty, the only major.. Bad thing? that teleporter tha wasacting up— turning off and on— off and on GOD! THAT sound was so repetitive— well that was until a bigger problem had came from the teleporter...

“Damn things always actin up..”

the New— (very possible) threat glares down at what she presumed to be her brothers work— kicking the side of the teleporter a few times with a scoff.

“MAYNARD! yer bullshit ‘handywork’ is actin' up again!”

∘₊✧───────────✧₊∘

ooc // never fear. You will see soon that I do not gaf about ""text heavy"" things lmao

Maynard had been sitting at his piano, plucking at keys and trying to find something that sounded good when he heard the teleporter whirr in the other room.

He spared a glance towards the clock – it was about time for his obnoxious fucking brother to pop back in from his trip to god-knows-where. He didn't offer any sort of greeting, at least not until a yell from the other room made him jump, his hand jerking and sending a loud, discordant chord through the room.

"Oh, for God's sake," he muttered. He'd just fixed the fucking thing! What more could that asshole possibly want? As he stood, he said under his breath, "Why don'tcha jus' fix it yourself, you prick?", making his way into the other room, scooping a wrench up off a nearby table.

"The hell's wrong with the piece of shit, now?" he asks as he enters.

And then, he stops short. There was something...off, he could feel it, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. It was like staring at some sort of uncanny valley variant of his brother. His first instinct was to hover his hand at his hip, ready to grab the pistol from his holster and carry out justice with extreme prejudice. But then, a more sensible part of him said, maybe you're just tired, maybe you drank too much, and so he didn't, keeping the wrench clutched in his hand.

"The hell's going on now?" he asked, keeping his distance from this odd, uncanny-valley stranger. "You out here fuckin' with me?"

@i-like-company

[i-like-company]

Zed stared back herself, her expression betraying the clear discomfort she felt internally, hell, did She drink too much? Or did May decide to fuck himself over and give himself a new look?

“.. The hell did you do? You look worse than ya normally do... Jesus, did I drink to much this time? ergh— whateva‘ the teleporter fucked up again..”

She flicked some hair out of the way of her face and taking off her hard hat , holding out a pack of beer with one hand.. Giving it. To him.

“Tssh— just.. Here. Take the beer you wanted, I'm dealing with either a headache, Withdrawal, an upcoming hangover, or all three.”

She leaned backwards some— God. That teleport fucking HURT for some reason? Maybe residual energy? Electricity? Fuck, who knows. She muttered some..↓

“I need another drink.. Or maybe smoke.. Both.. Mmnh— both sounds good..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

Maynard held the pack in his free hand, staring at it like he'd just been handed a live explosive, or perhaps some sort of bioweapon. He set it down on the floor, clearly sketched out by this whole thing.

Because, okay, no, there was definitely something weird here. First of all, Zed would never actually willingly give him something, let alone a pack of beer. Second of all...

"You're missin' that godawful mullet of yours."

That's what you notice first? Of all the details here, the mullet (or lack thereof) is what you lock onto? ...God, maybe he really is a dumbass.

It was true, though. His brother had this downright devious haircut that would make ol' Fred Conagher turn in his grave (or wherever it was he actually was, on account of the fact that the brothers were pretty sure he wasn't actually dead). Maynard always insisted that it was horrible – seriously, a shitty mullet and the hairline of a 40 year old? Pick a struggle. – and Zed always insisted that it 'looked fine' and gave him 'character', staunchly refusing to modify it.

Hypothesis? This was a really shitty Spy. There were other options, sure, but that was the one that was least liable to get him committed.

And Spies don't belong here. Maynard drops his wrench to the ground, pulling his pistol out at aiming it at this...intruder. "What the hell have you done with my big brother, you damn sneak?"

Talk about taking this conversation from 0 to 100. Why can't any of these damn people just talk normally without bringing a gun into the mix?

And yet, it's only going to get worse.

[i-like-company]

She stared at the gun for a fee long seconds, trying to fight back a smile that was threatening to form on her lips

“Alright Dumbass, take a damn breath and sit down, you high on some shit or got a concussion? Ive never had a damn mullet except for back when—.. Hahh, never mind..”

they propped a hand on their hip, goggles giving a loud tick in the tense silence before giggling— not able to stop some laughter from bubbling up as they flicked a spare lighter on and off.

“And quit Pointin' that damn gun at me like I can't Respawn.”

Flick, flick. On, off. Flick. On. Flick. Off. She kept playing with the lighter for a few seconds before finally putting it back in her jackets pocket—putting both hands on her hip as he actually took a moment to stare at this.. Uncanny version of her twin brother.

“Did ya' loose weight?”

.. Thats the first thing ya notice too Zed? Really? Wowww I'm disappointed narrator number 2.. Theres a PLETHORA of other things she could point out but his weight is the first thing..

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Please. My brother'd never let go of that shitty ass hairstyle. Pretty sure he keeps it to spite me." His finger twitches where it rests on the trigger, like he's just waiting for a reason to pull it. "And as if. I ain't puttin' this piece down until you tell me what the hell's goin' on here. Keep fuckin' with me, we'll sure find out if you can respawn."

He doesn't move, still aiming his pistol at this...this not-Zed's forehead. He cocks his head.

"Gotta hand it to ya," he says, grinning in that way he does when he's about to turn someone into swiss cheese, "you got the insultin' me to my face down pat. If you weren't wearin' such a shitty disguise, I mighta thought you really were my brother."

As he talks, he quickly shifts the gun into his left hand, shaking out his right like it weren't the hand he were used to holding a gun in. Not only that, but the gun's noticably steadier in his left hand, almost like that were his dominant rather than his right. This multiverse shit's kind of wild, isn't it?

Somewhere down the hall, a door slams – it catches Maynard's attention briefly, prompting him to glance just slightly towards the source of the sound.

"Shit, you're stupider'n I thought. Didn't even bother puttin' down the guy you're tryin' to fake? You stay right there, spook, we're gonna figure out what to do wit' you real quick."

[i-like-company]

She'd stare at this man like he grew. A. Second head— honestly I think she'd be more surprise If that didn't happen with the way this day is going.

“The fuck? Callin me a dumbass? A damn spy? The hell.”

Okay SOMETHING has to be going on here. That hand? The goggles, the way he stands— it was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. All of it.. Hell ,Now she's really starting to see it..

“Youre not—.. Maynard”

She couldn't stop the panic that came through her voice— that same panic that she felt years ago on that Halloween night— when she knew. Her brother was dead. Did she loose him? Again? Was he going to even be able to Come back? Would he be held captive by that damn ghost in the respawn or— or—

“What.. did you do.. To My baby brother—"

[slaughterhousebrothers]

The absolute audacity. It made Maynard sick, the way this– this copy played victim, acted like he was the one in the wrong here. This filthy sneak had done God knows what to his big brother, and now she was treating him like the monster here? Like he was the impostor?

"Don't you dare talk at me about hurtin' people, you two-faced sonuvabitch," he snapped. He tried to hide the way his voice wavered as he continued, "You better hope my brother's okay, or I'm gonna crack that skull of yours open with my bare hands and watch its insides spill onto this floor."

His hand shook as he clutched the gun.

"I've got half a mind to lay you out right here 'n' now, you basta–"

"Hey, dumbass! The fuck's all the noise in here? You talkin' to the wall again, you fuckin' drunk?"

Maynard's head snaps towards the voice that emerges from the doorway, and he lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Oh, thank the Lord, brother, you're alright–"

Zed, his Zed, cocked his head, baring his teeth around a cigarette in a confused approximation of a smile as he asked, "You watched me fuckin' leave, of course I–" He stopped mid-sentence, gaze drifting towards the scene in front of him. The person wearing his face (but not quite his), the gun his little brother had pointed at their forehead, the way he'd seemed so worried when he'd walked in. "...What the fuck is this?"

[i-like-company]

She'd stare at the copycat with a varying expression, confusion.. Shock. A bit of disgust cause DAYUM the fuck is that haircut? And finally settling on a fearful rage

“Who the hell are you two— why are.. What the FUCK is this why are you in my slaughterhouse— where— Where the HELL is my baby brother—”

She managed to spit out a sentence she reached under her belt for a weapon, knowing well she had nothing but a drill on her, but she was hoping bluffing was enough.

“I swear to God above and below if you hurt MayMay—”

She threatened— she didn't know what she'd do — but by God if Maynard.. If he was hurt? She'd kill everyone in this damn room if they had anything to do with it— maybe not kill them for a week, maybe. But God—

Her hand kept shaking—and the fear was bad enough to damn near make her cry, throw up, maybe both.

“oh fucck— what the fuck—"

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Okay, everyone just– Just shut the fuck up for a minute!" Zed barks. Then, he turns to Maynard. "May, get your ass over here. An' put your fucking gun away, you're goin' to get someone fucking shot."

Maynard grumbles under his breath, tucking his pistol back in its holster as he skulks over to his brother.

With complete disregard for their unexpected visitor's fear and rage, they have an aside – they can be heard talking quietly to each other.

This a Spy? one brother asks. Don't really believe so, the other replies.

Hey, remember what Dell told us? When we smacked our heads? His whole 'interdimensional travel' theory?

What, you think this is that?

Could be. If we can go there, then why couldn't someone else come here? Sides that, pa never really talked about how them teleporters worked when he left us the blueprints.

They glance towards her occasionally as they talk about her like she's not even there. At one point, Maynard makes a suggestion that Zed apparently doesn't take kindly to, earning him a smack upside the head. He grunts, saying, "It was just an idea!"

"Stupid ass idea, it was." Zed sighs heavily, pulling off his hardhat and running a hand through his hair. "Look, I reckon we've seen all kinds of...of weird shit. If there's more'n one Dell, then why's more than one o' one of us any weirder?"

Maynard sighs in resignation. "Reckon you've got a point."

"Uh, yeah, of course I have a point, dumbass. You was born seven minutes after me, not fucking yesterday. Use that hollowed-out head a' yours."

Sure would be nice if anybody would let Zed 2.0 over here in on the secret.

[i-like-company]

Tw for this one: Vomit.

┈┈┈┈┈┈

She stared at the two in bewilderment— mind and mood still reeling at whatever the fuck happened, her questions weren't a swered yet, and she was still (literally) worried sick for her Brother

“M— answer me— you assholes where the hheeell—"

The rest of her sentence was cut off by a gag, and she covered up her mouth before managing a few steps to the side, retching and puking behind a dispenser.

She coughed and wiped her mouth after emptying her stomach— spitting at the ground before walking back to where she was standing.

“ffh.. Ah.. As. I was sayin— where.. The hell is my brother-? And why.. Are you in my slaughterhouse..? And You—"

She pointed a finger at The other Zed

“Why in Hell's Bells do you look like a rip off o' me?”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

Both of them turn to watch, with varied levels of disgust, as this not-doppelganger – Zedan, though they were unaware that that was her full name – promptly ejects whatever she'd last consumed off behind a dispenser.

"I ain't cleanin' that up," Zed states plainly.

"Fuck. You."

Zed scoffs, turning his full attention towards his interdimensional double. "First of all, I ain't a rip-off. If anything, you're a rip-off of me, considerin' this is OUR slaughterhouse you're in, not your own. Second, I reckon YOUR brother is probably back wherever the hell YOU left him last. Third, if you're anything like me – so far, I ain't convinced of that – then you're either gonna call us batshit crazy when we tell you about interdimensional travel, or you're gonna hear it an' go, 'yep, that's about right', and I really don't want to have to deal with guessin' which one it's gonna be."

Okay. Way to let her down easy, Zed.

[i-like-company]

She took a good long moment before sighing audibly, leaning against the wall and reaching in her pocket to get her lighter flicking it on and off repetitively.

“what this is is me needing a damn smoke.. Or another drink”

She stared over at the teleporter, then the other two.

“.. Teleporter was always a bit Finnicky after the fire huh? Damn blueprint got burnt to a Crisp.. Was a pain in the ass to remake without Dell..”

Flick. Click. Flick. Click. Flick. She kept lighting the damn thing on and of. It was definitely betraying the sheer anxiety she had— hell. All she wanted was to get her little brother some damn drinks, maybe apologize for being a asshole the night before or some— wait..

“.. Fuuucck Wren is gonna be so worried..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Fuck, there we go, some coherent fuckin' conversation," Zed says, sighing heavily. "I'd say gettin' here was like pullin' teeth, but I've pulled teeth an' it was a helluvalot easier than this."

He watches her fidget with the lighter for a moment. The flame reflects off his goggles as he puts their blank gaze on it, and after a moment, he scoffs.

"God, that sound's gonna drive me nuts," he muttered. He pulls a smoke out of his pocket, holding it out to Zedan a bit like he didn't particularly want to make direct contact with her. Might cause a paradox or something, who knows. "For everyone's sake, have a fuckin' smoke. I'm goin' insane over here."

Maynard's the first to acknowledge her comments – Fire? Burned? He'd never heard of such a thing.

"What, uh, what d'you mean by fire?" he asks, pretty certain the question's going to earn him an insult. "We didn't have no fire. An' we still got the prints. Little brother keeps 'em in his shop back at his base, but, eh, close enough. An' who the hell..."

As if this couldn't get any weirder, now we're dealing with timeline shit? Good lord.

[i-like-company]

“There wasaa.. Pretty bad fire round the 86th.. Fucking nightmare I tell ya. Some sweet blu bunny boy came. Long our workshop.. 'nd I ended up.. Taking care of him..”

She smirked at the mention of The BLU scout— gorxthat little bastard was probably one of her favourites to mess with, always soo cute with those reactions(as if screaming bloody murder was adorable..) as she grabbed the cigarette lighting it and taking a moment to taste.

“tastes a bit shit. But uh..yea— apparently the kid had a lil medic buddy following along.. Shit happened..Maynie died..uhm—”

She waved her hand around as she tried to leave out.. Certain bits and pieces... (Like the time you pulled a drill out as if it was a gun?. Yea. Dumbass. Idiot)

"wee.. Uh.. Lost.. The entire slaughterhouse until RED gave us an' Old teufort.. Had to rebuild from scratch kinda... The.. Respawn. Uh—”

She took another long drag from the cigarette for a moment. Eyes. Downcast as she thought for a long few seconds.

“Respawn got even more fucked up. Especially ever since Dell had— uh.. Got.. ‘promoted’..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Be grateful I gave you one at all."

At the mere mention of her Maynard's death, Zed grabs ahold of his own brother's shoulder tightly, like even talking about it might bring it into being.

Maynard grunts, but doesn't comment.

Instead, he says, "So...Your Dell's not around?" He winces, shaking his head. "We got ours an' I still worry. He works with RED, an' I always worry respawn's gonna take a shit one day."

"He'll be fine, May," Zed grumbles. "Y'all worry too much. He's probably out killin' them filthy, stinkin' BLUs right now."

Maynard sighs heavily. "Feel like I should be offended by that."

"What was that?"

"Nothin'."

[i-like-company]

"Technically me and May are still in the system.. We respawn an all, still get paid.. But we won't do shit unless they start beggin.”

She burned the cigarette down to the filter and reached her hand out in asks for another.

“But yea.. Our Dells gone, They've been dead and inside—.”

Shit.

Well that wasnt ment to slip now was it dumbass?

She dropped the old cigarette she was holding and crushed it under the toe of her boot with a twist. Leaning back and pocketing her hands.

“Yall don't work with Helix no More? Sounds like a damn luxury, bein able to do what ya want without having follow some. Protocol..tsh. Damn admins always breathin down yer neck..”

She diverted quickly, giving a shrug and kicking the butt of the cigarette away from her boot after crushing it for an unnecessarily long time.

“Ive been dyin to leave that God awful company but they legally own me so.... I gotta make due by fuckin with their main folks.. Heh.”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

(Sorry if this is text heavy I have NO idea how to start this off so? Teleporter glitch!)

< @i-like-company

ahh yes, another bland day in the slaughterhouse.. Theres no birds risking their lives by chirping, no annoying sounds (other than Maynard) and a teleporter.. Finally, A decent day! Besides those 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎 anons of course. in all honesty, the only major.. Bad thing? that teleporter tha wasacting up— turning off and on— off and on GOD! THAT sound was so repetitive— well that was until a bigger problem had came from the teleporter...

“Damn things always actin up..”

the New— (very possible) threat glares down at what she presumed to be her brothers work— kicking the side of the teleporter a few times with a scoff.

“MAYNARD! yer bullshit ‘handywork’ is actin' up again!”

∘₊✧───────────✧₊∘

ooc // never fear. You will see soon that I do not gaf about ""text heavy"" things lmao

Maynard had been sitting at his piano, plucking at keys and trying to find something that sounded good when he heard the teleporter whirr in the other room.

He spared a glance towards the clock – it was about time for his obnoxious fucking brother to pop back in from his trip to god-knows-where. He didn't offer any sort of greeting, at least not until a yell from the other room made him jump, his hand jerking and sending a loud, discordant chord through the room.

"Oh, for God's sake," he muttered. He'd just fixed the fucking thing! What more could that asshole possibly want? As he stood, he said under his breath, "Why don'tcha jus' fix it yourself, you prick?", making his way into the other room, scooping a wrench up off a nearby table.

"The hell's wrong with the piece of shit, now?" he asks as he enters.

And then, he stops short. There was something...off, he could feel it, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. It was like staring at some sort of uncanny valley variant of his brother. His first instinct was to hover his hand at his hip, ready to grab the pistol from his holster and carry out justice with extreme prejudice. But then, a more sensible part of him said, maybe you're just tired, maybe you drank too much, and so he didn't, keeping the wrench clutched in his hand.

"The hell's going on now?" he asked, keeping his distance from this odd, uncanny-valley stranger. "You out here fuckin' with me?"

@i-like-company

[i-like-company]

Zed stared back herself, her expression betraying the clear discomfort she felt internally, hell, did She drink too much? Or did May decide to fuck himself over and give himself a new look?

“.. The hell did you do? You look worse than ya normally do... Jesus, did I drink to much this time? ergh— whateva‘ the teleporter fucked up again..”

She flicked some hair out of the way of her face and taking off her hard hat , holding out a pack of beer with one hand.. Giving it. To him.

“Tssh— just.. Here. Take the beer you wanted, I'm dealing with either a headache, Withdrawal, an upcoming hangover, or all three.”

She leaned backwards some— God. That teleport fucking HURT for some reason? Maybe residual energy? Electricity? Fuck, who knows. She muttered some..↓

“I need another drink.. Or maybe smoke.. Both.. Mmnh— both sounds good..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

Maynard held the pack in his free hand, staring at it like he'd just been handed a live explosive, or perhaps some sort of bioweapon. He set it down on the floor, clearly sketched out by this whole thing.

Because, okay, no, there was definitely something weird here. First of all, Zed would never actually willingly give him something, let alone a pack of beer. Second of all...

"You're missin' that godawful mullet of yours."

That's what you notice first? Of all the details here, the mullet (or lack thereof) is what you lock onto? ...God, maybe he really is a dumbass.

It was true, though. His brother had this downright devious haircut that would make ol' Fred Conagher turn in his grave (or wherever it was he actually was, on account of the fact that the brothers were pretty sure he wasn't actually dead). Maynard always insisted that it was horrible – seriously, a shitty mullet and the hairline of a 40 year old? Pick a struggle. – and Zed always insisted that it 'looked fine' and gave him 'character', staunchly refusing to modify it.

Hypothesis? This was a really shitty Spy. There were other options, sure, but that was the one that was least liable to get him committed.

And Spies don't belong here. Maynard drops his wrench to the ground, pulling his pistol out at aiming it at this...intruder. "What the hell have you done with my big brother, you damn sneak?"

Talk about taking this conversation from 0 to 100. Why can't any of these damn people just talk normally without bringing a gun into the mix?

And yet, it's only going to get worse.

[i-like-company]

She stared at the gun for a fee long seconds, trying to fight back a smile that was threatening to form on her lips

“Alright Dumbass, take a damn breath and sit down, you high on some shit or got a concussion? Ive never had a damn mullet except for back when—.. Hahh, never mind..”

they propped a hand on their hip, goggles giving a loud tick in the tense silence before giggling— not able to stop some laughter from bubbling up as they flicked a spare lighter on and off.

“And quit Pointin' that damn gun at me like I can't Respawn.”

Flick, flick. On, off. Flick. On. Flick. Off. She kept playing with the lighter for a few seconds before finally putting it back in her jackets pocket—putting both hands on her hip as he actually took a moment to stare at this.. Uncanny version of her twin brother.

“Did ya' loose weight?”

.. Thats the first thing ya notice too Zed? Really? Wowww I'm disappointed narrator number 2.. Theres a PLETHORA of other things she could point out but his weight is the first thing..

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Please. My brother'd never let go of that shitty ass hairstyle. Pretty sure he keeps it to spite me." His finger twitches where it rests on the trigger, like he's just waiting for a reason to pull it. "And as if. I ain't puttin' this piece down until you tell me what the hell's goin' on here. Keep fuckin' with me, we'll sure find out if you can respawn."

He doesn't move, still aiming his pistol at this...this not-Zed's forehead. He cocks his head.

"Gotta hand it to ya," he says, grinning in that way he does when he's about to turn someone into swiss cheese, "you got the insultin' me to my face down pat. If you weren't wearin' such a shitty disguise, I mighta thought you really were my brother."

As he talks, he quickly shifts the gun into his left hand, shaking out his right like it weren't the hand he were used to holding a gun in. Not only that, but the gun's noticably steadier in his left hand, almost like that were his dominant rather than his right. This multiverse shit's kind of wild, isn't it?

Somewhere down the hall, a door slams – it catches Maynard's attention briefly, prompting him to glance just slightly towards the source of the sound.

"Shit, you're stupider'n I thought. Didn't even bother puttin' down the guy you're tryin' to fake? You stay right there, spook, we're gonna figure out what to do wit' you real quick."

[i-like-company]

She'd stare at this man like he grew. A. Second head— honestly I think she'd be more surprise If that didn't happen with the way this day is going.

“The fuck? Callin me a dumbass? A damn spy? The hell.”

Okay SOMETHING has to be going on here. That hand? The goggles, the way he stands— it was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. All of it.. Hell ,Now she's really starting to see it..

“Youre not—.. Maynard”

She couldn't stop the panic that came through her voice— that same panic that she felt years ago on that Halloween night— when she knew. Her brother was dead. Did she loose him? Again? Was he going to even be able to Come back? Would he be held captive by that damn ghost in the respawn or— or—

“What.. did you do.. To My baby brother—"

[slaughterhousebrothers]

The absolute audacity. It made Maynard sick, the way this– this copy played victim, acted like he was the one in the wrong here. This filthy sneak had done God knows what to his big brother, and now she was treating him like the monster here? Like he was the impostor?

"Don't you dare talk at me about hurtin' people, you two-faced sonuvabitch," he snapped. He tried to hide the way his voice wavered as he continued, "You better hope my brother's okay, or I'm gonna crack that skull of yours open with my bare hands and watch its insides spill onto this floor."

His hand shook as he clutched the gun.

"I've got half a mind to lay you out right here 'n' now, you basta–"

"Hey, dumbass! The fuck's all the noise in here? You talkin' to the wall again, you fuckin' drunk?"

Maynard's head snaps towards the voice that emerges from the doorway, and he lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Oh, thank the Lord, brother, you're alright–"

Zed, his Zed, cocked his head, baring his teeth around a cigarette in a confused approximation of a smile as he asked, "You watched me fuckin' leave, of course I–" He stopped mid-sentence, gaze drifting towards the scene in front of him. The person wearing his face (but not quite his), the gun his little brother had pointed at their forehead, the way he'd seemed so worried when he'd walked in. "...What the fuck is this?"

[i-like-company]

She'd stare at the copycat with a varying expression, confusion.. Shock. A bit of disgust cause DAYUM the fuck is that haircut? And finally settling on a fearful rage

“Who the hell are you two— why are.. What the FUCK is this why are you in my slaughterhouse— where— Where the HELL is my baby brother—”

She managed to spit out a sentence she reached under her belt for a weapon, knowing well she had nothing but a drill on her, but she was hoping bluffing was enough.

“I swear to God above and below if you hurt MayMay—”

She threatened— she didn't know what she'd do — but by God if Maynard.. If he was hurt? She'd kill everyone in this damn room if they had anything to do with it— maybe not kill them for a week, maybe. But God—

Her hand kept shaking—and the fear was bad enough to damn near make her cry, throw up, maybe both.

“oh fucck— what the fuck—"

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Okay, everyone just– Just shut the fuck up for a minute!" Zed barks. Then, he turns to Maynard. "May, get your ass over here. An' put your fucking gun away, you're goin' to get someone fucking shot."

Maynard grumbles under his breath, tucking his pistol back in its holster as he skulks over to his brother.

With complete disregard for their unexpected visitor's fear and rage, they have an aside – they can be heard talking quietly to each other.

This a Spy? one brother asks. Don't really believe so, the other replies.

Hey, remember what Dell told us? When we smacked our heads? His whole 'interdimensional travel' theory?

What, you think this is that?

Could be. If we can go there, then why couldn't someone else come here? Sides that, pa never really talked about how them teleporters worked when he left us the blueprints.

They glance towards her occasionally as they talk about her like she's not even there. At one point, Maynard makes a suggestion that Zed apparently doesn't take kindly to, earning him a smack upside the head. He grunts, saying, "It was just an idea!"

"Stupid ass idea, it was." Zed sighs heavily, pulling off his hardhat and running a hand through his hair. "Look, I reckon we've seen all kinds of...of weird shit. If there's more'n one Dell, then why's more than one o' one of us any weirder?"

Maynard sighs in resignation. "Reckon you've got a point."

"Uh, yeah, of course I have a point, dumbass. You was born seven minutes after me, not fucking yesterday. Use that hollowed-out head a' yours."

Sure would be nice if anybody would let Zed 2.0 over here in on the secret.

[i-like-company]

Tw for this one: Vomit.

┈┈┈┈┈┈

She stared at the two in bewilderment— mind and mood still reeling at whatever the fuck happened, her questions weren't a swered yet, and she was still (literally) worried sick for her Brother

“M— answer me— you assholes where the hheeell—"

The rest of her sentence was cut off by a gag, and she covered up her mouth before managing a few steps to the side, retching and puking behind a dispenser.

She coughed and wiped her mouth after emptying her stomach— spitting at the ground before walking back to where she was standing.

“ffh.. Ah.. As. I was sayin— where.. The hell is my brother-? And why.. Are you in my slaughterhouse..? And You—"

She pointed a finger at The other Zed

“Why in Hell's Bells do you look like a rip off o' me?”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

Both of them turn to watch, with varied levels of disgust, as this not-doppelganger – Zedan, though they were unaware that that was her full name – promptly ejects whatever she'd last consumed off behind a dispenser.

"I ain't cleanin' that up," Zed states plainly.

"Fuck. You."

Zed scoffs, turning his full attention towards his interdimensional double. "First of all, I ain't a rip-off. If anything, you're a rip-off of me, considerin' this is OUR slaughterhouse you're in, not your own. Second, I reckon YOUR brother is probably back wherever the hell YOU left him last. Third, if you're anything like me – so far, I ain't convinced of that – then you're either gonna call us batshit crazy when we tell you about interdimensional travel, or you're gonna hear it an' go, 'yep, that's about right', and I really don't want to have to deal with guessin' which one it's gonna be."

Okay. Way to let her down easy, Zed.

[i-like-company]

She took a good long moment before sighing audibly, leaning against the wall and reaching in her pocket to get her lighter flicking it on and off repetitively.

“what this is is me needing a damn smoke.. Or another drink”

She stared over at the teleporter, then the other two.

“.. Teleporter was always a bit Finnicky after the fire huh? Damn blueprint got burnt to a Crisp.. Was a pain in the ass to remake without Dell..”

Flick. Click. Flick. Click. Flick. She kept lighting the damn thing on and of. It was definitely betraying the sheer anxiety she had— hell. All she wanted was to get her little brother some damn drinks, maybe apologize for being a asshole the night before or some— wait..

“.. Fuuucck Wren is gonna be so worried..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Fuck, there we go, some coherent fuckin' conversation," Zed says, sighing heavily. "I'd say gettin' here was like pullin' teeth, but I've pulled teeth an' it was a helluvalot easier than this."

He watches her fidget with the lighter for a moment. The flame reflects off his goggles as he puts their blank gaze on it, and after a moment, he scoffs.

"God, that sound's gonna drive me nuts," he muttered. He pulls a smoke out of his pocket, holding it out to Zedan a bit like he didn't particularly want to make direct contact with her. Might cause a paradox or something, who knows. "For everyone's sake, have a fuckin' smoke. I'm goin' insane over here."

Maynard's the first to acknowledge her comments – Fire? Burned? He'd never heard of such a thing.

"What, uh, what d'you mean by fire?" he asks, pretty certain the question's going to earn him an insult. "We didn't have no fire. An' we still got the prints. Little brother keeps 'em in his shop back at his base, but, eh, close enough. An' who the hell..."

As if this couldn't get any weirder, now we're dealing with timeline shit? Good lord.

[i-like-company]

“There wasaa.. Pretty bad fire round the 86th.. Fucking nightmare I tell ya. Some sweet blu bunny boy came. Long our workshop.. 'nd I ended up.. Taking care of him..”

She smirked at the mention of The BLU scout— gorxthat little bastard was probably one of her favourites to mess with, always soo cute with those reactions(as if screaming bloody murder was adorable..) as she grabbed the cigarette lighting it and taking a moment to taste.

“tastes a bit shit. But uh..yea— apparently the kid had a lil medic buddy following along.. Shit happened..Maynie died..uhm—”

She waved her hand around as she tried to leave out.. Certain bits and pieces... (Like the time you pulled a drill out as if it was a gun?. Yea. Dumbass. Idiot)

"wee.. Uh.. Lost.. The entire slaughterhouse until RED gave us an' Old teufort.. Had to rebuild from scratch kinda... The.. Respawn. Uh—”

She took another long drag from the cigarette for a moment. Eyes. Downcast as she thought for a long few seconds.

“Respawn got even more fucked up. Especially ever since Dell had— uh.. Got.. ‘promoted’..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

(Sorry if this is text heavy I have NO idea how to start this off so? Teleporter glitch!)

< @i-like-company

ahh yes, another bland day in the slaughterhouse.. Theres no birds risking their lives by chirping, no annoying sounds (other than Maynard) and a teleporter.. Finally, A decent day! Besides those 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎 anons of course. in all honesty, the only major.. Bad thing? that teleporter tha wasacting up— turning off and on— off and on GOD! THAT sound was so repetitive— well that was until a bigger problem had came from the teleporter...

“Damn things always actin up..”

the New— (very possible) threat glares down at what she presumed to be her brothers work— kicking the side of the teleporter a few times with a scoff.

“MAYNARD! yer bullshit ‘handywork’ is actin' up again!”

∘₊✧───────────✧₊∘

ooc // never fear. You will see soon that I do not gaf about ""text heavy"" things lmao

Maynard had been sitting at his piano, plucking at keys and trying to find something that sounded good when he heard the teleporter whirr in the other room.

He spared a glance towards the clock – it was about time for his obnoxious fucking brother to pop back in from his trip to god-knows-where. He didn't offer any sort of greeting, at least not until a yell from the other room made him jump, his hand jerking and sending a loud, discordant chord through the room.

"Oh, for God's sake," he muttered. He'd just fixed the fucking thing! What more could that asshole possibly want? As he stood, he said under his breath, "Why don'tcha jus' fix it yourself, you prick?", making his way into the other room, scooping a wrench up off a nearby table.

"The hell's wrong with the piece of shit, now?" he asks as he enters.

And then, he stops short. There was something...off, he could feel it, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. It was like staring at some sort of uncanny valley variant of his brother. His first instinct was to hover his hand at his hip, ready to grab the pistol from his holster and carry out justice with extreme prejudice. But then, a more sensible part of him said, maybe you're just tired, maybe you drank too much, and so he didn't, keeping the wrench clutched in his hand.

"The hell's going on now?" he asked, keeping his distance from this odd, uncanny-valley stranger. "You out here fuckin' with me?"

@i-like-company

[i-like-company]

Zed stared back herself, her expression betraying the clear discomfort she felt internally, hell, did She drink too much? Or did May decide to fuck himself over and give himself a new look?

“.. The hell did you do? You look worse than ya normally do... Jesus, did I drink to much this time? ergh— whateva‘ the teleporter fucked up again..”

She flicked some hair out of the way of her face and taking off her hard hat , holding out a pack of beer with one hand.. Giving it. To him.

“Tssh— just.. Here. Take the beer you wanted, I'm dealing with either a headache, Withdrawal, an upcoming hangover, or all three.”

She leaned backwards some— God. That teleport fucking HURT for some reason? Maybe residual energy? Electricity? Fuck, who knows. She muttered some..↓

“I need another drink.. Or maybe smoke.. Both.. Mmnh— both sounds good..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

Maynard held the pack in his free hand, staring at it like he'd just been handed a live explosive, or perhaps some sort of bioweapon. He set it down on the floor, clearly sketched out by this whole thing.

Because, okay, no, there was definitely something weird here. First of all, Zed would never actually willingly give him something, let alone a pack of beer. Second of all...

"You're missin' that godawful mullet of yours."

That's what you notice first? Of all the details here, the mullet (or lack thereof) is what you lock onto? ...God, maybe he really is a dumbass.

It was true, though. His brother had this downright devious haircut that would make ol' Fred Conagher turn in his grave (or wherever it was he actually was, on account of the fact that the brothers were pretty sure he wasn't actually dead). Maynard always insisted that it was horrible – seriously, a shitty mullet and the hairline of a 40 year old? Pick a struggle. – and Zed always insisted that it 'looked fine' and gave him 'character', staunchly refusing to modify it.

Hypothesis? This was a really shitty Spy. There were other options, sure, but that was the one that was least liable to get him committed.

And Spies don't belong here. Maynard drops his wrench to the ground, pulling his pistol out at aiming it at this...intruder. "What the hell have you done with my big brother, you damn sneak?"

Talk about taking this conversation from 0 to 100. Why can't any of these damn people just talk normally without bringing a gun into the mix?

And yet, it's only going to get worse.

[i-like-company]

She stared at the gun for a fee long seconds, trying to fight back a smile that was threatening to form on her lips

“Alright Dumbass, take a damn breath and sit down, you high on some shit or got a concussion? Ive never had a damn mullet except for back when—.. Hahh, never mind..”

they propped a hand on their hip, goggles giving a loud tick in the tense silence before giggling— not able to stop some laughter from bubbling up as they flicked a spare lighter on and off.

“And quit Pointin' that damn gun at me like I can't Respawn.”

Flick, flick. On, off. Flick. On. Flick. Off. She kept playing with the lighter for a few seconds before finally putting it back in her jackets pocket—putting both hands on her hip as he actually took a moment to stare at this.. Uncanny version of her twin brother.

“Did ya' loose weight?”

.. Thats the first thing ya notice too Zed? Really? Wowww I'm disappointed narrator number 2.. Theres a PLETHORA of other things she could point out but his weight is the first thing..

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Please. My brother'd never let go of that shitty ass hairstyle. Pretty sure he keeps it to spite me." His finger twitches where it rests on the trigger, like he's just waiting for a reason to pull it. "And as if. I ain't puttin' this piece down until you tell me what the hell's goin' on here. Keep fuckin' with me, we'll sure find out if you can respawn."

He doesn't move, still aiming his pistol at this...this not-Zed's forehead. He cocks his head.

"Gotta hand it to ya," he says, grinning in that way he does when he's about to turn someone into swiss cheese, "you got the insultin' me to my face down pat. If you weren't wearin' such a shitty disguise, I mighta thought you really were my brother."

As he talks, he quickly shifts the gun into his left hand, shaking out his right like it weren't the hand he were used to holding a gun in. Not only that, but the gun's noticably steadier in his left hand, almost like that were his dominant rather than his right. This multiverse shit's kind of wild, isn't it?

Somewhere down the hall, a door slams – it catches Maynard's attention briefly, prompting him to glance just slightly towards the source of the sound.

"Shit, you're stupider'n I thought. Didn't even bother puttin' down the guy you're tryin' to fake? You stay right there, spook, we're gonna figure out what to do wit' you real quick."

[i-like-company]

She'd stare at this man like he grew. A. Second head— honestly I think she'd be more surprise If that didn't happen with the way this day is going.

“The fuck? Callin me a dumbass? A damn spy? The hell.”

Okay SOMETHING has to be going on here. That hand? The goggles, the way he stands— it was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. All of it.. Hell ,Now she's really starting to see it..

“Youre not—.. Maynard”

She couldn't stop the panic that came through her voice— that same panic that she felt years ago on that Halloween night— when she knew. Her brother was dead. Did she loose him? Again? Was he going to even be able to Come back? Would he be held captive by that damn ghost in the respawn or— or—

“What.. did you do.. To My baby brother—"

[slaughterhousebrothers]

The absolute audacity. It made Maynard sick, the way this– this copy played victim, acted like he was the one in the wrong here. This filthy sneak had done God knows what to his big brother, and now she was treating him like the monster here? Like he was the impostor?

"Don't you dare talk at me about hurtin' people, you two-faced sonuvabitch," he snapped. He tried to hide the way his voice wavered as he continued, "You better hope my brother's okay, or I'm gonna crack that skull of yours open with my bare hands and watch its insides spill onto this floor."

His hand shook as he clutched the gun.

"I've got half a mind to lay you out right here 'n' now, you basta–"

"Hey, dumbass! The fuck's all the noise in here? You talkin' to the wall again, you fuckin' drunk?"

Maynard's head snaps towards the voice that emerges from the doorway, and he lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Oh, thank the Lord, brother, you're alright–"

Zed, his Zed, cocked his head, baring his teeth around a cigarette in a confused approximation of a smile as he asked, "You watched me fuckin' leave, of course I–" He stopped mid-sentence, gaze drifting towards the scene in front of him. The person wearing his face (but not quite his), the gun his little brother had pointed at their forehead, the way he'd seemed so worried when he'd walked in. "...What the fuck is this?"

[i-like-company]

She'd stare at the copycat with a varying expression, confusion.. Shock. A bit of disgust cause DAYUM the fuck is that haircut? And finally settling on a fearful rage

“Who the hell are you two— why are.. What the FUCK is this why are you in my slaughterhouse— where— Where the HELL is my baby brother—”

She managed to spit out a sentence she reached under her belt for a weapon, knowing well she had nothing but a drill on her, but she was hoping bluffing was enough.

“I swear to God above and below if you hurt MayMay—”

She threatened— she didn't know what she'd do — but by God if Maynard.. If he was hurt? She'd kill everyone in this damn room if they had anything to do with it— maybe not kill them for a week, maybe. But God—

Her hand kept shaking—and the fear was bad enough to damn near make her cry, throw up, maybe both.

“oh fucck— what the fuck—"

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Okay, everyone just– Just shut the fuck up for a minute!" Zed barks. Then, he turns to Maynard. "May, get your ass over here. An' put your fucking gun away, you're goin' to get someone fucking shot."

Maynard grumbles under his breath, tucking his pistol back in its holster as he skulks over to his brother.

With complete disregard for their unexpected visitor's fear and rage, they have an aside – they can be heard talking quietly to each other.

This a Spy? one brother asks. Don't really believe so, the other replies.

Hey, remember what Dell told us? When we smacked our heads? His whole 'interdimensional travel' theory?

What, you think this is that?

Could be. If we can go there, then why couldn't someone else come here? Sides that, pa never really talked about how them teleporters worked when he left us the blueprints.

They glance towards her occasionally as they talk about her like she's not even there. At one point, Maynard makes a suggestion that Zed apparently doesn't take kindly to, earning him a smack upside the head. He grunts, saying, "It was just an idea!"

"Stupid ass idea, it was." Zed sighs heavily, pulling off his hardhat and running a hand through his hair. "Look, I reckon we've seen all kinds of...of weird shit. If there's more'n one Dell, then why's more than one o' one of us any weirder?"

Maynard sighs in resignation. "Reckon you've got a point."

"Uh, yeah, of course I have a point, dumbass. You was born seven minutes after me, not fucking yesterday. Use that hollowed-out head a' yours."

Sure would be nice if anybody would let Zed 2.0 over here in on the secret.

[i-like-company]

Tw for this one: Vomit.

┈┈┈┈┈┈

She stared at the two in bewilderment— mind and mood still reeling at whatever the fuck happened, her questions weren't a swered yet, and she was still (literally) worried sick for her Brother

“M— answer me— you assholes where the hheeell—"

The rest of her sentence was cut off by a gag, and she covered up her mouth before managing a few steps to the side, retching and puking behind a dispenser.

She coughed and wiped her mouth after emptying her stomach— spitting at the ground before walking back to where she was standing.

“ffh.. Ah.. As. I was sayin— where.. The hell is my brother-? And why.. Are you in my slaughterhouse..? And You—"

She pointed a finger at The other Zed

“Why in Hell's Bells do you look like a rip off o' me?”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

Both of them turn to watch, with varied levels of disgust, as this not-doppelganger – Zedan, though they were unaware that that was her full name – promptly ejects whatever she'd last consumed off behind a dispenser.

"I ain't cleanin' that up," Zed states plainly.

"Fuck. You."

Zed scoffs, turning his full attention towards his interdimensional double. "First of all, I ain't a rip-off. If anything, you're a rip-off of me, considerin' this is OUR slaughterhouse you're in, not your own. Second, I reckon YOUR brother is probably back wherever the hell YOU left him last. Third, if you're anything like me – so far, I ain't convinced of that – then you're either gonna call us batshit crazy when we tell you about interdimensional travel, or you're gonna hear it an' go, 'yep, that's about right', and I really don't want to have to deal with guessin' which one it's gonna be."

Okay. Way to let her down easy, Zed.

[i-like-company]

She took a good long moment before sighing audibly, leaning against the wall and reaching in her pocket to get her lighter flicking it on and off repetitively.

“what this is is me needing a damn smoke.. Or another drink”

She stared over at the teleporter, then the other two.

“.. Teleporter was always a bit Finnicky after the fire huh? Damn blueprint got burnt to a Crisp.. Was a pain in the ass to remake without Dell..”

Flick. Click. Flick. Click. Flick. She kept lighting the damn thing on and of. It was definitely betraying the sheer anxiety she had— hell. All she wanted was to get her little brother some damn drinks, maybe apologize for being a asshole the night before or some— wait..

“.. Fuuucck Wren is gonna be so worried..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

(Sorry if this is text heavy I have NO idea how to start this off so? Teleporter glitch!)

< @i-like-company

ahh yes, another bland day in the slaughterhouse.. Theres no birds risking their lives by chirping, no annoying sounds (other than Maynard) and a teleporter.. Finally, A decent day! Besides those 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎 anons of course. in all honesty, the only major.. Bad thing? that teleporter tha wasacting up— turning off and on— off and on GOD! THAT sound was so repetitive— well that was until a bigger problem had came from the teleporter...

“Damn things always actin up..”

the New— (very possible) threat glares down at what she presumed to be her brothers work— kicking the side of the teleporter a few times with a scoff.

“MAYNARD! yer bullshit ‘handywork’ is actin' up again!”

∘₊✧───────────✧₊∘

ooc // never fear. You will see soon that I do not gaf about ""text heavy"" things lmao

Maynard had been sitting at his piano, plucking at keys and trying to find something that sounded good when he heard the teleporter whirr in the other room.

He spared a glance towards the clock – it was about time for his obnoxious fucking brother to pop back in from his trip to god-knows-where. He didn't offer any sort of greeting, at least not until a yell from the other room made him jump, his hand jerking and sending a loud, discordant chord through the room.

"Oh, for God's sake," he muttered. He'd just fixed the fucking thing! What more could that asshole possibly want? As he stood, he said under his breath, "Why don'tcha jus' fix it yourself, you prick?", making his way into the other room, scooping a wrench up off a nearby table.

"The hell's wrong with the piece of shit, now?" he asks as he enters.

And then, he stops short. There was something...off, he could feel it, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. It was like staring at some sort of uncanny valley variant of his brother. His first instinct was to hover his hand at his hip, ready to grab the pistol from his holster and carry out justice with extreme prejudice. But then, a more sensible part of him said, maybe you're just tired, maybe you drank too much, and so he didn't, keeping the wrench clutched in his hand.

"The hell's going on now?" he asked, keeping his distance from this odd, uncanny-valley stranger. "You out here fuckin' with me?"

@i-like-company

[i-like-company]

Zed stared back herself, her expression betraying the clear discomfort she felt internally, hell, did She drink too much? Or did May decide to fuck himself over and give himself a new look?

“.. The hell did you do? You look worse than ya normally do... Jesus, did I drink to much this time? ergh— whateva‘ the teleporter fucked up again..”

She flicked some hair out of the way of her face and taking off her hard hat , holding out a pack of beer with one hand.. Giving it. To him.

“Tssh— just.. Here. Take the beer you wanted, I'm dealing with either a headache, Withdrawal, an upcoming hangover, or all three.”

She leaned backwards some— God. That teleport fucking HURT for some reason? Maybe residual energy? Electricity? Fuck, who knows. She muttered some..↓

“I need another drink.. Or maybe smoke.. Both.. Mmnh— both sounds good..”

[slaughterhousebrothers]

Maynard held the pack in his free hand, staring at it like he'd just been handed a live explosive, or perhaps some sort of bioweapon. He set it down on the floor, clearly sketched out by this whole thing.

Because, okay, no, there was definitely something weird here. First of all, Zed would never actually willingly give him something, let alone a pack of beer. Second of all...

"You're missin' that godawful mullet of yours."

That's what you notice first? Of all the details here, the mullet (or lack thereof) is what you lock onto? ...God, maybe he really is a dumbass.

It was true, though. His brother had this downright devious haircut that would make ol' Fred Conagher turn in his grave (or wherever it was he actually was, on account of the fact that the brothers were pretty sure he wasn't actually dead). Maynard always insisted that it was horrible – seriously, a shitty mullet and the hairline of a 40 year old? Pick a struggle. – and Zed always insisted that it 'looked fine' and gave him 'character', staunchly refusing to modify it.

Hypothesis? This was a really shitty Spy. There were other options, sure, but that was the one that was least liable to get him committed.

And Spies don't belong here. Maynard drops his wrench to the ground, pulling his pistol out at aiming it at this...intruder. "What the hell have you done with my big brother, you damn sneak?"

Talk about taking this conversation from 0 to 100. Why can't any of these damn people just talk normally without bringing a gun into the mix?

And yet, it's only going to get worse.

[i-like-company]

She stared at the gun for a fee long seconds, trying to fight back a smile that was threatening to form on her lips

“Alright Dumbass, take a damn breath and sit down, you high on some shit or got a concussion? Ive never had a damn mullet except for back when—.. Hahh, never mind..”

they propped a hand on their hip, goggles giving a loud tick in the tense silence before giggling— not able to stop some laughter from bubbling up as they flicked a spare lighter on and off.

“And quit Pointin' that damn gun at me like I can't Respawn.”

Flick, flick. On, off. Flick. On. Flick. Off. She kept playing with the lighter for a few seconds before finally putting it back in her jackets pocket—putting both hands on her hip as he actually took a moment to stare at this.. Uncanny version of her twin brother.

“Did ya' loose weight?”

.. Thats the first thing ya notice too Zed? Really? Wowww I'm disappointed narrator number 2.. Theres a PLETHORA of other things she could point out but his weight is the first thing..

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Please. My brother'd never let go of that shitty ass hairstyle. Pretty sure he keeps it to spite me." His finger twitches where it rests on the trigger, like he's just waiting for a reason to pull it. "And as if. I ain't puttin' this piece down until you tell me what the hell's goin' on here. Keep fuckin' with me, we'll sure find out if you can respawn."

He doesn't move, still aiming his pistol at this...this not-Zed's forehead. He cocks his head.

"Gotta hand it to ya," he says, grinning in that way he does when he's about to turn someone into swiss cheese, "you got the insultin' me to my face down pat. If you weren't wearin' such a shitty disguise, I mighta thought you really were my brother."

As he talks, he quickly shifts the gun into his left hand, shaking out his right like it weren't the hand he were used to holding a gun in. Not only that, but the gun's noticably steadier in his left hand, almost like that were his dominant rather than his right. This multiverse shit's kind of wild, isn't it?

Somewhere down the hall, a door slams – it catches Maynard's attention briefly, prompting him to glance just slightly towards the source of the sound.

"Shit, you're stupider'n I thought. Didn't even bother puttin' down the guy you're tryin' to fake? You stay right there, spook, we're gonna figure out what to do wit' you real quick."

[i-like-company]

She'd stare at this man like he grew. A. Second head— honestly I think she'd be more surprise If that didn't happen with the way this day is going.

“The fuck? Callin me a dumbass? A damn spy? The hell.”

Okay SOMETHING has to be going on here. That hand? The goggles, the way he stands— it was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. All of it.. Hell ,Now she's really starting to see it..

“Youre not—.. Maynard”

She couldn't stop the panic that came through her voice— that same panic that she felt years ago on that Halloween night— when she knew. Her brother was dead. Did she loose him? Again? Was he going to even be able to Come back? Would he be held captive by that damn ghost in the respawn or— or—

“What.. did you do.. To My baby brother—"

[slaughterhousebrothers]

The absolute audacity. It made Maynard sick, the way this– this copy played victim, acted like he was the one in the wrong here. This filthy sneak had done God knows what to his big brother, and now she was treating him like the monster here? Like he was the impostor?

"Don't you dare talk at me about hurtin' people, you two-faced sonuvabitch," he snapped. He tried to hide the way his voice wavered as he continued, "You better hope my brother's okay, or I'm gonna crack that skull of yours open with my bare hands and watch its insides spill onto this floor."

His hand shook as he clutched the gun.

"I've got half a mind to lay you out right here 'n' now, you basta–"

"Hey, dumbass! The fuck's all the noise in here? You talkin' to the wall again, you fuckin' drunk?"

Maynard's head snaps towards the voice that emerges from the doorway, and he lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Oh, thank the Lord, brother, you're alright–"

Zed, his Zed, cocked his head, baring his teeth around a cigarette in a confused approximation of a smile as he asked, "You watched me fuckin' leave, of course I–" He stopped mid-sentence, gaze drifting towards the scene in front of him. The person wearing his face (but not quite his), the gun his little brother had pointed at their forehead, the way he'd seemed so worried when he'd walked in. "...What the fuck is this?"

[i-like-company]

She'd stare at the copycat with a varying expression, confusion.. Shock. A bit of disgust cause DAYUM the fuck is that haircut? And finally settling on a fearful rage

“Who the hell are you two— why are.. What the FUCK is this why are you in my slaughterhouse— where— Where the HELL is my baby brother—”

She managed to spit out a sentence she reached under her belt for a weapon, knowing well she had nothing but a drill on her, but she was hoping bluffing was enough.

“I swear to God above and below if you hurt MayMay—”

She threatened— she didn't know what she'd do — but by God if Maynard.. If he was hurt? She'd kill everyone in this damn room if they had anything to do with it— maybe not kill them for a week, maybe. But God—

Her hand kept shaking—and the fear was bad enough to damn near make her cry, throw up, maybe both.

“oh fucck— what the fuck—"

[slaughterhousebrothers]

"Okay, everyone just– Just shut the fuck up for a minute!" Zed barks. Then, he turns to Maynard. "May, get your ass over here. An' put your fucking gun away, you're goin' to get someone fucking shot."

Maynard grumbles under his breath, tucking his pistol back in its holster as he skulks over to his brother.

With complete disregard for their unexpected visitor's fear and rage, they have an aside – they can be heard talking quietly to each other.

This a Spy? one brother asks. Don't really believe so, the other replies.

Hey, remember what Dell told us? When we smacked our heads? His whole 'interdimensional travel' theory?

What, you think this is that?

Could be. If we can go there, then why couldn't someone else come here? Sides that, pa never really talked about how them teleporters worked when he left us the blueprints.

They glance towards her occasionally as they talk about her like she's not even there. At one point, Maynard makes a suggestion that Zed apparently doesn't take kindly to, earning him a smack upside the head. He grunts, saying, "It was just an idea!"

"Stupid ass idea, it was." Zed sighs heavily, pulling off his hardhat and running a hand through his hair. "Look, I reckon we've seen all kinds of...of weird shit. If there's more'n one Dell, then why's more than one o' one of us any weirder?"

Maynard sighs in resignation. "Reckon you've got a point."

"Uh, yeah, of course I have a point, dumbass. You was born seven minutes after me, not fucking yesterday. Use that hollowed-out head a' yours."

Sure would be nice if anybody would let Zed 2.0 over here in on the secret.

[i-like-company]

Tw for this one: Vomit.

┈┈┈┈┈┈

She stared at the two in bewilderment— mind and mood still reeling at whatever the fuck happened, her questions weren't a swered yet, and she was still (literally) worried sick for her Brother

“M— answer me— you assholes where the hheeell—"

The rest of her sentence was cut off by a gag, and she covered up her mouth before managing a few steps to the side, retching and puking behind a dispenser.

She coughed and wiped her mouth after emptying her stomach— spitting at the ground before walking back to where she was standing.

“ffh.. Ah.. As. I was sayin— where.. The hell is my brother-? And why.. Are you in my slaughterhouse..? And You—"

She pointed a finger at The other Zed

“Why in Hell's Bells do you look like a rip off o' me?”