I wish I was one of those trans people who turned their life around when they transitioned. Got into shape, ate better, got a good job and a nice place to live at. Found happiness in living. But I’ve just lost all of it, even though I have a job, I have an apartment, I have transitioned both physically and socially.
It took me a while to realize that transitioning won’t fix ALL of your problems. I’m way happier in the body I’ve got now than I was 6 years ago. But life feels so fucking exhausting and pointless. It’s so difficult to keep on living when you’re not living for yourself and only living for everyone else.
I want a lot of things, I want to get into shape, I want to study, I want to draw, make music. But I have no desire to do any of it. I currently have 2 therapists that I’m talking to but I feel so t I r e d. I’m trying to get better, and I really hope that talking to my therapists will help. But I’m so tired of trying.
I won’t do anything because I’m too much of a coward to, but it seems like such a nice solution.
Like I have been off from work for two weeks now, it’s my semester, I asked for three weeks off. And what have I done during these two weeks? Absolutely fucking nothing. I’ve got one week left and then I’m back to working 11h shifts 5 days a week. I’m so fucking fed up with everything. I hate my job, I hate my living situation and I hate life in general. Ive applied for cheaper apartments but haven’t gotten an ok or whatever. I’ve applied for other jobs but gotten no answers. I’m just so. Fuckign. Tired.
jacobvanloon
baratheonpilled
ellievsbear
izzy806
