I'm like if you ordered one-time-i-dreamt from wish

He/Him | Adult | American PFP from Reddit (I forgot where I found it and I'm lazy), banner by Hayden Clay An incredibly rare cishet male tumblr user. Long time lurker + r/Tumblr user + Strange Aeons watcher, recent account-maker. Autism/ADHD/Synesthesia haver and lucid dreamer. In case you couldn't tell, I post my dreams on here.

[i-post-my-dreams]

Obligatory pinned post

Hey. I'm a random Tumblr user who posts his dreams and reblogs stuff he finds funny/interesting. I avoid political/current events discourse and hornyposting like the plague so I don't reblog anything along those lines. The majority of my blog is just silly stuff mixed with the shitposts that my subconscious comes up with.

[tubbutch]

ummmm but what if building nukes is how i process trauma #mentalhealth #mynukes

[i-post-my-dreams]

(going Gleep Glorp mode) ough I'm going Gleep Glorp mode

[i-post-my-dreams]

I lived in a universe where everyone's pee and poop holes were switched. People shat strings of poop out of their urethras and pissed out of their butts.

[i-post-my-dreams]

I watched the movie I Saw The TV Glow, but the two lead actors were replaced by IShowSpeed and Benjamin Netanyahu. Then, to be allowed to publish a review of it, I had to skydive off of a mountain and into a river "to prove I wouldn't take fall damage like in Minecraft".

[i-post-my-dreams]

I will eventually post more dreams but they have mostly been nightmares lately and I don't want to share my deepest fears online

[thekidsfromyestergay]

This was on a post about how it's ignorant and privileged to wear headphones in public and I fear its already become a part of my vocabulary. Must everything harbor a moral failure.

[chzdavmpr]

If Xavier Renegade Angel was in Iron Lung

Ava: Your mission is simple. Go to the mark coordinates and take the pictures.

Xavier, inexplicably with a camera around his neck: I would but my disposable chamera is running a little low on film, buster so I need to stop up and stalk up instead of filibuster

Ava: I knew we should have just executed you

------------------------------

Ava, after getting hot with fatal amounts of radiation: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE!?!

Xavier: Well I tried to tell you to say cheese but your grilled cheese got spoiled by your sour attitude and now look where you are, a sad cram cheese cheese cancer cake- extra toasty!

------------------------------

Letter: "-they will have their execution. But I will have my freedom."

Xavier: Whoever wrote this capitol D leDDer must have been a real free-dum-dum. Everyone knows you can't free be if you're dead as a door snail. He's so dumb I wished I could've killed him myself, really knock his handle right off his shell.

------------------------------

Xavier (sees the eel): My what a lovely face you have, so many dozens of beautiful eyestremities across your horrifying fåce. Swimming in all this liquified strawberry man jam must do wonders on the skin (dabs a little blood on his cheeks)

------------------------------

(climax of the movie)

Xavier: Gotta save the black box, but my submarine's turning into a sub-me-rine. [joke about how Xavier can't find the black box because he doesn't see race that makes you remember this is a 2007 Adult Swim show] Now I just gotta get it to the surface! (grabs the chunk of human flesh he drew a face on and has been carrying around the whole episode) This is your final mission, lamb chunk, get this to those C-O-Itemizers, and tell that lady with this scar I died in a noble self snackrifice in a reverse sushi situation, I could tell she was really into me (note: at this point Ava died not too long ago, but Xavier forgot)(he then inflates the flesh chunk like a balloon and ties it to the black box.

[evilwizard]

as any good writer will tell you, there are 7 basic types of story:

rags to riches

man vs man

man vs bee

voyage to meat world

coughing baby vs hydrogen bomb

amateur pornography

evangelion

[i-post-my-dreams]

Ancient Mesopotamian OneyPlays

Zâ-Khadel, the foolish bard: Hey Tomar, what would you do if your beloved consort Jaksi was devoured by the great and terrible beast Humbaba?

Tomar-Ea, the strong and forthright blacksmith: I don't know, I guess I'd be sad? I'd probably be pretty upset?

Krisonnîl, the mischievous and loutish gambler: Dammit, every time I roll these knucklebones, they come up with the symbols of a meager and woeful harvest!

Zâ-Khadel, a mischievous grin upon his face: Yeah, these dice fucking suck. (Shifting into an impression of the oafish and greedy king, Dôn-Aldum Trumpazid) These knucklebones, these knucklebones are really awful, I tell you what, no knucklebones have ever been worse than these--

[monstercollection]

Today, almost three centuries after Melville wrote that you could no longer see whales from the shores of Nantucket, I sat on a beach just 80 miles from that island and watched a humpback whale breach the surface.

It’s such a common sight now that my mother-in-law was surprised that in all my years of coming here (and the few where I lived here) I hadn’t seen it before.

There is something so hopeful and remarkable about that.

Edit: I extremely bad at math, it was almost 200 years. In my defense I’d just hiked 5 miles to the beach and was very tired! I was also an English Major, we don’t do math!

[plaguedocboi]

Nature really went off with sperm whales. A 70-ton predator with teeth the size of a banana but it only eats squishy prey that it doesn’t even chew, it just schlorps them down whole like a vacuum cleaner. Big giant fat head full of goop. Tiniest fins in the world. Strong enough to smash a ship to pieces and smart enough to figure out how to do so but its first line of defense is just to shit everywhere. Possibly the most complex language in the animal kingdom and it creates sounds by blowing air through its internal right nostril (it uses the left one to breathe) into its giant fat head. It’s the loudest animal on the planet and might have the capability to create a beam of sound so loud it can shake your organs apart but they don’t seem to use that to hunt or fight. They’re highly flammable. We used them to make candles.

[i-post-my-dreams]

"What about Ace Attorney: Pet Detective"- My friend just now

[i-post-my-dreams]

From the same friend, just now, over a year later:

"Country Roads Take Me Home? By that guy Mariah Carey?"

[dreadwedge]

A cookie is just… so amazing

[dreadwedge]

You shouldn’t be allowed to go on your phone until you’ve been awake for at least 5 minutes

[dreadwedge]

Texted my ex this

[i-post-my-dreams]

I looked up at the moon one night, and it had been replaced by a cyst. When I went online, I saw that the moon was now a subscription service, and you had to pay for the subscription if you wanted to see the moon instead of a cyst. You could make the moon look different by paying for different subscription tiers.

[tonyzaret]

Ok people looks like I have to say this again: Game of Thrones is NOT REALITY Star Wars is NOT REALITY GHOSTBUSTERS IS reality Walking Dead (Seasons 1-3): REALITY Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, James Bond, Frankenstein: NOT SURE

[i-post-my-dreams]

Someone made a parody of Oh Lord by Foxy Shazam that went "Sydney Sweeney, it's a hungry world" and edited it over an image of Sydney Sweeney and a news headline about someone pooping in school pools in New York.