R

Blog i put my "prude" and "gross" opinions on, depends on the person. Anons off because the community has a harrassment problem but I will crop out names if asked, I also don't have the mental energy to have long discussions so don't expect me to spend my time arguing online. No DNI except for antis. Radqueers, transid and paraphiles deserve respect and autonomy, but this doesn't mean I support everything the radqueer ideology stands for. I'm here because I and some people I love dearly were traumatized in the radqueer community and I want to speak up for them & many others who went through the same experience. I will respect and treat you like your identity. Open to constructive criticism and civil discussions but I don't owe anyone my time.

[dark--friction]

why have pride in something that would be rape if acted on in real life no matter what? like, gay adults can very much sexually consent. children and animals do not have the understanding to. I understand neutrality, but saying you're proud for fantasizing about rape sure is a choice

Well, I'm proud of surviving. I'm proud of my self control. I'm proud I don't hurt people or animals. I'm proud I understand consent better than some non-paraphiles who treat children and animals like property. I'm proud of the art I make. I'm proud of the ways I've found to express myself that are healthy and don't harm other people. I'm proud of my compassion for other paraphiles. I'm proud of weathering the immense shame, disgust, stigma, and guilt that comes with being a paraphile. I'm proud to be me. In the same way I am proud to have personality disorders, I am proud to be a paraphile. In the same way I love psychotic pride flags, I love anti-contact paraphile pride/awareness flags. In the same way I mourn my queer siblings lost to suicide and violence, I mourn my paraphile siblings. I'm proud to be an anti-contact, non-offending paraphile. I will not perform shame or self-hatred for you. I deserve better. We all do. I am proud of surviving. I am proud of who I am. You cannot and will not take that away from me. So you can fuck off, anon. Would you say this to a kinkster? Would you say this to someone with intrusive thoughts? Would you say this to someone with homicidal ideation? I bet you wouldn't, because you are a nasty little hypocrite with a narrow mind. Open your heart.

[psychotic-gerard]

i have understood so many things about online leftist culture by the fact that when i said "your local community has people you will morally and politically disagree with but you cannot lock them out of accessing any tangible service you’re organising" one of the tags responding said "this isn’t about proshippers in here you’re not welcome" like. folks. focus with me. some of us are homeless here.

[orchidvioletindigo]

There's a disconnect happening here because the primary function of social media for most casual users is to form a circle of friends around the usual things that friendships are built on: shared interests and lifestyles and ideas of what is important and what is unacceptable. When people are mainly doing leftism on social media, this encourages thinking of leftism as centered around establishing high-minded social clubs.

For anyone who still isn't getting it from someone who helps people IRL: There's a difference between whom you're helping to feed at the mealshare and whom you're choosing to hang out with for fun after the mealshare. You don't have to invite a hungry person with opinions you don't like to play board games with you, but you do have to help keep them from starving if you're serious about leftist organizing.

[trials-era-sam]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr reply with username blocked out reading: *volunteering at the soup kitchen, holding a bowl hesitantly to my chest* what do you think about age gaps in ships /End ID]

[i-talk-shit-here]

I hate that in this age and time people still recommend chemical castration as a "solution" for paraphilias when it's well known that it just doesn't work. And worst of all, historically the roots of the practice goes back to eugenics. Fucking eugenics.

Chemical castration lowers your libido down! It doesn't make your attraction go away and it doesn't solve the root of the problem: violence! If you can't stop yourself from hurting people, it's a YOU problem, your attraction or disorder doesn't get up and do it on your behalf.

Not to mention most successful data for chemical castration comes from recovering offenders who actively choose to change. The practice suddenly doesn't make them a good person, they choose to recover and be different.

People don't need hormones to attack someone and being chemically castrated doesn't mean they're "safe" now. You're just repeating the idea that people can't control themselves when they're aroused, which is watering down the actions of a perpetrator. It's victim blaming at best! Please, at least put on some surface level research before recommending such things to others.

[cosmicjolteon]

okay but like

why do people make flags and communities for other disorders and shit but then think paraphiles sjouldnt have flags or communities (yeah ik nondisordered paras exist too)

"well flags and communities generally mean pride and what is there for a paraphile to be proud of anyways?"

fighting against stigma, self-love and survival despite it all, overcoming people's expectations and becoming so much more than just a "ticking time bomb", finding nonabusive outlets for thoughts, finding comfort and solidarity in each other, and for young paraphiles just discovering themselves and the incredible strength they have to be able to do so, etc

it really boils down to surviving despite being in a world that really seems to want anything but

shit, isnt that the point of basically every other kind of pride symbol?

[anthropologistfromentropy]

A letter to myself and my fellow MAPs

I`m sorry you are treated so cruelly, called a monster and dehumanized even by people who say they love you. Because they simply dont know, could never imagine you are one of them. Those others "who should be locked away, who are all evil".

But that`s not true, you are not evil. You are a beautiful, empathetic being, and your feelings and thoughts dont change it. Thoughts dont cause harm unless acted on, and you have never and will never do it.

I`m sorry you have deeply hated and been disgusted of yourself because of those messages. I am sorry you been deeply hurt, invisible, scared of being seen for so long. But not a day more. You deserve to be treated as a human being as much as everyone else.

You’ve had a rough time so far haven’t you? Stuck with an attraction you never asked for. I want you to take a moment of silence for the pain you’ve felt because of this. You’ve lived with a lot of stress from the fear and secrecy that no one around you could ever understand truly. It’s okay for you to take a moment to mourn that time lost in your life that you might’ve otherwise enjoyed.

During that silence, did you hear it? Your heart beating triumphantly in your chest? That means you won and are still winning. Hold on to that heartbeat. Your anguish is valid and real but so is moving on and living without it. You’re allowed to move past the shame. You’re allowed to live without this being a burden to you.

(Originally posted in 2016 on my old blog, but I’m not sure if it was written by me or not?)

[i-talk-shit-here]

"Consensual contact" is a meaningless term that tells me nothing about you because contact already implies a party that is unable to consent or isn't consenting.

People are blurring the meaning of what contact meant in the first place. Contact always meant sexually or romantically seeking an individual that can't/isn't consenting. It doesn't extend to your identities, it doesn't include transage individuals, alterhumans and system alter IDs.

"Contact stance" doesn't include consenting people who have the mental maturity, decision making skills and chronological age of an adult human. No matter their identity.

If you feel drawn to any contact stance that isn't anti-contact, you're either very uneducated on the real meaning of contact or you're taking advantage of the people who don't know the real meaning of these words. And most people don't want to play a guessing game to figure out which one you are, of course they will assume you're the latter.

[psychotic-gerard]

i have understood so many things about online leftist culture by the fact that when i said "your local community has people you will morally and politically disagree with but you cannot lock them out of accessing any tangible service you’re organising" one of the tags responding said "this isn’t about proshippers in here you’re not welcome" like. folks. focus with me. some of us are homeless here.

[orchidvioletindigo]

There's a disconnect happening here because the primary function of social media for most casual users is to form a circle of friends around the usual things that friendships are built on: shared interests and lifestyles and ideas of what is important and what is unacceptable. When people are mainly doing leftism on social media, this encourages thinking of leftism as centered around establishing high-minded social clubs.

For anyone who still isn't getting it from someone who helps people IRL: There's a difference between whom you're helping to feed at the mealshare and whom you're choosing to hang out with for fun after the mealshare. You don't have to invite a hungry person with opinions you don't like to play board games with you, but you do have to help keep them from starving if you're serious about leftist organizing.

[trials-era-sam]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr reply with username blocked out reading: *volunteering at the soup kitchen, holding a bowl hesitantly to my chest* what do you think about age gaps in ships /End ID]

[i-talk-shit-here]

"I don't support the radqueer ideology because they support taboo fiction, transids and paraphilias" ❌

"I don't support the radqueer ideology because their ideology is inherently built on supporting/accepting people of all contact stances and the community blurs the lines of consent, contact and harm so much that it hurts the people participating in it." ✅

[i-talk-shit-here]

˳ᬏ‎̼̮͡۰‎̼̮ཌ‎̼͈𓈒 i& love you for talking shit, please never stop<3

Haha thank you <3 This is mostly a blog for me to scream my thoughts into the void but i definitely have a few long posts written by me in my drafts as well

[kogumaneko-0x0freakshow]

If you support paraphillia do you support pedophillia? I just kinda think that’s weird since your friends with multiple minors

-👾

we'd never allow anyone to hurt our packmates, do not dare to insinuate that.

when we say "support" that never means we think it's ethical to engage in sexual activity with someone who cannot or does not consent. it means we don't tolerate the harrassment, violence, and forced medical treatment paraphiles go through because people deem them inherently evil and needing of correction.

having pedophilia does not mean someone will act on it, or assault another person. what arouses someone is not something that they can control, nor is it something to be treated and "fixed" if it does not pose a risk to themself or others.

actions can be controlled, though, and actually have the potential to do harm, whereas thoughts and attractions do not. we support pedophilia, but never child sexual abuse. those are not the same things, and we wish people would understand that by now. we don't support abuse of any kind. pedophiles are not abusers.

what we mean by support is that we'll never villify or shame someone for having an attraction they can't control. it means we support them engaging in their attraction in non-harmful ways, such as through roleplay with consenting adults. it means that we won't ever tell them that having pedophilia is inherently disordered, and that should "seek help" for it. it means that even for people who have pedophilic disorder, we support them getting treatment through cognitive-behavourial therapy and not fucking conversion therapy. it means we support their right to safety, choice, and self-expression. they deserve that just as much as anyone else does.

we are an ally to all paraphililes, no exceptions.

thank you for the question, anon ^^ if this wasn't enough clarification and you're still confused about anything, feel free to send us another ask. (we literally just woke up, we're sorry if something doesn't make sense. we eepy)

[parapride]

yall stop arguing with paramisics that start off their arguments with "all people with this paraphilia should kill themselves"

theyre not gonna read your sources.

just assume anyone who believes in capital punishment is a threat to paraphiles and likely people with other marginalized mental illnesses.

[papercranesandpride]

I remember years ago, long enough ago that I was still using either Tiktok or Instagram regularly, because that's where I saw this, long enough ago that unfortunately I do not remember the username, I saw an older trans woman responding to a comment asking "how come we see trans women from your generation, but never trans men?" And her response was simple. "Unfortunately, it's because most of them are dead." Between lack of safe and legal abortions (which, hey, look what's an issue again), the HIV/AIDs crisis (which still is lacking in approved treatments for trans men, and they're still likely to be denied PrEP/PEP even when they should be eligible as sexually active queer men), and how many of them chose to take their own lives after being forced into marriages and other women's roles, a lot of the trans men that should be elderly right now did not make it.

And now, when I find myself making the mistake of going on Instagram, I get to see trans men themselves talking about how historically, trans men didn't do anything for the community, and so we need to step up now. Which, first of all, that isn't true, but second of all, if trans men's contributions are lesser, that makes a lot of sense if we listen to that trans woman talking about the trans men she was in community with back in the day. It's very hard to advance the trans cause if you're not alive.

Anyway. It's a really chilling answer. "Where are all the elderly trans men?" "They're dead." And I just wish more people saw that tiktok and listened to it and really took it to heart, now that we're in the age of "well obviously trans men have it so much easier."

[this-is-trans-joy]

You can’t call yourself a leftist if you hate children tbh, like you can choose not to have them or be around them, but outright hating the most marginalised group of people in the world who have absolutely no power or control over the most basic parts of their lives and bodies is a dangerous mentality to have and you need to grow the fuck up and get out of your edgy phase and start treating everyone around you like human beings, even the ones that piss you off.

[this-is-trans-joy]

Like the older I get, the more empathy I have for children. Imagine living on this planet for less than a decade and having to figure out every single thing from scratch, only for the people around you to treat you like a living doll and constantly invalidate your feelings because you haven’t learned how to express them beyond screaming at the top of your lungs, like you’d be having meltdowns in the grocery store as well. The least you can do is offer them some grace, everything is so fucking confusing and scary and overwhelming and they’re not able to communicate that properly and no one around them is explaining shit, and they are constantly at the mercy of whether or not the terrifyingly giant adults around them CHOOSE to be kind like genuinely put yourself in the situation of a child and tell me you wouldn’t also be freaking the fuck out.

The way society treats children is borderline inhumane, and you have the audacity to call them hellspawn crotch-goblins for screaming a little bit too loud or daring to be in the same vicinity as you.

[this-is-trans-joy]

I do also believe that hating children is a sign of underlying ableism, because most of the justifications of hating children comes down to “they’re annoying” or “they don’t know how to act” or “they’re gross” and if you are unable to treat people who lack social skills, who make loud or repetitive noises, who are incontinent etc. with basic respect and dignity, then what’s the difference between hating children and hating disabled adults that share the traits you find so irritating?

[ex-radqueer-confessions]

I hate how a lot of anti radqueers and now "radnormals" too are violently anti para, antiship, anti endo, anti transID, etc. because they're just pushing people further into the radqueer 'community'.

Imagine you're a paraphile who joined the radqueer 'community' because you felt like nobody else would accept you, and then when you start looking into leaving you see so much paramisia, death threats, rape threats, demonization, etc. from anti radqueers. Would that not push you further into the "nobody else would accept me" mindset??

Imagine you're a darkshipper who joined the radqueer 'community' because you felt like no other community would accept you, and then you start looking into leaving and it's all "proshippers are pedos" "proshippers should kts" "proshippers deserve their trauma" "proshippers should be arrested" "proshippers can't be trusted around children and animals". Would that not push you further into the "only radqueers accept me" mindset??

Imagine you're a nontraumagenic system trying to leave the radqueer 'community', or you developed OSDD/DID-like symptoms trying to 'transition' like we did with NPD, or you're just a strongly pro-endo traumagenic system, but when you try looking into leaving, so much in the anti radqueer tags is posted by anti-endos and anti-willos if not specifically tagged as anti-endo?? Would that not push you further into the "all antis are hateful bigots who can't even handle endos" mindset?? I think that would be especially bad for systems with OSDD/DID-like symptoms from trying to 'transition' because then they wouldn't even have a garuantee that specifically pro-endo spaces would accept them.

Imagine you have atypical dysphoria and use transIDs to cope with it and you're considering leaving the radqueer 'community', but when you start looking into anti radqueer spaces it's filled with "transID DNI", directly tying transIDs to radqueers by phrasing things like "radqueer/transID", and people saying things like "dear transautistics, remember that you're allistic and you'll never be autistic and if you fully want to be while knowing it's a serious disability and not all fun and games then you should kys" and "Oh you're transID?? You should be transsuicidal next"?? Would that not push you further into the "nobody but radqueers will ever understand/accept my atypical dysphoria" mindset?? Like I'm transID complex myself, I don't really like the prefix trans being used for it and tying it to transgender, I don't like the appropriation of terms like transracial and transspecies, I don't believe you can transition to a mental disorder or race or ethnicity or intersex condition, I'm very anti transharmed/transharmful. But atypical dysphoria still deserves to be taken seriously!! Going out of your way to make people with atypical dysphoria feel dysphoric because of the 'community' they've fallen into trying to cope with it is asshole behavior (and in some cases, like if the person has BIID, then it's just straight up ableism). I know from personal experience that it can be hard to let go of transIDs that felt important to you when you were radqueer.

I'm just gonna take this opportunity to say, since I used transautistics as an example and I'm 'cis'austistic, people who have atypical dysphoria about not having autism are valid, it's okay to be dysphoric, hell it's even okay to use fidget toys or noise canceling headphones and use terms like desirautistic if it makes you happy, you don't need to be radqueer to have your experiences validated and to get some dysphoria relief.

I actually have a theory that pressure from the radqueer 'community' to use transIDs and MUDs and developing new paraphilias because of the radqueer 'community' and aggressive behavior from antis is somewhat intentional?? Even if just subconsciously. It's strange how much untagged graphic smut and encouraging people to use (more) transIDs and use transIDs for any reason and transID transition tips there are. It certainly makes it harder to leave. Also the sheer number of radqueer BAH blogs that come with harmful transIDs and paraphilias built in?? The sheer amount of transplurals and transDID and transOSDD generally?? The sheer number of 'cis'systems in the radqueer 'community'?? It almost feels like they want you to split headmates to drag you back into the radqueer 'community' again.

[unspeakableasks]

this isn't part of any of your ongoing themes but I feel like tossing this thought out into the void anyway, but I think even on a basic level it's weird to give a shit that someone might be a pedophile. If they're potentially a danger to kids (as in you have real reason to believe they might take steps to do something bad) then that is a separate argument. And we could argue about the whole 'most offenders aren't even attracted to kids but it's about power' thing and whatnot but I think that's a moot point. And if they're crossing a line anywhere else by seeking out CSAM or something that's obviously a no-go. But let's say for the sake of argument that someone is looking up SFM porn of characters from a semi-realistic video game like The Last Of Us or whatever and it is genuinely because they are aroused by real physical children... who fucking cares???

I mean I do *understand* it from both the kneejerk reaction and also the position of "i need you to be afraid of these people so that I can sell you on the idea that you need to give me your photo ID to log onto your computer" but like... think about it for two seconds. Even if you're someone out there boiling with rage that I dared to suggest that someone with an uncomfortable attraction might not be an ontologically evil human being, what do you suggest that person does? Is it 'just don't cross any lines'? Cool that's pretty reasonable. Is it 'chemically castrate yourself because you make me uncomfortable [be honest]' that's unreasonable and you know it. I also genuinely think less kids would be getting abused if someone being a pedophile was treated with the same weight as like, an anger problem or alcoholism but that's beyond the scope of what I feel like talking to myself about in here. also something something "there's some pedophiles i'd trust around kids before most antis"

[ex-radqueer-confessions]

Sending me death threats because I said radqueers who want to leave, or are trying to leave are welcome here, is the exact reason they are welcome here and the exact reason I started this blog.

Next time, before you go off the rails: draft a response, go to bed/take a nap, take a drink of water, get something to eat, read your draft, and then ask yourself if its really worth it. Do you really, truly, honestly think that death threats would make anybody change their mind? Or are you just angry and don't know how to vent your frustrations?

That being said, to my followers (and lurkers), do not ever worry about me shutting down my blog due to hate. I am an adult with much better things to do than take a random individuals insults to heart.

[i-talk-shit-here]

It's always "we need less radqueers!" until you realize they're not talking about reaching out to the radqueers and giving them a safe space to get out of there, instead they're talking about killing them.

(Very fascist-leaning belief, also. Let's not kill anyone, okay? Do i have to remind you that murder is wrong??)

People like this disgust me. You don't actually care about helping people and victims. You just want to have a specific kind of person you can bully, harrass, and attack without consequences to feel better about yourself. You don't care about victims, you're just a violent person and hunt for a target you can justify attacking. If you actually cared about helping people and erasing the damage radqueer community has done, you wouldn't have a problem with spaces that open themselves to radqueers to help them.

[semiplural]

Pathos

Plural Catch-22: the path to happiness is lined with people who will call you fake for trying to walk it.

Fuck them. Walk it anyway.

Image ID in alt text and under the cut.

Image one: Red, drawn repeatedly in boxes where she experiences intense suffering: "Why am I more palatable to the Average Joe if I paint myself crying and (censored) and suffering and dying a thousand times over than if I draw my system smiling?"

Part of the system is drawn smiling: Red, Hawthorne, and Gwen.

Image two: "It's pathologization, of course." A drawing of Red as the Vitruvian Man, wings and tail and broken halo extended, head duplicated. Figure one: the broken must suffer to be broken in a way that matters. Figure two: if you're not suffering, then I can ignore you. Figure three: if you're weird and happy, then you're a lying, cheating bitch who deserves to be hung in the public square.

"If you're not normal, then you're suffering." "If you're not suffering, then you're normal. Get with the program and stop pretending you're strange."

Image three: Red, sitting curled up and turned away, broken halo and a devil's tail. "I hate it. I hate that most of the Western, colonized world sees my existence as inherently awful. I hate that my existence is still something to cure. I hate that a system broadcasting their trauma is treated as more real than one broadcasting their joy."

[crimsoncorona]

See, what bothers me is the double standard of it all. We're sick if we're multiple and miserable. We're liars if we're multiple and happy. We were never multiple at all if we fuse, and people will take every chance they get to prove we were faking it in the first place. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't, and double-damned if you try something else.

What does anyone want from us? For us to shut up and disappear so you can call us fake again? For us to drag ourselves over hot coals until we're in enough pain to satisfy you? For us to wring out every drop of our trauma history for your entertainment, just so you can discard us the second you have a different opinion about anything at all?

The plural community's not exempt from this issue. You know which systems get reblogged the most? Which systems get their words taken as Expert Advice? Who gets heard, who gets thought of, who gets boosted? Have you ever noticed that some systems are palatable and others aren't, and that people regularly throw the unpalatable systems in harm's way to justify their own reality as "one of the good ones?"

Do you really think Western medicine thinks any of us are "the good ones?" There are no good madmen, only quiet ones.