#ex radqueer

[we-talk-shit-here]

"I don't support the radqueer ideology because they support taboo fiction, transids and paraphilias" ❌

"I don't support the radqueer ideology because their ideology is inherently built on accepting people of all contact stances and the community blurs the lines of consent, contact and harm so much that it hurts the people participating in it." ✅

[plural-this-user-is]

"This Users past does not define them" + "This User is a recovering radqueer"

and the collective alternatives:

free to use by everyone, with or without credit. do not debate me on this.

[narcpolar]

Anyway ily ex radqueers and I’m proud you got better

[ex-radqueer-confessions]

Now introducing (drum-roll please)

Respectqueer!

[PT: Respectqueer! :End PT]

Respect queer is very similar to peacequeer and purequeer. It is a radqueer-lite anti-radqueer or critical-radqueer label. It is coined with ex-radqueers in mind, but is not exclusive to ex-radqueers, anyone can use it.

The flag represents sunrise, because as stated above it is coined with ex-radqueers in mind, ones who are rising and healing. Most blankqueer terms have an emoji combo, so this would be 🌅🤍.

Respectqueer is:

[Pt: Respectqueer is :End PT]

Understanding that the radqueer community causes harm.

Respecting all identities whether they seem cringe, weird, gross, or harmful.

Looking into labels that may seem harmful and forming opinions on that rather than gut-reactions.

Calling out groomers, abusers, predators, harassers, and bullies in an informative manner.

Not causing unnecessary drama, being inflammatory, or spreading misinformation.

Understanding that both demonizing and idealizing disorders and cultures is harmful.

Being against nonconsensual contact and abuse.

Respecting that harm can be consensual but there are groups that cannot consent. Chronominors (with the exception to close in age chronoteenagers), theriform animals, the unconscious (without prior consent), and grooming victims.

Understanding that abusers are not one-dimensional evil characters, they are deserving of punishment and help.

Punishment does not include eye for an eye treatment. Which means no death, abuse, solitary confinement, or dehumanizing tactics.

[alterpathy]

Alterpathy: The practice of identifying, categorizing, and identifying with fictional and imagined illnesses due to a disconnect between your external and internal understanding of yourself - while also not intending to appropriate, romanticize, or cause harm to a minority group.

this is going to be a really long post because i want to cover all the basics. future coinings will not be nearly as long.

identifying, categorizing, and identifying with: making flags, coining terms, and posting about your experience. alterpathic conditions can also be divided into a couple of categories, which are detailed later in the post.

disconnect between your external and internal understanding of yourself: for some reason, even though you're aware that this isn't how conditions that affect the body work, you experience a reoccurring condition that is serious to you. this can be because of atypical dysphoria, delusions, alternate beliefs, delusions, or anything else similar.

appropriation, romanticism, causing harm: this doesn't mean that actions you take are automatically excused of harm, but it's a silent agreement and nodding between yourself and others that you're not trying to come from a place of ableism/bigotry.

ignoring/excusing bigotry: examples of ignoring/excusing bigotry would be implying that someone can "coin" a real mental illness/other condition in the same way you can coin a gender, implying you can "transition" into a congenital condition with subliminal videos or otherwise, and anything else that goes against science's understanding of illness and neurodivergence. there's nuance to this, of course, because the psychology field isn't an absolutely perfect field that can do no wrong - it's up to the person coining/the person identifying to look at the situation and act accordingly.

examples of situations that might bring you to identify this way:

being a fictive/kin/introject/etc of a character who had a disease or type of injury that was invented for their media, like zombie diseases, cyberbrain cclerosis, the cutie pox, hanahaki disease, etc, and feeling affected by it in any way

experiencing something in your system's headspace that's like a reoccurring illness

having limbs like wings, tails, horns, etc in your headspace with some kind of damage to them that causes you phantom discomfort

feeling anxiety/frustration because you're experiencing something on a metaphysical level which you know your physical body isn't experiencing, but it's still very serious to you and possibly even hurting your quality of life

grammar:

alterpathy: 1) the practice of naming/making flags/categorizing these, "here's my mogai blog and here's my alterpathy blog"; 2) this kind of condition. "my depression and my alterpathy make it hard for me," "i might have an alterpathy but i'm not sure"

alterpathic: descriptor that describes these conditions. "it's alterpathic," "how to cope with alterpathic..."

inspiration and some context on why we're coining this

this was largely inspired by the r*dqueer term of x*nomalady, because after the system looked into it, we did see a lot of cases of people who were genuinely experiencing something serious, but didn't seem to think that there was any space other than the rqc that would be accepting of someone identifying with a disease that technically didn't exist. these cases were mixed in with genuinely ableist people who displayed the behaviors i listed above in "ignoring/excusing bigotry," which feels wrong to me, and i think that people who aren't intending to harm anyone deserve their own terminology and space.

crossover

there is some crossover with dissodic, desirdae, intusui, ethix +etc good faith terms related to feeling like you have, internally have, desire, or identify with something you technically don't, and i think that's fine. you can identify with an alterpathic term and the equivalent of it in another term umbrella, that's fine. do whatever fits best to describe your experiences.

so, is this just x*nomalady but Good?

not exactly, i don't want this to be thought of as a 1-to-1 anti rq equivalent, because again, some x*nomalady people are just coining """disorders""" for fun because they think you can do that in the same way you would a gender. this is both an identity/experience, and a silent agreement to be critical of what you're putting out into the world. this is also not focused on "coining" new conditions unless that's really necessary. (not necessary = making up a new illness for funsies. necessary = putting a name to a reoccuring condition you've been experiencing in headspace, etc.)

in the same way that terms like dissomei and intusui aren't 1-to-1 tr*nsid but Good and are separate term umbrellas that have their own nuances and notes, this is a good-faith alternative for people genuinely experiencing this kind of thing.

can i coin my own?

yes, this is open to everyone to coin! though, i will be posting a couple of flags for some alterpathic things in a couple of days, so you might want to wait until those come out so you can see how i format the post.

TDLR: considering yourself to have a condition that's not possible in reality because of some internal identity, but not in a fashion where you ignore/excuse bigotry.

can i post this term on…

wiki/term definition sites: yes, and you don't have to ask, but i would like to be informed.

pinterest/other social medias: no, never, i'm not comfortable with someone else posting my term for me.

subtypes:

when a different self began working on this, he set out two subtypes of alterpathic condition. unlike something like the age ratings in nichelink, these are absolutely optional, and you don't have to include these in your term definition if you don't want to/don't find it useful. but i think that if you're like me and like lots of details, these could be appealing, so i will include what he wrote:

Fiction-based. This is aimed at conditions that are established some way in a work of fiction/media, such as:Hanahaki Disease Slender Sickness Radiation Sickness (as seen in the Fallout series, not the IRL version) Environment-Based. Specific conditions that you can recognize are happening because of things already in your environment, like trauma, alterhuman labels, existing neurodivergent symptoms and so on. As an example, I'll mention the specific thing one of the alters in my system has that inspired me to make this subtype. He is a fictive of an angel character, but from my perspective it is vary obvious that his wings don't work and cause him muscle cramps in our headspace as a metaphor for an injury we had when were a child that gave us severe muscle cramps and required extremely painful and traumatizing physical therapy. That's something that was in our environment, so I'd call it environment-based. Subtypes are an optional category though, and you might not be able to decide/understand if yours fits into one or both, and that's fine. Also, I acknowledge that just two subtypes might not be enough to cover all the bases, and also there are probably tons of conditions that fall into both or inbetween, and that's fine. I want to "cross that bridge as we come to it", and let people who identify with this tell me their thoughts about what other words need to be coined.

flag inspiration rambles

this flag went through a lot of design phases. it was originally much more inspired by the general disability flag, because we imagined that most of the appeal would be to people who are actually disabled (mentally ill people, etc). the final flag became more inspired by existing terms for people who experience a disconnect between themself and their conditions. i saw many examples of shades of purple and pink, scalloped stripes/rounded shapes, and specifically these flags were the biggest inspirations:

dissocogni and dissophysi by @/acetrappolaswife (deactivated)

desirsick/desirill by @shrubmogai

other stuff

tags: @antiradqueerguy | @radiomogai | @archive-of-form | @everythingarchive | @mad-pride maybe? | @plurality-faq | @anti-rq-gumi | @doomsd8ydevice // ask to be untagged

"would (thing) fit this?" ask, there's tons of room for discussion and nuance.

this post was written mostly by nichie.

flag template:

hanahaki disease example:

nonfunctional angel wings example:

[nichelink]

nichelink: a newly coined niche relationship/relationship dynamic that differs from social norms, but is consensual and aware of potential risks.

differ from the norm: this is flexible and vague on purpose. see the ‘examples’ section.

probably niche: niche, probably not many people will identify as this, it’s just now been invented and posted on tumblr dot com, but it’s still a valid want and identity label.

aware of potential risks: this is inspired by the kink phrase Risk-aware consensual kink or risk-accepted consensual kink (RACK), and it means that everyone in the relationship is silently nodding and acknowledging there might be risks. you don’t have to prove yourself to others on this, don’t feel expected to tell everyone your personal business on how you’re managing this risk, because it’s not their relationship…

consensual: this is inspired by the kink phrase Consensual non-consent. basically it means that everyone in the relationship agreed to have the relationship play out a certain way, and the relationship may play out (maybe in a sort of roleplay-like fashion) like it’s non consensual, but everyone in the relationship is both expecting this to happen and still has the ultimate say on if things need to 100% stop or if it’s time for them to leave the relationship.

newly coined: i want to make it clear that existing relationship dynamics shouldn’t be shoved into this label because that feels disrespectful to those existing words, so essentially this means that existing words for it didn’t 100% describe this dynamic, so you can’t just say xyz thing is actually this term. (however, if you find one of these describes something you've already been doing for years, it's perfectly fine to start identifying with this of course.)

examples:

relationship where one person is treated as if they are an object owned by the other/s in the relationship

relationship where one person is treated as if they are a deity, and the other/s in the relationship are their followers

relationship where one person is treated as if they are a pet owned by the other/s in the relationship

relationship where one person is treated as if they are a child adopted by the other/s in the relationship

relationship where one person is transforming the other/s in the relationship into something

labels under this umbrella have a Ratings System.

All-Ages: a label that is suitable for all ages.

16+: a label that would be best if it was only used by people 16 years or older (bodily). this doesn’t mean that it’s NSFW or something, but should be used when the term has something pretty intense or serious about it which probably shouldn’t be practiced with younger people. all terms under this umbrella that involve identity modification or training are inherently 16+.

18+: a label that is inherently not suitable for people under 18 years (bodily).

grammar:

nichelinking: the state of being in this kind of relationship with someone else. “we’re nichelinking,” “we might start nichelinking”

nichelink: 1) the specific terms themself. “i coined a nichelink,” “definition: an all-ages nichelink where you…” 2) the relationship itself. “our nichelink,” “his last nichelink”

nichelinker: someone who participates in nichelinking.

there is currently no word for having a nichelink-related crush on someone, suggestions welcome.

inspirations

neurowiry

relationship anarchy

roleplay

found family tropes

desirdae

dissomei

my own personal experience of becoming someone’s “dad” - i made a friend in high school who i came out as transgender too, and then as a joke based on how people in the undertale fandom called toriel “mom,” we began referring to me as my friend’s “dad.” this joke stuck and then started genuinely being a serious part of our friendship. reflecting on this made me realize that there’s actually lots of relationships in life that’re similar, where you refer to each other as something unusual and it feels like it changes the entire status of your friendship. i liked the idea of making a word someone can use for this kind of friendship/relationship if they wanted.

i did a lot of writing about what this term means and can be used for and it ended up being long so you can read it on this page. (updated 1/10) here are some of the faq questions (but not all, so please read that page):

is this a k*nk thing?

no, it’s not intended to be. there are plenty of nichelink terms usable by anyone at any age. however if you’re an adult and you find a term appealing and start to use it because of k*nk things, more power to you, go right ahead.

is this anti r*dqueer?

i don’t find it makes sense to say that something that isn’t a stance term/blankqueer term is anti this or pro that. but this term was inspired by r*dqueer “consensual abuse” relationships, and i did start working on this because i saw that there were a lot of people who craved a specific relationship dynamic or way of being treated who felt like they couldn’t get that outside of the r*dqueer community, so i wanted to make a risk-aware and safer alternative that is not attached to a harmful community known for abuse, transphobia, racism, etc.

if you crave being treated a certain way, yes even in a “harmed” way, this term is welcome to you.

can i coin my own?

not yet. i’m still working out the kinks (🥁✨) on definitions and guidelines. i also have a big list of terms i’d like to coin for it. you can send me a request at least.

can i post this term on…

wiki/term definition sites: yes, and you don't have to ask, but i would like to be informed.

pinterest/other social medias: no, never, i'm not comfortable with someone else posting my term for me. go ahead.

tags: @antiradqueerguy | @radiomogai | @the-silent-fellowship | @harmlesspersonalidentityarchive | @beyond-mogai-pride-flags | @desirdae-archive | @dissodic-archive | @kiruliom | @anti-rq-gumi | @antiradqueerguy | @neopronouns // ask to be untagged

general flag for all All-Ages nichelinks:

general flag for all 16+ rated nichelinks:

[mxntallyill]

ok, ever since I left the community, i noticed how whiny the radqueer community is becoming because why are people arguing about harmful Id's I thought everyone had a truce about that back in 2022 what the hell.