I Am A Bibliophile

Definition of a bibliophile: bib·li·o·phile /ˈbiblēəˌfīl/ Noun: A person who collects or has a great love of books. Hello, I am a bibliophile. ● These are the (mostly mundane) musings of a twenty something year old English major. ● I'm in a serious relationship with coffee and books. ● Keen observer of the human condition. ● Budding book hoarder, technology addict, worshipper of fiction, dreamer, lover and a fighter, believer of all things right and fair, and a bit neurotic. About Me Journal

[iamabibliophile]

Would you describe yourself as submissive?

What? Who wants to know?

[iamabibliophile]

An Open Letter to Two People I Know

Part I I’m jealous and I hate it. I hate it even more that you can probably tell. I feel so petty and worthless and am tired of making excuses for shutting down on you and her. But I can’t help it. I’ve never felt this way before. I feel betrayed by her and you…I don’t know how to feel about you. One day I feel comfortable and safe and the next I feel rejected and like the biggest annoyance in your life. Which is it? I’ll be fine if it’s one or the other. Not that I don’t care how you feel about me, I just know I have to move on if it’s the latter. But I do see the way you talk about her and the way you tease her. I must sound so pathetic.

Part II Why do you do it? I trusted you enough to tell you how he made me feel. Did you not see the smile spread across my face when I talked about him? Do you not notice how I bring him up in almost every conversation? You’re shameless and I’m starting to see it now. I want to tell you - no scream at you - to stop acting the way you do. It hurts. It hurts that you do it in front of me. You like the attention they give you, but from him? Why him? Why specifically him? It hurts a lot. I would never do that. I respect you enough to not hurt your feelings. I guess we’re just not as close as I thought we were.

[d--r--a]

[shoegaze-babe]

Home

[iamabibliophile]

I finished and officially ended my undergraduate degree. I have yet to celebrate. This past week has been a mess and I'm back in a cycle where all I want to do is lay in my dark room. It's worse now because class won't get in the way of me sleeping all day. But I'm done. I'm done. I reached a new chapter in my life but it's starting off as a repeat of previous chapters. My friends are not making this better. They're all selfish and I've reached a culmination where I don't care about them anymore. They are not my friends. All they care about is themselves. I cannot wait until my lease is up and I can move away. Far away.

[death-by-elocution]

[iamabibliophile]

I’m a hopeful person, despite of that the majority of the posts here state.

I hope I do get better.

I hope my friends don’t think I’m boring.

I hope I can prove to my parents that I can reach my goals

I hope I start reading again and get out of this reading funk.

I hope I get to meet my favorite band members when I see them this month.

I hope that dream with that boy in my Spanish class comes true.

I hope my sister likes the birthday gift I’ve already ordered for her.

I hope my sisters are happy.

I hope my best friend is as happy to see me and I am him when he returns from his trip.

I hope I can relax soon.

I hope to find love one day.

I hope I find the courage to cut my hair how I truly want it.

I hope I’m able to stay in touch with my favorite professors.

And lastly, I hope Jon Snow never dies.

[langste-deactivated20150222]

Yelena Bryksenkova

[plannedparenthood]

To those who fight for women’s rights and the human rights of all: thank you. 

[registro-fotografico]

[falling-inlove-with-books]

[iamabibliophile]

John,

Your message made me feel bad and it was probably not intentional. You’re a complete stranger and I feel like I’ve failed you. To be honest your letter took a backseat in light of recent events. I’m still reeling from loss and the denial of that loss. Weather has also prevented me from shipping anything out. Rain, ice, then snow made it impossible for me to venture out to deliver your letter, as well as other items. It’s not that we didn’t connect, the timing was just off. Also, the urgency in that last message makes me think that maybe I’m not the right person to talk to. Thank you for leaving a way to maybe connect in the future. I’m not sure if you’ll read this, but I do hope you find what you are looking for.

Again, I’m sorry.

[iamabibliophile]

February 22, 2015

Last week my therapist gave me a worksheet. She wanted me to document everything I did for the week. She's going to be disappointed. I had told her last week that I was feeling great. I was maybe finally feeling better about everything. 

Then this week happened. 

Most of the hourly blocks on the sheet alternate from "Sleeping" to "Nothing." I offered little to no explanation. 0 for pleasure and 0 for content. I don't want to talk about it. Not right now. Not with her. 

I haven't done anything. I've slept and cried and slept some more the past few days. 

I want to be away. I want to go away. I want to close the door, turn the light off, and sleep. Everything has me on edge. My roommate isn't helping. God, I want to leave. I want to live by myself and not worry about cleaning up after a mean-spirited, lazy person. I hate that I don't feel at home. I hate that I am scared of talking to her, thinking that she'll get offended at something I didn't mean. 

I haven't had time for anything and I'm not sure I want do anything either. 

[letheane-deactivated20200121]

Sir Frank Dicksee - The two crowns - 1900 (detail)

[iamabibliophile]

Did you have a chance to send a letter? I sent you my address the other day.

I received your address and am working on a letter! I will be mailing it tomorrow or maybe Monday.

[iamabibliophile]

Your bdays the day after mine!

Nice!

[iamabibliophile]

I saw your post on a pen pal page. I don't really use tumblr so I suppose my question is if I would get a letter or a pipe bomb if I gave you my address? I'll check your page for a response.

You can be 100% sure that you will receive a nice letter.