Purveyor of Fine Cosmic Bussy @throttlegainwell - Tumblr Blog

Director's Commentary Masterpost

I've now talked so much about my posted fics that I have a decent number of director's commentary posts. So I figured I'd make a list for them, since I sometimes make the blog unsearchable, and stick it in my pinned post. I think I probably missed some because I'm bad about remembering to tag, but oh well. This is a good sample.

#throttlegainwell housekeeping #director's commentary #writing tag #we'll see if i ever remember to update this since i'm sure i'll happily talk some more about my work

Hey. Hey, remember that time everyone thought Scott was dead but he actually had amnesia and his son Cable was deeply affected by his loss and never stopped grieving him and he incorporated Scott's visor into his costume when he took over his duties, and then when Scott returned, sans visor and unable to open his eyes, Cable returned his visor to him and just kind of awkwardly wandered off to let him reunite with Jean and then they just, like, never talked about this? As father and son?

Yeah. I still think about that.

#I just. he carried his father's visor with him into battle! he led his father's team! with a piece of him!#scott summers #nathan summers #x men

blorbo-posting

sinensis26

You all need to hear this:

1. You probably dont suck at your craft as much as you think you do, I bet a lot of people are amazed at what you can make, and

2. If you actually are the Literal Worst In The Whole Wide World at your craft... who the fuck cares? What are they gonna do, call the police on you? Keep making your shitty little things, youre the boss of you, fuck the haters.

Last post for the evening, but I leave you with the summary of this unfinished fic I found in my MCU folder.

Steve is a well-known but selective Dom at a kink club. He’s open to most things but reluctant to roleplay as Cap. Finally does, brings the suit from home and no one realizes it’s him. Very private about his life outside the club and especially about his job. Someone from the club meets him as Cap during a crisis and recognizes him, only to realize that they’ve been getting Dommed by Captain America for six months.

#writing tag

Believe it or not, most of the fic I wrote about Steve was not porn. But, anyway, did I ever mention this one I started after Infinity War? The doc title is "gentle dom steve magic healing cock"--lmao--but that's more tongue in cheek than serious. The idea was that he's aware of the effect he has on people and leans into it to be a source of comfort in a very difficult time. And he achieves that mostly through non-sexual BDSM, but, yeah, sometimes with sex. And Nat notices.

*

It had started out like anything else: with a handshake and a kind smile. Steve was good at both of those, and he knew what was needed of him now. The Avengers had failed, but Captain America was still the people’s hero.

The micro-movements always gave them away first. Their muscles would tense, their weight would shift, and there it was—they were leaning into him, and they didn’t even realize it. If his presence was a comfort, it was nothing to the physicality of him. He knew this.

Sometimes a person just needed a warm body, a heartbeat not their own under their fingers, those primal scents that the senses can’t consciously detect but the brain reacts to. Something familiar.

*

“I know about your mission,” Natasha drawled. Her eyes never strayed from the screen array before her. They never really did when she was on duty, which was most of the time.

“I’m retired,” Steve said. That earned him a quirked eyebrow—almost a full glance away from the screens, shockingly—so he amended. “Semi-retired.”

“So your side job, then. Call it whatever you want.”

“And what is it exactly that you wanna ask me, Nat?”

She chewed her lip, agitation coursing through her so visibly that a pang of sadness struck him; used to be that she would’ve hidden that, but she was so fried, so worn thin these days.

“Well, I’m not asking for your services, so you can put a line through that.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

She frowned. “You weren’t even going to offer? Not even for an old friend?”

A frustrated little laugh escaped him. “You won’t be happy with anything I say, will you?”

This would be the moment another person might have apologized, might have reevaluated and backed off.

Natasha huffed, a sharp little breath that didn’t belong.

“Didn’t take you long to settle your nerves,” she said instead.

He could’ve been offended. From anyone else, he might have been. “I’ve been here once before,” he said simply. “For most everyone else, this is new. I’m doing what I can, same as you—no more, no less.”

Natasha locked eyes with him for a long, delicate moment. Then she dropped her forehead to the table and wrapped her arms around the back of her neck.

He approached slowly and pulled out the chair next to her. He didn’t try to touch her, just crossed his arms over his chest, but her body reacted to his presence regardless; her shoulders leaned away, but her foot moved closer, almost brushing his.

A powerful urge to soothe the conflict from her washed over him, but he brushed it aside as easily as he ignored most of his selfish feelings.

#writing tag #i'm a big fan of steve and nat having a strange sexual element to their relationship without any kind of romance #i've probably shared this before i dunno #i had a LOT of ideas post IW and post EG but i don't think i finished very many

throttlegainwell

Honestly, the Steve Rogers well goes deep. If you think I'm annoying about Jonathan Byers, you don't even know the half of it.

throttlegainwell

Also, side note, but: the original purpose of this pseudonym was to post my weird, fucked up HTP porn that I didn't want on my main. The first fic I ever posted under this name was a psychologically fraught but strangely romantic BDSM scene between Bucky and Steve in which Bucky, a stone top, experiences trash party related top drop and Steve safe words out. (Also, there's an anal hook, strap-on sucking, and light, friendly CBT. Just saying.) I was writing fic about Steve for years before that, though I didn't post much of it.

#over the years i stopped caring and now as you can see it's all over the place

Honestly, the Steve Rogers well goes deep. If you think I'm annoying about Jonathan Byers, you don't even know the half of it.

#jonathan is special for different reasons but steve will always have a place in my heart and i can't be normal about him

Still utterly fascinated by the space Steve Rogers occupies in the collective memory and psyche of the nation, btw. The complicated, fraught, contradictory, comforting, challenging legacy. How he feels about it, how aware he is of it, what he does with it. The way it obscures the man beneath, how it's been shaped by political and cultural forces he has no control over, his understanding of these things and the way he navigates that...

There's just so much there.

chrishayley

THE AVENGERS 2012│dir. Joss Whedon

nikaalexandra

trying to explain your otp to other people like

#and they heard each other through the veil! matching scars! they don't even know how to be apart!

Btw, it was only the flimsiest restraint that held me back from making a "Does Steve Rogers eat pussy?" poll, too, after the Jonathan poll. 'cause there's only one right answer. And it's not because he's my fave so I want to believe he's egalitarian, attentive, and enthusiastic in the sack. It's because I refuse to believe that man wouldn't go down. I genuinely think it would be out of character for him to not do it. I can't be persuaded.

#I feel this way about Scott too but that has more to do with his ruthless determination as a team leader and critically low self esteem #it literally wouldn't occur to him not to go down #and he just gets laid SO much #also would Emma go to war for a man who wouldn't eat her out? I think not #anyway I have faves whom I do not think go down or at least aren't anything to write home about #these three just happen to be my exceptions #you know who'd blow them all out of the water though? eleanor from the good place #would anyone be happier pearl diving than her?#anyway cleaning out my drafts so here we are

I know I'm fixated on Joyce and Jonathan's relationship and deeply into Karen and Jonathan and fascinated by the Joyce and Nancy potential, but I'm also very interested in Karen and Nancy's relationship. Because Karen clearly loves her kids and tries to be there for them and look out for them, but she's doing so within a particular social context and hampered by that. Like, she may disapprove of Nancy's choices on moral grounds (and we can guess at her political stances), but it seems more like she's expressing real concerns that reflect valid issues, to some extent. And so she's not that successful. Nancy feels judged, antagonized, and surveilled (and given that we see Karen literally picking Nancy's lock, she's not wrong to feel that way, even if it does come from a place of love).

Additionally, we know that Nancy has observed the circumstances shaping her parents' marriage and the current state of it, and she has found it wanting. Her mother's life is anathema to her. And while I doubt she's outwardly cruel or judgemental toward her mother over this, I would have trouble believing that it doesn't affect their relationship--that Nancy is always able to hide what she thinks and how she feels about her mother's choices, or that Karen doesn't feel judged in turn by her daughter.

Anyway, thinking about those two. Rolling them around. Once again batting around Nancy and Karen shopping for clothes together before school starts and Karen realizing that her daughter is growing up and being kind of terrified about it, sensing a new friction as Nancy comes to the understanding that her mother's life is not something she wants but not the understanding, yet, of how to follow a different path.