I Am A God

Fear me *Call me lint*

[iamagodfearme]

Blood runs deeper than dick.

-Ivy

[iamagodfearme]

It was hot but for some reason my blanket is soft

[iamagodfearme]

Three can keep a secret if two try really, really hard

[iamagodfearme]

If you aren’t sniffing essential oils in the morning did you really drink?

[iamagodfearme]

I am neither a maiden nor a damsel, but I am slightly distressed.

[iamagodfearme]

Don’t be French be a baguettes

[iamagodfearme]

My furry persona is a furby

[iamagodfearme]

LESBIAN

[thesassycat]

You can only reblog this today.

[askjennaflorida]

I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again

[iamagodfearme]

[iamagodfearme]

Movies,movies, movies, movies. . . I am a hermit.

I’m fine

[iamagodfearme]

Two asexuals walk into a gay bar. There’s no punchline, they walk back out.

[iamagodfearme]

I’m gonna munch and I’m gonna crunch.

[iamagodfearme]

Son of a FUCK!! . . . Wait everyone is birthed from a fuck. . .

[iamagodfearme]

“WHY IS THAT ONE RED!!!!!??”

Simultaneously said “ITS A RENTAL”

[iamagodfearme]

Stare them in the eye while you staple the sanatizing wipe.

[iamagodfearme]

Mind you, this conversation takes place on January 12th

Lint: What day is Valentine’s Day?

Fern: February 14

Lint- Is that tomorrow?

Rye- NO IT JULY!!!!!

*laughing to death ensues*