i AM here

[iamheredesigns]

It was time for a new bag for me! This is the #plumeriashoulderbag from @bagstockdesigns I used a low key witchy fabric and even though navy blue is generally not my thing I'm in love with it paired with this iridescent purple leather 😍😍😍 #sewing #bagineer #handmade #bagstockdesigns

[iamheredesigns]

I got dice knit 😍😍 Some for me to make a skirt or leggings I haven't decided, but enough extra to make headbands and hats for to shop! I'm thinking I'm going to do a big headband upload on Saturday, so keep an eye out! Shop link is in my bio. #dice #dnd #dungeonsanddragons #sewing #sewingwithknits #headbands #geeksewing

[iamheredesigns]

More #blackgirlmagic , this time in the form of a #kylieclutch from RLR creations! Made this today, it's already up in the shop! #sewing #handmade #bagineer #alexanderhenry

[iamheredesigns]

I've been knocked out for the last week or so with the plague, so sewing went on hold while I tried not to die. But I have returned with this adorable #jasmineslingbag from @bagstockdesigns ! It's so adorable and comes together great! This will end up in the shop sometime this weekend. #marvel #avengers #bagineer #handmade #sewing

[iamheredesigns]

I am in love with making these little hair clips 😍😍 I'm still building up a collection of designs and I need to figure out packaging/pricing/ect. but these should be making their way to my shop relatively soon.

[iamheredesigns]

So, this has kind of been my life the past couple months. Sorta. I've been trying to figure out how to talk about this and show what I've worked on and what I was planning and all that, but after going through everything I went through, I kinda just lost track of keeping up with things. Again.

The picture in the middle of the second row is obviously me. This is January 9th, the day after my surgery. I am in ICU, totally high on ketamine and a morphine button drip, and that is cough and don't die bear I'm holding. So my surgery was on the 8th. To summarize, the tumor on my pancreas was removed, along with my spleen and my gallbladder. 

You know how I previously said I didn't have cancer? It was sorta cancer. I guess the guy on the phone wanted to give me the simplest answer that wouldn't freak me out. I had what's called a pseudopalpillary [god only knows if I spelled that right] solid pancreatic tumor. This is rare, but it mostly occurs in young women of color. So, me. As my surgeon explained, it is *technically* cancer but it moves so slowly that surgery generally cures it. So, still pretty damn lucky, since I get the survivable form of one of the ugliest cancers out there.

Anyway, back to the actual surgery and stuff. I was in the hospital for a week following my surgery, went home for three days, then back in for five more days because I caught a flu like bug since you know, they removed a part of my immune system and hospitals are germy places blah blah blah. In the end, once I was able to eat and keep everything down and stopped losing weight rapidly [I lost 25 pounds in 2 weeks], they let me go home for real. At this point, my scar has started to actually become scar like, which means glaringly obvious and huge [a foot long vertically down my torso] and I can move with much more ease, a long way from needing help to sit up and a walker to move just from the bed to a chair.

The other pictures are things I worked one before and after surgery. The first is a quilt! My second quilt technically, but my first adult size. I made the top before my surgery, in November and December. I quilted and bound it following my surgery and second release from the hospital. It's based around those polaroid patches I created with some fabric from an old manager at work. It is completely 80's inspired and I love it.

The second are the two pictures in the second row which are of a toiletries bag I made before surgery so I could have things organized at the hospital. I created the pattern myself and bought the fabric online. I plan to make more of these once I iron out the pattern, and I'm thinking of maybe a tutorial? I don't know.

The last things I have pictures of is of two wallets I worked on in the last week or so, finally getting back to work. Edward Scissorhands has a comic now guys! I've worked on some other stuff, and I have about a week before I get hours back at work, so I will attempt to sit down and actually get my act together here. I've got a lot of thoughts to organize.

[iamheredesigns]

I spent my holiday in the hospital and I'm going back

Look, I'm back! It's not with fantastic news though. It's pretty good though, all things considered.

So last week, I went to the hospital. This was Tuesday the 28th. I had some pretty severe abdominal pain, and had since Saturday. The ER ran tests and did an ultrasound. They were pretty sure I had a gallstone, but everyone who pressed on my belly felt something off, so they did a CT scan.

They found a tumor on my pancreas. They called it a mass then, but now it's a tumor.

I was admitted to stay. The next day they did an endoscopy to remove the stone which was blocking a bile duct, and they did a biopsy. I was terrified because well, it's a scary situation. I'm 21 and I've never really had anything wrong with me. Thanksgiving I was on clear liquids only which meant my big meal was jello. This did nothing for my oh so chipper mood. Nor did finding out the mass inside of me is the size of a baseball. Or that I wouldn't find out if I had cancer for at least five days.

I cried a lot. The statistics on tumors on the pancreas not being cancer aren't good. The only thing that was really going right what that I was no longer in pain because apparently a blocked bile duct can really fuck you up.

They let me go home on Sunday, Still no biopsy results. I tire out really easily. Monday they call. I don't have cancer. It can turn into cancer. So not benign, but caught at a good time. I was going to have to have surgery anyway, but now I really have to. I have a consult Monday, and the surgeon says he wanted to fit me in next week if possible. I want it over asap so I'm not spending Christmas in the hospital. Pancreatic surgery is already not a fun one.

So, I'm okay. Sorta. Unbelievably thankful I'm part of a very small percent who don't have cancer as the outcome of something like this. I'm scared for surgery. Scared they'll take this away and it'll come back. Scared I misheard the guy on the phone but I know I didn't. I'm still tiring out really quickly, but I suppose that makes sense. That's pretty much all there is to say. I'm still making stuff. I'm gearing up for a massive reboot to the blog. It'll be something to do when I'm in the hospital I suppose. I love you guys

[iamheredesigns]

Avenue Q time!

[iamheredesigns]

I may have.... gone on a bit of a Jack Harkness spree. Totally did not mean to. I was looking for my Hawkeye comics for another project and found a bag of comics I bought awhile back with a six issue Torchwood run in among them. I recall reading them, but guess I never really got around to doing anything with them. Until now! I made a Jack necklace, and a card wallet, and yes, I am very pleased with myself. Because John Barrowman.

These are both up on my etsy!

[iamheredesigns]

I've been wanting to make a Joker wallet for awhile now, but I never had enough panels of him, or didn't think I did. I've been going through my comics a lot lately, in an effort to use what I have before bringing in more. And as I have been doing that, I found a lot of small appearances by him that lead to one full wallet, and probably a card wallet soon enough. This is the result!

This is up for sale on my etsy!

[iamheredesigns]

The number of crafts I have to wear gloved while doing is ever increasing...

[iamheredesigns]

Andddd my first card wallets are up for sale now! I've made three so far, and these are them. It's some pretty random choices, but I'm happy with how they all came out. Baby Avengers [which I would've done baby X-Men with them, if I could figure out where my panels for the Baby X-Men went...], Harley Quinn, and Spike! My favorite to work on was Harley Quinn, but my favorite overall was Spike, if that make any sense? I just like the Spike comics more I think, haha.

Anyway, these are up on my Etsy as always. And I'm off to work on more, because they are a nice break from the full wallets [so quick to make!].

[iamheredesigns]

I am trying very hard to keep up this pattern of making new things. For now, this will probably be the end for a little bit while I work out the kinks on the new stuff I've started making, but here they are nonetheless. I've made a character pendent necklace I like, and earrings also! I used to make other character earrings, but I was never really fond of how they came out, so when I got the supplies to make the necklaces I realized they were light enough for earrings. And off I went.

For the prototypes I did Dee from Rat Queens, because I wanted a Dee necklace and this gave me an excuse to make one for myself, and Warbird from X-Men. Warbird is by far one of my favorite female X-Men characters, and since X-Men seems to specialize in kick ass women that means something for me.

I will be making more of these and unlike a lot of my jewelry which is usually only for sale at cons, this stuff will make it onto Etsy. If you have character requests you can always catch me there!

[iamheredesigns]

A couple months ago, my craft space got an overhaul! And today, I was cleaning it up after the tornado of me getting ready for a con blew through, and I thought I should take some pictures.

There are three things in particular I really love about the space now:

1. I now have TONS of fabric storage. My mom hung three rods that are sold as like closest inserts, so I hang up my harder to wind fabric and the stuff I have a ton of yardage of. On top of that I have three shelves to hold more fabric, which I wind on comic back boards [they make great bolts!]

2. Peg board! I Can hold so much on this thing. There are spots for my curves and rulers, wire, some finished product, scissors, and other this and that. And I can always rearrange it in the future.

3. Finally, I have a GIANT fold out cutting/ironing table now. Which means no more cutting out on the floor, no more aching back! I mostly keep it folded down or with just one leaf out when I'm working on smaller projects, because it does take up quite a bit of space.

The other stuff is a combination of decoration, storage, and work space. I really do love it. And I have my mom to thank for it. While I helped put stuff together, she did the bulk of the hanging and putting together of shelves, the table, ect. I mainly moved the stuff in once everything was ready.

[iamheredesigns]

I made a new kind of wallet! A.K.A a card holder. The best thing about prototypes? I get to make them just for me, and the change of pace feels so good. This literally took about a 1/2 hour to make while my wallet wallets take about 1-1/2 hours to make. I did Big Mac because I personally have been wanting a Big Mac wallet for ages but he doesn't appear quite enough in the comics to have a full wallet. So this was the perfect chance to use him!

This is lined with a bottom weight fabric [denim sateen] and is about 5 x 4 ins. when open and  5 x 2 ins. when closed. It has enough room for a few credit/loyalty cards [I currently have six in it] and a few bills. I made two extra pockets on the inside with vinyl to help with the capacity.

I'm going to do the comics going up in down in the ones I make for sale, I think it will look a lot better. And I'm thinking of ordering some tinted vinyl for the pockets just to make some variety. We shall see.

[iamheredesigns]

And finally, the things that don't fall into Marvel or DC, which basically mean My Little Pony and Adventure Time, plus one Buffy wallet. What I have here is: The Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rainbow Dash, Willow from Buffy, Fiona and Cake, Ice King and Queen, Princess Bubblegum, Finn and Jake, Pinkie Pie, Marceline and Bubblegum, and Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor. The one I love the most is the Cutie Mark Crusaders, mostly because I liked reading their comic xD.

These are up on my Etsy!

[iamheredesigns]

Now for DC. The line up here is: Batman Lil' Gotham, Static Shock, Green Arrow, Catwoman, Cyborg, Miss Martian, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Zantanna, and Poison Ivy. My favorite her was surely Lil' Gotham, though it was also hard as hell because the artwork is a lot more flowy than other comics.

Up on my Etsy!