a collection of various things @iamjustchillin - Tumblr Blog

Youre a mollusk and something potentially bad or scary gets inside you what do you do. Make a pearl around it. Okay. okay

jetix

Aleksander Nordahl

herpsandbirds

GET ABSOLUTELY SHRIMPED!!!

homunculus-argument

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

thekijs

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

yaoialien

elderscrollsconceptart

Asking your Bosmer friend if they're going to bury or creamate their dead Grandmother

uesp

"Those who don't believe in mercy must believe in fear."

--Corbyn Rangouze, Priest of Stendarr

xelmknightx

strangerconnection

i should be allowed to psychically project all my agonies onto people who try to minimize my disabilities. oh yeah, "its not that hard"? watch this

funstyle

*cools ur dashboard down*

natureisthegreatestartist

What's this? The red-lined bubble snail (Bullina lineata), a marine gastropod. Bizarre and beautiful, yes?

organiccyborg

i am strange and i look like a peppermint. is that ok .

gooseworx

What happens when Kaufmo holds his breath?

his eyes turn into Xs and he just fucking dies.

mannimarcos

trueflame&hopesfire

jorongbak

So if Caine and Kinger finally have a father-son relationship… does that mean Kinger calls him by his first name, all three middle names, and last name when he’s about to unleash the full force of his parental wrath