[mozzabellastick-deactivated2025]

having an old tiny worrisome asian lady as my mother is a small burden

[jonesie32]

A Soldier and a Marine just testing out their camo.

[this-is-my-life-lacy]

lololololol

[captainkristine]

I’m reblogging this again cause it’s that awesome.

Then there’s the Navy

[letslipthehounds]

I hadn’t seen the Navy one

[sanerontheinside]

That’s the idea

[bunjywunjy]

*walks down the hall and trips over 16 servicemen and a reservist*

[heathens-and-kings]

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

[owawaaa]

a thing for one of my favorite posts on this site

[trannysaurus--rex]

When you invite me over for sex and there are other people in the house.

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

I FUCKING HATE THIS WEBSITE!

[heyyalan]

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY THIS IS

[thugilly]

Time to delete my account.

[writing-prompt-s]

You’ve been dating your partner for six months. Tonight they’ve invited you to a work event, and as you step onto the red carpet, you realize it for the first time: you’re dating a celebrity.

[thebigbeeefy-deactivated2023041]

“Aaaaw fuck is this why you always laughed so hard when I said you look like Steve Buscemi?”

[metaleaterz]

some of the best headlines ive ever seen

[bob-belcher]

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

@god turn the ac on

[mjalti]

my plan is to jog in a zip code where the average house is $1 million dollars. i jog everyday. i run into the trophy wives jogging club. we jog past each other so often, they’re forced to interact with me. we’re friends now. i’m invited places. i meet other millionaires, men who love me. i marry the richest, using an alias. throughout the first year of marriage, i’m moving assets and cash to an off shore bank account. i fake my own death on our anniversary. he’s heartbroken.

i started jogging in a new million dollar neighborhood. i’ve just made friends with the local jogging crew headed by ashtonlynn and brotyna “chichi” who has a single millionaire brother,

[eclipticzero]

Is there any version of this plan where I don’t have to jog

[mjalti]

u only have to jog past the ladies which is like 46 seconds. suck it up for the fraud of it all

[solace-y]

just the girly things

forcing an earing through a closed piercing

taking off tight clothes and rubbing the indents they left on your skin 

human sacrifice

homemade face masks 

[quotemadness]

There’s some people in this world who you can just love and love and love no matter what.

John Green (via quotemadness)

[suspend]

Don’t worry when I argue with you. Worry when I stop cause that just means there’s nothing left worth fighting for.

3 am thoughts (via suspend)

[obviousplant]

I made some state tourism ads and left them outside a local travel agency.

More stuff like this on Facebook | Instagram

[onlytwitterpics]

[babyanimalgifs]

Golden Retriever, German Shepherd and Australian Shepherd mix.

[setheverman]

these were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect good boy

[vivienvalentino]

[hoebutmadefashion]

[ruinedchildhood]