Spoken Silence

renaissance

[iamtherealveronicam]

The perfect gentleman

Some days you hide behind closed doors..

Some nights you take pictures of our dirty secrets that we can tell no one of..

You hide us in films that will never be framed..

Does she know I hold a folder in your heart?.. Zipped up every time you lift your pants..

Does she hear the jarred butterflies in your gut that you neatly Tuck in with your shirt..

I hope you suffocate when you think of me.. And as you knot that tie around your collar I hope you feel my hands around your neck..

I hope you wear my arousal on your body.. like you wear that perfectly fitted blazer..

And even though you keep me hidden away like happy socks I hope I make appearances And brighten up your day..

I hope she wonders why you wear me on your face and when you kiss her I hope she tastes my name in your mouth and the whispered “I love you's” I’ve cum into you..

And when she looks into your eyes I hope she sees the private movies you packed in the back of all the moments I fell apart in your arms like streams into your veins..

And when blood flows back into your mouth.. I hope your voice echoes all your lies and your confessions fall on deaf ears.. I hope you find the courage to tell her she’s the only thing that makes you happy and never see’s the light of your words illuminate my shadow..

I pray I remain the cufflinks that hold shit together.. Ever so subtle but recognised.. The jewel placed between fabrics.. Our dirty little secret.. I hope she continues to hold you in place.. Because I could never walk in her shoes..

I wish we could remain eternal.. Me.. Her and our perfect gentleman.. Forever timeless..

But I’ve come to learn that things buried in the closet always claw their way out.. I learnt men are like children so there comes a time when kids out grow their dolls.. And honestly.. Who wants to play dress up forever?..

Veronica Melula

[alexandraelle-deactivated201511]

stop apologizing for who you are, for your laugh, for “looking crazy,” for the way you eat or sleep. stop being sorry for being yourself.

alex elle  (via alexandraelle)

[iamtherealveronicam]

🌹 ... I CHOOSE ME ... 🌹

Not the bitter bitch you left me with... Not the "am I good enough?" reflection I saw in your mirror... Not the "why would you do that to me?" stains on my pillow... Not the "Is it all my fault?" you carved into my womb... Not the "Please don't leave me" you engraved under my tongue... Not the "Forevers" whose wings you plucked out inside my stomach... I choose me... Not this bitter bitch you left me with... I choose me.. The me before you.. Not this hollow shell you left me with... So smile gorgeous... You're all that's left...

[deletionin10sec-deactivated2016]

panic/anxiety attack

breath in for 4 seconds

hold your breath for 7 seconds

exhale breath for 8 seconds

repeat once or twice more.

This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.

Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.

[chris-sid]

Never not reblog

[pushed-too-far-deactivated20240]

Tumblr got anxiety advice. Fuck yeah.

[vye-curious-deactivated20170912]

Read this earlier, and it helped me a lot tonight.

[iamtherealveronicam]

#NoteToSelf

[iamtherealveronicam]

A Poem for my Mother, my father and I... I see how you look up at me like a ghost sometimes... How with every year that passes I look like a time frame of what she use to be... How my voice shakes you because Violets bloom out the back of my throat just like her name and you once again in my voice hear your favorite song... A Flower child... And once again another spring has come and I flourish the different shades of purple and blue... It's true... I do truly look like you... Flower Child... I will finish this poem one day when my petals aren't too afraid of the sun... And my leaves aren't intimidated by the winds... And when my own thorns aren't this deep into my wounds... 💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙 #MyFather #FatherAndDaughter #Growth #Glow #Glory #APoemForNyMotherFatherAndI #Family

[coloradoanatelophobic]

I took this picture for a class but I thought it was so powerful.

The beautiful girl to the left has struggled with being called slut whore skank ect because she has well double D’s.

Me, on your right, I’ve always been told especially by guys that I need to “grow bigger boobs”.

But we are who we are. She is big and I am small and that should be okay. Don’t let the world tell you what you should look like.

[lifes-a-bitch-thenyoudie]

amazing, this needs more notes

[alcoholic-felines-deactivated20]

Pisses me off so much though. “Grow bigger boobs”?? Like can you grow a bigger dick? Nah, didn’t think so, go fuck yourselves.

[iamtherealveronicam]

I love this...So damn true...

[iamtherealveronicam]

... When faced with senseless drama...

[wordsbymxo]

The truth is what we hide to be found, we walk away to see who follows, we cry to see who will wipe away our tears and we let our hearts be broken to see who will come fix them…

(via wordsbyderick)

So darn true..

[quierosentirmebien]

Where did you get those big eyes? My mother. And where did you get those lips? My mother. And the loneliness? My mother. And that broken heart? My mother. And the absence, where did you get that? My father.

Inheritance, Warsan Shire (via prideinthepanther)

Volumes

(via ndliziwe)

..This I can deeply relate to..its unfortunate really. .

[danundone]

indeed

[iamtherealveronicam]

..It definitely is :-( ..

[sank0cha]

[iamtherealveronicam]

The depth of this..

[heartcountry]

I hope she kisses you with the entire universe in her mouth so that you wake up with stars on your lips and a smile that drips constellations.

Y.Z (via rustyvoices)

God dammit. .

[alonesomes]

My mother tells me that when I meet someone I like, I have to ask them three questions: 1. what are you afraid of? 2. do you like dogs? 3. what do you do when it rains? of those three, she says the first one is the most important. “They gotta be scared of something, baby. Everybody is. If they aren’t afraid of anything, then they don’t believe in anything, either.” I met you on a Sunday, right after church. one look and my heart fell into my stomach like a trap door. on our second date, I asked you what you were afraid of. “spiders, mostly. being alone. little children, like, the ones who just learned how to push a kid over on the playground. oh and space. holy shit, space.” I asked you if you liked dogs. “I have three.” I asked you what you do when it rains. “sleep, mostly. sometimes I sit at the window and watch the rain droplets race. I make a shelter out of plastic in my backyard for all the stray animals; leave them food and a place to sleep.” he smiled like he knew. like his mom told him the same thing. “how about you?” me? I’m scared of everything. of the hole in the o-zone layer, of the lady next door who never smiles at her dog, and especially of all the secrets the government must be breaking it’s back trying to keep from us. I love dogs so much, you have no idea. I sleep when it rains. I want to tell everyone I love them. I want to find every stray animal and bring them home. I want to wake up in your hair and make you shitty coffee and kiss your neck and draw silly stick figures of us. I never want to ask anyone else these questions ever again.

three questions | Caitlyn Siehl (via zombiebondage)

Love this..absolutely amazing. .

[iamtherealveronicam]

Derick Vundla_My story(ForVeronicaMelula)

It was just after 4pm in the afternoon when I first saw u getting in a taxi I was with my drama team, I payed scant attention to you... You were just 'food for the eyes' I thought. I found myself in the same taxi that you were in. It was something of a blessing that I had to sit next to you... When I spoke about not having transport money I saw that sort of grabbed your attention I had to keep that story going... It wasn't long till u notice that I was in matric, nd I told you that I'm doing sciences and what not... It was something of half a minute when you told me that you were a poet... Right after I found out that you were you became 'food for my soul" I thought I couldn't tell you that though... "I'm all yours" was the first poem you read to me... I felt more connected with you, the look in your eyes when you read me that poem... God in heaven stood still for a while to watch as how this love story would turn out... I read you 'Dear sisi omuhle' I prayed that would make you like me even more... Suddenly the ride home became short when you had to get off... Maybe it was your smile, I believed it left scientist clueless, Shakespeare would have been speechless, and as for me I was breathless... Or your eyes it must have been, they were like the sun rise in early spring when you would blink it was as though the everlasting rain had just rained in summer... I had to find out who you truly were... Whether you were real or not? I found you on facebook... I met you again at a poetry session, the first words you said to me were "We starting to see each other often, I'm starting to believe its a meant to be" how I had been dying to hear those words 'a meant to be'... You became a friend, later we promised we'd get married at 35 if we were both single by then... It was the 25th of July when we wrote our first poem together... You looked like someone between my miracles and dreams, but how was I to tell you that I was deep in... *deep in the friendzone... Love tragedy we called it. Something seemed more brighter about you that day maybe it was the white top you were wearing... But something was heavenly about your voice, and the way you smelled... I was embarrassed of how I smelled stay soft... I couldn't wait till our second colabo... It wasn't long till I became your poetic soul mate, and later on I was to become the one you most liked... A part of me had always been dying to hear all those words that you said to me... I'm glad I finally heard them Some people wait a life time for a moment like this but in this case like that when you told me you had a paragraph in your head, and a whole book in your heart... My heart skipped a beat... I hated how u thought of your self as unworthy to be loved... There's a lot I relate to you about, your poetry... I believe you the best there is...

[marquise-anne]

defense mechanism:

What is Defense Mechanism?

-are psychological strategies brought into play by the unconscious mind to manipulate, deny, or distort reality in order to defend against feelings of anxiety and unacceptable impulses to maintain one’s self schema. These processes that manipulate, deny, or distort reality may include the following: repression, or the burying of a painful feeling or thought from one’s awareness even though it may resurface in a symbolic form; identification, incorporating an object or thought into oneself; and rationalization, the justification of one’s behavior and motivations by substituting “good” acceptable reasons for the motivations. Generally, repression is considered the basis for other defense mechanisms.

My own Defense Mechanism:

Sour Graping, Sweet Lemoning - One good example of this is when every time I see something that I want but too expensive, I’m going to say “It’s too expensive, maybe there’s a better than this”, and same with the other way. Every time I see something but not my choice, I’m going to say, “It is better than the other one.

Denial - is probably one of the best known defense mechanisms, used often to describe situations in which people seem unable to face reality or admit an obvious truth (i.e. “He’s in denial.”). Denial is an outright refusal to admit or recognize that something has occurred or is currently occurring. Deny, deny and deny!!! We all know that most people don’t admit what is wrong to them. I’m always denying the fact that I’m not good in sports and told to myself “I can do this.”. 

Repression - is another well-known defense mechanism. Repression acts to keep information out of conscious awareness. However, these memories don’t just disappear; they continue to influence our behavior. My own example of this, when every time someone did something wrong to me. I’m going to use what he/she have done to me to be better.

Rationalization - is a defense mechanism that involves explaining an unacceptable behavior or feeling in a rational or logical manner, avoiding the true reasons for the behavior. In this defense mechanism. Every time my friends asks me to hang-out but I really don’t want to go with them, I’m thinking of things that will stop me from joining them like my budget, my mom and many more other things.

Reaction Formation - reduces anxiety by taking up the opposite feeling, impulse or behavior. If I really don’t want to go out but I need to, I’m just going to enjoy that even if I really don’t. 

[maktubian]

I can’t describe the sound of her voice The music in her lungs Or the rose pedals in her walk But I imagine that her words Are like fig leaves That dance to the sound of opinions that refuse to be silenced The conviction in her sentences Can make an ocean question beauty of its own waves I bet the stars spend hours in the mirror Getting pretty Putting on extra sparkle Hoping that she will notice them in the moonlight I imagine the morning gets jealous whenever she wakes up at noon I bet the knees of twilight buckle whenever she compliments a sunset I bet the streetlights shine a little bit Simply because she is standing underneath them I bet the sidewalk plays a symphony Just to make sure that her feet have something to listen to in between steps I can’t describe the sound of her voice The music in her hugs Or the rose pedals in her walk But I know I know that she is more than just another piece of land waiting to be claimed She is an acoustic guitar Waiting patiently for the hands that have been trained to hold her properly She is a wind chime inside of a culdesac And her skin is a melody That very few men will have the pleasure of hearing

my favorite. by Rudy Francisco (via maktubian)

[ndliziwe]

"Her" -tyler the Creator

(It’s this girl) She lives next door To the store that I loiter at We talk every night, she cry to me about her guy And if we text, I get pissed when I get no reply (It’s this girl) I know that she’s the key to love She is who I’m thinking of when I am beating richard...