Ian.Revenant

Surfing the Flux…

[wetheurban]

Say it with me:

In August, I make room for joy.

In August, I trust myself.

In August, I choose peace.

In August, I release misalignment.

In August, I find my spark.

In August, I stop settling.

In August, I become even more myself.

[wetheurban]

I hope August is good to you.

[kosmogrl]

we got august this week

[wetheurban]

No more repeating cycles.

No more catastrophizing.

No more self-abandoning.

It’s time to heal.

[rearte2]

by Auguste Herbin, 1940

[rearte2]

by Paul Jenkins, 1972

[freakoutgirl]

maybe if i isolate myself enough my desire for intimacy will go away

[ianrevenant]

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

[spaceguylewis]

PROJECT HAIL MARY ↳ Color Palettes II

[ianrevenant]

Holy fuck, I just finished Obsession and that is not a movie to watch on a Sunday afternoon.

[ianrevenant]

Time…

[ianrevenant]

Time…

[ianrevenant]

I went to grab my Starbucks this morning and a light bulb turned on. My anxiety is not bad, and neither is the sadness. I spend so much time being hyper vigilant and I get lost in this process of trying to stay "balanced".

I'm not arguing that balance is important, but when the natural response to any type of adversity is to be hard on myself (which I often do repeatedly) I lose perspective of the bigger picture.

Everything has its place, even the anxious moment, or the sad moments. When those things are prolonged, I know that's a sign to ask deeper questions - like what is its purpose? What am I trying to avoid?

Even the small acts sometimes require courage, especially as someone who has suffered from these issues in the past.

It'll never be perfect, no. But I believe it can always be better.

[glowcowboy]

as someone who constantly gets stuck in ruminative cycles, figuring out a way to stop the cycle before it gets out of hand has been incredibly formative for me. if you find yourself ruminating or unable to stop the cycling, here’s a place to start.

am i learning, processing, or ruminating? it’s important to be able to distinguish between the three. learning is when you receive new information that updates your frame of understanding. processing is when you study a situation to help yourself understand it. ruminating is when you cycle over the same thought repeatedly, often causing distress. learning and processing are productive, while rumination is destructive.

which theme is this? understanding the root of the spiral has helped me to untangle why the rumination feels so intense and scary. (example: i’ve been ruminating on one specific interaction with someone where i think they might’ve misinterpreted what i meant. this is my theme of fear around being misunderstood.)

how do i respond? (example: okay, this is that theme of being misunderstood. but it is not my job to make myself perfectly understood. the people i have around me can ask clarifying questions if they’re confused, and they are willing to meet me in the middle because they want to understand.)

don’t feed the raccoons tuna. (this is an example from my therapist that i love! essentially, don’t feed the beast or it will keep coming back. distract yourself, journal, listen to music, etc.)

[remanence-of-love]

[ianrevenant]

Integration

Looking at time, I realize how finite my life is. It's also paradoxical because sometimes looking inwardly or at my relationship with the divine, life also becomes infinite.

I suppose this is just a nice way of saying my life is deeper than it seems. But lately, I've been confronted with old wounds, shadows of the different struggles that I've been through and have overcome, some not.

How can I feel healed? How can I feel like I've overcome the worst parts of myself. I know those traits are years of conditioning that have come about consciously and unconsciously. Maybe some of that is also out of my control.

Do I accept that first, and then rebuild? How do I learn to accept that I may never get to where I want to be?

[ianrevenant]

The courage to be despite it all.