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Icon by: @chemicataclysm Ollie_She/Her Age: 20

[fruitgushers]

a dead scene kid is trying to contact me through captcha

[ravenlynclemens]

calvin and hobbes

[rocktopussy]

[softwaring]

by Rythaz

[enki2]

[wordwizards]

You go into a creepy mansion and there’s a cloaked figure learning how to play the organ from a YouTube tutorial on their phone. You leave them to it.

[datasoong47]

[linguisticparadox]

[r5h]

Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/2609/

[bralsra-deactivated20250108]

theres ALWAYS a relevant XKCD for everything huh

[bogleech]

bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis

[poondragoon]

From top-of-frame, a month flutters into the wallet. Confused, the bat looks "up" to see an equally-confused human standing "above" her, holding an open wallet containing a single $100 bill.

Camera rotates to reveal bat has been hanging upside down above a human doing the exact same visual gag and each ruined the other's bit.

Laugh track.

[legov7]

[realdonkeykong]

All so true. Why is the human Jon Arbuckle

[zeemczed]

Jon Arbuckle is the default human skin.

[wizardarchetypes]

the thing about adulthood is when someone says something extremely rude to you, you can either turn the other cheek or calmly & firmly correct them. The third option is to tell them “say that again, I’ll bite you” & everyone sort of nervously laughs and tries to move on from your little joke. Which is why I think it’s very important that when they do say it again you follow through. Nobody actually expects you to bite them. We should be biting more. Also if you’re with the county health department do not read thi s post

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: t tg at at a tg t t , ca t t t t c ca & cct t. T t t t t t “a tat aga, ’ t ” & t ag a t t tt . c t t’ tat tat t a t aga tg. acta ct t t t. tg . A ’ t t ct at att t a t t

Closest match: Culicoides sonorensis genome assembly, scaffold: scaffold117 Common name: Biting midge

[wizardarchetypes]

NO WAY

[sashayed]

[bob-artist]

My brain: You have so many tight deadlines. So many things on your weekly schedule. So many important jobs. You have to get important work done!!!

My hands:

[glumshoe]

raccoons make no sense because they will leave your birdseed and garbage and garden and compost pile alone but they WILL open a barrel and pull out an empty 5 gallon gas canister and unscrew the lid and leave it in your yard and also untie the dog tether from your porch beam for no reason

[glumshoe]

one time I watched a raccoon pull up plastic tent stakes at a campground and just walk away, content with causing mischief

another time at camp I woke up to find a raccoon had grabbed the yarn that connected the string telephones my neighbor and I had strung up between our cabin windows and was just yanking on it… I grabbed one end and ended up in a tug-of-war over the string phone while this beefy raccoon pulled and pulled, hand over hand, making direct eye contact with me

and sometimes they’d sneak into cabins and just…. touch people while they slept

why!!! who said you could act like this!!!

[mrbiglong3000]

god gave them hands but not shame

[teathattast]

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]

[pyropotter]

You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell

[thearmyofgrunge]

[catchymemes]

[catchymemes]

[lovednknown]

born to “teehee” forced to “haha”

[batshit-auspol]

Here's our most requested item: Bob Katter's same-sex marriage speech, in all its unhinged glory

Follow for more Batshit Moments in Australian politics!

[deluxe-distrait]