umm, don’t mind my slow brain, it works on weird schedules and never brings enough words to match the thoughts
My moon, My man (Feist) being the Shane x Ilya montage song is diabolically parallel to Scott x Kip getting I’ll Believe in Anything (Wolf Parade)
shed some light
shed some light on me, please
feels like a survival plea against personal battles, against being unseen. it begs: love me in the light, love me where it is dangerous. i have my "heart on my sleeve / not where it should be". it is not safe, i know it is not safe, we have so much to lose, but love me publicly, let me love you publicly. choose me publicly, let me choose you publicly
there’s secrecy and incompleteness in it, like their love is dented like the moon. and as the montage goes on, the life that doesn’t contain each other fades into background noise, and that secrecy starts to feel heavy. like something neither of them can ignore anymore. and those walls come crumbling down when ilya lets shane take control and he slipped and shane fled from the vulnerability and chaos of it all
and then we get Fairy Gaymothers ™️ with
give me your eyes
i need sunshine
when they kiss at basically the biggest event in ice hockey, they’re in the open. in the sun. they love through each other’s eyes, not through whatever the public wants them to be, not as a reduced performance or reflection. not as the moon but the sun. with unfiltered warmth, radiance and kindness thats what it feels like. thats what it is.
so when i say im chewing on the drywall of the cottage, i mean im losing my mind over how well-lit it is. its isolated, yes. away from the public eye, yes. but its still bright, still kind, warm, and radiant.
they chose each other, and even if public acknowledgment is a work in progress, they’ll get there. it will be so so difficult, but they’d walk into that difficulty for the hope of it all
everything is tender and sun-washed and i am emotionally overwhelmed, because when even the shadows are gentle, what am i supposed to do with that?
