Cyan (he/him or they/them). Always here for family stories. Actually a penguin blog in disguise. Sidebar gif by the amazing @bikatniss.
One Piece sideblog: @oceanofstardust.
It’s already 2026, so I thought I might look back and create a wrap-up post for the writing I did last year!
In total, I published 27.9k words last year, spread over 8 fics, all for the Alex Rider fandom. It wasn't the best year for writing, unfortunately, but I still managed to post some fics I'm proud of, and I did actually write a fair bit that didn't get posted (but hopefully will in the future).
As always, thanks so much to everyone who took the time to read and leave kudos and comment on my fics, it always makes my day <3
Yassen & Alex
Drinking Lessons (T, 4.8k) - Devil!verse fic where Yassen teaches 16-year-old Alex a lesson about alcohol.
After Alex drinks a bit too much at a New Year's Eve party, Yassen decides to get Alex drunk to teach him about his limits.
Domesticated (T, 8.1k) - Hurt/comfort fic where Yassen takes care of a concussed Alex and his cats.
Alex wakes up with a pounding headache to find that not only is Yassen Gregorovich apparently alive, but he is sitting in Alex’s armchair with a purring cat in his lap, quietly reading a book. It's a lot to take in.
Written for the Spyfest 2025 Gift Exchange.
Yassen/Alex
The Benefits of Friendship (E, 1.2k) - 3x06 AU where Yassen gives Alex a handjob, with implied past John/Yassen.
Set during episode 3x06. Alex and Yassen have to share the only bed in the safe house. When Alex struggles to sleep, Yassen decides to lend a hand.
The Rooftop Revisited (E, 1.1k) - Movieverse yalex PWP.
Another rooftop, another conversation.
"This doesn't change anything," Alex insisted as he let Yassen push him against the wall, already fumbling with Yassen's belt.
Yassen sounded almost amused. "As you say."
The Affair at the Wedding (E, 3.9k) - Post-S3 Yalex where Alex tries to hide he's been drugged with an aphrodisiac.
It’s just Alex’s luck that the next time he sees Yassen after Invisible Sword, he ends up hurt, stuck in a storage cupboard with Yassen, and fighting the effects of a rather potent aphrodisiac.
Exchange treat for @proodence for Spyfest After Dark 2025.
Miscellaneous
Death in Paradise (John & Alex, T, 2.2k) - Ark Angel AU where Alex is saved his father.
A slight change in timing means there is no Tamara Knight to rescue Alex from the Mary Belle. Trapped twenty-two metres below the surface and with his air supply running out, Alex finds himself saved instead by a man who's supposed to be long dead: John Rider.
like ashes in your mouth (Ash & Alex, T, 2.7k) - Snakehead told through Ash's POV.
There are times, during that final mission, when he considers killing the boy in his sleep. It would be a kinder thing to do than this, the way Ash lies to his face while leading Alex to his grave.
Ash's POV on his deception of Alex during the Snakehead mission.
Game Over (Alex, T, 3.9k) - Whump mission fic where Alex gets used as a dartboard before he manages to escape.
When Alex is caught on a mission, the guards come up with a cruel game to torment him. Not for the first time, Alex finds himself hurt and tied up, and with no one to rely on but himself.
read a fic ages ago that had some factual errors in it i had to bite my tongue on bcos as a general rule i think its rude to point out anything that's not a quick fix but it comes back into my head every so often so im just gonna say this now: inheriting money is a SLOW process, not something that just happens immediately when the person dies fgjhdfkjgf
if someone has a large enough estate that who inherits it is relevant then generally after they die a process gets started called probate
in the UK this means someone has to apply for a grant of probate from the government and the request will generally take a couple of months to process so there's gonna be a period of inaction before anyone gets any money
once probate has started, things that need to be done will include: calculating how much inheritance tax is owed on the estate, settling any life insurance policies, handling any behests to charities or people outside the immediate family, dealing with money that's wrapped up in investments, stuff like that. in the UK the government also gets to check over the estate to make sure the deceased didn't owe them any money.
if the estate includes property (which it prolly will if the deceased was at all wealthy) then ownership will need to be formally transferred and then if the property is to be sold that'll be a whole months-long process
all in all if your character is being left a wealthy person's entire estate it's potentially gonna be a few months before they get any money at all and it could be over a year before the estate is fully settled. if they're just being left a large sum of money it will be quicker but it will still be a case of 'you have a big sum of money coming in the next few months' not 'you are rich overnight'
one interesting question tho: i actually have no idea what happens if someone outside the deceased's family is formally bequeathed a specific physical possession or possessions. does anyone have experience w this? i'm curious!
"Could be over a year" undersells it, even. If they had a complicated estate, a weird tax situation, an unclear Will or the family is disputing it, it can take a lot longer.
Not completely sure on the physical possessions but I think the person receiving it can either request it to be sold and the money sent to them (which is what charities usually do when they're left physical objects) or I would imagine for smaller items the delivery should just be paid for from the estate. But I'm not sure what would happen if it was a grand piano or something, the Will didn't say anything about delivery fees, and the executor wanted to insist on the beneficiary collecting it themselves.
By the way if fanfic authors do want to keep the "someone died recently and now you're rich" thing, life insurance policies apparently typically pay out in 30-60 days, so that's quicker at least.
Or if the "someone died" isn't the important thing but "magical overnight riches" are, it's not that unusual for an executor only to get in touch with beneficiaries once the funds are ready to send, typically if it's a cash gift. So a character could plausibly get a letter saying, "re: your great-aunt Mabel, you might not be aware but she died two years ago, here's a cheque with your inheritance from her estate".
But OP is absolutely right that "someone died yesterday, you're rich today" isn't how it works.
re your first point, yeah lmao, honestly i have no idea what the average is bcos my mum's estate took the best part of 4 years to fully settle. so u never know.
w physical possessions i imagine it depends a lot on what kind of possession and how much it's worth yeah. unless it's something that's patently only of sentimental value i imagine it'd need to be formally valued so you'd be looking at a few weeks minimum? idk.
huh so I guess my story idea that required the main character to slowly receive his great-uncle's money and stuff is not too out there after all, then...
though I did have him moving into the house pretty quick and just inheriting the money slowly. is that still unusual then? Can you live in an estate that's still being settled, or do you have to wait til that's done?
(I have the will being something like "I want a relative to get all my stuff but I'm not picky who, so whoever agrees to live in and specifically not sell my house can have my money", and then the money gradually trickles in as like a series of monthly deposits while MC is living there, as further insurance he won't just dip once he gets the cash
also he discovers that he's also inheriting the secret wizard stuff)
you can defo live in an estate that's still being settled! my mum left her house to me & my sisters but by mutual agreement our stepdad went on living there for a good few months while we were settling things
in a scenario where everyone involved is being chill, i'd say if you already have access to the house or whoever has access to it is willing to give you the keys you can probably move in whenever. it could be an issue if there was a dispute over the property.
however the situation you're describing sounds all-round pretty fanciful so I'd say you can do whatever!
How organized crime fell in love with cheese—and made it the most stolen food item in the world.
Food fraud is big business. People have been adulterating and stealing food for as long as we’ve been eating it—from smuggling to counterfeiting, hijacking lorries to run-of-the-mill theft. The World Trade Organization estimates that food crime costs the global food industry as much as $50 billion US a year.
Famously, in 2012, around $18 million worth of maple syrup was siphoned from a warehouse in Canada. The Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers discovered during a routine check that their maple syrup barrels were depleted, throwing the global supply into jeopardy. In 2013, it was Nutella’s turn, with thieves in Germany stealing 6,875 large jars of the stuff. That same year, while a lorry driver was asleep in his cab in a layby in Worcestershire, England, thieves cut a hole in the side of the lorry and extracted 6,400 tins of Heinz baked beans with sausages. West Mercia police asked for information “about anyone trying to sell large quantities of Heinz baked beans in suspicious circumstances.”
In 2023, in Shropshire, Joby Pool hitched a trailer containing 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs, estimated to be worth around $41,000, to a stolen tractor unit and towed the Easter chocolate away. He was caught driving northbound on the M42 and walked toward the police with his hands up. That same year, 37 tons of olive oil were stolen from a mill in Halkidiki, Greece, costing the cooperative growers $348,000. “They don’t go for jewellery anymore, they go for olive oil,” one local reporter told The Guardian.
And on March 26, 2026, headlines (and memes) exploded with the news that 413,793—12 tons—of chocolate KitKat bars had been stolen in transit from Italy to Poland.
For the Alex Rider books ask game. Thanks for asking!
9. What's your favourite 'Alex is in peril' moment?
It's perhaps not a classic perilous moment, but that scene in Scorpia where he gets shot and doesn't realise it at first until he's falling to the ground and can't breathe and that's when he starts to feel scared? Gosh, that scene always gets me.
In terms of a more action-y perilous scene, I loved the escape from the Widow's Palace in Scorpia. Absolutely horrifying situation with the rising water and Alex realising the water regularly reached the ceiling during floods. And especially that moment when he knows his only slim hope of a way out is to go into the narrow shaft running under the floor and he has to force himself to dive in knowing he may very well get stuck. Love that mix of desperation and barely controlled panic and Alex having to put himself what is at that moment a worse situation to be able to make it out alive.
10. What is your favourite Alex quote or pun?
I think this may be my favourite pun of his:
Mrs Jones took up the story. “The platform underneath the balloon fell on her as she was trying to escape,” she explained. “She was crushed.”
“I‟d have been disappointed too,” Alex muttered.
As for a more serious moment, both of these scenes with the villains were very good:
Alex felt an enormous tiredness creeping up on him. He weighed the card in his hand. It was strange really. From one Skeleton Key to another. It all came down to this.
Sarov raised the gun. The blood was spreading more rapidly now. He swayed on his feet. “Give me the card or I will shoot you,” he said.
Alex lifted the card then suddenly flicked it. It spun twice in the air, then disappeared into the water. “Go ahead then, if that‟s what you want,” he said. “Shoot me!”
Sarov‟s eyes flickered over to the lost card, then back to Alex. “Why…?” he whispered.
“I‟d rather be dead than have a father like you,” Alex said.
Drevin stepped forward until he was centimetres away from Alex. Alex didn't flinch; rain streamed down his face. "Tell me, Alex," Drevin asked. "I'd be interested to know who you're working for. Is it MI6 or the CIA? Or perhaps both?"
"Go to hell," Alex replied quietly.
Random thought but what was up with Drevin's ring in Ark Angel lol. Like is it just a random nervous tic that he keeps twisting his ring around? Did Ahorz plan to give him some backstory that never made it to the page? Is it his wedding ring despite him being divorced for some time? We never do get an answer but every time I reread I'm like 'huh that's lot of mentions of him touching his ring'
3, 15, 20 from the Alex Rider ask game! If you already answered these, I can ask different ones!
Thanks for the game!
For the Alex Rider books ask game. And I haven't had these yet, thanks for asking! :D
3. How old were you when you first read the books? What was your first impression?
I was in my late twenties when I first read the books and I really enjoyed them! Somehow I'd missed them entirely when I was younger despite probably being the right age for them, but I think I may have been more into fantasy at the time. But I'd stumbled upon some fic with Alex and Yassen and got the gist of 'Russian assassin antagonist who knew teen spy's dead father' and I was already intrigued. 👀 Then I read the books and realised the reason everyone tagged their fics with 'Yassen Gregorovich Lives' was because it was an AU 🥲
15. What is a missing scene from the books that you'd love to see?
Honestly I think it would be really fun in a whump way to get the aftermath of the whole thing in Murmansk in Skeleton Key. Sarov is dead and the battle is winding down and then there's this one British teen spy who really has no business being there. Like someone must have taken him to the hospital speaking poor English and been like 'just stay here while we get someone from your government yes?' and then put him on a plane. I'd love to have seen some of the logistics involved in getting Alex home.
20. Which minor character in the Alex Rider books do you think deserves to get more love in fandom?
This is tricky because some characters do already have fans but also vocal haters and yet others you never hear anything about because people forget they exist lol. Anyway I am biased and I do think John Rider deserves more love. 🙈 Helen too because there's just not enough of her. :(
Ohh no wait you know what super minor character deserves more love? That old man on the ship who climbed out of the container to follow Alex and got caught and killed. :( And while we're at it, that Marc Antonio guy in Paris who pushed Alex ahead of him on the stairs and allowed Alex to escape. 🥺
For the Alex Rider books ask game. Thanks for asking!!
1. Do you have a favourite book? And if so, which is it?
It's a bit of a toss up between Skeleton Key, Eagle Strike, and Scorpia, but I think overall my favourite is Scorpia! Alex learning about his dad and joining a terrorist organisation and nearly killing Mrs Jones! And the ending always makes me tear up.
16. If you could have dinner with one of the characters from the Alex Rider books, who would you pick and why?
Ohh okay so my idea is this: Julia Rothman, but only in a very specific scenario where she needs me to stay alive because it's good for business. I think she would be a charming person to talk to and has good taste in food (I also like Italian food). I would ask her about the famous actors she knows/had at her parties and would carefully pretend not to know too much about what Scorpia does and hopefully it would be a fun evening and she wouldn't send assassins after me. 🙏
18. Which two characters that never shared scenes in the books would you most like to see interacting?
You know what I think it would actually be quite interesting to see Sarov interacting with Yassen. Like Sarov is such an ideological character in a way and like obviously he's got Conrad in canon but it's possible to imagine him hiring Yassen instead and I think Sarov would probably really dislike Yassen because he mostly just cares about money and it's extra frustrating for Sarov because Yassen is Russian. Like that Conrad is greedy is fine and to be expected but I imagine Sarov probably likes to think normal Russians believe in him or will believe in him once he shows them the way. And Yassen is like 'whatever, as long as you pay' and Sarov is like 😠
I do love the idea of Yassen genuinely only needing four hours of sleep and perhaps not being the most sensitive or understanding person about other people needing more. Like sure, he theoretically knows that other people might need more and it's unreasonable to expect them to stick to four hours like him, but part of him still looks down on people for it/thinks they're just lazy lmao
Like even John, who can go a week on four hours or less if he needs to, will want to catch up on sleep after. Just thinking about Yassen matching John's schedule during their march in the Amazon jungle and it's the walking more than the sleep deprivation that's a struggle, and he's just internally thinking that Hunter doesn't like to waste time sleeping and he can understand that! So when John sleeps four hours when they reach some hotel afterwards and then just… keeps sleeping, Yassen is like ???
Yassen waking Hunter up after six hours because like is he ill or something? What's going on?
John trying so hard not to snap because he can see Yassen is genuinely confused but also he's not happy to have been woken up for no good reason when he's sleep deprived lol. And frankly he was not expecting to have to explain normal sleeping habits to his Russian assassin student but here they are apparently
I do love the idea of Yassen genuinely only needing four hours of sleep and perhaps not being the most sensitive or understanding person about other people needing more. Like sure, he theoretically knows that other people might need more and it's unreasonable to expect them to stick to four hours like him, but part of him still looks down on people for it/thinks they're just lazy lmao
Like even John, who can go a week on four hours or less if he needs to, will want to catch up on sleep after. Just thinking about Yassen matching John's schedule during their march in the Amazon jungle and it's the walking more than the sleep deprivation that's a struggle, and he's just internally thinking that Hunter doesn't like to waste time sleeping and he can understand that! So when John sleeps four hours when they reach some hotel afterwards and then just… keeps sleeping, Yassen is like ???
I do love the idea of Yassen genuinely only needing four hours of sleep and perhaps not being the most sensitive or understanding person about other people needing more. Like sure, he theoretically knows that other people might need more and it's unreasonable to expect them to stick to four hours like him, but part of him still looks down on people for it/thinks they're just lazy lmao
The show gave us Yassen as Alex's tutor and that's great but I realised they never actually said something about John teaching Yassen and I can't believe they robbed us of the parallels 😭
The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?
Just looked at the discord backup/data export I made a few years back and I forgot how extremely useless it was lmao. The conversation history is completely incomprehensible because it's literally only your messages and they have the nerve to claim they picked this format 'to make it easy to understand and work with' how??
this is probably the most real thing either of them ever said to either of their children the whole show. "there's a lot wrong with us, but now we have to pack and go" like yeah both of these things are completely true congratulations.
