Dove

23 - NO MINORS - Secret account - Active July 2025

[iceddove]

Me !!

Height - 5'4 or 162.5cm

Highest/Start - 230 lbs or 104.3 kg

Now - 198.9 lbs or 90.2 kg (6/8/25)

Goal 1 - 199 lbs or 90.3 kg ✅

Goal 2 - 180 lbs or 81.6 kg

Ultimate goal - 150 lbs or 68 kg

I'm 23 from the USA !! Would love moots!! No minors pls and ty !!

[iceddove]

Hi Tumblr !

if you haven't noticed, I have taken a little bit of a break. I have had a lot go on in my life the past month and it has actually been insane.

I got cheated on, broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, and we lived together for 3 years. Started moving his stuff out of our shared place.

Luckily I got him to sign an agreement on paper that he would still pay his half of the rent/ bills for our apartment because our lease doesn't end until March of 2026. Financially I would not be able to live in our apartment off of my paycheck alone and he knew that. I also don't have my own car, so the stress of getting around also has eaten at me.

I've lost like 5 lb this week because of just how depressed I have been (yay) and I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow to hopefully deal with some of the stress.

But this end of our relationship is definitely going to be a big motivator for me to lose weight so I can feel like I have a fresh start. I want to have a body that he has never seen or touched before.

So if I'm suddenly a lot more active, it's because I'm more motivated to lose weight, and I have lost my biggest emotional support person, so I'll be leaning on the internet a lot more for that.

I don't really have many friends IRL so it's definitely going to be a struggle to regulate my emotions (hence the therapy)

But that's my little update for right now

[iceddove]

WHY am I so bad at MY OWN eating d|s0rd3r ?!?!!

[iceddove]

Sorry I've been MIA.

I've been feeling like I'm in a trance recently. Nothing feels real in a way. Mentally and financially I'm struggling to keep up. It's just been a rollercoaster.

I keep blnging. Been plateauing like crazy bc of it. I don't feel like getting out of bed. My job as an artist has made me feel burnt out. Got multiple bills to pay that will make me not be able to afford rent. I also had a cancer scare, hence the bills.

I really hope things get better soon.

[iceddove]

Binged for the 1st time in 3 weeks :/ 2300 cals today 😭😭 hopefully it doesn't mess me up too much. I've been maintaining for like 4 days now.

[iceddove]

Just a PSA, if you are a minor and you follow me I will block you 🤗 I don't want to indirectly encourage children to have a life deteriorating disorder 🩷

[iceddove]

There really is nothing quite as liberating as not eating.

[iceddove]

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉`° Weiad 7-7-2025 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

Here's my cals for today! I went over AGAIN omg I'm such a wannarexic 🙄 I can't even stick to a simple 1000 cal limit.

Today's cals : 1100

[iceddove]

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉`° Weiad 6-7-2025 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

Breakfast:

So I didn't realize chickpeas were a billion calories so this was definitely a larger bfast than I was intending :/

Lunch:

I didn't want to eat until dinner but I felt like I was going to pass out 😭😭

Dinner:

Today's total: 1487

Definitely went way over today too 😭 my boyfriend cooked me dinner so I couldn't skip :/

It's actually so weird how he's acting today. Our relationship has been basically cooked for the last 6~ months and we are basically only still together bc we live together and our lease doesn't end until April 2026. He's been strangely acting like he actually likes me this week, which is not normal. I feel very confused about the whole situation. We have had many conversations about fixing our relationship and they never seem to click with him, but maybe something finally did. (Oh and our relationship is only bad bc HE doesn't communicate or prioritize spending time with me. He basically acts like I'm his roommate. I only haven't left bc of my finances. I'm doing better financially now so I planned on leaving in April when the lease ends, but NOW he chooses to fix things ? It's so weird to me.)

Total WL: -25.4lbs or -11.5kg

[iceddove]

Every time I relapse after a long period of "eating normally" I feel like I'm faking my ed for attention. And then I remember no one CHOOSES to ⭐ve themselves and obsess over everything they eat.

[iceddove]

Reminder that:

Not all people with an ED want to be super thin/ skin and bone.

Not all people with an ED are uw.

Some people with an ED want to be super toned/muscular.

Some people with an ED want to be a "normal" bmi/weight.

Some people with an ED are overweight/obese.

Some people with an ED don't look "unhealthy".

That doesn't mean any of them aren't suffering or valid.

[no1souplover]

ive seen these kinds of lists before but no one else has mentioned wanting to be a normal weight. like yea ideally i get uw but honestly id rather the lowest i ever go is the lower end of the normal range and then just maintain over being super uw and forced into recovery or binge to a normal weight and live with the guilt.

since ive spent so much of my life overweight being a normal weight and not feeling judged for my weight has kinda always been the dream

[iceddove]

Exactly me. I've been overweight my whole life too and all I've ever wanted was to be "normal". I never see anyone else talk about it, but I know I absolutely couldn't be the only one who wanted that.

[iceddove]

I could be at my gw and LOWER by the end of the year if I lock in.

My gw1 is 199 and I could be there in 2 weeks ??? Like YES PLS.

My cals are ≤1000 daily with at least 2 miles on the treadmill with a 12 incline 4 days (or more) a week ✨

[iceddove]

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉`° Weiad 5-7-2025 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

Breakfast:

Love these rice and veg bowls so much. They fill me up for hours and give me enough energy to do my workout 😅 I'm not really a breakfast person, but I know if I fast until the evening, it will make me end up Blnging :/ so lots of protein and veg in the morning is always a good call !

Dinner:

Somehow I managed to make my own dinner tonight?? Usually I cook for my boyfriend and I, but he had pizza for lunch at work and didn't want anything else 👀 I'm so happy I was able to make up for yesterday.

Today's total: 636 cals

Total WL : -24.3lbs or 11kg

[iceddove]

Reminder that:

Not all people with an ED want to be super thin/ skin and bone.

Not all people with an ED are uw.

Some people with an ED want to be super toned/muscular.

Some people with an ED want to be a "normal" bmi/weight.

Some people with an ED are overweight/obese.

Some people with an ED don't look "unhealthy".

That doesn't mean any of them aren't suffering or valid.

[iceddove]

I HATE how bloated I get after I do cardio. Why do I look BIGGER when I'm burning calories??? Make it make sense

[paperweightfeatherlight02-deact]

If you think someone can’t be overweight and disordered please block me because I would like to hit you with a brick ☺️

[iceddove]

I'm the lowest weight I've been in 3 years and I'm still over 200 lbs (205.7 to be exact)

I hate that I let myself get this big again. At one point, about 8/9 years ago I went from 220 to 150 in like 6 months (by ⭐ving ofc) and I swore to myself I'd NEVER get that heavy again. Then 2 years ago I hit 230. I gained it ALL back and MORE in 6 years.

Now that I made that mistake, I WILL NEVER make it again. We are getting back to my LW and STAYING there fr. (Or getting smaller hehe)