There Are Things I Do Not Say (Trigger warning)
There are things I do not say.
Things that society forbids me to speak of.
Like that I am one of the 44.3 million people in America.
You have unjustifiably prosecuted us for centuries.
There are things I do not say.
Like that we are continuously hunted down by your words.
It’s just a more metaphorical way.
Society says ‘psychopath’ instead of ‘murderer’,
They say ‘that’s so bipolar’
Instead of “You’re being indecisive’,
There are things I do not say.
Like that I was 5 years old,
To take the ‘burden’ from my parents,
Like how I am so thankful,
Could’ve been a prisoner with.
There are things I do not say.
Like the fact that when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was five,
Parents didn’t want their children near me.
Or like how police are poorly trained to handle the mentally ill,
Often shooting them for no reason beyond their own prejudice and fear.
Mentally ill children and teens die from police on the job all the time,
There are things I do not say.
Like the first time a doctor didn’t ask my name.
Like the way they don’t care about me.
Like how I’m often just a few words on a piece of paper.
Like how the psychiatric meds are trial and error.
Like how the doctors don’t know how the medicine works, just that it does,
And so what if it could have dangerous side effects?
There are things I do not say.
Like the way I was told at the age of 12
That god doesn’t make mistakes,
And therefore did not make me.
Like how I was classified as the worst behaved child in the classroom
Before I even stepped in the school for the first time.
Like how you didn’t hear my 10 year old voice
When I screamed and sobbed in my room,
There are things I do not say,
Like how my rights for HIPAA,
Were violated by my teachers,
And despite the bullying that insued,
Nobody would do anything.
Like how when I begged my teacher
To listen when I was sexually humiliated
She thought I was attention seeking.
Like how I was sexually assaulted,
And no one cared until my parents
There are things I do not say.
Things society forbids me to speak of.
So many things I do not say.
That I can’t list them all
And they are killing me inside.
I’m sick of being invisible!
And so I’m showing my scars
The unspeakable’s stories.
The mentally ill’s stories.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things I do not say.
There are things that I will say.
