Ichigo Thoughts

Strawberry/Ichigo Thoughts that go through the minds of individuals.

[michellebmakeup]

Time to Grow Up.

Do you ever observe all those around you and think “why me?” Why is everyone capable of just living whilst I’m the one constantly messing up. Everything I do is just mistake after stupid mistake. Horrible decisions. Horrible people. I want to just be like everyone else. Be happy. Not be constantly plagued with feelings of anxiety and regret. If only there was a way we could reset it all. Rewind…

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[real-demons]

Yeah. No. It’s not getting better.

/ (via real-demons)

[anartfreak]

[ichigothoughts]

You are a piece of shit, and that’s all that you will ever be. It doesn’t matter how hard you work or how much effort you put into anything, you’ll always be the piece of shit that your parents always said you were. You’re fucking worthless; a waste of time and effort. You’re a sorry excuse of a human being. All this time alive, and you’ve got nothing to show for yourself. Nothing. Look around you. Everyone is either graduating or has already graduated. Yet here you are, struggling to pay rent and your bills. You really are a hopeless fuck. You don’t deserve to live. Just go crawl in a ditch and die like the dog you are. You’re not wanted here. Everyone leaves and that’s just how it is. You’ll always end up alone like you always have been. You’re an undeserving mess. 

[ichigothoughts]

This Silence Kills

This silence kills It’s inside my head, it’s gotten too loud I can hear all the thoughts, I can hear myself think My ears are ringing, bleeding, I can hear myself screaming This silence it kills, this silence is loud It pours into my head, sinking into my thoughts I try do drown it with distracting sounds, but nothing ever really works It cuts through all the music, my thoughts are blaring I’m starting to hate myself, I hate my guts, I hate my soul I hate who I’ve become, how I’ve become an empty shell I’ve given pieces of myself, I gave a lot, so few remain I wonder if these pieces mean, what fragments of myself still stays I’m drowning in the thoughts I have, this silence slowly pulls me down It drowns me in the icy cold, the depths of where my demons are kept I gasp for air, inflate my lungs, with hatred for what I have become I need someone, I need them now, to save me from what I’ve become The self-hate hurts, but still it stays I hate these thoughts that fill my head, what loneliness I have right now It slowly sinks in like a knife, a searing pain throughout my body Once more I sit with these dark thoughts, they ring like bells inside my ear It’s gotten loud, inside my head, I hear my thoughts, they resonate This silence brings the demons out, they’re wreaking havoc in my head Once more, I say this silence is loud, I hear my thoughts This silence kills

[ichigothoughts]

Haven't Seen You in a While...

And so we meet again. I haven't seen you in a while, Depression. My, my, where have you been? Come to make me feel like shit again? You know you're welcome to do so, anytime. You sure do know how to make me feel the worst. Slit my wrists open? Yeah, I would, but I'm not there yet. I made a promise to someone, even though they hurt me a lot without even knowing it. Drink my problems away? Yeah, I would, but there is a disturbing lack of presence of alcohol in this house. Plus I'm going out driving tonight, and I don't wanna be that asshole that gets other people hurt. My problem is my own, and I don't want to drag innocent bystanders with me. Feel like smoking? Actually, yes I do. I have been for a while now. Is smoking bad for me? Yes, of course it is. Duh. Stupid question. Well, it could be worse for me because I have asthma, but who cares? I sure as hell don't. Do i feel like doing any other form of self harm? Why yes. Certainly. I want to fucking kill myself again. Isn't that nice? It's getting pretty bad, that even my new friends are starting to catch on to it. Should I kill myself again? Well... After 2 previous attempts that seem to have failed, it seems pretty pointless. Or is it? I don't know. Maybe I should just pull the trigger, instead of being a pansy-ass little bitch and overdosing on prescription medications like Vicodin or something like that. But, even now, as I contemplate death, I'm still too scared to do it. Guess I'm just not ready for it yet, huh? Or maybe I just wanna keep being a pansy little bitch and take the least painful way out. Yeah... sounds like me, all right. Well, depression. You're more than welcome to stay as long as you want. Shit, I'm starting do doubt my self-worth again, thanks to you. I'm willing to say that it's a safe bet to say that no one will miss me when I'm gone. People probably won't even notice I'm gone. Huh... Imagine that. Maybe I'll be able to live up to what some people have been calling me in high school. A shadow... Something that won't be missed when it's gone. 

[ichigothoughts]

Not the Best One

I know I'm not the best boyfriend out there. The person I'm with could do so much better. I'm just so useless. I don't know why she even sticks around with a fucking loser like me. I try my best to keep her happy, but I guess it's just not enough. I'm never enough. I'll never be enough to keep anyone happy. I can barely keep myself happy. What good am I? I can't be a good person to myself, so what made me think that I'd be a good person to someone else? I'm just a joke. This whole thing is a joke. She's dating a worthless piece of shit. She deserves someone better. I mean, fuck, it feels like she's forced to let me go out with my friends or do the things I want to do. She should just date someone who shares more of her interests. I'm just some piece of shit who just likes cars too much as a hobby. Whatever, I'm just ranting now. I'll just leave this here. Just... Fuck me..

[mylinae]

You don’t mind being alone as long as you still have someone to call, as long as people still remember your name. But when you find out that your name brings up nothing but emptiness in the minds of people, and your contact list is nothing but meaningless names, that’s when you start being afraid. I wonder why we always have to have a backup plan, or person for that matter, in order to be brave. 

[lh-loveletters]

[alienships-deactivated20141009]

I’m sorry…

[ichigothoughts]

You really know how to fuck up, don't you? You finally had something going and you just fucked it up. Way to go, asshole. You just broke your girlfriend's vase. All because you were too fucking excited to use those new headsets you brought, you forgot your laptop was plugged into the HDMI of her tv. Now look what you did. You fucking broke her vase. You really are a fuck-up.I don't know how she puts up with your bullshit. I'm surprised she hasn't already left you, you piece of shit. You don't deserve her. Fucking loser. 

[gcn1nja]

lalala

girlprend hacking <3  hey babe, you forgot to log out from my laptop. pwahaha derp.  08.13.13 11:01pm

[ichigothoughts]

Giving Up

It's over. How worthless I've been my entire life. I manage to ruin everything and anything good that ever happens to me. I should have changed for the better quicker, and not take my time with it. I've probably broken the ties with my significant other. Fucked things up and made it harder on myself to make everything work. Great job. There really isn't anything left for me. I've got nothing left to lose. The only great thing in my life, and I fucked that up, too. This sorry fucker needs to go, before anything else gets ruined. Before anyone else gets hurt. It's time to put an end to this miserable life.

[helpmybroknhead]

blow me. | via Tumblr on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/58519941/via/allie_shinoda

[thrilling-nightmare]

[vesperapaine]

Go ahead, try and save me. I’m already dead inside.

[ichigothoughts]

Times like these that I wish I wasn't so fucking stupid. I need to be a better person. I'm an asshole. I deserve punishment. Fuck you Ichigo. You're fucking stupid. Just fucking pay them what you can and stop spending fucking money on food. You've gone days without eating much. Fucking do that. You little shit.