iCHOCOLATIC

To be or not to be: that is the question.

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Dear Readers, Because Tumblr is officially banned from Indonesia, I moved to Wixsite so it will be more accessible for me to write stuffs. Check out my latest articles there :) Thanks! Deborah K.

[ichocolatic]

Fall of the Mighty She

Power

Independence

Creativity

Authority

I'm a raging sea

Knowing no borders

Nor limitations

I strive for power

My own space to reign

My own place to claim

I worship independence

To be rebellious and free

To see no one but me

I indulge in creativity

Like nicotine and addictives

Like smoke and sedatives

I live on my own authority

Maybe, if can, for eternity

Till I'm of the last entity

I'm beautiful and young

Prideful and thickheaded

Near nineteen plus one

Careless, inexperienced

I want it all to myself

Leave others as they be

No words exist like "we"

But "Strong and Mighty She"

Yet somehow I know

Weakness tends to show

I choose to ignore

The sins that I bore

It was a race to the top

None can make me stop

Yet thunderbolt casts me down

I fell - a wingless clown

Power

Independence

Creativity

Authority

All is still mine

'But now there's no "me",'

Said the humble she

As the Father touched my soul

He bids farewell to my old ghoul

I was brought to The Mirror

A sharp vision then appears

The Mighty She was

No more

Long gone

Forgone

She's still the raging sea

Still knowing no borders

Nor those limitations

But this time

She preserves power

Her own space to train

Her own place to aid

She governs independence

And was filled with liberity

And looked up to chastity

She masters creativity

Like a royal rider

Like a valiant sailor

She bows to The Authority

The unshakable King of Eternity

The First and Last of entity

Renewed, transformed was my soul

I bid farewell to my old ghoul

Rising, answering the glorious call

Is the end of my mighty fall

---

Deborah Kalauserang

18 February 2018

Jogjakarta

[ichocolatic]

The Woman I Am by Absent Wryta Some say I am a strong woman Some tell me I am a brave woman Some think I should be more of a woman Some will tell you I'm a good woman While some think I'm not much of a woman Or at all like any woman they ever knew And that I could be so much more But all I am is a woman All I am is my woman I am the woman I can be  The one I want to be Not the one I should be, could be, would be Not so much more, too much like, or nearly so #womensmarch #vsco #minimalistics #aesthetictumblr #peopleinframe #viaualscollective #photosinbetween #mybeigelife #palepalmcollection

[hiddlesy]

[ichocolatic]

Dear Beloved,

Don't let me fall. Keep me steady. Keep me strong. Protect me in my waithood.

Jogjakarta

January 15, 2018

[ichocolatic]

The Importance of English Language in Indonesia’s Economic Growth

One of the essays I submit for my department’s annual classmeeting competition, with the theme ‘The Importance of English Language in Indonesia’ if I’m not mistaken hahaha. I did this essay in 4 hours with totally no idea what I’m writing. At first I doubt writing stuff relating to Economics because I suck at that. But I figured out that no English Literature kids will touch those stuff. So yeah, it’s a great advantage for me but costs blood and sweat to compose it hahaha! And the result is pretty satisfying because I got 2nd prize and with the money all to my self of course ;)  HAHAHA. Joking. I’m a generous girl. 

The Importance of English Language in Indonesia’s Economic Growth

E. Deborah Kalauserang

Language is an essential part of a nation. As stated by James W. Tollefson, language is one of the fundamental forces that unifies individuals and gives them a collective identity. It is like a net, connecting different individuals into a giant map of integration. Without language, people will not be able to communicate or convey their ideas, like what you and I do everyday. Language holds a crucial place in every country, and the excellence of it is really needed when an economic trade is in the process.

The only thing that needs to be questioned is the readiness of a country in facing this stage. What if that certain country fails to obtain the most essential tool of economic trade—the international language? This is what our country, Indonesia, is currently experiencing. Indonesia has insufficient ability in mastering the English language to compete with other foreign investors, especially with countries that are affiliated with ASEAN Economic Community (AEC). In my personal opinion, Indonesia needs to excell in the English language field in order to compete in ASEAN’s international economic trade.

For the readers who know my background, you may wonder why a student of English Literature like me writes about the relation of the english language with our country’s economics. Well, the reason is very simple. As Indonesians, we need to be aware of what our country is experiencing financially and that we can help to solve it together. It doesn’t mean that by being a student of literature doesn’t have anything to do with economics. Actually, it’s the other way around. Later as you read on, you will see when we will enter the picture.

Before getting to the problem, let’s take a look at what AEC is. The goal of the AEC is to further regional economic integration. It aims to accomplish this by freeing up the flow of goods, services, investment, and skilled labor, and allowing freer movement of capital. This will establish a single market and production base in the Association of South East Asian Nations or ASEAN (Losari and Koesnaidi, 2013). In other words, AEC allows the southeast asia countries and Indonesia to trade with each other easily, either by facilitating the investors, making the import taxes free or sending skilled workers into the country Indonesia is working with. That’s why nowadays you often observe so many foreign people or investors are pouring in, even various famous overseas corporation (whose names I will not mention) are opening themselves in Indonesia.

Indonesia has AEC running in the country since December 31, 2015 or the beginning of 2016. Seven sectors of workforce had been opened for Indonesia, which are the medical field, nursing field, engineering field, dentistry field, accounting field, survey personell field and tourism field. Surprisingly, Indonesia was only able to master 2 out of these seven sectors.

That fact above is actually quite shocking. Come to think of it, our country will have more than 260 million population by this year as predicted by the statistic body belonging to the government. What’s more, Indonesia will have 290 population by the year 2050—which already adds 30 million people only in the gap of 33 years. You can see that our country is the main target for foreign investments since there are so many people living in here. But what I’m trying to say is that, how come such a big, potential country failed to dominate all the seven sectors offered by AEC?

Here is the answer. It turned out that Indonesia’s workforce aren’t well equipped yet with the ability and fluency to master the English language. As it is reported by Antara News’ editor, Ade Marboen, the Indonesian professional workers’ international language usage and thinking skills only reached up to 44 percent and 33 percent. This is quite a big deal since other countries such as Malaysia and Thailand are also competing along with Indonesia in the sector of dentistry, while Singapore in accounting. If Indonesia fails to go after other country’s standards in mastering English, she will lose grip in these two sectors that holds the main wheel of Indonesia’s economics in the southeast asia.

On December 2016, EF English First Global announced that Indonesia ranked the 32nd postion out of 72 countries while participating in the global survey of English Proficiency Index—EPI (Tribun News, 2016). It is a shock that Indonesia only scored 52.91 in the EF EPI test, unsucessful to go into the top 15 English speaking countries that includes Malaysia, Philippines and even Vietnam that ranked number 31. This recent results proved that Indonesia is not ready yet to face the sudden wave of economic globalization.

Personally for me, I view that the English language has not become a culture in Indonesia. It’s really different when I come to visit the Philippines, because almost everyone can speak the international language although their economic stability is below Indonesia’s (no ofense). It is also the same case like Malaysia or Singapore (except that our economic condition is now below them). These countries all have something in common—they are greatly influenced by prominent, English-speaking nations. “Culture is both a product and a producer of language. Likewise, language is a product and a producer of culture,” said Daniel Everett in his book, Language: A Cultural Tool. The English language is something that needs to be started in Indonesia.

This is where we, as students of English Literature, can enter the picture to contribute to Indonesia’s readiness in facing the economic globalization. How can the english-speaking culture be established in our country? There are several things that can help us contribute to Indonesia’s ability in mastering the international language.

We need to be aware that an early English language education makes a great impact, and we can be a part of it. There is a great difference between children who learn english since kindgergarten and children who learn it when they are in elementary or junior high. Michael Gove, a Secretary of States for Education (coming from the British Conservative Party), states that children should be thaught foreign languages from the age of 5. This is one of the character of an advanced country. I agree with him because my parents taught me english since I was about that age. They encouraged me to write journal entries everyday or buy me english books. Now I feel its benefit and can write this essay because I’m used to that language already. Can you imagine, what will happen to Indonesia now if there are 260 million people in this country who has been brought up the same way as me? We will be fully fit to compete with other AEC countries. What Indonesia need is more people to teach and help the young generation to master this langue, and as  English Literature students, we are definitely qualified to be a part of it.

English is a matter of lifestyle. We meet english everywhere when we open our phone, when we are looking for references, when we communicate with foreign people or even when we work in the office. It is no longer seen as a privilege belonging to those who are able to obtain it, but it is now a mandatory need for everyone. With the globalization hitting our era, it is nearly impossible to eliminate English since it is spoken as a first language by around 400 million people around the world (as stated by British Study Centres School of English). This is the reason why we need to build the english speaking culture starting by using it daily with the people around us and familiarize ourselves with it.

We want to see Indonesia grow and to compete excellently with other countries in ASEAN’s international economic trade. Several may think that using the language of the mother tongue is enough, but it is not. “Only 8 percent of the Indonesians can speak english properly and correctly. (She) is a developing country and still have to follow the international world that makes english as the international language... it means that if a nation is able to speak english, they can communicate with other nations that will result an economic growth, education growth and technology progress,”  quoted Ignatius Untung, the Marketing Director of English First. That is how language works as the main propeller of a nation’s growth.

If we want to see change and progress in our country, let us start doing what we can. It is no coincidence that we are in the English Literature department. I believe that by giving the best of us, we are able to contribute to our nation. As stated before, we are given the chance to take part in teaching the international language to the younger generation or helping to establish the english speaking culture. We can conclude that by mastering the english language, Indonesia will be able to go beyond the international economic boundaries and be a part of the modern globalization.

References

Tollefson, James W. 2013. Language Policies in Education. New York: Routledge

Everett, Daniel. Language: The Cultural Tool. London: Profile, 2012. Print.

Gunawan, Hendra. “Kemampuan Bahasa Inggris Masyarakat Indonesia Masih Rendah.” Tribun News. Web. 9 December. 2016. <http://www.tribunnews.com/nasional/2016/12/09/kemampuan-bahasa-inggris-masyarakat-indonesia-masih-rendah>.

Sanusi. “Bahasa Inggris Bisa Jadi Kendala Indonesia untuk Hadapi MEA.” Tribun Bisnis. Web. 26 September. 2014. <http://www.tribunnews.com/bisnis/2014/09/26/bahasa-inggris-bisa-jadi-kendala-indonesia-untuk-hadapi-mea>.

KEMENKEU. “Free Trade Agreement (FTA) dan Economic Partnership Agreement (EPA), dan Pengaruhnya terhadap Arus Perdagangan dan Investasi dengan Negara Mitra.” Kementrian Keuangan Republik Indonesia. Web. 24 October. 2013. <https://www.kemenkeu.go.id/Kajian/free-trade-agreement-fta-dan-economic-partnership-agreement-epa-dan-pengaruhnya-terhadap-arus>.

Wintour, Patrick. “Michael Gove Proposes Teaching Foreign Languages from Age Five.” The Guardian. Web. 30 September. 2011. <https://www.kemenkeu.go.id/Kajian/free-trade-agreement-fta-dan-economic-partnership-agreement-epa-dan-pengaruhnya-terhadap-arus>.

Losari, Junianto James. “Is Indonesia Up for the ASEAN Economic Community 2015?”. Asia Regional Integration Center. Web. 18 June. 2013. <https://aric.adb.org/blog/is-indonesia-up-for-the-asean-economic-community-2015>.

HEN/HDS. “JK: Masyarakat Ekonomi ASEAN Berlaku 31 Desember 2015.” Detik Finance. Web. 30 January. 2015. <https://finance.detik.com/berita-ekonomi-bisnis/2819778/jk-masyarakat-ekonomi-asean-berlaku-31-desember-2015>.

BSC. “10 Reasons to Learn English.” British Study Centres. Web. 23 July. 2013. <https://www.british-study.com/blog/2013/07/10-reasons-to-learn-english/>.

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Intro Lecture: Blues & Defining Blues (Summary)

Blues is a kind of music created by the black people. It was formed in the times of the African slavery. It also started in the south of the United States, where there were many black people that were forced to labor as slaves. Blues is also known as ‘The Devil’s Music’ because of the blacks’ folklore that revolves around blues music and crossroads, symbolising the meeting point of the spiritual and physical worlds. This is shown in the film ‘Crossroads’ when the main character strikes a deal with the devil in order to be known in the blues world. Those who sing this genre are called as bluesmen and blueswomen.  Blues is all about pride, confidence, sexual power and self-assertion as a cultural resistance against the color discrimination.

This music genre has specific characteristics that stand out. It is personal music that belongs to the blacks that expresses their despair, hope, cultural resistance and many others. Blues is easily identified by its spontaneity, bent notes, off-tune melodies and its inviting nuance for the audience to join in.

Jazz and soul genre are able to be described by the characteristic of blues. Jazz mostly emphasizes soloists, improvisations, and personally inflected sounds. However, jazz is not a kind of music which the audience can participate but only to listen. The genre soul is also similiar to blues music because it represents the ‘Southern dream’, the longing of the slaves for freedom, and also draw the attention of the white people.

There are several influential figures of blues singers between 1945-63. First, he is Muddy Waters or McKinley Morganfield. One of his known songs is entitled as ‘Hoochie Coochie Man’. The Rolling Stones wanted to meet him so bad many times, hence Muddy Waters got really famous because of that. He successfully established his carreer as a singer and managed to lighten his burden of life as a sharecropper’s son. The second iconic singer was Koko Taylor who was greatly influenced by Muddy Waters. This queen of Chicago blues wrote a song called ‘I’m A Woman’ that seems to answer back the song ‘Hoochie Coochie Man’.

Blues became one of the important genres of music.  Blues is also a living proof of the blacks’ dark history that allows listeners to ‘see’ the past misery that these people experienced.

Semester 3 Culture of English Speaking Nations

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Movie Study: In The Name of The Father

This is a paper for my Culture of English Nations class which talks about the racism that occurs in Ireland during the the IRA bombings. So, our professor played us this movie in class and I really liked it! Enjoy reading the movie summary and analysis! 

MOVIE SUMMARY

In The Name of the Father is a thriller drama movie based on the true story of the imprisoned Guildford Four, the suspects of IRA Guildford bombing who were innocent.  

There was a young man named Gerry Conlon (Daniel Day-Lewis) who lived a messy life. His father, Giuseppe (Pete Postlethwaite) sent him to London from Belfast with the hope that his son would obtain a better life, away from creating riots. But it turned out that Gerry Conlon, who was now in London, robbed from a prostitute while living together in a shabby building with his hippie friends. He returned to Belfast after wasting his dirty money by buying himself fancy things.

Gerry Conlon and his family were suddenly arrested. First, the police went after Gerry middle of the night with his family having no idea what really happened. Shortly after that, Gerry’s family followed along with 3 of his hippie friends. It turned out that they were convicted under the Prevention of Terrorism Act by the British government. They were suspected for the Guildford pub bombing that occurred in October 5, 1974, with the evidence of Gerry’s existence that was not far away from the location when the incident happened. The IRA-associated suspects were tortured and forced to confess of the crime they didn’t perform. Gerry, his family, and his 3 friends were sentenced to prison with false accusations.

For 15 years, the innocent Guildford suspects were imprisoned. Gerry and his father were placed in the same cell and was helped by Gareth Peirce (Emma Thompson), a human rights lawyer, to fight for the dismissal of their false accusations of the Guildford bombing case in the court. They also met the person, who confessed to be the real Guildford bomber, in that same prison. After some series of hectic events, Giuseppe Conlon passed away in jail due to his lung disease. At first, Gerry was devastated for the loss of his father, but soon regained his strength to fight for the Guildford 4 campaign.

Finally, deliverance for the innocent victims arrived after 15, long years. A police officer was mistaken to give Gareth Peirce the wrong file that belonged to Gerry Conlon—because after all this time, Peirce was only using Giuseppe's. The solicitor discovered a note stating that the document inside—containing evidence of the suspects' innocence—must never be shown to the court. This matter was brought to the law's hands, with all the suspects present along with the government body who arrested the innocent prisoners. In the end, the truth was uncovered after 15 years. The suspects were proven innocent. The case was finally dismissed and all of the Guildford pub bombing were released from jail.

FILM ANALYSIS

In the film 'In the Name of the Father', many racial discriminations occurs especially towards the people living in Ireland during the times of Irish Republican Army (IRA). The movie portrays the reality of what happened in Britain in 1974. The film exposes the society's dislike towards Irish people. There are two occurrence of discriminatory acts in the movie that are going to be highlighted.

First one is the suspects' imprisonment based on the foundation of racial dislike and single-sided judgement. One of the reasons the Guildford Four were put to jail was because they were Irish. Commonly, people in Britain associate this race with drunkards, temperamental people and troublemakers. At that time, the 1974 Prevention of Terrorism Act in UK allowed the government to arrest suspects without strong evidences to prove that they are related to provisional IRA (Irish Republican Army). This is shown by Gareth Peirce's statement in minute 121 of the movie. She proved her clients' innocence and reveals the alibi that was kept away for years (that was not to be shown to the defense) by saying, “you got 15 years of blood and sweat from my client whose only crime was that he was Irish.” This kind of discrimination is categorized as an automatic discrimination:

People’s default automatic reactions to outgroup members represent unconscious prejudice that may be expressed nonverbally or lead to racial avoidance, which, in turn, may create a hostile, discriminatory environment. Such automatic reactions have also been shown to lead to automatic forms of stereotype-confirming behavior (Bargh et al., 1996; Chen and Bargh, 1997)... People spontaneously view their own ingroups (but not the outgroup) in a positive light, attributing its strengths to the essence of what makes a person part of the ingroup (genes being a major example). The outgroup’s alleged defects are used to justify these behaviors.

(" 4 Theories of Discrimination." National Research Council. 2004. Measuring Racial Discrimination. Washington, DC: The National Academies Press. doi: 10.17226/10887)

Another kind of discrimination that occurs in the movie is verbal antagonism.This 'includes casual racial slurs and disparaging racial comments, either in or out of the target’s presence. By themselves such comments may not be regarded as serious enough to be unlawful (balanced against concerns about freedom of speech), but they constitute a clear form of hostility,' according to National Research Council's 4 Theories of Discrimination. It is proved in the movie, minute 68, when Gerry Conlon and his father enters the jail's cafeteria. Several of the prisoners have great dislike for these Irish people because they thought the Guildford Four were the actual bombers. One of them spoke to his friend and remarked the Conlons as “Irish bastards” and “Irish scum”.

From these two discriminatory acts, we can conclude that racial stereotyping is the main propeller of the movie's background. We can see that prejudice leads to fatal failures and errors. Verbal antagonism and automatic discrimination can take away innocent people's right for freedom and equality under the law, like what happened to the Guildford bombing case for the Irish suspects in 1974.

Semester 3 Culture of English Speaking Nations

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To Kill a Mockingbird

Hello people! Here’s a paper of my final exam in my 3rd semester for Introduction to Literature class. I’ll be posting my essays for a while here (it’s a data cleanup to prepare 4th semester hahaha). Enjoy reading it. I hope it helps you guys who are working on this book!

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (BOOK REPORT)

Introduction to Literature—Final  Exam Book Report

To Kill Mockingbird by Harper Lee New York, Grand Central Publishing December 1982 (1st mass market edition) 376 pages

Summary

How to Kill a Mockingbird tells about the lives of two kids, named Jeane Louise “Scout” Finch and her brother, Jeremy “Jem” Finch. They are the  children of the lawyer Atticus Finch. They also had a friend named Dill who always comes over to Scout’s hometown in Maycomb, Alabama every summer. Three of them often went to Mr. Arthur Radley’s place because they were curious of him and never saw “Boo” (Arthur) out of the house. People said that he is such a violent person who once stabbed his father’s leg with a pair of scissors. However, as times passed by, Jem and Scout often found delightful things such as gum or wooden miniatures of themselves in a Boo’s tree trunk.

As Jem and Scout matured, they experienced many things. Atticus became the lawyer of a negroe man named Tom Robinson, who was accused of raping the daughter of Bob Ewell—Mayella. While Atticus was helping Robinson out of his case, Jem and Scout faced tauntings and mockeries by their closest people because their “nigger-lover” father was standing up for a negroe. Jem, Scout and Dill witnessed the trial of Robinson and were very shocked to know that he was sentenced to jail although the verdict clearly states his innocence. A few days later, Robinson was shot dead for escaping from the jail. The children, who at first believed in the goodness of Maycomb folks, began to understand the racism and prejudice that actually happened around them. Bob Ewell was humiliated in the court and revenged his grudge by threating to kill several people, including hurting Jem and Scout after their halloween performance. Someone saved both of the kids, and it turned out that it was the mysterious Boo Radley—he did it by stabbing Ewell’s knife into the owner’s ribs. While Jem was lying unconcious in his bed, the sheriff declared that Ewell died of because he fell on his own knife (although the sheriff knew the actual truth). Atticus later told Scout why the little lie have to be told. Scout understood it perfectly because putting someone innocent like Robinson or Radley in trial means a sin, like shooting down a singing mockingbird.

Main Character (Scout)

The most prominent main character of this book is Atticus’ daughter, Scout. Since the book is written in her first-person narrative, it is quite easy to identify her personalities. First of all, she is a tomboy. It is clearly seen from the chapters that she often got in a fight with boys like her cousin Francis Finch or even her brother Jem. Even sometimes Jem complained about Scout not being too girly. Second, Scout is a brave girl. She was brave enough to barge into the Radley place, following after Atticus when the angry mob (Mr. Heck Tate and friends) was going to hurt her father and going into the court when the trial of Robinson was going on. Third, she was also a person who tried to see things from a different point of view. It is shown when she asked Calipurnia if Scout could visit her home to see Calipurnia’s other side of the world. Scout also tried to see Maycomb from Boo Radley’s point of view by standing on his doorstep in the end of the book.

Setting of Time and Place

The story took place around the 1930s in Maycomb County, Alabama in United States. There are no exact dates of the year, but the book mentioned the name of a famous baseball player  Dixie Howell who played for the University of Alabama from 1932-1934. Racism was also very high in Alabama since the fictional Maycomb was located in the South, the place of the blacks’ slavery. The plot of the story is very clear about the white’s common hatred towards the blacks. Lynchings of the black people also often occured around that time. That was why Atticus went to Tom Robinson’s jail at night by car because he knew that the mob would try to hurt his client as Dill, Jem and Scout followed Atticus.

Theme and Message

For me, the major theme that is clearly seen in this book is about racism. This is my theme statement: the author believes that racism is a sin like shooting down an innocent mockingbird. One of its messages is that goodness still exists in people who believes in humanity, like Atticus and Scout.

Outstanding Element of the Work

In my opinion, the most outstanding element of the work is Scout and Jem’s language. At first, I did not expect that the narrator was only a girl around 8 years old because the words that she used were too heavy for her age. However, later I understood the reason why she and her brother could talk in such a way.

Born and raised as a lawyer’s children, Jem and Scout are familiar to law terms. Sometimes when Scout is narrating the story, she would use court terms or sometimes political ones to deliver a simple idea. This occured in several parts of the story. There was this one time when Scout held herself back from fighting with Cecil Jacobs and she said this: “I wouldn’t fight publicly for Atticus, but the family was private ground.” The same thing also happened when she felt Calipurnia’s involvement in her life rather disturbing. Here is Scout’s description of her: “She (Calipurnia) had been with us ever since Jem was born, and I had felt her tyrannical presence as long as I could remember.” I am also amazed how Jem was able to follow the trial of Tom Robinson when I had to re-read and re-connect the clues that leads to the falldown of Bob Ewell. It is shown when Jem whispered “we’ve got him,” as Atticus exposed Bob Ewell’s clearest evidence of hitting Mayella, which is his left-handedness.

* * *

[rachelmellema]

[ichocolatic]

Dear Beloved,

I am grateful that you are a person who loves the Lord, a great husband to love me, a caring father to the kids, a helpful man who would fix the roof, a kind man who makes your dog a best companion, a good cook that tries new recipes every month, and most of all... an imperfect man that fixes your mistakes and lives life to the fullest. I am overjoyed that the Lord picks the best man for me although we haven't met yet.

January 2, 2018

Jogjakarta

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Dear Beloved,

The first thing I will ask when you ask me out will be, "give me 3 reasons why." And I pray to God that you will find out that there is only one reason for us to be together.

January 1, 2018

Jogjakarta

[ichocolatic]

LOVE OURSELVES OR LOVE OTHERS FIRST?

Day #008

Monday, November 20 2017

One night, I was opening my Instagram and checking out one of my friend’s stories. It was 12 in the morning and I was super sleepy. In a few seconds, my screen was filled with her complaints of life. And there she typed a super long lecture about loving ourselves first then loving others. I frowned as my fingers tapped the edge of the screen, digesting all the words silently. Her words preoccupied my thoughts which immediately took my drowsiness away. At first, I disagreed with her point of view. But then, I came to realization that this is what the world is currently experiencing.

Love yourself. I bet you’re familiar with that term, right? Nowadays people often have this love-yourself thing and expects that others will come to respect you when you respect yourself.The world has slowly changes our definition of love and respect—without us realizing it—as it is echoed in songs, films and various articles.

But the reality is that God wants it different. We can never get the respect we want from people whom we are jealous of when we don't give it to them first. We cannot be loved by those whom we dislike (or even hurt us) like we want to when we don't give our love first. This is what I John 4:19 says about it: we love because He first loved us. It’s just the same when Christ comes down to the world to redeem our sins, and to mingle with those who are dark and unholy like us.

It is a sad reality because so many people are lost in the dark. That is the reason why people care about themselves so much. No one comes to them first. That’s why they are hurt and unprotected. Imagine if you are lost and cannot find your way back home, then some stranger came to you and took all your things away. Naturally, you will protect yourself first because you have no one by your side—in other words, alone. There is no other choice but to love ourselves when we are alone.

Everything becomes different when we receive Jesus as our personal savior. In him, we experience a new life, a new heart and a new love.

God values us first when we think of ourselves as these 'self-respecting' people with mere prides of life (that becomes our own center of universe). God loves us first when we think highly of ourselves and look down on people whom we have issues with. Can you imagine if you deal with the same person with the same issue over and over again? Will you not be bored of him? Of course, yes. When you see his name popping up in your screen notifications, will you not think of something like, “oh man, it’s that person again with the same issue. God, why does he always shows up in my life? I’m tired!” The interesting thing is that Jesus never gets bored with us. He never says, “Sorry, I don’t have time with you now.” God comes for us first, so we have to come to others first before going to ourselves.

People can claim that this is only a matter of subjective and personal opinion, but I say that this is the real concept of lifestyle God wants us to have. Just look around you and see the proof. Employees get promoted when they respect their boss and serve the customers with their humble hearts. A president gets to be loved by the nation when he value and prioritize his people first. That is supposed to be the real definition of respect and love.

What the people and media has been teaching us is the wrong thing all along. God designs us to be the example. The first initiator. The difference among the rest. The light in the dark. When we start to put others first before our lives, we are rewarded with the things we desire in our hearts, either it is respect or love from others. What makes us a great person is not because of what we do towards others, but the cause—based on the conviction of  the ultimate Source of Truth—behind our actions. We are a reflection of what we believe. It's only a matter of our own choice: who do we want to be?

[ichocolatic]

Shared with Dropbox

Download the full The Sound of Music musicians’ manual here by going to my dropbox link. 

The song credits goes to the Rogers & Hammerstein’s play, The Sound of Music 2015 that was performed in UK. This is only a guidebook that I made during my campus’ play performance for the musicians to read. And it doesn’t contain any musical notes, but just basic chords and when the music should enter between the dialogues. So please use it according to your need and it’s not for any commercial or plagiarism purpose. Please also pay attention to any mistakes that I wrote, because it hasn’t been fully checked again. Thanks and enjoy :)

[ichocolatic]

THROUGH THE FIRE

Day #007

Friday, September 15 2017

Have you ever feel drained before? Like, emotionally and mentally drained? Well, I often feel like that when I got tight schedule or busy with my life. I would sleep around 12 AM and woke up around 5.30. Then, I would take a quick bath, dress and eat my breakfast in the car on the way to the campus. I usually arrived home around 2 or 3 PM if there are no extracurricular activities. If there are, then I would be home at 5 or 6. I would do some house cleaning, have dinner and study until it was late night. Before sleeping, I would take a look at my phone to check my friends' status on Instagram, Facebook or Line. If it's weekend, then I would be busy teaching at school all day and then have music practice with my friends until night. This kind of life sometimes tires me. I felt like I was walking in circles and wanted to have an emotional breakdown, because I couldn't take it anymore—especially when I am going through tough situations with all the pressure trying to take me down.

This is what I call 'the fire'. It's tribulations and the hardships of life, all stacking up into a huge, tall pile of ugly mess. If we don't survive walking through it, we'll be dead for good. Burnt to ashes. I know that everyone has their own struggle with life and that they've also experience the moment where they want to break down.  

But what I want to say is that God allows these situations to happen. He can prove that he is for us each time something bad happens to us. Jesus wants us to know that he exists among the chaos of life. He sees what we've been through. He sees our tears, our laughs, our ups and downs. He's testing us whether we remain faithful to him or not whenever we feel like knocked down by life.

Okay, back to the point.

Last night I opened my Bible. It has been weeks I haven't read God's word from the printed book. I usually followed the daily Bible plan I got on my phone. I am reading about how to have the heart of mission for our own city, but I was not something I currently need. I was drained like I've said before, and wondered what God wants to say to me. I know I need him. I was reminded by my mentor's words that said our personal relationship with God is way more important than our discipleship ministry. Because when we are drained, we cannot let others drink from our life. So I asked God, what he wants from my life. And he answered my thoughts as I read from I Peter 1 (sorry for the long intro hahaha).

Here are the points I got last night:

1. God sees our genuine faith.

“that the genuiness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes...” (I Peter 1:7)

Though we are going to hard, hard, hardships (tough moments bruhh), he sees our faith and endurance that are being tested by the fire. He values our faith more than gold, than the richess the world can offer. He himself knows that keeping the faith in Him is not easy, especially when we cannot see what we believe. But once we keep our faith, the end point is salvation and eternal life.

“Though you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory...receiving the end of your faith—salvation of your souls.” (I Peter 1:8)

“The just shall live by faith.” (Romans 1:17)

2. Remember that we are bought with a price.

“...knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ as of a lamb without spot.” (I Peter 1:18-19)

“You are not your own, you are bought with a price.” (I Corinthians 6:19b-20a)

God wants us to remember that we are redeemed and free when we receive His salvation. Our life matters to Him, and we cannot forget this fact when we are going through the fire. Whenever we feel like giving up, remember who we are. Remember that our life is precious in God's eyes and cannot be wasted just like that.

3. Our life and faith is to honor God.

“...it is tested by fire... to praise, honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (I Peter 1:7)

God wants us to praise, honor and glorify him with our life. While we are walking through the fire with God, give everything we have to him including leaving our worldly lusts behind.

“Not conforming yourselves to the former lusts... but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, 'be holy, for I am holy.'” (I Peter 1:14-16)

It means that we are responsible with our actions while fulfilling his purpose. This sounds so hard right? But the good thing is that Jesus wants to know that he will help us going through this process with his grace until the end of time.

“Rest your hope fully upon the grace...” (I Peter 1:13) “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

After going through the points I've written down, I was amazed. Wow. God really answers my thoughts and knows my needs. The verses popped out just like that when I was reading it, like Jesus was talking to me himself. He knows exactly what I'm going through, all my struggles I'm currently experiencing.

I can conclude that without our personal relationship with God, we will not survive walking through the fire. The world will destroy who we are little by little, and carries us away unconsciously. It's okay to have a mental breakdown to relief the pressure, but we gotta remember that God is for us and he values our life. It is a journey of faith that we're going through. What matters is that we put God as our number one source of strength and protection. Put your hope in Christ and keep your faith strong. 

You will not be burnt into ashes. You will survive.

[ichocolatic]

My Personal Response to ‘Annexed’ by Sharon Dogar

Sooo this is one of my essays to submit for my writing class’ final exam papers for my 2nd semester in English Letters Department. It’s a personal response to a novel that we picked. I composed this writing for like about 4 hours (with a fixed outline of course) before consulting it with my lecturer. And to my surprise, I wrote it really passionately! I’m glad that I’ve chosen this perfect topic since I enjoy reading historical novels, especially the ones that relate with the Holocaust. Here, I reviewed the novel Annexed written by Sharon Dogar WHICH I TOTALLY, REALLY LOVE AND ALREADY MADE ME CRY LIKE BUCKETS OF TEARS. I’m SO IN LOVE with Peter van Pels when I ‘met’ him in 8th grade, and I thought like ‘hey why don’t I write about this romantic dead dude who loved Anne Frank?’ Then I set my fingers flying over the keyboard, immersing myself into Peter’s world. And of course, cry a lot more over this historical, fictional character. Viel Spaß beim Lesen!

My Personal Response to Annexed by Sharon Dogar

What was it like to hide in a confined space with the hope that the Nazis will not take hold of you? What was it like to love Anne Frank with your entire family watching? And most of all, what was it like for your humanity to be taken away and to be turned into an animal? Peter van Pels experienced it all. Annexed, a young-adult, fiction novel written by Sharon Dogar, retells the story of Anne Frank through the eyes of the boy who hid with her in the attic for two years and whose humanity was stripped off in Nazi's concentration camp. In this book, Sharon Dogar manages to drive her readers into Peter's world to feel his pain, sorrow and longing for freedom. Gripping, captivating and compelling, Annexed succeeds to establish an emotional connection between the main character and readers above 15 years old, people who are studying World War II and those who desire to 'continue' reading Anne Frank's The Diary of a Young Girl.

(Image above: Hannah-Taylor Gordon and Nicholas Audsley as Anne Frank and Peter van Pels in ABC’s Anne Frank: The Whole Story)

Annexed has brought so many people to tears, including me. Peter's perspective has turned all the characters into life and really describes them as humans, unlike their common portrayal as saints of Holocaust. “To some degree, they are almost treated like saints. They were just regular people who hold a very special place in history... I guess because I've shied away fom Anne's story because of its level of sainthood, I hadn't really looked at them as people. Dogar's portrayal of both Peter and Anne are just so human and heart breaking,” stated Anna Scalon (Scalon, 2010), guest editor of Remember.org. Peter's words and description of his thoughts in the annex is so vivid and precise. Because of that, I personally can feel his hatred toward the Nazis for taking away his liberty, his passionate love for Anne and his desire for freedom, specifically his heimweh—longing for home. By doing so, Peter has pushed the readers so far into his realm and unconsciously includes them into his story. For me, I consider it as a sad irony because we all know what is going to happen to him in the end. After surviving the extermination selection in Auschwitz, Peter died in May 5, 1945 just when the Americans liberated his concentration camp in Mauthausen-Gusen. Despite everything, I do not regret to know Peter van Pels through Sharon Dogar's hands, for I believe that he will live forever in all of the readers' hearts. “That is what makes reading this book so hard—you are getting to know and love a person you already know has a horrible fate...regardless, the voice that Sharon Dogar gives her characters will get a grip on you that doesn't let go, even when the story is over.” (Allison, 2010)

(image above: Geoff Breton played as Peter van Pels in BBC’s The Diary of Anne Frank)

The author elaborates her work with important, moving words from Peter's mouth and nails them in the readers' mind to keep him alive. She manages to explain how it is like to be a Jew in the Holocaust as Peter poured his thoughts by saying “...maybe I’m ashamed because it’s hard not to feel ashamed, when just being born is something you can be killed for.” Another phrase that moves me is when he said “...I know that sometimes love is as hard to bear as hate, that it can hurt as much,” describing how the amount of hate for the Germans is the same amount of love his mother had for him. The last quote from Peter is the one that actually pierces my heart so deep when he was dying inside the concentration camp: “...Even if you replace my name with a number, give me no spoon to eat with, or clothes, or shoes to walk in – so that I am forced to live and eat like one. I am not an animal.” That is the part where I am drenched in tears, where I accept the fact that all Jews like Peter still have the light and identity as humans even though they were treated like animals. I am convinced that these quotes perfectly relates the readers to Peter's feelings in a simple yet meaningful words. It also truly exposes how Dogar's detailed portrayal of Nazi's cruelty can break one's heart, as stated by Mandy Southgate in Blogcritics.org: “Gleaming what information she could (find) from historical accounts and camp records, Dogar weaves together a tale of the experiences of the Frank and van Pels families at the hands of Nazis. It is horrific and heart-breaking and I found myself crying throughout the whole of the final section.” (Southgate, 2011)

(Image above: Peter and Anne via isgeschiedenis.nl) 

This book is highly recommended and deserves to be read by specific readers. First, teens aging from 15 above are the ones who are suitable for reading this work. There are several sexual, explicit portrayals like when Peter dreamt that Liese—his Jewish girlfriend—was shot by the Nazi guards in a bare, exposed condition during her persecution in the camp. Another sexual content is when Peter masturbates in the annex, questioning will he ever make love to a girl someday, when Dogar describes that there is “sexual desire (that) uncoils in the dim hiding place...” and also when Anne “...yearned for sexual love,” (Peet, 2010) like what was implied by Anne in several of her diary entries. Second, I recommend this novel to those who are studying about World War II since one cannot learn about it without mentioning the Holocaust and Nazis. Lastly, this book is perfect for those who desire to 'continue' reading Anne Frank's diary that was ended abruptly. I am sure that Anne Frank readers will enjoy Dogar's work immensely and driven into Peter's world, where they can witness the characters not as saints but ordinary people who change the perspective of history.

(Image above: Geoff Breton as Peter van Pels)

Annexed “is not quite a great book, but it is firmly on the side of angels,” as quoted by Mal Peet (Peet, 2010), winner of Guardian's 2009 Children's Fiction Prize. It is a living story full of trials, tribulations, passion and faith for humanity in the eyes of a 16-year-old Jewish boy who loved Anne Frank. Sharon Dogar's work succeeds to captivate the readers' emotions with ghastly portrayals of the Holocaust and one's feeling of desiring love and liberty. It takes them far beyond the readers' imaginations of what it is like to live in confinement and terror. Most of all, Peter van Pels has taught the readers that neither the shed of blood nor death can wipe out one's identity and longing for home—heimweh. As he lied down in the Mauthausen sick bay, Austria, he ended his life by saying these following words: “There was a girl, wasn't there? There was a place. A place where the leaves fell like golden coins from a tree into the water as we watched through the attic window... and before that there was a home, a street, a world, a girl I loved.”

(Image above: ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’ performed by Fairfield High School, 2011)

References

Dogar, Sharon. Annexed. Houghton Mifflin, 2010.

Frank, Anne. The Diary of a Young Girl. Bantam, 1993.

Scalon, Anna. “Annexed by Sharon Dogar.” Remember.org—A People's History of the Holocaust & Genocide 2 October 2010:-. http://www.remember.org/holocaust/2010/10/annexed-by-sharon-dogar.html. Web. 4 June 2017.

Dayle, Allison. “Review: Annexed by Sharon Dogar.” The Allure of Books 5 June 2010:-. http://theallureofbooks.com/2010/06/review-annexed-by-sharon-dogar.html. Web. 4 June 2017.

Southgate, Mandy. “Book Review: Annexed by Sharon Dogar.” Blogcritics—the Critical Lense of Today's Culture and Entertainment 30 January 2011:-. http://blogcritics.org/book-review-annexed-by-sharon-dogar/. Web. 4 June 2017.

Peet, Mal. “Annexed by Sharon Dogar—Mal Peet on a Brave Retelling of Anne Frank's Story.” The Guardian 18 September 2010:-. https://www.theguardian.com/books/2010/sep/18/annexed-sharon-dogar-review. Web. June 4 2017.

(Image above: Peter van Pels and Anne Frank)

[ichocolatic]

Overcoming Stress through Drawing

Here’s one of my essays that I’ve just done for my composition exam. I was pretty disappointed when I scored a 74 for this, thinking that the results would be much higher. I realize that this is a much pretty mediocre work since I did it at 11 PM until 00.30 AM and I couldn’t open my eyes any wider since I was too sleepy. My schedule was so tight (I had rigid preps for the musical drama Sound of Music) and I had so little time to do the essay. At least I tried my best lol. Anyways, enjoy reading :) #assignmentlyfe

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OVERCOMING STRESS THROUGH DRAWING

Imagine you are on the verge of a critical situation. Your assignments are piled up high, tests  are flooding and you just had a mental breakdown after breaking up with your girlfriend. To make it even worse, you got your electricity bill unpaid for 3 months and almost run out of savings. Tears wet your cheeks and you feel like escaping to another world just to get rid of all those things. Yes, you are expriencing stress. Maybe in times like that, you might search for a solution. In fact, you are not the only person who experience stuffs like that. Lots of other people also experience stress the way you do. Then,  how do we get over it? There are various solutions. one of them is to solve this problem with a pencil and your creativity, that is drawing. Drawing can help us to release stress.

Before figuring out how drawing can overcome stress, let us take a look at what stress really is. According to the Stress Management Society in the United Kingdom, they define this occurence as a “primarily a physical response...when stressed, the body thinks it is under attack and switches to 'fight or flight' mode, releasing a complex mix of hormones and chemicals...to prepare the body for physical action.” Basically, what they are trying to say is that our body will try to save us from being hurt by these threats, or stressful situations that we have. They will release hormones that causes us to obtain instincts to fight or avoid the stress factors. Unfortunately, by fighting or avoiding them, our stress level will add up or even damage our relationships with the people when we behave rudely due to the pressure we are experiencing.

Originally posted by art-dogs-memes Drawing can help us to release stress in many ways. Priscilla Frank, author of 10 Easy Art Therapy Techniques to Help You De-Stress in the Huffington Post, quoted that “art therapy is a form of therapy that encourages creativity and self-expression as vehicles to reduce stress.”  It means that we do not have to be a master in order to produce a good painting. What we need is to draw what have been bugging our mind and to let it go. By doing that, we allow ourselves to perform mistakes and accept who we really are like seeing our own reflection in the mirror. We also learn to increase our positivity of mind, see our bodily state and to find our focus. “It is a calming activity that can help people go from a frazzled state to a more focused one,” claimed Sunni Brown, author of The Doodle Revolution.

There are several art therapy techinques to release stress, as suggested by Priscilla Frank. First, we may get rid of our self-judgements by drawing in total darkness. We create full, random strokes of lines in the dark just because we feel like it. Turn on the light to see the surprising result. In that way, we will not care about the artistry of our work but the relaxation that we experience. Second, we create a colorful permision slip. It will state that we have the permission to fail, permission to dream, permission to follow our heart, and so on. Finally, we can also experiment with watercolors. Close our eyes and imagine the colors entering into our body to see its state. After opening it, we may draw an outline of our human body and splatter it with colors that have entered.

Drawing does not only play a big role in arts, but also contributes to our psychological state. It allows us to express ourselves more freely in a special way. We are also able to throw away negative thoughts and overcome the pressure that had been haunting us. Therefore, whenever we feel like escaping to another world, remember that we can make it happen just by a single pencil and a sheet of paper.

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References

Heller, Steven. “The Cognitive Benefits of Doodling.” The Atlantic 8 July 2015: -. www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/398027. Web. 24 April 2017.

Frank, Priscilla. “10 Easy Art Therapy Techniques to Help You De-Stress.” Huffington Post 7 November 2014:-. www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/07/art-therapy-techniques_n_6103092.html. Web. 24 April 2017.

Society, Stress Management. “What Is Stress?” Stress Management Society 2017:-. http://www.stress.org.uk/what-is-stress/. Web. 30 May 2017.