one among the crowd.

˚₊‧꒰ა ✴︎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ✒ xastro ∘ 29 ✒ if a girl was a guy or nothing at all. ✒ digital diary + whatever the hell I want on here.

[icongraph]

˚₊‧꒰ა ✴︎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

one among the crowd.

xastro's digital diary.

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# eliy.exe ⤷ general text posts

# eliyart ⤷ my art

# eliy.pics ⤷ general pictures

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꒰ა Below for specific tags!! ໒꒱

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# its journaling ⤷ journal related stuff

# its gaming ⤷ general video game tag

# music interests ⤷ music I'm listening to

# the reading board ⤷ reading reviews and stuff

# wiki nonsense ⤷ specific tag for my notion wikis

# lets ttrpg ⤷ generic ttrpg tag <- biggest hobby

# dream writings ⤷ when I dream anything interesting

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# its tomodachis ⤷ Tomodachi Life specific tag

# its ff14s ⤷ Final Fantasy 14 specific tag

# its pokemon ⤷ Pokemon specific tag

# its gacha gacha ⤷ Gacha gaming specific tag

# its minecrafting ⤷ Minecraft specific tag

# tamagotchi logs ⤷ Tamagotchi specific tag

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will probably be updated / adjusted as time goes on.

⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

[icongraph]

5.21.2026

Something hilariously (maybe) vouyeristic about having limited money all the time, where I've just accepted that I can only really watch my friends go hang out by themselves, because I can't do it enough myself.

Just been my fate since high school I guess lmao.

[icongraph]

5.17.2026

Fucked up that during my nap I woke up at one point thinking I overslept and was late to meeting my fiance, until I remembered I just saw him off at the airport today.

I'm really sad, I miss him so much already.

[icongraph]

5.17.2026

It doesn't get any easier to say goodbye, but I'll be with him again someday soon.

[icongraph]

5.15.2026

It's so fucking cold and the rain makes it cold and I hate being cold and the drinks make me cold raaahhhh.

[icongraph]

Ice cream from last night. I love my friends and they care me 🥺

[icongraph]

Things from last night I forgot to post. Dnd yesterday was so fucking funny

[icongraph]

Been listening to this pretty much almost on loop. It just makes me think about my engagement. We're not people with the most ideal circumstances in some aspects, we mean well, we love each other sincerely, all we are is ourselves and we'll give what we have.

It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be rocky, I'm gonna be disappointed again and again. But we won't give up, trying one step at a time, again and again.

[icongraph]

5.14.2026

I love my friends, I love my fiance. I'm very grateful to them.

[icongraph]

Meals for the day haha (burger is my partner's). My friend treated us cus engagement hehe thank you sm man ♡♡♡

I'm always grateful for my friends' support and friendship. I really appreciate them for a lot of reasons obv haha.

I love them.

[icongraph]

Dinner from yesterday, the manatee keychain I got (matching w my partner hehe) and then we watched Project Hail Mary finally.

[icongraph]

We went to River Wonders yesterday and it was fun. The river ride was really fun ngl. So many animals and fish.

I got so emotional over seeing manatees and dugongs I started crying. I love them sm.

[icongraph]

Unfortunately wasn't able to share pics of what I did with my partner yesterday. First with breakfast cus he felt like pancakes and this was close by. It was yummy, but also I love chocolate haha.

We shared this so it was 4 pancakes per person. It rained soooo hard while we were having breakfast but we were indoors so it was fine.

[icongraph]

5.13.2026

I won't lie, a part of me died last night. This sucks lol.

On a more fun note, River Wonders was cool. Also saw Project Hail Mary for the first time.

I'm so sleepy.

[icongraph]

Something positive you can look at my engagement ring!!! It's a pink sapphire with a gold band, and ig the arrangement is called "floral arrangement." He also said there's an engraving on the inside that says "My Eliy"

Man, the proposal was so special and perfect. I won't let any current and future disappointments ruin this for me.

[icongraph]

5.13.2026

Yknow, maybe they're partly why I sometimes feel so fake. Like I don't feel real sometimes, like I don't feel like I exist as a human. That sometimes it feels like I'm a blob of ink and noise in the moment, and then I dissociate until I'm in my room or something.

I'm so grateful for my friends and my fiance, they make me feel like I'm real and they treat me like a person. It's so funny how baseline and simple it is to have your thoughts and feelings matter to someone, how it's supposed to be expected that you're treated like a human.

Yet, I don't have that from my parents. They love me but they want me to be quiet and follow along, to do what they say. What I'm thinking or feeling doesn't matter over their own selves and I have to give way and prioritise them even if they hurt me.

I don't feel truly human around them, and I think if they never change, I never will.

[icongraph]

5.13.2026

What a joke, lol. I knew there was gonna be friction about something with my parents. But I wasn't expecting that instead of being happy and congratulating my engagement, they were more focused on their feelings. The entire conversation was on their feelings and what they want.

I think a part of me died last night, and I'm just disappointed.

It's a day about the bride? It's a day for the bride's parents over what the bride thinks, apparently.

Their human daughter is their pet daughter, and not a realised, autonomous person.