toot toot

am i a woman or am i a goblin

[wholesome-animal-images]

@wholesome-animal-images

[spongeified]

i needed more angry bob on here

[segamascott]

i don't like seeing him get like this 💔

[nostalgic-teddyy]

mind you he NEVER gets like that unprovoked.

[catasters]

[copperbadge]

I just received an email from my building management company which opens

On Monday, from 1:30 PM to 1:37 PM, several residents have volunteered to host a brief tutorial in the laundry room for anyone interested in learning more about proper use of the equipment.

That is a leviathan passing beneath the ice of my peaceful fishing hut if ever I saw one.

The passive-aggressive nature of declaring it will take only seven minutes, but precisely seven minutes, for people to actually learn how to use the laundry room is amazing (I'm figuring five minutes to present and two minutes for questions).

The sad thing is, I've lived here long enough to know this informative presentation is absolutely necessary.

[twentybrokenipodclassics]

cats are small, simple, radially symmetrical creatures with no skeleton or brain. they survive off of whatever detritus happens to find its way to them, typically chunks of plastic and a bowl of wet food.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

no way your narrow ass cloaca laid this egg

[shirtsthatgohard]

[machinot]

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

[virginshane]

do not come to my notifs with ur fuck ass harry potter username

[ravioliet]

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

[that-house]

partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

[that-house]

^ its like this

[dankxsinatra]

[roxylalonde]

[secretgarden]

[kosmogrl]

living despite it all: OUT

living in spite of it all: IN

[maxxie-or-smth]

we need a surgery that removes you from your body

[goth-queen]

[dizzypplbecomeblurry]

i go on instagram reels to observe the strange rituals