archie got mauled by a bear fanclub

I just post bad jokes about the dumb king Archie Andrews - She/Her - SPOILER FULL!!!

[cherylblossom]

Toodles, Riverdale (2017-2023)

“This is cuckoo bananas... But I'm also kinda feeling it.”

[katebushconfidence]

Imagine you're a riveradult trying to have a good time in a depressing town and you find out that a fancy speakeasy is opening underneath Pop's ! Wig ! And then you find out they allow minors and they don't serve alcohol. And a high schooler is running it. How do you keep going after that

[jugheadesque]

chicles did not get married at the prison break incest twins birthday party and aged up baby anthony’s first words in fake heaven weren’t “mom dad i need to tell you something” and kj apa hasn’t been kissed and/or homoerotically stabbed by every man on set* and betty didn’t have a dream about domestic life with drake and madeleine petsch didn’t kiss two women sloppy with tongue in the last episode alone and sean depner did not confirm he played bret as in love with jughead and molly ringwald did not just get a lesbian divorce for you to imply that riverdale queerbaits. i scrolled through the wiki to count gay characters and got bored at 30

[warriorprincesstramp]

[fizzlehead]

betty. i’m built like a brick shithouse and i can’t be killed.

[travelsafely]

i mean this sincerely and unironically i think riverdale is the height of television and if you're not going to gradually built up from a small town murder mystery to angel-guided time travel over the course of six years you are wasting the television format

[tinyballoffury]

I just went and watched 30 min worth of season recap videos and this is real what the fuck

[travelsafely]

i would never lie about something as sacred as the canonical events of riverdale

[ankle-beez]

honestly we should just stop making media after riverdale ends. nothing will top this

[ankle-beez]

Legitimately where do we go after this. What the fuck are we gonna do

[eclogues]

Jugghead

[wallbeatjournal]

happy valentines day archie nation

[fizzlehead]

why is the cw wasting valuable riverdale funds on more supernatural

[fizzlehead]

riverdale’s unwavering dedication to doing musical episodes is so important to me. they did the first one and the general public was like we hated that. please don’t ever do that again. and riverdale said we’re gonna do it again. and they did and everyone said that was even worse than the first one. please stop doing this. so then riverdale said ok i see the problem. it’s that we aren’t doing hedwig and the angry inch. so they did hedwig and the angry inch and everyone said why are you doing this to us? we don’t want this. every musical episode you do gets worse ratings than the last one. what can we do to make you stop? we’ll do anything to make you stop. but riverdale didn’t hear them because it was too busy writing not one but two more musical episodes for the next season. if they ever stop doing this i’ll blow myself up

[idiotarchie]

there’s a lot of talk about the cheryl clip in the new episode but i feel like no one talks about how in sabrina there was literally an episode dedicated to these  teenagers having sex

[idiotarchie]

Veronica, I don’t know how to tell you that Oedipus isn’t a good analogy for your battle between you in your father.

[idiotarchie]

ARCHIE’S A KINNIE

[idiotarchie]

New Principle at Riverdale High: *is actually a good principle*

Everyone: What the hell? This man is trying to ruin my life

[thetaoofbetty]

riverdale bingo

i am ready for season 4 

[stimman4000]

[tenorgender]

is this real.

[purple-blossom-wings]

[the-angry-tired-lesbian-bitch]

@ Riverdale, I am literally begging you, let Cheryl and Toni have a story line NOT on them breaking up or them fighting. Also give Toni a backstory and her own storyline. They are literally the only reason I'm still watching and I want them to be happy