Being used on a surgery table against my will but still signing away my life will always have my interest. I’d give anything to look at a doctor and see his lips move as the anesthesia starts to take affect and they grab one of the sharpest tools while I can feel the slightest panic set into my body. It feels like forever before I knock out. Whenever I wake up I see something else on my back but it wasn’t what the surgery was supposed to be. It was a different process. Now I have to come back next week, but who am I to complain. I fucking love this.
To be told by my doctor, “Oh it’s my favorite patient!” Or whenever I come in they look me up and down and I can feel like I’m just in a state of vulnerability that I have never felt. Feel the cold supplies on and in my body. Them telling me, “It’s almost like you come just to see me, you seem to be completely healthy.” Little do they know that’s all I did do. I went just for them.
the hottest thing anyone couod do to me is do surgery on me while i'm awake. and talk me through everything it's doing with honey in it's voice. maybe even set up mirrors so i can see what it's doing to me. neeeeed
Sub red flags: a checklist for less experienced Doms
Awhile ago, I wrote the above post explaining several red flags and warning signs in Doms for less experienced submissives to be aware of. This is the inverse. Written mostly for inexperienced Doms who are seeking subs, from the perspective of an experienced Dom. I would recommend less experienced subs read as well. My hope is that this post is a resource for others and helps to improve kink safety and understanding. Please remember to research everything you do before you do it and trust your gut. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with.
Unclear consent/hasty consent
All kinks carry inherent risk. Some have physical risks, some psychological risks, plenty have both. Trust your gut if someone seems too eager to dive into something without fully discussing every possible angle you can think of. Don't ever run into something when you could walk. In kink, you aren't just consenting to the activity, you're consenting to the risks which the activity carries. Don't do anything with anyone who doesn't seem to understand that distinction.
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Dynamics are a two way street
One of the most misunderstood aspects of kink is the core element of mutual effort. Generally, less experienced people assume that the Dominant is an active participant, while the sub is a passive one, who simply receives whatever the Dom decides, getting off in the process. While this might work well in a Dark Romance novel it is categorically antithetical to real life BDSM. On a fundamental level, BDSM is a collaborative effort. Both the dominant and submissive are active participants, both have to put forth a lot of effort, both in learning about kink and safety and in actual scenes. While a scene might focus on a sub being a pretty doll for their Dom, just laying there and getting off, that should not be reflective of your actual interpersonal dynamic whatsoever. If a submissive doesn't believe they should have to put in as much effort as you, that's reflective of an unwillingness to put effort into your dynamic or your scene with them.
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Boundaries/safewords for doms
Just like a submissive has to consent to everything you do, a Dom also has to consent to everything in a scene. If a sub doesn't respect your boundaries, pushes them without permission, or acts as if your boundaries aren't as important as them getting off go play with someone else
"I have no limits"/"I don't use a safeword"
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REFUSING TO HONOR A SAFE WORD IS SEXUAL ASSAULT
Subs can assault Doms too.
This is fake. Everyone has boundaries. Some people like saying this doing scenes for fun, which can be fine roleplay, but if they genuinely believe it about themselves they are not emotionally mature enough for kink and are an unsafe partner. Run away.
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"Doms don't need aftercare"
Fake. Run. Unsafe partner.
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"Kink dispenser"
Subs should not view you as just someone who reads their mind and tells them things to get them off. Your needs matter too and all participants in a scene should be attentive to each other's needs and interests. You aren't there just to do whatever they want to get them off the same way they aren't there just to do whatever you want to get you off unless you have specifically agreed that you're both into that AND that the scene is going to be about that.
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Mental Health, Aftercare, and Drops
Your mental health is just as important as your physical safety in kink. Any submissive you play with must prioritize your emotional well-being the same way you need to prioritize theirs. There will be times when you feel weird after or during a scene or even bad about yourself. Dominance is stressful. Yours truly was once in a particularly harsh impact scene as a rookie Dom, realized how rough the marks on their thighs were, and experienced a drop feeling like a bad person even though they had specifically asked for what I was doing to them. It's perfectly normal to snap back to reality sometimes and end the scene for your own comfort. In fact, it is unsafe for your own emotional health to Dom anyone when you don't feel up to it. The correct thing to do is to communicate with the sub, pause or end the scene as needed, get feedback, let them know you need reassurance. Its completely normal and valid. If someone doesn't want to reassure you, that's a huge red flag
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Final notes
There are many "Doms" that are bad actors or abusers. They crave power over others not to seek out a mutual consensual fantasy, but because they want to stop other people from saying "No" to them, and have nonconsensual control over their life.
There are also many "subs" who are bad actors or abusers. Some are thrill seeking with little care for their own emotional or physical well-being, putting themselves and their dominant at risk by refusing to learn about safety or respect others boundaries. Some dehumanize Doms, essentially treating them like jerk off machine that doesn't have boundaries or feelings or require any effort.
Any standard you hold for yourself as a dominant, about consent, about boundaries, about safety, should also apply to any submissive you play with. No exceptions. Both Dominance AND submission need to be continuously earned, not given. If someone thinks otherwise...
Oh you don't want to listen to me ? Despite you being restrained to the table, your flesh exposed ? Oh I love when you think you can convince me to let you go. Sorry love, it will never happen. Now you need to learn.
Let me place the mask over your nose and mouth. No, no. Don't move your head like that. Just breathe. In and out. I can see you're starting to move less violently now... Isn't that better when you're calm ?
Aw. That look in your eyes. You know who's in charge now, yes ? Don't worry, this time you won't be fully asleep. Just enough to have you more obedient. There, let me secure the mask over your face. Isn't it nice, the mask sealed against your skin ? Trust me, you look very pretty like that.
What was that ? No, I can't let you go. Look at you, all vulnerable ! You can't leave because you might hurt yourself. Yeah, keep talking to me with your mask muffled voice, full of sleepiness.
Now let's start. My gloved hands will inspect your nipples first. Always start soft. Isn't that good ? When I caress them like that ? Oh yes of course it's part of the procedure. Don't worry. The gas is making you a bit delirious I see. Cute.
Then, my hands will slowly come down your genitalia. Hm... What if I put one... No, two fingers inside that wet hole of yours ? You like that, right ? No, no, no. Stop lying to yourself. You do love it when I visit your insides. Deeper and deeper.
I want to hypnotize a sub on a dentist’s chair or an operating table. This is a procedure after all. But instead of a root canal or a tooth extraction this is a brain extraction.
We can start with them getting nice and comfy on the chair, with or without restraints, depending on how comfortable they are. Then we put a mask on their nose and begin giving them some nitrous oxide to help relax even more. To make them feel spacey and more suggestible.
The nitrous oxide relaxes them as the spiral starts on screens throughout the room, so there’s nowhere to escape the visual stimulation. I put headphones on them next, and my voice begins to pump into their brain as their body succumbs to the forced relaxation of the nitrous oxide.
I slowly start to wean the nitrous oxide down as I see the effects of trance set in. And once I know they’re deep I take the headphones off and begin my fun. The usual stuff- mantras, drilling obedience into their head, and fractionation to really scramble their mind. This goes on for hours, until I’m satisfied with their submission, and at the end of the session they’ll be so disoriented but will obey me immediately and without question
Maybe I’ll open a mind extraction clinic of my own
the thought of my gf holding me down and giving me a bunch of little injections as I whine and squirm, cooing over me and convincing me that it’s an aphrodisiac as I come undone in her hands
Dehumanize them. Make them feel like they are nothing. Name ? Doesn't work here. Call them patient or subject. Add a number or a letter. They are not the first, they won't be the last.
During the procedure, don't directly talk to them. Talk to your team or to the camera, say what you are gonna do. Enjoy their fear.
Look at them like they are objects. Manipulate them as if they couldn't feel pain.
