you taught me how to be alone.
this is a letter to the person who left, came back and whom i decided to leave.
i knew you were always there for me. and i apologize for not acknowledging where you stand in my life about two years ago. but know this, you were always important to me. you were someone whom i separated from all the rest because you were special. you were someone i couldn’t lose. you were the person who has seen me and my vulnerability–and i was okay with that.
we stepped out of our comfort zone and what happened? you started to think i wasn’t paying attention to our friendship anymore so you left. but dear, we were all looking for acceptance in this society. don’t blame me for falling for the wrong person. don’t blame me for associating myself with the “wrong” people. don’t blame me for exploring ad conquering what the world had to give.
and yes, after seven months of giving me a silent treatment, you came back. i was the one who approached you first, though i have no idea why you had to leave me. you left me when i needed you. you left me when there was no one to pick up my broken pieces. you left me when everything else was a blur.
and maybe i should thank you. because with you leaving me alone in the world where confusion lingers, i taught myself to be brave. despite my high anxiety, i forced myself to march through life alone. you left and i taught myself things we could’ve learned together.
but now, dear. i have left. maybe it’s karma, maybe it’s fate. but i don’t believe in fate. what happens to us is because of us and i hope you realize that. i have left because maybe i realized i can stand up for myself now. i don’t need you. in fact, you need her more now. all you can focus on is her, her and her. now you will feel the way i felt when you left.
but take note of this, after going through so many things alone, i can’t afford to come back.
because for me, i’m just a cigarette to you; searched for, craved for but when you’re done with me, you leave. and go back to her.
i’m a cigarette and once i’m done, i’m not coming back
romaincrisis
areudirty
prguitarman
kianamaiart
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