I don't think that non-marginalized people can ever really understand (even if they try their best) how painful it is to constantly be denied a chance to see themselves in the stories they love, or the fear that comes with knowing that others never see them, either- and that if they do see them, they pretend not to.
I read a post long ago about how non-queer people get to see themselves in mirrors, whereas queer people only get to look through windows. I'd like to add that we also desperately try to catch our own reflections in those windows, line them up with what's beyond the glass, trying to validate our own existence. And to be told that we're wrong for trying hurts, because what else are we supposed to do?
Queer people have been "over thinking" and "over analyzing" media for so long now, because we have to. Otherwise, we wouldn't exist in the mainstream media landscape. And really the same can be said for every marginalized group, every person who's been told that their story isn't profitable enough to be worth telling. And it fucking sucks. Even if we get the chance to put our stories on the main stage, they are always swiftly categorized as other, as if "normal" people shouldn't bother with them. They never have to resort to trying to see themselves reflected in us. And that's the shit that has real-world effects, because if they can't even care about us in stories, how can we expect them to care about us in reality?
So I watched the spn finale and what a way to go out on a wet fart, huh? Holy shit.
I only really started watching it in season 8, but man oh man did I hyperfixate on the damn thing. Fic, meta, Discourse (tm), I ate it all up. Then I stopped watching around the beginning of season 10, I think. I still hung around the edges of fandom, but I was just tired of tumblr in general at that point. Without actively engaging in fandom, I eventually just lost interest. Then during election hell, spn came screaming back into my face with the canon destiel (!!!) love confession, and I found out the series finale was right around the corner. I initially wasn't even going to watch it, since I wasn't even into the show anymore, but since it had been pretty important to me (if only for a year or so), I decided to anyway. LOL.
What was that? Like, seriously? It felt like an hour of nothing. It was so weak, so boring, so (dare I say it) empty. Really show? That's how you're gonna wrap up 15 goddamn years? With a dull motw fight, a stupid death, and a blink and you miss it montage of Sam growing old and Dean driving around aimlessly in heaven (and would it really have been so difficult for Cas to pop in the car with a 'hello Dean?' Too little to late, I know, but it would have been something at least)? I'm sure there are casual fans of the show who thought it was all right, but like. Even setting aside the queerbaiting (which kept us on the hook, only for them to yank us out of the water and gut us, jfc), the ending was just bad.
And oh boy the queerbaiting. I mean, I'd be lying if I said that Cas finally telling Dean he loves him didn't make me just a little happy. I thought that scene was great, and Jensen and Misha did an amazing job with it. But it's like the show blew us a kiss then threw a shit pie in our faces right after. Ugh.
I've seen some people suggest that we're upset because our ship didn't go canon (well we got like, 50% of the way there), and like, no shit. But it's not just about a ship. It's about these characters (all of them, not just Dean and Cas), not getting the resolutions they deserve. It's about all the loose threads just being wadded up into a messy knot at the end, and the show telling us it's a beautiful bow. It's about believing that finally, after sticking with this show for over a decade, tptb are going to actually do something with all the subtext and potential that they've been happily using to keep everyone invested, only for them to just completely ignore it as they always do. I guess they stayed on brand, at least.
I'm just really disappointed, and I'm sad for everyone who stuck with the show for this long only to have that mess be its grand send off. And it wasn't even hilariously bad (though that old man makeup was a sight to behold, omg). It was just meh. Yeah the death scene was moving and poignant and whatever, but these two have died in each other's arms thousands of times. Been there, done that. Groundbreaking, my ass.
I don't even know why I'm writing this. To vent, I guess. Though I will say that bitching about spn is almost nice, in a way. It takes me back to a simpler time. But we all deserved better than that. There are plenty of people making great points in other posts, and I haven't been around long enough to really add anything new to the discussion, so I'll just end it here. See y'all.
I was just semi-complaining that I was still looking for a decent way to backup my +6k posts without having to use paid services or even just wordpress (which has an import from tumblr tool that asks for permission to access your blog and also make posts), when I decided to actually put some effort into my google search.
Results were positive: I have successfully backed up my blog*
*By which I mean: everything that I have ever posted.
Not included: drafts, queue, likes, followers, following, comments, notes, chat.
I followed this method (word by word), and now have a 450 MB folder on my computer with the name of my blog on it containing:
1. Folder “Archive” (contains .html files listed by month)
2. Folder “Media” (contains gifs and images, mine has +1k files in it; might contain also audios but I have no way of confirming that because I’ve never reblogged an audio post from this blog)
3. Folder “Posts” (contains single .html files, each one a post; I have +4k files in it)
4. Folder “Theme” (contains only my avatar, but it might be a matter of if you have personalized themes or not)
5. .html file “Index” (by opening it it will give you the archive of your blog organized by month; clicking on a month will open up the archive for that month, and you’ll be able to read all the posts for that month as if you were on your blog**, except sans your theme graphic, with each page containing 50 posts)
**I can see gifs, links, embedded videos, tags, number of notes (but I can’t open up the notes, clearly), text is also correctly formatted.
So yeah, in case anyone wants a very quick way to back up their blog, it took me less than 10 minutes.
P.S. I didn’t have any issue, but to be on the safe side always check for spyware and virus threats before and after downloading anything.
this is actually really useful if you have an art blog full of years of work that you otherwise no longer have access to the original files. A lot of the art I have in the early days of my art blog are in that boat. I did this process JUST for that reason and I was pretty astonished at just how many pieces of media it backs up! (literally all of it) Drawings I didn’t even realize were sitting in my archive due to having been posted to text posts or undercuts, or untagged for years! It’s worth it if just for that, even if tumblr isn’t shutting down or deleting your blog.
Basically, because I know Mobile is bad with links, the article points out hat the broad, “sfw only, no titties allowed” wave on the internet in recent years is largely due to Apple’s absolute stranglehold on the App Store. Apple has strict guidelines about NSFW content that choke creators right out of mainstream social media, even on sites like Reddit, for users of their products:
But there are fewer and fewer mainstream sites and services that support porn and adult content, and much of that attitude has grown out of Apple’s strict controls over the App Store and the iOS ecosystem. Steve Jobs famously suggested that “folks who want porn can buy an Android phone,” and Apple has repeatedly leveraged its unprecedented power over millions of smartphones to sanitize the apps that are available on iPhones. Apple does not allow apps “that contain user generated content that is frequently pornographic.” In 2016, Apple famously deleted all third-party Reddit apps that allowed users to toggle NSFW posts on and off; even now, it is impossible to access porn on an iOS Reddit app unless you jump through various hoops.
remember though that this anger isn’t about Being Horny On Main, it’s about sex workers, their platforms and followers, NSFW creators and their art, and adult content communities that are continually being shoved out of spaces they created in recent years:
Tumblr’s leadership seems to believe that the community using Tumblr for adult content is the same as any other porn site—showing a serious disconnect with how its users actually interact and connect on its own platform. “We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community,” he wrote.
The value of Tumblr for NSFW creators and fans was in the autonomy to curate something original, and the freedom to express and share what they’re into—something that can’t be replaced by algorithmically-suggested porn on the rest of the internet.
it was mentioned before somewhere else, but 20% of Tumblr’s traffic is brought in by content they’re now flagging as “adult”
This is yet another example of a platform ignoring adult content when it helps the platform flourish, and then leaving those users out to dry when it’s time to crack down for some monetary gain or face-saving. In addition to being a terrible way to treat your user base, banning adult content on Tumblr will stifle a lot of creativity.
and of course, Apple is also one of the companies that has repeatedly come under fire for censoring lgbtq/queer identities on their sites, the app store, and also caved to russia’s anti-lgbtq policies like a stick of rotten bamboo
The communities that will feel this change the most will be the already-marginalized. “Tumblr banning adult content is a huge loss for the LGBTQ community, especially those with overlapping marginalized identities,” Kitty Stryker, a queer porn performer and consent activist, told Motherboard in an email. “For many, that’s the one place we could find porn that represents us, made by indie performers who created their own content outside of an often racist, transmisogynist, fatphobic industry. Tumblr was where our content could exist without pushing us into the restrictions of a misogynist, male dominated workplace.”
Trying to remember my password was like trying to remember high school chemistry, holy shit.
Anyway, I've decided to stop updating this blog. I find tumblr to be incredibly overwhelming (just the number of posts crossing my dash is enough to intimidate me and trigger my anxiety something fierce), so I think a fresh start is in order. I want to keep my follow list small, but I really don't feel like going through and deciding who to unfollow.
I'm not deleting this blog, and I'll probably pop in now and then, but there will be no more original posts on here. I'm moving over to idvocative.tumblr.com if you're interested.
So yeah. I'm excited to finally enjoy tumblr again. If I don't follow you over on my new blog, it's not personal. Again, I'm just trying to keep things managable for me. Thanks for understanding. :)
skiesofaugust said: I’ve been wondering where you have disappeared to. :( I hope you’ll start feeling better soon!
Aw thank you! It's a combination of life stuff, my tendency to disappear from the internet for big chunks of time, and just how overwhelming I find tumblr (not in any specific way, just there's so many posts and it makes me a little anxious trying to keep up). I feel like I need to get my offline stuff in order before I can focus on online stuff, you know? Fortunately, one of my biggest offline stresses is getting under control, which is good.
Again, thank you for your concern. It means a lot :)
I guess most of you have probably noticed that I've not been around much these days. There's no concrete reason for it, I've just been feeling rather disillusioned with fandom at the moment, plus Life Things have made my depression kick into overdrive, so I haven't been motivated to do much of anything lately. So yeah. Consider me as being on an informal hiatus. I might pop in now and then, but until I get some shit sorted, I don't really feel up to contributing.
Raise your hand if you never predicted that a photo from half a century ago of three grown men aggressively not looking at each other would bring you this much joy.
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