i like to think genji is a recovered addict and it’s so important to me.
//tw for addiction and substances
we know he tried his best to cope with his family and avoid his responsibilities, being a bit of a man of the town, going out a lot, most likely getting drunk. but drinking constantly sucks, hits too slow, you have to deal with hangovers, and he’s a shimada, so there’s no way people who wanted to get on his good side didn’t try to offer him increasingly harder drugs. he’s charismatic, but talking to people and getting laid is so much easier when you don’t have to remember their faces, and it soothes the ache in his chest for any meaningful relationships. kiriko is too young to share his troubles with, and him and hanzo are taking turns pushing each other away, he’s as lonely as one can be, and by the time their father dies, he developes several addictions.
hanzo is aware of almost everything, though he doesn’t know the extent of just how bad it is. they have several fights about it at the beginning, after which genji starts hiding it way better. he wants to push away the family name, not his brother. still, hanzo is the one who collects him after rougher outings, and dear god, does genji give him a few scares. having to franctically search for his pulse or pacing in front of their medic’s door all night leaves scars on him.
his recovery in blackwatch is also slowed by withdrawl. he spends weeks unable to really get up much, months locked in the med bay. his symptoms are mostly written off as his body responding to extreme trauma, and while blackwatch does have a file on his past, angela doesn’t have the heart to deny him strong pain medication for his injuries. his cybernetics, while advanced, are fairly experimental due to the extent of the damage, meaning most parts prioritaze keeping him alive over comfort. when he recovers enough, he starts stealing meds from moira’s lab, who, frankly, could not care like angela would.
he really doesn’t talk much with his team mates, he tends to lash out at people while sober and hides away while high. he can’t drink with them, since it would mean taking off his face plate, and he found that what’s left of his digestive system doesn’t take well to alcohol either, so he just avoids everyone the best he can. reyes eyes him from afar, but genji is simply incredible on the battlefield, hasn’t shown any issues besides what he insists (and truth be told, could be) are mishaps with his cybernetics, so as long as his work is done, he lets him be, which angela voices concerns about to both of them.
after a few close calls, and a bunch of nights spent shaking in cold sweat on the bathroom floor, he does try to get better while part of overwatch. he wants to be the hero people think he is, without the shadow of where he’s gonna get his next fill from looming over him. but he’s ashamed and stubborn, refusing to ask for help and falling back into the cycle over and over again. it’s also hard to let go of one of the last remaining ways to have control over his body, feeling like he did back in his old life. and this mindset persists well after overwatch’s fall, walking with him until he finds himself at the monastery.
zenyatta is patient, frustratingly so. he doesn’t deny anything from genji, but guides him on the way he needs to walk. genji opens up slowly, healing and letting go of his addictions bit by bit. there are pitfalls, but his master is there to serve as a guiding light amongst the clouds, and by the time of the recall, he found the peace he needed in zenyatta’s teachings.
he doesn’t feel frustrated or left out when his friends are celebrating, just raises his glass of juice and takes out a lollypop zenyatta started hiding in his stuff at the monastery whenever they are smoking.
he doesn’t talk much about it - frankly, he barely remembers most of this time of his life - but he’s not ashamed to share his experiences if it means he can help someone, by encouraging them, or simply making them feel less alone.
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