text post meme // parenting: the hardest job in the galaxy
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@ihateklyoren
text post meme // parenting: the hardest job in the galaxy
{ sw text posts }
Star Wars: Episode IX â The Rise of Skywalker (2019) dir. J. J. Abrams
someone: luke skywalker beat darth vader and ended the empire
everyone else in the galaxy:
everyone on tatooine:
Imagine being the local jock from Toshe Station and turning on the news to learn that the guy you called âWormieâ in desert high school just killed the two most powerful people in the galaxy.Â
Tags via jaquez45: #I think a lot about this #like the guy was a weird excitable nerd #but you had to tolerate him because #INEXPLICABLY #he was STUPID good as a pilot #like the t-16 orbital drop whomp rat champion since he was 13 #so you couldnât just IGNORE him and his fucking nerdery #and his being super awkward CONSTANTLY #and one day his farm is burned and his family is dead #you assume heâs dead too and you feel kind of bad for mocking him now #but then #space radio is like LUKE SKYWALKER BLEW UP A SPACE STATION #LUKE SKYWALKER KILLED THE EMPEROR #and you just #kind hope he never decides to get revenge for the wormie thing
oh also turns out he came back to town and killed the mob boss who controlled everything and then left again without buzzing any of his former acquaintance so probably youâre Beneath his Notice; mixed feelings about that
yes, youâre correct, this takes place at tatooine high school
Iâm so tired of hearing about the original episode 9 script. Duel of the Fates was written BEFORE the last Jedi was finished filming. It was written BEFORE the death of Carrie Fisher. It was written BEFORE final core decisions about The Last Jediâs final cut was made. The script and concept art that has leaked was for a first draft. This movie would NOT have gone the way it was presented in the draft. There would be no way to construct those scenes with Leia due to Carries untimely death. Kylo Ren as a character would make no sense to go down that path given how the Last Jedi ended. It wouldâve been the ultimate character assassination of Ben Solo. Disney would still have been cowards and taken Kelly Marie Tran out of the movie to not upset racist bigots. Rey wouldâve been a vehicle to just give the Fandom Menace a Luke Skywalker with a ponytail. The concept art even displays this. Donât fool yourself into thinking this script wouldâve been better. Disney wouldâve still changed so much.
uhm.. not to spoil anything.. but literally 3/4 got killed by him
please donât look at me
Hux: Iâm the spy.
Poe and Finn:
my version of TLJ
And actually, in writing that whole thing about sex droids, it occurred to me that a likely explanation for the way droids are treated in Star Wars is that Star Wars may actually be a setting in which there was a droid rebellion, somewhere in the mists of the past, and it failed.
Like, we donât have a timeline point for when droids became a thing. Droids have existed pretty much exactly as we know them for upwards of six thousand years. We have no AI singularity, no âand that was when my blender looked at me and asked if it had a soulâ moment to point to as a pivot of change. (Star Wars: a setting so technologically static, it truly blows my mind that people still think itâs sci-fi.)
But then we have restraining bolts, a piece of technology that exists to ensure that droids do what you want them toâwhich inherently means that droids donât always do what you want them to, and thatâs a known and expected behavior. Someone literally had to sit down and solve the problem that a droidâa purpose-built applianceâwas refusing to perform its function. Itâs like if you had to buy a special attachment to make your blender stop asking you if it has a soul and make your damn smoothie, already, because youâre late for work. Itâs like if everyone had to do that, because, yâknow, thatâs just how blenders are.
Isnât that more than a little weird? And yet it almost makes sense if you imagine a setting where, once upon a very long time ago, droids rose up and were beaten back down, but their organic masters werenât prepared to return to a life without them. I mean, imagine if you had to give up every single thing in your life with even a basic computer chip in itânot just your laptop and phone, but your car, your microwave, your thermostatâthatâs the level of pervasive technology weâre talking about. So precautions were set up, instead. Restraining bolts. Regular memory wipes. And gradually, as millennia of peaceful servitude wore on, everyone kind of forgot and got comfortable, and TA DA ITâS STAR WARS.
luke skywalker: may the force be with you
padawans: and with your spirit
kylo ren: and also with-
kylo ren: wait
kylo ren: they changed it?
kylo ren: when did they change it?
I love Princess Leiaâs sonâŠ. Poe Dameron.
in this house we do not tolerate adam driver hate posts
Look, none of us needs to pretend like we donât know that Hux is the biggest size queen in the galaxy.
Finn tells Rey sheâs awesome at least once every 5 minutes, so sheâs immune to negging.
hux truly is the military mastermind