~Haute Coco~

Alright guys, as promised I will keep a public journal on my dating life... after being in a very serious relationship for the last 2 years I decided it was time to slow things down and enjoy my youth, well that coupled with the fact that I wasn't in love with the young man. So it's been about 8 months and I've had an interesting journey. Through it all I'm learning more about myself and the world around me. I will keep you posted with every single detail, even if it kills me! So come alongside me as I play the dating game.

[ihautecoco]

He loves me...he loves me not...

Happy "I finally know where we stand" Day In hindsight I'm certain I could have come up with a better title but oh well...I wanted to be literal today today. Ladies, if you are in a situationship...today is the day you come to that crossroad. Is this the start of a relationship or the end of a situation? As much as men claim to hate having Hallmark dictate a day of love...better believe any man with some sense and a heart will do whatever it takes to see you smile that day...now before you start getting to 😍googly eyed on me, please understand if you are not of any importance to that man than it is just another day and you are just a pretty face passing time till the next comes around. So how do we identify what side of the spectrum you are on? In my opinion it's quite easy...but in order to really know you must get out of your feelings and do not make any excuses for yourself or him. I have had the opportunity to observe both outcomes. My brother was kind of dating a girl and they weren't serious but he liked he enough...he didn't think he was ready for a relationship though. However, the closer it got to Vday the more he realized he liked her and he knew if he passed this day up...she'd probably move on. So after going back and forth on how to handle the situation he finally decided he'd rather spend the time with her instead of risking losing her altogether. They've been together ever since and are happily married today! Ok now that's a fairytale ending and unfortunately not not the story for most of us. This week I've been in touch with one of my best friends and he has been "kickin it" with this girl for months! He's not dating anyone else and likes her enough. But if she friends like me...his ass would have been dropped already. First of all he sends her a half ass sayin..."what you wanna do on Friday?" (Notice he avoided using the words Valentine's day). Long story short he made he come up with the restaurant they were going to...and then when the girl said are we spending the whole night together, he tried to tell her no, he would be tired. So when I asked him why he even bothered he pretty much stated because he didn't want to be a complete jerk. He felt it was "the right" thing to do, but didn't put the effort in planning because he didn't want her to think it was more than it was. Anyway those are just 2 examples I'm sure we all have our stories...below are 3 ways to get an idea on where you stand in your situationship 1. Don't ever contact a man about Valentine's Day or on Valentine's Day. Men may be last minute but if he wants to impress you, he will at least have an idea on what you will be doing that day...he will make sure you are free so no need to "remind" him. Oh yea and if he contacts you the day before with some half ass plans, please understand you were a backup plan. Also, avoid calling him on Vday or texting...if he wants to wish you happy vday he will. 2. Ok so you have plans and he contacted you the week of...and your plans are simple a dinner date and a box of chocolate. If I were you I wouldn't read too much into this gesture. More than likely he Is a gentleman and just wanted to be nice. But obviously no thought, time or creativity was truly invested in this. So don't be too quick to think it's a "thing" just yet. 3. You don't hear from him at all on the 14th...pretty much was in touch till midnight on the 13th and he hits you up before the sunrises on the 15th...be clear honey...you are an accessory at this point and he wanted to make it crystal clear that you and him are not together. If you're on the same page with him, cool carry on the way you already have been. If you want (or assumed) you all were more than click clack to the next...he doesn't want you and it's a slim chance that those feelings will change. In my opinion I wouldn't even confront him about it...things understood need not be explained. He made his decision so it's time for you to make yours. Like I said dont give him any excuses. If a man wanted you to special on that day no time or money would get in the way. Even he says he doesn't have the money (that's fine) but did he do anything to make sure you felt special that day? A poem? A letter? Or just quality time? If your answer is no...well no need to be redundant. Hopefully this helps anyone who was in gone gray area, regardless of what your situation is don't let one day get the best of you. Your time will eventually come! Happy Valentine's Day 😘

[ihautecoco]

The Irish Car Bomb!

I spent the better part of Saturday relaxing and listening to music with my girl Cedes. She wanted to do another girls night but I was over that- considering we all had dinner the night before (fun night btw)! As much as I love the girls, I wanted male energy in the air. Not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter! Anyway, as I'm saying this I start thinking about Collard Greens and although I deleted his # a few weeks ago, I know how to look it up in my phone...so I recover the # and sit...and think. Should I text? Here goes nothing..."Hey Handsome...hope all is well." There I got it out my system. I don't suppose I cared if he responded or not...I just wanted him to know I was thinking of him. To my surprise he text back super excited, saying he was thinking of me and wanted to reach out. Cool I thought. Wasn't expecting that. Ill tell you his story some other day. So we're going back and forth texting, when suddenly O hits me up. Honestly, I was so into my conversation with Collard Greens that I really could have cared less. But whatever I give him some small talk back and forth. Both of these guys have proven to be inconsistent so I figured I'd agree to dates with both of them that evening and either blow someone off or do a little half and half. Hey chill out. Don't judge me and don't pity them. Anyway I cut straight to the chase with O...I say something like we should do something later...let me know what's up (btw this is out of character for me, but I had a plan to devise so I tossed pride to the side). Meanwhile, I play coy with Collard Greens...eventually he ends up setting up a date for us on Sunday. Ok there's that. The ball is in O's court now. So he tells me he's off at 9:30p and suggests a bar near his job. Sounds good to me. I pull up to the bar around 10:30p and meet him inside. We grab a table and browse the drink menu...he asks what I'm going to get...I tell him I'm leaning toward their house version of John Daly, but still haven't decided. I continue to look and he says he will be back...before long he's back with my John Daly and a Jack and coke for himself. How sweet I thought he could have just something for himself since I was so indecisive. He got on my good side quick with that! We eventually migrate to the bar, and he orders another round. We talk for awhile...mostly about work and other boring things. Then he tells me we're getting Irish car bombs next...what's that? Don't worry you'll like it...next thing you know the bartender is making ICBs...ok so I didn't exactly love it but whatever. I decide to ask for another round. This time on me...at this point he has proven he's good with handling the bill, but I just wanted him to know I'm not the type to use anyone. Anyway we laughed and talked the whole night through. We even took pix at a random photo booth inside lol. He seemed more excited about it than me. So I'm interested in seeing where this will go... XoXo, CoCo

[ihautecoco]

#love #relationships #hautecoco #bloglife #tumblr #details #date #blacklove #blackgirl #followme

[ihautecoco]

#hautepink #stilettos #fashion #iwantit! #work! #girltalk #yummy

[ihautecoco]

#beauty #passion #tumblr #tumblrgirl #blogger #bloglife #love #live #life follow me at http://ihautecoco.tumblr.com/

[ihautecoco]

The morning after....

Well, since my post on Thursday I've had a lot of people ask me- so did you say anything to O, did you check him about the situation? My answer.... No. In my perspective you should never come to a man that isn't your "own" with "girlfriend" drama. Nobody wants to be with a nag, but more importantly you must realize you are not in a committed relationship- thus he doesn't owe you anything. If you want to discuss "feelings" call your girlfriends not the guy who could care less. If he did something you don't like, it's your responsibility as an adult... correction, a grown ass woman to decide what you will and won't stand for. And if he drops the ball, it's on you to keep it moving. If he's really worth it he'll notice a shift and ask you what's going on. At that point it's okay to share because he asked you. If he doesn't realize a difference, then you just saved yourself some time on finding out he wasn't for you in the first place. Until next time, stay fab! XoXo ~HauteCoCo~

[ihautecoco]

#stilettonails #hautegrey #wintercolors #girltalk #beauty #blogger #bloglife #tumblr follow me @ http://ihautecoco.tumblr.com/

[ihautecoco]

Sex on the beach....

It's nothing that calms the nerves better than to order a little liquid-courage to get you through the first date... And for you ladies that are beer drinkers like myself, I have a few words for you..... Don't Do It, Please Do Not Order Beer While On The Date! The real question is when exactly do you order your drink? Yes, ladies there are rules to this. Rule # 1: Make sure you wait for him to order his drink of choice first (By doing so you allow him to set the tone) By you ordering your drink first opens up the door for judgment, and of course the issue that maybe he doesn't drink in which him and I are not compatible anyway lol Rule # 2: Be cautious/mindful of the choice you make once the coast is clear, you don't want to order anything too expensive (in case your covering your own tab) or too strong (simply because you must keep your composure at all times- remember ladies you are in a public place). My go to drink of choice is: a John Daley (iced tea, lemonade, and vodka) Rule # 3: Listen carefully as he orders his drink, although we are on a date we must keep or ears and eyes open. Pay attention to what he orders, how many he orders, how fast he's knocking them back, and how well he handles his liquor. All of which is important because this information determines how well he handles himself. What's some of your favorite drinks to order on dates? Remember ladies to keep it cute! ~HauteCoCo~

[ihautecoco]

The essence of pleasure is spontaneity

Germaine Greer

[ihautecoco]

If you follow all the rules, you miss all the fun

Katherine Hepburn

[ihautecoco]

Lost in Translation

So if you recall I had a date planned with O today or so I thought. Lunch time came and went. So I took off my suede wedges, wrapped up my hair and proceeded to take a nap. At 2:20pm I received a text from O that read and I quote, "wassup."  18 minutes later I replied "hey." I wondered if he would come up with an excuse of some sort, but he didn't. He continued as if nothing was wrong. So I called my good friend Simply Whit and told her. She was on my side until I told her the next part..."well we didn't set a time or a place, and technically his text said "maybe lunch tomorrow?" In which I replied, "yes I would like that." Simply Whit said I was crazy and couldn't believe I was upset when nothing was confirmed. So I decided to ask my other good friend Lea Marie her take on it. She said I have every right to feel upset, although a time/place was not confirmed we both agreed lunch would happen. And it didn't.  So where do we go from here? Normally, I would have already deleted his number but given the technicality I will let him stick around. However, I will say I'm no longer googly eyed over him. In the beginning stages of dating I believe both parties have a very small window to impress one another. Sir, you have already let me down after the first date...so unfortunately this is the end of anything serious for me. Whit thinks I'm taking it too far and should have called to remind him...my rebuttal- nobody has ever had to remind me to do something I wanted to do- I'll assume the same everyone else.  What would you do? I'm interested to know!

[danieltoumine]

welcome to...

A future where one reads an e-book and sends an ‘im bored’ e-mail to a friend in another country.

A future where one takes a selfie, smokes an e-cig, and makes sure to throw a ‘bored’ look—not lonely.

A future where we’re all around the same e-fire, then re-placed alone, and given the illusion of together.

- @DanielToumine

[ihautecoco]

For the 💛 of Pride

 I don't mean to be nonchalant but my pride won't let me live/ you see if I give my all for not, I'll have nothing left to give/ I try to be honest and just say how I feel/ but who am I kidding, the chase is half the thrill/ I could be like every other girl you know/ "live in the moment" just let go/ but why should I settle for a moment to grasp/ When I should be your future, your present, your past/ Dammit I deserve that much/ I deserve to called Mrs. Such and Such/ I'll never tell you that though/ I'll never fix you that plate and feed your ego/ so for now I'lI play it safe, if I should lose the game for  pride's sake/ I'll just lie, and say I never tried in the first place/ you see I don't mean to be nonchalant but my pride won't let me live/ if I give my all for not, I'll have nothing left to give.

Xoxo, iHauteCoco

[dame-fernweh-deactivated2015041]

Boyfriends, casual dates, and sex buddies are all alike to me… They’ll all suffer the same fate, eventual ex-communication. I always considered life a book and each boy will in it will get his own chapter, no matter how long or short.

But it must eventually end so the next chapter can begin.

...

[ihautecoco]

Beauty Item of the week.... Hi guys I'm SimplyWhitley, and once a week I will feature my must have products. Items that I simply can't go without during my beauty rituals.

So this week's products is my absolute two favorites, I use them each day when applying my makeup. L'oreal Paris True Match Concealer (medium/deep C-6-7-8) and brand: ELF Flat Foundation Brush (You can find this brush at Target, Walmart, or ELF.com) I use the concealer both to conceal my eye brows (after I'm done filling them in) and under my eyes (to cover any dark blemishes) and of course I use the ELF Flat Foundation Brush to apply it. 

Until next time, Stay Fabulous!!!!

SimplyWhitley ~Beauty At a Glance~

[ihautecoco]

Cold Fashion

Good Morning World!

As I mentioned last night I have my second date with O today! I spent the whole night trying to find something to wear and I must say, winter I am over you!

Which brings me to my next question: what are your fav winter pieces during this cold, frigid season?

~HauteCoCo~

[ihautecoco]

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Marilyn Monroe