xochitl

if you love me, keep it to yourself.

[iheartbarcelona]

WRESTLE IT OUT ⁴

? slowburn!hollis x childhoodfriend!reader

? based on song WRESTLE IT OUT by TOMMY FLEECE

? hollis was always just your best friend, till he wasn't

← | →

hollis was more than gone,

and that only made you more upset than you already were.

hollis left you outside after he heard roman yelling out for him. he didn't even say bye; he just up and left.

so, hollis thought you guys were cool. he thought that he had every right to leave and celebrate his friend. drinking into oblivion, he didn't care who saw him or what he did. he wanted to have fun.

you stayed outside for a little longer, letting the tears finally come down. you were in disbelief, and stuck in a position you avoided at all costs. you were in love with hollis, but he did shit like this that made you confused.

but after 20 minutes or so, you wanted to look for liz. you walked into the loud house to se everyone was in the kitchen. you wanted to ignore it, knowing hollis was there.

but you didn't.

hollis was between two girls, shirtless, both of them licking lime salt off his stomach. everyone is cheering, and hollis doesn't even look the least bit guilty. it made you disgusted.

you stay behind the big crowd behind everyone, not wanting hollis to see you. but then you made eye contact with him. he looked away immediately, and kept touching up on both of the girls.

you felt your throat closing up, being unable to breathe, and you slowly walked out to your car.

you sat in that car for about 2 hours till you could bring yourself together to drive home safe. you thought about the song he released, then you remembered what he had been doing all night.

you missed hollis that made you feel included, and sure he was still there, but not in the best way he could.

once you get to the house, you immediately go to your room to sit in silence until you fall asleep. music only made you think of him even more.

hollis groans as he puts his phone down. he looks up to see everyone passed out on the floor of nate's living room. he didn’t know why he did all of those things, and that's what made him more mad.

he's fumbling the one girl that everyone wants, and yet he still feeds into the groupie attention.

he stumbles into the kitchen to find the two girls he was with all night passed out on the floor. he felt so ashamed and embarrassed. he was singing " sister " like it was nothing with them by his side.

he steps outside to breathe in cold air and to think about the next steps on trying to fix everything with you.

but hollis knew you would eventually let him back in, and that's what scared him the most.

taglist: @porcelainprincess11 @mallwhore-freestyle @mageeternal @maracops @azurespysolace @ibelieveinfairyz @greensprvalley @kingoveverything @2bun22 @bambi-lia @2afraid22 @glitterslushi @swagmastergenerall

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xochitl speaks! : i am so sorry for the short chapter, i've been super busy with work. if yall have any questions pls ask any!

[iheartbarcelona]

your wrestle it out series is so freaking adorable !!! ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡ i’m so glad it showed up on my timeline !! ♡₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

oh my god thank you so much <2

[iheartbarcelona]

WRESTLE IT OUT ³

? slowburn!hollis x childhoodfriend!reader

? based on song WRESTLE IT OUT by TOMMY FLEECE

? hollis was always just your best friend, till he wasn't

← | →

you stared at your phone. hollis never showed you this song. you were already parked in nate's neighborhood to go into the party, and liz was already getting out of the car.

"bro are you good?" you turn to see liz staring at you through the passenger window.

you only turn your car back and connect to aux, liz was too eager and left you by yourself in your car.

you turn the audio all the way up in your small subaru and start playing the track. the smooth drums and the bass makes the car shake. then hollis' voice fills the car.

touch my skin

you nod along to the beat. but slowly you really start to listen to the song.

cross my fingers when i'm with you

hollis always posed in pictures you guys took together with crossed fingers. or when he drove you and poked your cheek with crossed fingers. or when he always drew crossed fingers in the letters he gave you.

maybe you weren't crazy, it was all in front of you this entire time.

you couldn't be with him, he was your brother's best friend. it was morally wrong, you always thought he saw you like a sister.

the more you listened the more it made you sick.

you're in the bleachers, i'm in my room

can i take your hands and tie them up again?

can you take my face and forget everything?

you didn't know what he meant by everything he said, and that only made you even more nervous. you sit in your car still, with no noise staring into nothing. you felt so many emotions and didn't know if you could even face him.

two honks woke you up from the trance you were in, you see roman's car behind you.

"i heard you saw his post." roman is leaning over in front of your car window, intensively looking around.

"yea. i, uh, don't understand the song." roman only shook his head and opened your car door. he crouched down to be eye level with you.

"come on, y/n, you know exactly what he meant. you don't have to lie to me or yourself on how you feel. but we all know what he means. i love you and i'm not going to force you to talk to me, but i'm always here."

you nod and get your stuff ready to get out of the car. roman drags you out and starts chatting your ear off about some girl he had been talking to for the last month. you smiled and admired your older brother, feeling safe. walking towards the house, roman squeezes your arm for encouragement.

roman opens the door and leads you into the loud environment. everywhere you looked people were packed, talking to each other with love. roman smiles at you and runs off to talk to some girl in the crowd.

you search around to find liz, and you see her talking to finn. you made eye contact with her and nodded, leaving her to it. walking through the house, the smell of alcohol intoxicated your nose.

you walk into the kitchen to see hollis talking to some girl, she had dark beautiful hair and was shorter than you. you felt that familiar pain of jealousy in your chest. you make sure he can't see you as you walk through, you were too tired for any confrontation today.

the kitchen had back doors leading to the patio outside, where you would meet nate and ella. smiling, you run to ella and hug her tightly, and hug nate and take a seat next to them.

you guys were having an easy conversation, talking about their futures as you make them promise to keep in touch. the easy laughter made it easier for you be there.

it felt nice to finally ignore all of the thoughts that constantly circulated in your brain every second of the day. but that state of peace is shattered when you hear sister blasting inside the house.

you can only sit there in silence while nate and ella run inside, and you silently follow in because who the fuck else were you supposed to hang out with?

you see hollis at the front of the living room with the random girl by his side. he had a drink on high right hand, and his left hand on her waist.

the lyrics were spilling out, and you felt disgust all over again. he was showing off his new song that clearly had meaning between you two, while holding another girl's waist.

you stood quietly next to ella, and you could feel her stare at you. everyone who was close to you two knew the real meaning behind the song. you kept shaking your head in disbelief. there's no fucking way hollis was doing this right in front of your face.

but then he looked up at you. all confidence and arrogance cracked for just a second, and he saw how disappointed you looked. god, he felt so dumb. the girl behind all of the songs he wrote was right in front of him.

you both held eye contact for more than 5 seconds, and that only pissed you off more. you finally found the courage to leave after the song finished, you heard everyone chanting for hollis as you walked outside.

you sat on the porch, searching your mind for answers. you hated yourself for reading too much into everything. the possibility that sister was about you was pretty likely, but still, there is a chance that it isn't.

but you wanted to hate hollis, but you know you couldn't.

"hi princess," hollis sits next to you, resting his head on your shoulder. "don't hate me, okay?"

you can't say anything without crying, so you put your head on top of his. you feel hollis grab your hand and hold it on his thigh, his thumb drawing patterns on the back of your hand.

disappointment floods over you, but all you can do is stay there with him, because god you loved him more than anything else.

taglist: @porcelainprincess11 @mallwhore-freestyle @mageeternal @maracops @azurespysolace @ibelieveinfairyz

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[iheartbarcelona]

WRESTLE IT OUT ²

? slowburn!hollis x childhoodfriend!reader

? based on song WRESTLE IT OUT by TOMMY FLEECE

? hollis was always just your best friend, till he wasn't

← | →

slow.

that was how your day was going. you and hollis haven't spoken since their last day of school, it was now the day before graduation.

the hallways felt louder today, maybe because it was everyone's last day before finals. you were an okay student, i mean you didn't have a 4.0 gpa but you didn't have to do credit recovery.

you were standing by the front doors waiting for your friend, elizabeth, to come with you to nate's graduation party. they all liked liz, so you more than happy to bring her.

"please tell me you're getting ready before we go," liz looks at your face and squishes your cheeks like you're a toddler.

"bro get off of me." you weren't having it; you were still in denial that everyone was leaving.

as you two walk out of the school, liz talks about what you could wear and how excited she was to do your makeup. but all you could think about was the demo, wondering what else he had added.

it seems like all you think about his hollis.

but, no, you love him like a brother. you could never date him, it would be weird with roman.

sure, you have thought about being with hollis. every single aspect of a relationship would be great with him. but that's just a fantasy. hollis has never had a girlfriend by choice, but he has never told you why. you were always too scared to ask him.

snapping out of your thoughts, you open the car door and start the car. liz jumping in and grabbing the aux. you never liked having aux. she starts playing hoes love art by meat computer, and you roll down all of the windows.

the breeze pricked at your arms, giving you goosebumps as you quietly drove to your house.

you hated the way your hair got in your mouth while singing the lyrics, and you loved the way the wind felt against your skin. you approached your house, seeing multiple cars parked on the driveway.

"i'd hope they'd already be gone to get ready for the party." you mumbled as you parked the car.

you and liz grab your stuff and head inside, taking off your shoes at the front. you hear all three of them yelling downstairs in roman's room. gratefully, you both run up to your room to avoid any interactions for now.

liz always loved your hair; it was so dark and healthy. you were kind of her model; she would put you in clothes that she liked to see if they matched you. today, she was especially excited; she was ready to give you a complete makeover. you knew she knew that you thought hollis was cute, but she never made you say anything about it. that's why liz is your best friend.

hollis was tense on his phone. he looked at your post 35 times. every time trying to convince himself that he loved you like a sister. but you looked good, and he knew that.

he saw every thirst comment from the guys in your grade, begging for you to answer them. he felt selfish, like he had been for a very long time with you.

currently in the other room of your house, he was making something with roman and nate. some song that had meaning, but none of them knew. hollis turned off his phone before either of them could notice and played the beat.

it was different from the demo he sent you, this song was way too obvious about his emotions.

sister.wve starts playing on the speakers of roman's studio. the warm, soft drums fill the room, and nate and roman immediately start patting him on the back and praising him. then hollis' voice humms lyrics that they can barely make out. till roman heard a lyric.

"girl i love you like a sister?" roman looks at hollis with a disgusted and unsure look on his face, then spins and looks at nate.

hollis only nods and continues to play the track some more and tweak it out as they both stare at him. roman knew it was about you, but now he was wondering if there were more songs about you that went right past his head.

nate looked at hollis and made sure they made eye contact, signaling to hollis to explain himself.

"i know this shit sounds weird, but it's something that rolled out and felt right," hollis starts staring at roman, "but i don't mean any harm to your sister."

he didn't confirm that the song was about you, nor did he deny.

"i'm releasing it tomorrow, don't make shit weird tonight." that was the last thing hollis said before packing up his laptop and getting out of the house to get ready for nate's party.

but instead of releasing it the next day, hollis decided to release it a little early.

taglist: @porcelainprincess11

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[iheartbarcelona]

WRESTLE IT OUT

? slowburn!hollis x childhoodfriend!reader

? based on song WRESTLE IT OUT by TOMMY FLEECE

? hollis was always just your best friend, till he wasn't

| →

you loved hollis. no, it wasn't a weird love. you loved him like a brother. he always took care of you when roman couldn't. sure, roman was a great older brother, but there was times that he forgot you existed.

especially during middle school, when having a girlfriend was the coolest thing to him.

you were sitting in the front of the school, waiting for roman so you guys could walk to school. it already been about 30 minutes since you all got out of school, and you were starting to get worried. but then you heard footsteps behind you.

"finally roman, god what even takes you-" you stop midway, turning around and noticing you aren't talking to roman.

"he's stuck with her again. i'm walking you home" hollis lived 3 blocks away from your house, which he didn't mind walking to make sure you had someone there.

embarrassed, you said nothing and walked with him in silence for a while. you wished your brother missed you as much as you missed him. 7th grade was already hard enough.

"it's okay to be mad, you know that right?" hollis asked you with a sure calm tone, and stared intently at you.

all you can do is nod.

roman wasn't like that anymore, as you are in his car riding to the last day of his senior year. self control playing in the background only making you more emotional. your older brother is leaving you behind.

you already had your license and had plenty of friends. but still, you had to bite your lip to stop yourself from crying in front of him. you didn't want him to worry.

he starts singing with a loud and content voice, and you look to him and smile. he was finally done with school, something that he had hated for his entire life.

when the school came into view, you realized who else was leaving. hollis. the person who yelled at the cheerleaders for laughing at you at tryouts. the person who punched a guy in the eye because he wouldn't take no for an answer. the person that you could text and would answer in one second.

you suddenly feel the pit in your stomach, the feeling of dread and loss. roman parks the car at the front of school and yells while he gets out of the car. you sit there for a second gathering yourself before leaving the car. you look to the right and see hollis, nate, and roman hugging and jumping in a circle.

you leave the parking lot without saying bye, knowing that you couldn't say hi without crying. heading toward the school with both headphones in, playing the demo hollis sent you last night.

everyone at school knew hollis was starting to make music, and you had the privilege of hearing it all. the demos, the beats, the lyrics, all of it. he cared about what you had to say.

this song felt different. there was a repeating guitar throughout the song, there weren't many lyrics yet, but he already had the bridge down.

"you used to take me there,

in the back of the convertible,

you put your fingers in my hair,

next they're in my underwear."

you let the lyrics sit, and you realize that they were probably your favorite yet.

you turn off your phone and walk into the the science classroom you hate. walking in you see all of the amazing people of your junior class, chatting around about the newest pregnancy scare in the school.

you always sit in the front away from everyone. you didn't hate them; you hate the noise they make. all of the false allegations they had on each other to sound cool, it was exhausting.

hollis never cared about what people said about him, and boy, did people talk. they said his music sucked, how they didn't like his long hair, and how they hated the way he didn't care.

and that's why you loved him so much.

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