bad at mcfucking everything (ap.)

INDIE + SELECTIVE JESSE MCCREE

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STARTER CALL --- ! MUTUALS ONLY

i just realized i have a heckin lot of u so go ahead and throw this a like if u want a starter/plot

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9, 13, 15 <3

NSFW MEME - ACCEPTING !

“Was wonderin’ when my honey-bunny would show up.”

9. When was the last time they had a wet dream? Bonus if you can describe it as much as you can in detail.

“I’d say around a week ago. It was about you, too, of course. For once, though, y’weren’t doin’ nothin’ t’me. I was the one finally doin’ somethin’ for you. So, I’d like t’thank you one more time for finally gettin’ them goddamn parts y’never knew about.”

13. What’s their favorite sex position(s)?

“Let’s all say it together: Reverse Cowgirl.”

15. Tell us about their sex fantasy? Things they want to try and do, but haven’t yet.

“I wanna go out to a cottage. Somewhere rustic. They got some in Germany, a few in the Netherlands, too. Look at the stars and drink some wine with a special cyborg honey on my arm and make love ‘til the sun starts shinin’.”

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19, 20, 24?

NSFW MEME - ACCEPTING !

19. Give us a sexcanon about your muse that not many people knows about.

“Not many people know this ‘bout me, but I’m mighty soft in the bedroom. Once I know I’m about t’get a good dickin’, I’m gonna show my gratitude. Play it up for the losers, make ‘em think they’re actually doin’ a good job, and be genuine with the good ones.”

20. Are they proud of their kinks? Is there a kink they’re too ashamed to share?

“Oh, you best believe a fella like me’s got some kinks up my sleeve. I like a good, rough sesh, when I get too sick of bein’ soft. But--- we all got our sex demons. Some I’d much rather never share, not even t’the guy I eventually get married to.”

   “--- It’s real saucy.”

24. How does their afterglow look like?

“Honey, if I may be frank with you, I look like a damn mess. Y’think my hair looks crazy now? Y’should see it after I get fucked. Not t’mention somebody told me one time that I get all red in the face.”

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4, 7, 8, 10?

NSFW MEME - ACCEPTING !

4. What was the most dirtiest place they had sex in? (Example: the public bathroom, the park, movie theater, etc.)

“Heck. You’re talkin’ to a guy that grew up in the Gorge. I’d say I was about 15, with my boyfriend, Ruby, at the time, and we decided, like dumbass kids, t’go ahead and fuck in the outhouse by the saloon. It’s small and stank like a darned dead skunk’s ass, and it sure as hell wasn’t any good.”

7. Did they ever have sex when people were around?

“Hell yeah--- ! Back in Blackwatch, during a bonfire, I went off with a boyfriend at the time and we took it upon ourselves t’fuck on the beach. ‘Bout ten feet away from the bonfire, but behind a bush. And lemme tell ya this--- don’t ever get sand caught up in your coochie. Burns like a bitch.”

8. Have they ever been caught having sex?

“’Member the last story? Yeah. Gabe wasn’t too keen on catchin’ a couple of his agents fuckin’ like a couple of rabbits on the beach.”

10. Describe their expression when having an orgasm.

“I been told I look mighty handsome. Lookin’ like a model, some have told me. Or maybe so darn cute that they shoulda got a picture.

Of course, he was lying. He would squeeze his eyes as tight as possible and arch his back, slapping repeatedly at whatever surface he’d been fucking on until he was done. As for the rest of the expression? Gritted teeth before a well-practiced ‘o-face.’ Needless to say, not cute.

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6. Tell us about their best and worst sex experience? *insert lenny face here*

NSFW MEME - ACCEPTING !

   “Wouldn’t y’like t’know?”

“My best one? Probably a couple years back, when I was in France--- or Germany. Can’t really say which. Either way, he was a tennis player, and did this thing with one of the balls---”

   He’s said too much.

“--- My worst? Shit, I had plenty of those. But one time, a guy was fuckin’ me and thought he was doin’ such a good job that he decided t’take it upon his goddamn self t’lift my hips without warnin’. Thing is, he wasn’t that strong, so he dropped me. Pulled a muscle in my neck and ended up with a bloody nose.”

[themusewhomuses]

Sinday Asks

1. Is your muse a virgin? If not, how old were they when they lost their virginity?

2. Are they sexually active?

3. When was the last time they had sex?

4. What was the most dirtiest place they had sex in? (Example: the public bathroom, the park, movie theater, etc.)

5. Do they masturbate often?

6. Tell us about their best and worst sex experience? 

7. Did they ever had sex when people were around?

8. Have they ever been caught having sex?

9. When was the last time they had a wet dream? Bonus if you can describe it as much as you can in detail.

10. Describe their expression when having an orgasm.

11. How long can they live without sex?

12. Would you consider your muse to be kinky?

13. What’s their favorite sex position(s)?

14. What’s their least favorite sex position(s)?

15. Tell us about their sex fantasy? Things they want to try and do, but haven’t yet.

16. Describe the way your muse’s moan during sex. (Example: are they loud, are they quiet, etc.)

17.  How long can they last before they cum?

18. If your muse can have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? If your muse has a partner, who would they invite to have a threesome with?

19. Give us a sexcanon about your muse that not many people knows about.

20. Are they proud of their kinks? Is there a kink they’re too ashamed to share?

21. How old were they when they learned about sex?

22. How does their foreplay go down?

23. Is your muse dominant or submissive or both?

24. How does their afterglow look like?

25. Wild card: ask any nsfw questions you’re curious about for my muse.

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DAMN NEAR CRAZY.

     There’s a wink flashed upon excited features.

          “We do not need my brother, do not worry, we have this.”

     He reached for Jesse’s hand, fingertips gently stroking his palm as his hand slid forward to clutch Jesse’s own in his grasp and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

     Upon releasing his hand he picked up the bottles one by one, reading the instructions with brows increasingly furrowing.

     One part this … Three parts that … It was all damn near guessing. But eventually his eyes were damn near burning from the chemical strain stirring in the bowl, and he gently set it down with the brush.

          “And now we just … Paint my hair like you are painting a wall. Even coverage all the way around … and then we dress up my hair in tin foil, because I need more metal on my body.” 

     He winced, catching a whiff of the scent of what was to be smothered into his hair.

          “Be warned, however. Your eyes may burn from this …”

   “Don’t worry ‘bout me, baby. I got my    glasses t’protect me.”

Incorrect.

   They don’t do shit to protect the burning. Jesse’s    eyes sting from the very fumes coming from that    goddamn bowl of bleach. Best not wipe his eyes.    Thank god Pancake’s not in the room, either. 

“What the hell, G? We puttin’ nuclear waste in your hair or somethin’? The fuck’s in this?” 

   He continued to complain as he got some of the mixture    on the brush--- goopy. Looked like too-smooth jelly. So,    how does he go about this--- suppose he just plops it on    there? Sure.

McCree just slapped some bleach on a random part of Genji’s hair, attempting to spread it around like he was painting--- or something. This feels wrong, but right at the same time.

[20aliens-deactivated20200625]

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@thicc-blackwatch-commander ❤ ‘d

   “Y’already know what it is, Pop.”

Jesse’s office? A mess. Then again, no one would expect the K-9 Captain to have a pristine work space. Paperwork thrown here and there, dog toys and treats in various jars, not to mention the crumbs from said treats on the floor--- Pickles’ harness and Mango’s leash. Gotta put those back in the kennels.

   Organized chaos. That’s what it is.

Not to mention the mess he and Gabe have made on the desk, what with the playing cards (not Jesse’s deck, obviously) and ridiculous amount of cash between them. 

   Wasn’t poker. It was a competition to see who could cheat    better.

“Just give up. Y’know I’m a better cheater than you.”

[crotah-deactivated20250225]

on the road

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@16bit-meka​  ❤ ‘d

   Whistle.

Jesse’s definitely not mad at her shooting skills.

   “Nice one, squirt. Won’t say y’got perfect    aim just yet, but that’s what happens when    y’use a Nerf gun.”

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STARTER / PLOT CALL - MUTUALS ONLY

owo whats this new mutuals ahoy

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                                                           there he go

                                                home | dossier | rules | verses

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HEADCANON - TATTOOS

this’ll be updated accordingly :0

Deadlock Rebel’s logo (inner left arm) (formerly)

Lavender and Jasmine bouquet (left side of neck)

“R&J” (back of neck)

“Reuben” (left shoulder blade)

Gabe’s Birthday (inner right wrist)

Horse skull surrounded by bouquets of violets, lavender, and baby’s breath (left bicep)

Illustration of a needle (rib cage, below right pec)

New Mexico flag (back of right forearm) 

[pupcosmos]

[3amjester]

I got canned heat in my heels tonight, baby!

[thatpinkmustache]

don’t tell me “you can’t do that” ‘cause I will do that