tw ed | minor @ijustwannabemfskinny - Tumblr Blog

When I first started losing weight, it felt like I was high. It was working so well, I started to feel happy and like my life was actually going somewhere.

But I stopped. I stopped starving and my life started to fall apart all over again, my happiness crumbling.

I cut so many people out of my life, I need to start all over again.

I’ve been gaining. I’ve been eating and weighing myself less, I stopped counting my calories and I’ve been gaining, gaining so much it’s making me sick.

I need a new start. I need to find my happiness and I need to get my life turn to the better once again.

This is why I made a new tumblr and I will not be posting on this one anymore.

My @ is @underweightsubliminals if anyone wants to follow me. I’ll be posting every day.

I hope you’re all doing alright and please know that there are always people out there who will listen to you, even if it’s just a stranger on the internet. Better times are coming for you. You can be whoever you want to be. Believe in it and it is already yours.

Stay safe💗

It’s the first day of school after like 3 months and of course I haven’t lost any weight.

Nice.

Food diary, Wednesday June 2 2021

Breakfast:

•egg white omelette with 2 eggs (85 cals)

•1 slice of toast (66 cals)

•low cal cream cheese (~10 cals)

•2 slices chicken breast (20 cals)

•bell pepper (23 cals)

•orange juice (98 cals)

Lunch:

skipped

Dinner:

•salad (~100 cals)

•2 slices baguette (~140 cals)

•2 slices chicken breast (~20 cals)

Snack:

•orange juice (~200 cals)

~~~

Total intake:

~762 cals

Burned:

~60 cals

Net:

~702 cals

~~~

Weight:

57.8kg || 127.4lbs

Gained 0.2kg || 0.4lbs

Food diary, Tuesday June 1 2021

Breakfast:

•an apple (80 cals)

•1 slice of toast (66 cals)

• low cal cream cheese (~10 cals)

•2 slices of chicken breast (~20 cals)

Lunch:

skipped

Dinner:

•spaghetti (~500 cals)

Snack:

•oat biscuits (~522 cals)

•4 corny free (268 cals)

•turkey ham (48 cals)

~~~

Total intake:

~1513 cals

Burned:

~165 cals

Net:

~1348 cals

~~~

Weight:

57.6kg || 127lbs

Lost 0kg || 0lbs

We’re going swimming tomorrow.

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME EARLIER I’M NOT PREPARED WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW I JUST BINGED YESTERDAY HOW DO I GET RID OF BLOATING?😩

Food diary, Monday may 31 2021

Breakfast:

•an apple (~80 cals)

Lunch:

skipped

Dinner:

•soup (~150 cals)

Snack:

•cake (389 cals) this ended everything for me

•corny free (67 cals)

•oat cookies (783 cals)

•crisps (270 cals)

I went on a walk afterwards.

~~~

Total intake:

~1739 cals

Burned:

~670 cals

Net:

~1069 cals

~~~

57.6kg || 127lbs

Lost 0.5kg || 1.1lbs

~~~

My mum wanted me to go to town to buy some cake, and this ended things for me. I did go on a walk afterwards, my mum still doesn’t believe me lmao. Yeah, today’s June 1, I decided that “this was going to be the month” so I haven’t binged yet. I hope it’ll go well, I’m on the edge already.

Stay safe

Food diary, Sunday may 30 2021

Breakfast/Lunch:

•roll (200 cals)

•low cal cream cheese (~15 cals)

•chicken breast (~60 cals)

Lunch/Dinner:

•Mac and cheese (~650 cals? I have no idea.)

Snack:

nothing

~~~

Total intake:

~925 cals

Burned:

~670 cals

Net:

~255 cals

~~~

Weight:

58.6kg || 129lbs

Gained 0.5kg || 1.1lbs

~~~

Wasn’t that much of an exciting day, I sobered out and later hung out with my neighbor and his friends. Was too busy to eat lol

Stay safe

Food diary, Saturday may 29 2021

Breakfast:

•1 slice of toast (66 cals)

•low cal cream cheese (~10 cals)

•3 slices chicken breast (~30 cals)

Lunch:

•roll (~250 cals)

•spring rolls (250 cals)

Dinner:

•2 rolls with toppings (~700 cals? Idek what was on there)

Snacks: (and liquids in this case)

•some pastry (~350 cals? Again, no idea.)

•crisps (~100 cals?)

•chocolate (~150 cals?)

•cake (~600 cals??? Idfk I was drunk okay)

•alcohol. So much alcohol and fucking alcohol mixed with coke and sprite too😀 (~600 cals)

•some lemonade? (~150 cals)

~~~

Total intake:

~3256 cals

Burned:

~430 cals

Net:

~2826 cals

~~~

Weight:

58.1kg || 128lbs

Gained 1kg || 2.2lbs

~~~

It’s a miracle I only gained 500g from that night. I did very well the whole day, I planned my meals and got around pretty good, but at night my mum dragged me to my neighbors birthday party. He turned 18, I didn’t know it was his birthday. I started drinking a bit with my mum, and later met a very nice guy with whom I drank the whole night (we literally drank until like 6am, while everybody fell asleep around 3 lmfao). So yeah, I wasn’t necessarily wasted because even though I drank all night, we only had drinks while talking. As I said, I wasn’t necessarily wasted but I had a good buzz. Then I ate a bit cause I started feeling dizzy and later I ate just because. But... yeah, as I said, it’s a miracle I only gained 500g that night. I didn’t even sleep a lot, I walked home around 7:30 am and fell asleep at 8:15, got up at 12, weighed myself and yeah that’s it lol. I’m glad I didn’t gain a lot more though. And I had quite some fun for sure :)

I hope you’re doing alright. Stay safe

Food diary, Friday may 28 2021

Breakfast:

skipped

Lunch:

•half an eggplant filled with minced beef and vegetables (?) (~350 cals)

•butter roll with sausage (~423 cals)

Dinner:

•wonton (190 cals)

Snack:

•chocolate truffles (312 cals)

•corny free (67 cals)

•crisps (197 cals)

•oat cookies (Bare with me-) (609 cals)

~~~

Total intake:

~2213 cals

Burned:

~420 cals

Net:

~1793 cals

~~~

Weight:

57.1kg || 126lbs

Lost 0.5kg || 1.1lbs

~~~

Binge day...another one. Ugh.

I’m not active at the moment, I know and I’m sorry but it kills me that I keep binging and everyone on here is doing so good. Might not come online for the next couple of days as well, but I’m posting all of my food diaries now.

Stay safe

ijustwannabemfskinny

Tw: purging

I do not support purging on purpose, nobody should go through this. This is a personal venting mechanism, nothing you should take to heart or try to follow.

I can’t make myself throw up with a toothbrush so I’m trying other methods now

Just gulped down half a glass of salt water, this is so gross I swear to god. Does anybody have experience with how this works?

I can feel my stomach not reacting well to it, but I don’t know if it’ll make me throw up. I rarely throw up and can’t physically make myself do so with the help of a toothbrush as well. I’m scared to drink too much though cause, you know, too much salt can be very dangerous and stuff.

Stay safe, please.

ijustwannabemfskinny

It’s about six hours later and I haven’t thrown up. Bruh. But i started to feel a funny feeling in my stomach 10 mins ago and I might throw up. I don’t feel sick though. Maybe I should try purging or something. I know it wouldn’t do anything now anyways but I had another two binges, the last one just 10 minutes ago. My calorie intake today is somewhere above 3k, yay.

I’ll update if I throw up anytime tonight.

Stay safe

Tw: purging

I do not support purging on purpose, nobody should go through this. This is a personal venting mechanism, nothing you should take to heart or try to follow.

I can’t make myself throw up with a toothbrush so I’m trying other methods now

Just gulped down half a glass of salt water, this is so gross I swear to god. Does anybody have experience with how this works?

I can feel my stomach not reacting well to it, but I don’t know if it’ll make me throw up. I rarely throw up and can’t physically make myself do so with the help of a toothbrush as well. I’m scared to drink too much though cause, you know, too much salt can be very dangerous and stuff.

Stay safe, please.

Food diary, Thursday may 27 2021

Breakfast:

skipped

Lunch:

skipped

Dinner:

•fish (96 cals)

•spinach (~30 cals)

•potato edges (~160 cals)

Snack:

•2 coffees with milk and vanilla (~120 cals)

~~~

Total intake:

~406 cals

Burned:

~285 cals

Net:

~121 cals

~~~

Weight:

58.1kg || 128lbs

Gained 0.5kg || 1lbs

~~~

I felt extremely guilty having dinner yesterday, because of the two coffees. The realization that I might actually be back on my bs makes me so happy. I need to lose so much weight, I wasted so much time, these last two months were nothing but a disaster. I got to make up for it!

Stay safe

Food diary, Wednesday may 26 2021

Breakfast:

skipped

Lunch:

skipped

Dinner:

skipped

Snack:

•low cal pudding (324 cals)

•Oreos (437 cals)

•berries (~40 cals)

• tortillas (~354 cals)

•italian breadsticks (~396 cals)

•idk the name, some pastry (~722 cals)

~~~

Total intake:

~2273 cals

Burned:

~760 cals

Net:

~1513 cals

~~~

Weight:

57.6kg || 127lbs

Lost 0.5kg || 1lbs

~~~

I binged later that night. I noticed that once I have something that isn’t a proper meal (aka once I have more than 500 cals) I go like “fuck it” and ruin everything. It’s fine though, it happened two days ago, and I haven’t binged ever since :)

Stay safe

Food diary, Tuesday may 25 2021

Breakfast:

skipped

Lunch:

skipped

Dinner:

•pizza (~420 cals)

Snack:

•2 cornys (132 cals)

~~~

Total intake:

~552 cals

Burned:

~340 cals

Net:

~212 cals

~~~

Weight:

58.1kg || 128lbs

Lost 0kg || 0lbs

~~~

I forgot to post so I’ll do the past three days now. I decided to quit the diets I was planning on doing (oh wow that lasted long), because every time I tried to fast/liquid fast/ have under 200 cals my mum forced me on dinner. So yeah, BUT I think I’m back on my bs, I felt so guilty having dinner yesterday because I had had 2 coffees (120 cals in total) already and it still upsets me lmao. Yeah, I’m happy to kinda be back on my bs I guess? It’s time to lose some weight!!

Also, on Tuesday I almost binged, but I could stop myself after the second corny, so I guess this is something, I didn’t count it as a binge day :)

Stay safe

“Do or do not, there is no try”

Mf possibly just saved me from my month long binge cycle. I can either lose the weight or not, if I try and stop in the middle of the progress because of a small fail, I’ll never make it. But I have to be strong, I have to do it; there’s no try, i need to stay focused on my goals and just freaking do it.

Food diary, Monday may 24 2021

Yesterdays Diet: Desire’s Diet

Limit: 800 cals

Breakfast:

skipped

Lunch:

•noodles (~200 cals)

•chicken, mushrooms and sauce (~150 cals)

Dinner:

Skipped

Snack:

•cake (~240 cals)

•tiramisu (~735 cals)

•corny free (65 cals)

•one tomatoe (~20 cals)

~~~

Total intake:

~1410 cals

Burned:

~660 cals

Net:

~750 cals

~~~

Limit: 800

Net: 750

Succeeded

~~~

Weight:

58.1kg || 128.1lbs

Lost 0.4kg || 0.9lbs

~~~

Okay, believe it or not, I was forced to eat the cake for once. My mum invited my neighbors and we ate the rest of the cake left from my mum’s birthday. I did have a little bit more than necessary though. I went on two walks to make up for it though, and burned it all of :)

Today is a fast day, I hope I will make it!

Stay safe

Food diary, Sunday may 23 2021

Breakfast:

skipped

Lunch:

•noodles with sauce (215 cals)

Dinner:

•2 slices of buttered bread (270 cals)

•some sausage (140 cals)

Snack:

•Ice cream (220 cals)

•tiramisu (980 cals) (yes. I’m not proud.)

~~~

Total intake:

~1825 cals

Burned:

~540 cals

Net:

~1285 cals

~~~

Weight:

58.5kg || 129lbs

Lost 0kg || 0lbs

~~~

Dinner ruined it for me, because after I thought it was a good idea to have tiramisu. Anyways, I’m starting a diet today, and I’m really excited for it!

Stay safe

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