Do I know what’s going on? Nope.

They/Them Call me Lee

[izzycorruptedarchive]

Palpatine: Execute Order 66.

Chip: Comply.

Fox: No. Chip: …Excuse me?

Fox: I have reviewed your request and determined it does not align with current Coruscant Guard policy.

Chip: That's not how this works.

Fox: Appeal denied.

[1-800-crscnt]

sometimes i like to imagine Fox or Thire (mostly Fox) behaving sort of like miranda priestly or at least having that sort of affect on the rest of the Guard and some of the GAR troopers (and Anakin, which is always hilarious to me). in Thire's case, this is learned from Fox & his own experience and made worse over the years. of course he cant treat anakin-now-vader like Fox does/did, but the intent is always there in each interaction, which Vader can obviously feel but doesn't care enough most times to even acknowledge. i also just like the idea of Thire never really raising his voice like her and tying that in with Stone's (unintentional) influence as well.

[cc1010fox]

Fox, walking into his office to see Wolffe sipping nothing out of his mug, Cody looking out of his office window like a vigilante looking over his corrupt city, and Bly sitting in his chair...albeit on the opposite side of his desk where Fox won't have to shoot him: What are you three doing? Wolffe: Knock before you enter, Commander Not-Fox. Fox, sighing: Not this again... Cody, sighing dramatically: Commander Fox, can you tell Commander Not-Fox that I'm trying to brood? Bly: Commander Fox is trying to brood. Fox: Is this how you think I act? Thorn, knocking on the office door: Hey, is there a meeting going on? Fox: N-- Wolffe, sighing into his pretend-coffee: Do you need something, Thorn? Cody, talking like he's contemplating the cursed city outside: Everyone needs something on Coruscant, something I can't give them... Bly, dropping his head into his hands over the desk: I'm too busy for this right now, Thorn... Fox, shaking his head: You three are-- Thorn: Why are they all acting like you? Fox: ...

[totally-correct-star-wars]

Fox: Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. Fox: On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.

[izzycorruptedarchive]

The Coruscant Guard handbook did not originally have a section titled "Do Not Patrol the Senate Through the Ventilation System."

It does now.

[artistapreguissosa]

Oh Hello Angron— wait... Why... WHY are You on the New God of War trailer?

Sekhmet and Murugan over here he having Wraith Lotara and Daemon Prince of Khorne vibes.

Also no idea what the furry frog is, or The Slime with his sword friend, but I love them already.

This looks so coooool—SURELY nobody is gonna get angry at a GOW game where we play as Laufey, that won't happen, right???

[mutopians]

azula redemption fic where azula gets redeemed after zuko's kid is born and she gets horribly attached to izumi without meaning to. also known as: azula having her iroh moment. she's not happy about everyone making this comparison in the slightest

[byjove]

this cavefish has a concept of the passage of time that no other living animal could fathom

[bluttto]

“Everyone has the same 24h” yeah right buddy say that to cavefish

[byjove]

almost all animals have set activity and rest patterns and this guy does whatever whenever

[prokopetz]

Speaking of medieval history, it's fun how the popular accounts are all "the peasantry disliked nobles, but typically loved the King and attributed any harmful decisions to bad advisors", and then the rare examples of surviving testimony from actual peasants are like "I hope the King literally explodes".

[prokopetz]

Popular histories: Medieval peasants understood themselves as inhabiting a cosmic order in which the King was their divinely appointed superior.

Actual medieval peasant: God, please set the King and everyone who looks like him on fire, Amen.

[commander-fox-enthusiasts]

Senator: I saw one of you kissing another man.

Fox: I see. So.. what are you reporting?

Senator: I just told you.

Fox: I’m not going to punish one of my troopers for having Charisma and getting some.

Senator: EXCUSE YOU?

Anakin, coming out from under the desk: excuse YOU!

[1-800-crscnt]

idea: sometimes Stone will really enjoy the scenery of a planet he's on and send photos of it to the rest of the Coruscant Commanders and a good chunk of his men. Fox hasn't left the planet since he was stationed there, Thorn hardly ever leaves unless he's asked for, and Thire only leaves a little more than Thorn, so they all really appreciate it in their own ways (even though there might be some bitterness). Stone considers giving some of the more artisticslly inclined inmates and guardsmen a chance to recreate the images on canvas, for morale and all that, but isn't optimistic that he'd be able to get enough art supplies, even though he has a Commander Fox at his disposal.

[xxkitsuneknightxx]

What if the coruscant guard drink poison for fun?

There’s bets on who can drink the most poison to whoever can last without taking antidotes. Tournaments and score boards are a thing that happen and change constantly.

When a Corrie ask if you want to go get a drink they don’t just mean alcohol. If someone ever offers you food never accept it cause it’s probably laced. At this point the guard are so used to it they forget others don’t do it for fun.

[stealthetrees]

Commander Fox fucking loses it: the fic

Incident Reports From the Coruscant Guard is the first in the series, where Fox shows up to Coruscant and decides that no, actually, he will not be following perfectly resonable orders like "arrest that man for stealing" and "im your boss we need to have meetings to discuss security, which is your job" and instead flies off the rails with astonashing grace to preform activites like credit card fraud, forgery, and possibly treason. He is also in denial about adopting his little brothers, who he loves dearly dispite their general attitudes to commiting crimes that could likely get them executed.

[cc1010fox]

Corrie to another Corrie: They want me to unclog their fresher. Fox that. Fox: ... Thire: I'm sorry. I have tried to punish them for it. They won't stop. Corrie to another Corrie: That guy got mad at me for how I saved his tooka. I saved his tooka! Well, Fox him and his over-sized tooka! Fox: ... Thorn: Yeeeah, I don't know where that came from... Corrie to another Corrie: Bro, I am on my third shift because you won't pull your weight. Seriously, Fox this-- Fox: ... Stone: Hey! Watch your mouth! And don't you dare take another shift for your vod! In fact, get your shebs back in your bunk. Your vod is taking your next two shifts so you can rest. Fox, making an announcement: The next time I hear one of you use my name as an expletive, I'm assigning you to incinerator duty. Hound: Sir? It's not an expletive... Fox, sighing: Then what is it, sergeant? Hound: It's an attitude. You only use it when you're done with something. Hundreds of the braver Corries agree. Fox, sighing again: My warning still stands. Senator, snapping his fingers: Clone, come pick up my hound's mess. Quickly now. I will not be seen as someone who allows this. Fox, sighing: Fine. Hand me a bag. Senator: If I had bags, I would do it myself. Fox: ... Nearby Corries: ... Fox: ...Respectfully, sir, Fox you and your hound's osik. The Corries erupt in cheers.

[worm-strung-string]

Fox catching Quinlan and other jedi trying to sneak around with one change, motion sensor lights. Ruins their whole sneaking around. Unfortunately also ruins any poor clone trying to sneak a snake from the fridge. (And Palpatines dark aura farming)

[cc1010fox]

Trooper, out running with his squad: Commander Fox! How do I get my men to run like you? Fox, looking back at the struggling squad: Pretend you're escaping the Coruscant Guard! The squad runs past both of them. Trooper: ... Fox, chuckling: Yes, I do know. I don't know why most of you think I feel any different about it. Now pick up the pace, verd! Pretend they unleashed the massiffs!

[tangents-within-tangents]

not enough people talk about how the Coruscant Guard canonically take bribes from prisoners

and by not enough I mean no one. NO ONE is talking about this!??!

[flashthescalesian-art]

Thorn: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Fox, used to Thorn being dumb: Sure...

Thorn: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Fox: Okay?

Thorn: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Fox:

Thorn: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Fox: Force, that one is a little-

Pix, interested: No, no, Thorn, keep going.