[ileftmyheartinwesteros]

My dog died today. She was almost 10 and had a brain tumor and spinal injuries. I'm going insane with grief.

[ileftmyheartinwesteros]

My dog is dying. She's declining so fast. Sunday she was fine, had zoomies, then she stopped eating, couldn't get up, can't walk. She may have a brain tumor and possible spinal cord injuries. I'm fucking heartbroken 💔

It hasn't even been a year since my other dog died and now Momo is dying too.

[ileftmyheartinwesteros]

I think I'm going to cry a lot when the time comes to move to Germany. I own the house I'm living in. I can point out exactly where my child took her first ever steps. I can show you the spot in my bedroom next to my bed where my soul dog died, and the exact spot in the backyard where I buried some of her fur. The wildflowers that come back every year were first planted by my husband and I. There's the rose bush I got for one Mother's Day. When I was deep in postpartum anxiety I practically worshipped the furnace in the basement for keeping the house warm for my 2 month old when it was -25*F outside. There's the upstairs spare bedroom where I let 2 of my sisters live to escape our abusive parents.

We are planning on renting out our house but I am going to miss my home and Colorado for the next 4 or 5 years 😭💔 I wanna grow old in this house, but I also want not to be afraid to go overseas and have an adventure or two. It's just so hard. I've lived in Colorado for almost 13 years, which is longer than I've ever lived anywhere in my whole life, so it's going to be hard to leave 💔

[infected]

The Royal Portuguese Reading Room, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Photo by Sr. Santos Sra. Palmas

[xphaiea]

Ancient silver coin, Eretria, Euboea, Greece, 500-480BC

[ileftmyheartinwesteros]

I dont wanna move to Germany 😭💔 But I do because it's an incredible opportunity and im just scared. We're already planning a trip to Paris. My kid wants to go to Disney and I want to go to the catacombs. It's just a lot to take in. I had already accepted that we weren't going to leave Colorado.

I'm going to take a trip to Las Vegas in September so I can see my sister and her new baby for the last time for awhile 💔😭 I never thought i would ever be an auntie, and before shes even born I found out I'm going to miss the first like 5 years of her life 😭💔

I'm sure tomorrow I'll be excited again. Just a lot of mixed feelings about Germany.

[ileftmyheartinwesteros]

I am moving to Germany 🇩🇪

I am partly excited. But also pretty sad to leave Colorado. I've never lived anywhere in my life as long as I have lived in Colorado. BUT it's temporary, only a few years, then I'll come back to the US. So I get to go there and have some adventures and then come back.

I am trying to learn German now.

[ileftmyheartinwesteros]

Well, I gotta have another ablation surgery. My endometrium grew back when it wasn't supposed to. I'm also going to have another D&C, even though I'm not pregnant. It's annoying but at least it's pretty minor.

[ileftmyheartinwesteros]

Well, we finally put together our list in my husband's job marketplace. We listed Korea three times in the top 10, germany, poland, auburn university. I have no idea what I'm going to do if we get stationed overseas 😅 i suppose it would be a wonderful adventure but I gotta panic about it too lol. Now we just need to wait until the army decides where to send us. I hate not knowing.

[insacredlight]

[ileftmyheartinwesteros]

I miss my dog. Some of her fur is buried right there. It's been almost a year and the grief still knocks the wind out of me.

[existingillusion]

Yosano Akiko, Tangled Hair (trans. Dennis Maloney and Hide Oshiro)

[lanndscape]

[simena]

[eggsdoodz]

i think i think i think

[dailyclassicart]

Vilhelm Arnesen - "Sunset at Aalborg" (1909)

[silvestriste]

Orchard House, home of Louisa May Alcott, in Concord, Massachusetts.