Incorrect hetalia quotes

I make somewhat funny hetalia incorrect quotes. I also run iliketothimkimclever. They/them.

[iliketothimkimfunny]

Kidnapper: We have your son. Castile: I don't have a son. Kidnapper: Then who just asked for a warm chocolate milk and made us cut the crusts off his sandwich? Castile: Oh my god! You have Aragon!

[iliketothimkimfunny]

I want to make fun of stupid people while I get drunk, my two true passions.

Romano

[iliketothimkimfunny]

Spain: I'm 23, I'm a celebrity and today, I'm going to die. Castile: No word of that was true.

[iliketothimkimfunny]

I'm going to say that there's a chance that I didn't think this through completely.

Prussia, after getting young Germany and realising he has no idea what to do with a child

[iliketothimkimfunny]

100 posts!

[iliketothimkimfunny]

Japan to Germany and Italy: Hey guys, I just discovered a new drug. Japan: It's called your relationship, and I'm high on it.

[iliketothimkimfunny]

Oh, I love Paris! At least how its represented in Ratatouille.

America

[iliketothimkimfunny]

Denmark: I need someone to fill out a lineup. Will you be scary Tino? Finland: Oh, I love being scary Tino. He says what regular Tino's thinking. Finland: THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG! I'M GOING TO MISS THE FARMER'S MARKET!

[iliketothimkimfunny]

England, talking about America: Once he starts talking about burgers, he's basically useless until he eats a burger.

[iliketothimkimfunny]

Watching Mulan China: Do you know what the lesson is? Vietnam: Don't get married. Go to war.

[iliketothimkimfunny]

I hate people. Life sucks. Nothing good ever happens.

Romano

[iliketothimkimfunny]

Scotland, about PortEng: How did the break-up go? England: Well, I started crying because he gave me some gold. England: And then we made out and spent the night together. England: But this morning, in the cold light of day, I cooked breakfast, and we made out some more. England: ... Wales: Wow, you opposite-of-broke-up with him. Ireland: And then you poisoned him.

[iliketothimkimfunny]

Scandinavia: What kind of woman doesn't have an axe? Germania:...

[iliketothimkimfunny]

Scotland, during the auld alliance: I'm not doing too well. I have this headache that comes and goes. France:(Walks into the room) Scotland: Oh look, there it is again.

[iliketothimkimfunny]

Romano: Spain and I slept together. Belgium: And? Romano: I thought you'd be a little more shocked. Belgium: Oh, sorry. Belgium, in a shocked voice: And?!

[iliketothimkimfunny]

With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

Romano, at any given moment

[iliketothimkimfunny]

He gets distracted by loud noises, the colour red, smooth jazz, shiny things, food smells, music boxes, shiny things, boobs, barking dogs and anyone saying “look over there!”

Germany describing Italy