if there's anyone still following me out there please don't mind the yaoi uhhhhhjjj can a little guy be gay or nah I thought this was a safe space.......... 🦠
It makes me insane how Yuu reacts to Ijuuin's affection and consideration towards him.
I: I'm glad.
I: It makes me very happy that you said that. (that Yuu wanted his rematch in bed)
I: I'll work hard too, in order to make you feel good, Yanase-kun.
Y: No, you don't have to do anything, Sensei.
Y: I just thought about that by my own/without asking you, so...
I: Yanase-kun.
I: You should accept a little more the fact that I love you. (he actually says something like "you're loved by me" but that wording is kinda weird, methinks)
I: Okay?
See?
Doing things like that
He blocks my escape routes.
Like, first time doing penetrative sex wasn't all pleasurable, but Yuu puts all the responsibility on himself and says that Ijuuin shouldn't do anything. While Yuu's idolization may be at play here, I think that Yuu still doesn't think that he's someone suitable for Ijuuin. (Which reminds me of the Sentiment chapter where Ijuuin goes to Yuu's house, and Yuu was about to break up with him and explicitly told him that there must be someone more suitable for him)
I've already talked about Yuu's self-esteem as a professional here, but is really interesting (and kinda sad ngl) how he actually has a low self-esteem in general. Like, this though bubble he has on The ☆ Kan exhibition, after thinking how amazing Ijuuin is for being able to reunite so many fans that genuinely love him.
... That's precisely why I don't understand why someone like him loves me.
A lot of time has passed, but Yuu realizing that he isn't capable of making interesting stories and giving up on becoming a mangaka must have really deal a blow in his confidence and self-esteem, even to this day (´・ω・｀) Like, in a way, he doesn't think that he deserves being loved by Ijuuin, because he's so awesome, so why would he end up falling in love with him?
Yeah, Yuu still idealizes Ijuuin, but can we blame him? Like, I think it's not far fetched to think that Yuu started drawing because of The ☆ Kan. In a way, Yuu wouldn't be the person he is today if it weren't for Ijuuin.
Which! Makes me love Ijuuin's response even more. Yuu tries to dismiss Ijuuin by telling him that he doesn't need to do anything, because this is something that he decided on his own, but Ijuuin tells him that he should accept (a little more) the fact that he loves him, meaning that he wants to try his best to make Yuu feel good too, because he loves him. He wants to do things for Yuu too and Yuu should let him, because those actions are born from Ijuuin's love towards Yuu.
Also, Yuu thinking that when Ijuuin says things like that, he blocks his escape routes makes me insane. Like, Ijuuin tells him that he wants to make him feel good too, because he loves and he should accept that fact and Yuu feels kinda threatened? I think that kind of response (from Yuu) comes from the fact that he's kinda scared of facing his feelings for Ijuuin, because they're more deep than he likes to admit. Like, he just isn't ready to be honest with himself and to face the fact that this relationship isn't as casual as it was when Ijuuin first proposed it.
Bonus of Yuu panicking about the fact he's dating Ijuuin✨
Is relatively common to hear stories about female assistants dating their mangakas or marrying them.
If I think it's the same as that, I understand that it isn't something specially weird.
BUT!!!
Is it really fine?!
This is the author of The ☆ Kan, the best super popular mangaka in all the world!
Is it fine for someone like him to date me?
Yeah, idealization comes into play, but also the fact that Yuu is Yuu plays a big role in his thoughts. Like, is it okay for him to date someone as awesome as Ijuuin?? You make me insane Yuu Yanase (´；ω；｀)♡
kaledo-art
jbbartram-illu
annaxmalina
discoholicmusic
theartofmadeline
gummygunk
stormborns
