[illegally-tired]

lol my new coworker/co-counsel was in court with me in my *usual* county and court was so horrible that she her first words getting in the car to leave were “let’s get the fuck out of here”

she gets it

[illegally-tired]

have you ever driven 4.5 hours one way to argue a motion to suppress only to be told the clerks never accepted the filing so, even though the state has been on notice for over a week, you just… drive back?

because I have 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[cattorneyatlaw]

[illegally-tired]

at least my girlfriend didn’t turn into the moon I guess

[illegally-tired]

UPDATE ON THIS

THESE CLERKS ARE UNDER INVESTIGATION BECAUSE THEY WERE INTENTIONALLY NOT SUMMONSING (Summoning? Idk) JURORS WHO COULD BE FAVORABLE TO THE DEFENSE

I knew those fuckers were crooked. Lock em up

[illegally-tired]

I’m back in an office and the chronic illness is chronic-illing 😔

[illegally-tired]

Do people actually still follow me

If you do and you’re an attorney, tell me the dumbest thing you had to argue. I’ll go first:

That defense witnesses are meant to contradict the state’s evidence

[flawschool]

That a witness is likely to be biased against someone he owes a million* dollars.

*amount somehow not exaggerated for comedic effect

[msvelawciraptor]

As a public defender, there are just so many options. But for this, I'll go with the classic "not my pants" defense for possession of a controlled substance. Everyone hears that one from a client or a colleague talking about a client at some point.

Runner up is the Costco shopper defense to trafficking: I know that seems like a lot of meth/weed/whatever, but they were just stocking up for personal use. Bonus points during COVID lockdowns for arguing they were being responsible in their use by minimizing how often they were having contact with others to feed their habit.

[illegally-tired]

LOL I’ve had all three!!

I guess my prompt was kinda vague - the dumb thing I had to argue was dumb bc it should be common fucking sense… These are just dumb™

[illegally-tired]

Do people actually still follow me

If you do and you’re an attorney, tell me the dumbest thing you had to argue. I’ll go first:

That defense witnesses are meant to contradict the state’s evidence

[illegally-tired]

judge almost revoked my client’s bond today because he couldn’t get to court after the hurricane flooded his city yesterday

this is why I’m tired!!

[illegally-tired]

lol I was so tired and really didn’t want to see this client today but I f’ed up and told his gf I was on my way to the jail he was in. when I got there it was after 5, shift change, and dinner so I kindaaaa asked them to “turn me away”

still have to go back tomorrow but man I did not have the energy for this dude today

[illegally-tired]

turns out he dug a big hole and dragged me down into it by giving me a serious ethical dilemma! thanks client

[illegally-tired]

lol I was so tired and really didn’t want to see this client today but I f’ed up and told his gf I was on my way to the jail he was in. when I got there it was after 5, shift change, and dinner so I kindaaaa asked them to “turn me away”

still have to go back tomorrow but man I did not have the energy for this dude today

[illegally-tired]

I think y’all will be so happy to know that kyle—yes, that kyle—has been voted out of office AND replaced by a personal friend of mine

it’s been a long time coming

[illegally-tired]

have you ever driven 4.5 hours one way to argue a motion to suppress only to be told the clerks never accepted the filing so, even though the state has been on notice for over a week, you just… drive back?

because I have 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[cattorneyatlaw]

[illegally-tired]

at least my girlfriend didn’t turn into the moon I guess

[illegally-tired]

have you ever driven 4.5 hours one way to argue a motion to suppress only to be told the clerks never accepted the filing so, even though the state has been on notice for over a week, you just… drive back?

because I have 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[illegally-tired]

🗣️ I love my clients!!!!!!

[illegally-tired]

you know what I truly think has helped me so much as a PD?

being fucking annoying. with no shame.

I’ll bug the shit out of someone until I get an answer. I’ll ask question after question after question of a judge, prosecutor, client, whatever until I understand or they tell me to f off.

idk if it’s being a little sister or just a relentless advocate for my clients but it has gotten me a lot in this job

[inloveforevr-deactivated2025041]

Self improvement is great but ultimately? you have to accept your self. Yes you can eat better, exercise more, read more, set boundaries, love your self, but it all comes down to this. Some days you won’t have the energy to do any of these things. And you’ll look in the mirror and think that this is not enough. That’s a lie. The biggest love for self is to live slowly. To rest. To really rest. Have a nap. Eat what makes you feel good. Read if you want to. Embrace yourself and accept that you cannot and will not be ever be perfect. Accept that you are good enough. You don’t need to keep busy all the time. you don’t need to go out all the time and post on instagram. You don’t need to journal if you don’t want to. You don’t need to make art if you don’t want to. Breathe, give yourself grace and compassion. Give yourself the love and tenderness you so badly need. Be gentle with yourself. You are trying and it is good enough. You are good enough.

[inloveforevr-deactivated2025041]

A beautiful poem that illustrates my point

[sodom-hussein]

Happy tax season to my US followers

[illegally-tired]

I love this because when I say “everyone has broken the law” I mean if you haven’t broken any other law, you’ve definitely lied to the IRS, even if accidentally

[illegally-tired]

Absolutely nothing like calling a shithead officer a liar in open court

[illegally-tired]

Was it karma or just a stupid coincidence that my wife and I got stopped today 😂😂

[illegally-tired]

Absolutely nothing like calling a shithead officer a liar in open court