Illegitimateapple

Don't worry Doctors, this apple is a fake.

[illegitimateapple]

"And don't let the door hit you on the way out!" I yell, pushing you towards the open frame. Disgruntled, you walk out and suddenly a cartoonishly large hand comes out of the door and slaps your ass.

[mcdolans]

ha?

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot” in their ask box

[semememes-blog]

HOW

[lexiwestiiee]

I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRET

[takemewherethewildthingsare]

SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU

[clariphonete-deactivated2014111]

I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

[wrappingpaper]

there are over 128,000 notes and i still got one

how

[bbassam-deactivated20151227]

i reblogged this less than 2 minutes ago

how the actual fuck

[iamsensitive]

well

do not question

[sasstronauuut-deactivated201906]

ive done this before you truly do get doot doot in your askbox

[littlekawaiiusagi]

Lol doubt it

[person3737-blog]

Haha doubt this will work buuuut

[starbaby96]

What the hell, I’ll try it

[thepanicatthediscoaddict]

I GOT A DOOT DOOT

[from-under-the-lilacs]

I wants a doot doot

[weird-emo-human-deactivated2018]

hoooowwww does this work??!

[bulimicbunnny]

Idk man, like I don’t think it’ll work but 🤷🏼‍♀️

[iwannabeskinnbones]

Hehe😏 bet

[deactivated-blog]

Lets try it. Idk if it’ll work

[starscence]

IT WORKS

[remosdeerica]

What is this madness?

[bl4ckb0xw4rrior]

GIVE ME THE GOODS

[decipheredallay-deactivated2023]

hand it over

[ozzo-the-wozzo]

there are over 2 MILLION NOTES so I’m begging my followers not to send me a doot doot to cheat the system I have to see this for myself

[bambisncs]

won’t hurt to try i guess?

[stup1dr4t]

i will try ⠒̫⃝

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

What is this actually real-

[floppy-joppy-deactivated2023072]

i’m so confused, what the fu?-

[paintoreos]

Idk if it will happen, reblogging soon if it did or not :D

[mydarlingdahlia]

I want a doot doot in my inbox :3

[ahashiraswife-deactivated202412]

I want a doot doot too >:0

[imelzz-deactivated20240227]

hi

[asterrioxs]

please tell me this works please tell me this works plea

[pearbranch14823]

:D?

[sky-the-snail-fanatic-deactivat]

Give me the doot doots

[asexualmisconduct]

Doot Doot gimmie the doot doot

[newgod-apollo]

I wanna doot doot!!!

[chronically-online-figtree]

experimenting

[a-fucking-tornado]

I want a doot doot. Gimme a doot doot.

[lycheelsea]

Fascinating, I’d take a doot doot

[sharkyy599]

okay then!

[3amclothesmonster]

doot doot

[british-randyjade-reblogs]

Give a doot doot

[raedioactive]

doot doot pls???

[crazed-rambler-deactivated20240]

I wanna doot doot but i am doubtful

[a-mimic-and-a-jester]

it wont work i swear..

[drhoneycombhoneystick]

This won’t work butttttt-

Worth a try!

🤪🤷‍♀️

[squirrelboi]

bring on the dootage

[reversed-ragatha-blog]

OOC: Bring the sillyness.

[illegitimateapple]

Pingu could get it.

[itsapmseymour]

NO LITTLE GERMAN BOY, Don’t go inside the TUMBLR CAVE!

[illegitimateapple]

Ohhh nein... not the Tumblr cave!

But why not? It looks all sparkly and fun... there's fanart and pastel blogs and— Wait... why is everyone yelling about ships from shows I’ve never seen?! And why does every post have a thousand tags with inside jokes I don’t understand?! I just wanted to see some cartoons... now I'm being dragged into a debate about whether two sad men are "canonically in love" or just emotionally repressed!

Bitte... please… don’t leave me here... they're calling me a “cringe baby” for asking what a “blorbo” is... wait, that Wonka?

*Muffled screaming*

[illegitimateapple]

currently lost in Gotham, anyone need anything?

[illegitimateapple]

Sometimes, I go for a walk without music to not fast travel. I wanna feel the pain.

[illegitimateapple]

Please report any of your colleagues who are using the wrong keycard during their duties no matter how familiar they are.

[illegitimateapple]

Character Idea:

An incredibly animated prosecuter/defense lawyer who is perpetually holding a cup of coffee. However, the constant gag is that they have complete disregard for the cup of fluid they are holding as they flail their arms around during their argument.

The coffee will always stay in the cup, only flying upwards and landing back in comically in serious situations or covering someone when needed.

The cup is bottomless, no-one questions it.

[illegitimateapple]

[illegitimateapple]

I like Snoot Game.

[illegitimateapple]

Making a post before bed is like leaving a tooth under my pillow when I was a kid. like. here you go internet. my little thought. my crumb of opinion that needs validation that cannot wait. Give me my like, reblog, or anything.

[illegitimateapple]

Using tumblr and also being apart of a Tumblr Subreddit is pretty weird. It's like being the animals in the zoo, and a confused tourist looking on at the same time.

[illegitimateapple]

May I please remind everyone the Survivorship Bias where @itsapmseymour is not actually everywhere and seeing everyones post, but is only being seen once they reply to one?

[illegitimateapple]

Joshua Lopes-Costa, literally the coolest person ever with a heart of gold.

[illegitimateapple]

Amelia Atkinson, 8 years old and may have eaten her pet hampster.

[illegitimateapple]

Dino Lombardi, Italian Racecar Driver and 2 Time Marino Grand Prix Champion.

[illegitimateapple]

Andrew 'Andy' Nelmoore, Student at WWCS.

[illegitimateapple]

Angie Marlone, Junior Florist at 'Best Buds Plant Emporium'.