Stuff that dreams are made of...

“A woman should be able to kiss a man beautifully and romantically without any desire to be either his wife or his mistress.” —F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful And Damned

[kingwizardandthelizardgizza-blog]

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

[quasarkisses]

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay

“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

[nudityandnerdery]

And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

[assassinregrets]

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

[marsdaydream]

I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.

[did-you-know]

Source

[zeefsterface]

@jrrtolkiennerd look

[illyriabound-blog]

Affirmations in a Moment

There have been serval affirmations I have found difficult to fully commit to over the past few practices. I’m going to run through a few now, to shed my emotional skin. Start anew. (Or possibly just annoy the two people who read this with my mindless rambling.)

It has not that these affirmations have not, in some way, been helpful, rather that my mind has been in an unfortunately toxic place. It has been tainting all I do with a sense of dread, worry, anxiety, that seeps into all I do. I think these little devils were hiding away at the back of my mind, but only chose to come out to play this week.  

Embrace accept or support (a belief, theory, or change) willingly and enthusiastically

This definition would have been extremely helpful a few days ago. Not because I do not have a basic understanding of what embracing something means, but because it took me half of the yoga practice to get hugging out of my head. The physical manifestation of the word was the only thing I could think of, and I did not want to hug myself. I ended up choosing the phrase “I embrace my sense of play” as my mantra.I have to say it worked brilliantly. Every little mishap that happened during the practice, I took as an interesting diversion. When I went to the gym, I was beaming whilst on the cardio machines because I was genuinely enjoying the One Direction song blasting through my headphones. I was happy, and took great joy in everything I did. 

Until some sharp edged piece of news burst my bubble of joy. 

I popped.  

I felt like the soapy residue always left behind by those once jubilant spheres.

This feeling carried into the next day. It didn’t help that that days affirmation was ‘I awaken”

Awaken to stop sleeping or to rouse (a feeling)

All I wanted to feel that day was my head against the nearest pillow. 

Nothing awoke within me. All I could think to do was let some sound out. Wake up my voice and make this practice a noisy one. 

Alive (of a person, animal, or plant) living, not dead.

It’s not always the most pleasant thing to think about, but sometimes it’s good to be reminded that, guess what? IT’S NOT THAT BAD BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT DEAD. You are alive, you are here, for better or for worse. Yes, you have some really shitty shitty days, or weeks, or months, or years even, but that doesn’t mean you get to forget the fact that you are a living being. Your life is probably pretty darn good (especially if you’re in a first world country typing on Tumblr when you should be asleep. Your life is a lot damn better than MANY other peoples)! It may not be great right now, but hey, normally you are okay.  As long as you are breathing (and have some form of mental alacrity) you can do some good. For your self, for others, for your cat, for that stink bug crawling on your kitchen counter - it doesn’t matter. Do one thing that is positive. See if it helps. News Bulletin: IT DOESN’T HAVE TO HELP. YOU CAN STILL FEEL LIKE CRAP AFTERWARDS BUT AT LEAST YOU CAN SAY YOU DID SOMETHING THAT DAY. 

Maybe it doesn’t help you (or your friend, or cat, or stink bug) now, in this exact moment, but it might. It’s worth a shot. Why? Because you are alive, dammit. 

Support (noun) a thing that bears the weight of something or keeps it upright

We are our own support - physically and mentally. Others can help, but true support comes from within. Be kind to yourself, and you might just be kind back. 

I feel like this was messy - broken up by random thoughts on various subjects. But that is me. That’s what I do. I also had quite a bit to get through. A lot can happen in a week. 

Namaste Bitches. 

[illyriabound-blog]

Create - a Verb

‘I create’ is a phrase I use often. Ok, that is not completely true. It is a phrase used often in relation to people in my line of work. I know what I think creation is, and what creating something means, but I thought, in the interest of science (ok not really but go with me here) I would look up its definition. 

Create Verb bring (something) into existence

Well now, that’s a powerful statement. Granted this is only the first definition. Others are...

cause (something) to happen as a result of one’s actions or (of an actor) originate (a role) by playing a character for the first time

See, we actors get a shout out.  But let’s focus on the first definition, as I feel the second definition is an obvious reaction to the first. 

to bring (something) into existence. 

Just take a moment, and think about what that means. Anything we deem worth bringing into existence, is created. This could be as tangible as a flower pot you made in pottery class, or as ephemeral as a thought. How much time do we spend creating each day? How much of what we create is for the betterment of ourselves, or others? If we create each thought, and these thoughts stick with us, and cling onto our psyches with an ever clenching grip, do these thoughts not become as tangible as that hand made flower pot?

Perhaps we should spend just a moment each day to remember that, for the most part, we do create our future. We daly create our own adventure. It is up to us whether that adventure will be cavernous, dark, and scary, or filled with sunny days, grassy mountains, and the soft kiss of fresh air. Now, there will always been unavoidable obstacles - there are billions of other people on their own adventures out there, and they aren’t all going to want to jump on your trail and share your granola. But you get to create your way of dealing with that tree that has fallen on your path. What is the best solution for both you and that poor leafy fellow? Did this tree maliciously fall down, making this dreadful impasse in your, otherwise, lovely hike? Or is he maybe in just as awful a position as you are?

Negativity will happen. You, or situations in your life, will create it. It is created in the same way a colourful painting, new business idea, or falling in love come to fruition. Recognise this. If this is recognised, it just might be possible to change that negativity into something better. Perhaps not happiness, perhaps not pure positivity, but something that feels better than where you were. 

Create space for yourself in which to breath. I found this incredibly helpful during my yoga practice (here comes the real hippy-dippy part). When I was encouraged to Create Space, my mind immediately went to breath. I suffer from asthma (woohoo can’t breath club!) and I can tense up in awful and unusual ways when breathing. Especially when I am told to notice my breath. OOF. Using this mantra to find different spaces into which I could breath was so relaxing, and made the act of consciously breathing much more enjoyable.

Create Space for yourselves guys. Create a space in which you can exist. Period. 

Namaste bitches. 

[illyriabound-blog]

January 2nd, 2016

Today was the first day of Yoga Camp (YWA’s new 30 Days of Yoga series). It is a combination of fun, and enlivening yoga, with daly mantras. This is to encourage not only physical change, but also mental, and emotional change. 

Today’s affirmation was: I accept. 

Do you know how hard it is to say the words “I accept” out loud? I thought “I’m an actor. I have done exercises where you have to shout phrases like ‘I am’ in a room full of people, and I haven’t felt self conscious about that!”  True. And I am not disputing that I meant the words “I am” at the time. I did, and I (usually) felt more alive afterwards. But, from my basic five minute diagnosis of this, I think I was telling other people that I was here, that I was alive. Today, it was me, talking to me. 

It is so difficult to accept your self. It is hard to read what is on the tin and go “Yes, I accept all of those ingredients.” I started off by thinking “I accept” quietly, in my mind. When I was invited to speak these words aloud, I, at first, thought it would be easy. In practice, I panicked when I was faced with forming my mouth around the words, my voice around the sounds, and my mind around the idea of acceptance. 

I do love so many pieces of my self. There are so many things I am grateful that I have - I’m talking not just physically and mentally, but about the experiences that have physically and mentally got me to where I am today. I am - in general - happy with my life, and where it is. And yet, I have issues accepting who I am, in full. There are things that make me feel bad. I could try to say that more eloquently, but simply is true. 

I challenge anyone who may come across this post, to accept a little piece of themselves today. Until we start accepting ourselves, as we are, and accepting there are things we can change, and we can change them, if we try. Most importantly though, we need to accept the things we can’t change. If we like these things, FANTASTIC. GO YOU.  If you don’t like these things, find a way to use them for good, rather than letting the idea of them eat away at our positivity. 

It is only by accepting our selves, that we can truly accept others. It’s an oldie, but a goodie. 

Namaste peoples. 

[illyriabound-blog]

I think this is important.

http://www.liftbump.com/2015/04/56322-dad-sends-his-little-girl-off-to-school-in-a-sun-dress-what-shes-in-at-pickup-leaves-him-seething/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=Partners&utm_term=PRM17&utm_content=inf_10_391_2&ts_pid=2

[snoopbloggyblogg-deactivated201]

You always talk smack about white people. That's reverse racism. If I said the same stuff about you, I'd be called a racist.

See that guy up there looking at you like you’re the crown ruler of all fuck ups? See how super white he is? Well, that ruggedly handsome devil is me.

Yup…I’m white. If I was Adam in the Biblical tale of Adam and Ave, God wouldn’t have made me out of dust/dirt. He would have made me out of Cool Whip and vanilla beans. That’s just how white I am.So, that puts an end to the whole “reverse racism” thing, doesn’t it? I’m a white man making fun of white people. You just got M. Night Shyamalan’d up in this bitch.

Also, racism doesn’t work that way. If a person of colour tells us we look like mayonnaise or that we’re weird as fuck because we don’t use wash cloths, that’s not racism. There’s no built in oppression there. That’s just commentary. Being mocked isn’t being held down. It isn’t being systematically deemed “lesser” by an entire group of people over years and years and years. It’s not based on anything. For racism to work (for want of a better term) there has to be that oppression. That’s why white people are so good at being racist.Also, white people being called out as racists isn’t racist. A person of colour saying “White people ruined hip hop” or “White people always steal pieces of our culture” isn’t racist. It’s the other way around. Iggy Azalea is racist. White people trying to pass durags off as high fashion is racist.

That’s why people hate us. Because we’re the most racist people on Earth and yet we don’t even understand how racism works.

[illyriabound-blog]

Informative. 

[lameasstrology]

self-destructing traits vs. empowering traits of the signs

aries: have a very low tolerance for their own mistakes but is your number one source of encouragement when you reach your own setbacks

taurus: find an excessive amount of pleasure in material things but will give all of that up instantly to spoil you instead

gemini: never settle on anything they love and lack passion or purpose in what they do but will commit to your interests to make you happy 

cancer: let the negative side of situations discourage them and close themselves off, not wanting to bother anyone but will sit with you for hours upon hours on end listening to what you have to say without complaint

leo: pride gets in their way of asking for help but are always willing to help you no matter what it is

virgo: criticize even their most lovely traits but rarely hesitate to call every part of you beautiful without end

libra: do not take their own problems seriously but will treat fixing whatever is that is bugging you as a top priority

scorpio: their own insecurity and self-doubt can lead to paranoia and mistrust but they always make room for your secrets and worries to carry on their shoulders so you don’t have to

sagittarius: refuse to settle down in fear of missing out on the next best thing but once they do, they really love you, and it’s forever

capricorn: set impossible-to-reach goals in order to literally prove to themselves that they’re not good enough but will absolutely refuse for you to do that to yourself and will even help ease you out of that pattern

aquarius: often miss out on some of the best parts of life by closing themselves off but they soon learn from this mistake and will do everything in their power to keep you from going through that, too

pisces: take what is said about them to heart without question but cannot bear listening to anyone else getting hurt and is always there for comfort

[illyriabound-blog]

“capricorn: set impossible-to-reach goals in order to literally prove to themselves that they’re not good enough but will absolutely refuse for you to do that to yourself and will even help ease you out of that pattern”

OH GOD how true...

[midnightjellys]

Ok like I’m here for the whole “if it doesn’t make you happy, don’t do it” movement but like, be smart, yeah? Don’t just quit your job out of the blue, even if it is soul sucking, get another job first. Don’t just kick your roommate out because you aren’t getting along, talk to them first. And don’t say absolutely everything that pops into your mind, because discretion will save your ass on occasion. I’m not saying you can’t live authentically, but be smart.

[illyriabound-blog]

One of the smartest blurbs I have seen on here. 

[violaboss]

classical musicians are depicted as “lame” because of the music they play, but when a violinist starts playing a pop song, they suddenly become “cool”

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

obviously. being able to play this is cool:

being able to play this isn’t:

[thatoddtrumpetgirl-deactivated2]

“People who think classical music is boring have never seen pop music from a sheet music point of view.” - another tumblr post I’ve seen.

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

reblogging again because that ^

[illyriabound-blog]

“Playing Mozart’s Piano Pieces as Mozart Did”

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/21/science/playing-mozart-piano-pieces-as-mozart-did.html?WT.mc_id=2015-JULY-FB-INT-ARTS_PROP-AUD_DEV-0701-0731&WT.mc_ev=click&ad-keywords=IntlAudDev&_r=2

Interesting Watch/Read. 

[illyriabound-blog]

RCSSDone

As of 17:30 today, I will be done with Grad School. This is not entirely true, I still have to write a 4,000 word paper but even so, today is the last day I have to physically go into school, and be a student. It’s thrilling and terrifying all at once. 

Unlike most of my peers, I was fortunate enough not to have to be in the education system for the entirety of my life. As far as I am aware, some people cannot remember a time that they were not in some form of institution (whether it be day care or Primary school). I only joined the normal school system when I was 14, and even then I entered into Community College. Not normal for a 14 year old. My point is saying that I have only been going to school full time for 5 years (part time 4 years, 9 total), and I am sick of school. I cannot imagine how people with normal education background have stood school for this long. 

You get to a point where you need to be yourself. You must want people to stop telling (or if they do it well, suggesting to) you how to think.  I want to be creative, by my self. I want to stop performing for teachers, and perform for me. No matter what they tell you in Drama School, you always want to perform for, or please, them. I don’t think you start acting for yourself until after you leave. 

I am going to miss these people. I am going to miss Central. I am probably going to miss England (as I think the boy and I will move back to the states for a while). In all though, I will be glad to have a break. From school, from people, from pressure. 

Today should be Day 25 of my Yoga with Adriene programme. I have had a few slip ups - basically I lost a day to tech - but I’ve always kept it going. One day I did two in a day because I had missed the day before. That is also what I need to do today, as yesterday I was recovering from a night of quite drunken celebration.  3 Slip Ups in 30 days? I think that’s not bad at all. You need to fail a little in order to grow. 

[illyriabound-blog]

Pet Peeves: Wasting My Time

I have discovered this year my number one Pet Peeve. There have been many candidates in the race to this prized position. I realised recently, all of the other little nagging issues could actually be explained away under the umbrella of one overbearing annoyance; People Wasting My Time.

Examples of said Annoyance:

I have no issue with waiting a few minutes for someone to come out of a shop. I do have an issue with waiting on the pavement for 10 minutes on my lunch break because people keep wanting to wait for yet another person to make their way through the endless M&S queue is not something that excites me in any pleasurable way. 

I have no issue with being called to work all day. I do have an issue with being called to work all day to sit for over three hours doing nothing, when I could be trying to better the end product by having time to go away, and rehearse the pieces that need seeing to. It’s even more frustrating when it feels as if this happens at least twice a week. 

There again I am in the world of theatre, where people’s solipsistic tendencies bleed through their paper like facade. I am not excluded from this.

Thank God I am still doing Yoga. Seriously, this 30 Day Yoga Challenge has been wonderful for me. I still am obviously a little peeved after today’s events (A total of 3 hours, 45 minutes of waiting today) but doing my Yoga practice was so helpful to just let some things, tensions, worries about the day go. I am hoping as I type this practice will also help me sleep (and judging by the current weight of my eyelids, I’m in luck). 

I do want to start doing more work outs. Exercise is a necessary element to me having a healthy Mental life, as well as Physical. Because of the afore mentioned ankle injury, I have been petrified to exercise, being in fear of re-injury. I am positive that it can handle more that I’ve been giving it, and I want to give a whole lot more. Me doing more exercise will probably help with the nasty little devils who creep into my mental muscles and make them tense and worn.   

Stated my problem. Worked through it. Came up with solutions to help contain problem. Job well done in my book.

[illyriabound-blog]

Title 1

I want to start writing again.

I feel as if this will not work as well as I want it to.

I’m going to try anyway. I’ve started a 30 days of Yoga Challenge. If any of you scroll through the yoga world of YouTube, you may have come across Yoga with Adriene. She seems like fun and easy going human being, with a good grasp on making Yoga accessible to all. I have done Yoga in the past, and even have a little yoga app that I have utilised well (It’s called Yoga Studio. Best free download from Starbucks, ever.). But after a recent foot injury that caused me to completely rest my foot for a while (which even meant no Yoga. THE HORROR.), I got out of the good gym going habit I’d been cultivating. I’ve had to wheedle myself back into this exercise habit, as I’ve been feeling low about my body (well, I’ve been feeling low about many a thing, but when I feel low in general, I usually end disliking some part of my anatomy). I wanted to star exercising again, but felt utterly disheartened by loosing my favourite exercise (Running) to my ankle injury.

I was introduced to Yoga with Adriene by my voice teacher, as she showed us on the last day of classes her daily vocal warm up to one of Adriene’s videos. I looked this person up and saw she had a 30 Day Yoga Challenge. I thought “This is a challenge I can see my self completing.” One day (July 9th, 2015 to be exact) I decided “Today’s the Day!” I usually like to start projects on a Monday. But, then what usually happens is I wait for that day, but then I’m not inspired (or some crap like that) and end up never doing it. I am now on Day 12 (or will be when I get up and do it tomorrow). I am loving it. It’s relaxing, and challenging. It’s calming, and exciting. It makes me want to do more. Not just more Yoga, but more exercise. Doing something active every day makes me want to go further. I think it was exactly what I needed to perk up, and be a human being again.

Let’s Keep This Up Self. Keep Being Human.

[the-evil-twin]

What hoard would you have?

If there’s a dragon with a kitty hoard or a donut hoard, then yeah, those are me. 

[enbabe]

Would it kill you to source the artist?

[sapphicbambi]

The Dragon hoarding cheese knows where it’s at.

[korkrunchcereal]

jessipalooza look you’re on this.

[butt-of-glory]

[temporarily-exhausted]

I have a spiritual connection with like 5 of these dragons

[shhsuthsiuhfdf-deactivated20150]

[illyriabound-blog]

First of all HOW DARE YOU Secondly WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT

[shubbabang]

I know I’m not the only one who does this but you know when you have this like boundary around you when you’re sitting at a table or a desk that only you are allowed to be in 

And then someone or something that isn’t yours

gets in that space

and you just

[illyriabound-blog]

#all the damn time