is that your judging face?

I mean, it looks a lot like your judging face.

[kishou]

PROJECT HAIL MARY (2026) dir. phil lord & christopher miller

[orcboxer]

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

[arroscnleche]

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

[tracing-rivers]

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

[clockworkspider]

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！ 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

[orcboxer]

y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me

[holyfuckthisfishcandrive]

hiii, ich bin's, ich bin dein Schutzengel hiiii 😇 ok 🙏 also. ich sechs Monaten wirst du verhungern. 🥺 und falls ich dich nicht beschütze, werde ich: #gefeuert! 🫢 und das ist Nicht Gut 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Also. 🙏 Ich hab mir ma' die Gründe fürs Verhungern angeschaut, und, stellt sich raus: Dein Tod ist vollkommen verhinderlich! 😯 Oh oh! 😆 Es gibt mehr als genug Nahrungsmittel um dich durchzufüttern, ohne das Überleben von irgendwem sonst zu beeinträchtigen, du darfst sie bloß nicht haben! 🤨 Häääääää? 🤷‍♀️ Anscheinend, wurde dein Tod von tausenden sogenannten "Aktionären" geplant. Jedenfalls. 🙏 Ich hab angefangen Leute zu töten,

[ship0ftheseus]

यह मैं हूँ! मैं तुम्हारी अभिभावक देवदूत हूँ, हाय! 😇 ओके 🙏 तो। लगभग छह महीनों में, तुम भूख से मर जाओगे। 🥺 और अगर मैंने तुम्हारी रक्षा नहीं की, तो मुझे: नौकरी से निकाल दिया जाएगा! 🫢 और यह बिल्कुल अच्छा नहीं है 🙅‍♀️ हाहाहा! तो। 🙏 मैंने भूख के कारणों की जाँच की, और पता चला: तुम्हारी मृत्यु पूरी तरह रोकी जा सकती है! 😯 अरे नहीं! 😆 तुम्हें जीवित रखने के लिए पर्याप्त से अधिक भोजन है जो किसी और के जीवन को प्रभावित नहीं करेगा, लेकिन तुम्हें वह लेने की अनुमति नहीं है! 🤨 यह क्या बात है? 🤷‍♀️ जाहिर तौर पर, तुम्हारी मृत्यु हज़ारों चीज़ों द्वारा पूर्व-नियोजित है जिन्हें "शेयरधारक" कहते हैं। तो। 🙏 मैं लोगों को मार रही हूँ l

[oghotonghoton-potiushi]

ওহে আমি তোমার অভিভাবক দেবদূত 😇 ঠিক আছে🙏 তো। প্রায় ছয় মাসের মধ্যে, তুমি অনাহারে মারা যাবে। 🥺 এবং আমি যদি তোমাকে রক্ষা না করি, আমি হব: #বরখাস্ত! 🫢 এবং এটা ভালো কিছু নয় 🙅‍♀️ হাহাহা তাই। 🙏 আমি অনাহারের কারণ অনুসন্ধান করেছি, এবং দেখা যাচ্ছে: তোমার মৃত্যু সম্পূর্ণ প্রতিরোধযোগ্য! 😯 ওহ! 😆 অন্য কারো বেঁচে থাকার সাথে হস্তক্ষেপ না করেই তোমাকে টিকিয়ে রাখার জন্য পর্যাপ্ত খাবারের চেয়েও বেশি কিছু আছে, কিন্তু তোমার এটি খাওয়ার অনুমতি নেই! 🤨 কি? 🤷‍♀️ দৃশ্যত, তোমার মৃত্যু "শেয়ারহোল্ডার" নামে হাজার হাজার জিনিস দ্বারা পূর্বপরিকল্পিত। তাই। 🙏 আমি মানুষ মারছি,

[gottagetgogottagetattahere]

안녀어어어엉, 내가 너의 수호천사야 😇 ㅇㅋ 🙏 그래서. 한 육개월 안에 네가 굶주림으로 죽을거야. 🥺 그리고 내가 널 안 지켜주면, 나는: #해고! 🫢 하고 그건 안 좋지 🙅‍♀️ 하하하하 그래서.🙏 내가 굶주림에 이유를 찾아 봤는데, 알고보니: 너 죽는건 엄청 막을수 있어! 😯 ¡어머! 😆 다른 사람의 생존을 안 위협해도 너 먹일수 있는 식량양은 차고도 넘쳐, 근데 그건 네가 가질 허락이 없어! 🤨 뭐어어어? 🤷‍♀️ 그게, 천개의 "주주" 들 이란 것들이 너의 죽음을 계획한 거 인가봐. 그래서. 🙏 내가 좀 사람들 죽이고 있는뎅,

[gayumama]

uy mars ako to!! guardian angel mo hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. after ng mga anim na buwan, mamamatay ka sa gutom. 🥺 pag hinayaan ko mangyari yun, #masisisante lola mo! 🫢 at Di yun Very Good, nay 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 nagbasabasa ko ng mga sanhi ng pagkamatay sa gutom, malaman mo ba: Hindi pala final answer ang walang magagawa kundi deds na lang! 😯 Grabe! 😆 Enough naman pala pagkain sa mundo para mabigyan lahat nang di mo ikakamatay pagkagutom, PERO hindi pala available yung solution! 🤨 Aba aba? 🤷‍♀️ Akalain mo, yung pagkamatay mo dala lang pala nung libo libong mga ano yung mga "shareholders" ba. Yun. 🙏 sinimulan ko na pagminus ng mga persons,

[symbolism145]

始めましてよろしくーあなたの守護天使だよーん 😇 えっとね〜🙏 あのさ。六ヶ月ぐらい立てばあなたは飢え死にしちゃうの 🥺 で、あなとを守らなければ、アタシは #クビになっちまうの！🫢 それはすごくNG 🙅‍♀️ エヘヘ〜 と言う事になりまして。🙏 飢餓の原因についてしらべたんだけど、実はね、あなたの死は全然防げるものだと判明したの！ 😯 あらら 😆 他の人の生存を脅かす事なく、あなたを養うには十分な食べ物があるのに、それを手に入れることは許されないらしい！🤨 なんてこった！ 🤷‍♀️ なんと、あなたの死は「株主」と言う数千のモノによって計画されているんだってー。それでね。🙏 人を殺し始めたんだけど、

[badjokesbyjeff]

New York is the exact opposite of Minnesota. New York is where the Big Apple is and Minnesota is where Minneapolis

[mckenzie-t-canis-lupus]

JEFF WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

[ethernalium]

Resident Evil 4 (2023)

[hagiomoto]

Is there anything he haven't wear yet

[balaclava-trismegistus]

a condom

[spencerthespacer-deactivated202]

[fox-in-the-wheat-deactivated202]

THIS IS THE HARDEST I HAVE LAUGHED IN SO LONG YOU HAVE CURED MY DEPRESSION

[ywg]

This is one of the greatest posts I’ve ever witnessed. The payoff was amazing.

[randomslasher]

My roommate heard it going and went “OH MY GOD is it EVER going to resolve?” then the payoff hit and she busted up laughing

[valtsv]

How do you think the guys from the terror would handle to being stuck in the pyramid from alien vs predator?

no survivors

[valtsv]

[liberalsarecool]

NAOMI KLEIN to SAM ALTMAN:

"...you ingested the entire written output of human civilization without consent, without compensation and without credit to build a system whose primary commercial application is eliminating the jobs of the people whose work you consumed.

You are not 'liberating human creativity' -- you are strip-mining it and selling it back at a markup while calling the theft 'training data'."

[trattenbach]

Happy Battle Against Richard Nixon's Immortal Soul Saturday

[pangur-and-grim]

he perplexes me

[stuffman]

People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter

[sqbr]

[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: “Aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.” The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!”]

[elvencantation]

additions from the og artist (credit)

[scientia-rex]

“Holy shit two cakes,” I mutter to myself as I do fucking anything these days, this post was a godsend

[avrilxiv-archive]

Tʜᴇ Tᴇᴍᴘʟᴇ ᴏғ Mʏᴛʜᴀʟ

[assassinregrets]

there are at least 10 more minutes for england to be humiliated once again

[assassinregrets]

alas

[assassinregrets]

there are at least 10 more minutes for england to be humiliated once again

[tamnsy]

was making sure that even tho i cant have fruits and veggies rn my bunny can and came across this wonderful graphic

[exhausted-cryptid-deactivated20]

when it takes you a while to process what someone is saying and you realize they asked you a question

[doughfox]

I cannot fucking believe I am drunk, past midnight, and tumblr is throwing fucking saturated fatty-acids at me

[musicprincess655]

Listen here friendo I didn’t sit through a year of organic chemistry for you to come into my house and call a carboxylic acid a saturated fatty acid you respect that hexadecanoic acid

[bismuthcladbattleship]

And I didnt get a degree in biochemistry to hear you say that carboxylic acids with aliphatic chains arent fatty acids. That hexadecanoic acid IS a saturated fatty acid!

[mutttooth]

[assassinregrets]

You didn't tag your latest cake reblog as "CAKEFUCKIN" and I fucking took notice.

maybe im ready to commit

[miyku]

Resident Evil 4 Remake | ▶ dev. Capcom