It's Inn the Details

Inn at Laurel Point’s Wedding Blog

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New blog location

I've moved out of these digs and into new ones, find my latest wedding blog posts here

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Kicking Off Wedding Season

The weather here in Beautiful British Columbia has been fantastic, and we at the Inn at Laurel Point, Victoria BC are prepping for another fab wedding season. We have been meeting with couples over menu tastings and going over all things wedding.

I thought I'd take this opportunity to share one of my wedding preseason rituals. Before the first couple walks down our waterfront aisle, I watch this video. It always makes me smile. The video isn't professionally shot, or choreographed - it just features regular people willing to be silly and have fun to celebrate their friends' union.

As stressful as wedding planning can be, when the big day arrives it is so important to take it all in and have fun.

Watch: JK Wedding Entrance Video

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Strut February 2nd & 3rd at Victoria's Wedding Walk

We at Inn at Laurel Point are thrilled to be one of the many venues participating in Victoria's first Wedding Walk. The Victoria Wedding Walk was designed by the Victoria Wedding Collective (VWC) to offer an annual fun, authentic showcase of the top wedding professionals, suppliers and ceremony experts along with wedding venues, décor and food ideas.

Our Wedding Experts will be in our magnificent Terrace Ballroom from 11am-5pm, Saturday February 2nd to meet you and answer all your wedding questions. Like  "What's all this noise about setting a budget" or "Who's this Pinterest guy my fiancée is spending all her time with?"

So zip up your boots and strut on down!

We have your "something blue" and you might even spot me!

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Wedding Shows, you gotta go

We're off to Wedding Fair in Vancouver BC as exhibitors and hope to see you there!

If you can get yourself to a wedding show in the early stages of planning, go and bring your mum. Not only is it great bonding time, it will be as good as renting a time machine to bring your mum to the present if not the future of wedding trends. She might be surprised to see that today's bridesmaids (for the most part) like their dresses, do not wear coordinating hats, and sleeves are optional.

(Sweet heavens that picture is something else!)

In 19___ [insert your parents’ wedding year here] couples hired bands and after a stroll through a wedding show, your mum will see that it is more common to work with a DJ now. Your mum will be brought up to speed on all things wedding in one afternoon, and you'll probably be able to avoid the "Don't you want to wear my wedding headband" conversation now that she knows what's In.

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Who Pays for What (traditionally)

It never hurts to know what the traditional take on a wedding topic is, before you blow the doors off it. Here is what "traditionally" the Bride & Groom's respective sides looked after on the wedding budget spreadsheet. Thoughts? How would you divide it up?

Bride's Side

Bride's gown & accessories

Ceremony site costs

Flowers (ceremony, reception & bridal attendants)

Groom's ring

Stationary

Music

Photography & videography

Reception venue & dinner

Rental & decor items for ceremony & reception

Wedding consultant/planner

Bridal party transportation (ceremony & reception)

Optional Items

Bride & attendants accommodations

Gift to the groom

Groom's Side

Bride's engagement ring and wedding band

Marriage officiant

Marriage license

Liquor

Flowers (bride's bouquet, corsages & boutonnieres for honoured family members)

Rehearsal dinner

Groom's attendants transportation (ceremony)

Honeymoon

Optional Items

Groom's attendants accommodations

Gift to the Bride

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Rich bride, poor bride –

Maybe you can be more than one or the other... how about setting a realistic budget and living happily ever after?

On average couples spend $27,000 on their wedding and whether that sounds reasonable or preposterous, in my experience a budget needs to be made. You can draw it up on the back of a cocktail napkin, or draft a spreadsheet – just make one.

The basics are simple; you need to know how much money you have to spend.

Are your parents & relatives contributing, or are you on your own? If you have to borrow money to pay for your wedding, don’t take on more debt than you can pay it back in a year!

Have your benefactors list their top two priorities (what is most important). This is key because often arguments appear to be about money, when they are really about priorities. If you do reach a stalemate, revisit the priority list and if the matter is not in your top 2, save your energy.

Once you know what you have to spend and what’s important, grab that cocktail napkin and list the items you’ll need for the wedding (see below) include a column for estimated cost, actual cost, deposit and a final column for notes. Always keep a running tally to be sure you are on track and factor in a 5-10% cushion for items you may had over looked.

Embrace the budget because it not only keeps your spending in check, it is a great organizational tool that will help track what still needs to be done.

One more thing, you have a lifetime together, let's not spend it repaying the wedding debt racked up!

Next Post: I'm tackling politics!

*Here is an example of what portion of a couple’s budget is used on the following:

40% Reception (site, food & drink)

8% each Wedding Rings & Photography

6% Flowers

5% each Dress & Videography

4% Reception Music

3% Groom’s Formal Wear

2% each Hair & Makeup for bride & bridal party, Invitations & Stationary, Ceremony Music, Spiritual Ceremony Site, Wedding Cake, Transportation

1% Favours

*Breakdown courtesy of The Wedding Book – The Big Book for Your Big Day, by Mindy Weiss and Lisabeth Levine

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Religion, Politics, Money and Weddings?

There are a few topics that shouldn't be discussed in polite conversation - religion, politics and money to name a few, and lucky for engaged couples these doozies get to be tackled all at once during wedding planning.

Cautious posturing with family & friends will exercise your political skills

Subjects of religion may be tabled when selecting a ceremony site or composing your vows

Though all matters can be thorny, the subject of money can be a recurring character throughout the planning and I think we should grapple with it first.

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Let them eat candy corn!

For two wedding seasons now, we have served breakfast for dinner. Why you might ask? It turns out that breakfast is the couple's favorite meal, and really who doesn't love an amazing benny?!

So it stands to reason that if couples incorporate special foods into their weddings, they would also consider incorporating their most hallowed holidays... like Halloween?!

Maybe you don't want to serve your guests pancakes at 7pm, but if Halloween is your favorite holiday then bring on the fun size candy bars!

This is the part of the blog where I'd tell you about an amazing Halloween inspired wedding that took place here at the Inn at Laurel Point and share fantastic photos, well guess what - we need to have a Halloween wedding!

Though it would take more than my usual Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo to pull off a Halloween wedding for 2012, Off Beat Bride's amazing Monday Montage blog post will have to tie us over until October 31, 2013. So grab the Halloween candy you bought to "give to the kids" that supposedly knock on your 15th floor, doorman secured condo and enjoy! (oops that might just be me)

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This Sunday October 21st, Inn at Laurel Point’s Wedding Experts will be making an appearance at the Victoria Wedding Show. Being the Rock Stars that they are, the ladies will be available to sign autographs, but more importantly they hope to speak to you about your wedding plans.

Stop by our amazing booth, enjoy a tasty treat prepared by Pastry Chef April Iverson (she made desserts for Wills & Kate you know!), and gab with our blinged out Wedding Experts – you’ll be dazzled by their sparkly personality!

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Congratulations on your engagement! When's the wedding?!

I've noticed that no sooner have couples announced their exciting engagement news, they are immediately faced with the question "Have you set a date?"

I'm not sure if it is thanks to Hollywood, the press or popular belief, but we at Inn at Laurel Point often meet newly engaged couples who are under the impression that they are already behind in the planning.

I am here to impart my wisdom on the subject, and tell you brides to keep flaunting your newest piece of jewellery, share your happy news, and fret not.

People ask about your wedding date because they want to appear interested & excited for you both (though they may be mentally searching through their wardrobe selecting their fabulous outfit – maybe that’s just me).

Unless you are set on a specific date that cannot be changed, breathe easy. You have plenty of time to plan your wedding big or small.

Your date sets the foundation for the rest of your wedding planning and you may need to consider the availability of your officiant, venue & photographer during the selection process. Also, your budget will be affected by the date but more on dollars and sense later…

In short, don't let the question of when turn your excitement into panic. We have planned weddings with a guest list of 150 in two months and in less than a week, helped a couple and 20 of their closest friends celebrate in style.

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Commitment... to a theme

To Commit: to pledge (oneself) to a position on an issue or question; express (one's intention, feeling, etc …)

Committing to a theme for your wedding is to express your vision through the venue, your décor and it is pledged in the details.

I was able to step away from the Inn at Laurel Point in late August to attend a wedding and was prompted to write. The wedding theme started with a vision of mason jars, candles & lace and turned into a beautiful vintage inspired wedding.

Now when it comes to décor and themes, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, as it quickly becomes a bad thing. Too much “theme-ing” and you smother your vision and your guests. It is easy to become overwhelmed by magazines, websites, fantastic blogs (present company included), Facebook & Pinterest.

Under commit and the theme ends up leaving more questions than answers, was that chair supposed to be there? is the cake meant to look homemade? - There should never be questions.

The trick (and what impresses a Miss who has planned a wedding or two) is finding a balance. This wedding for example, committed from the ceremony site to the reception.

The couple used furniture & window frames creatively. They dined off of mis-matched china and yes the mason jars, candles & lace made the cut.

    It was clear to their guests that the vintage theme was the expression of the couple's original vision and it was perfect.

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I Do For Two

Well who says couples don't elope, we created our Elopement Package a month ago and we have had two elopements already!

      I was pleased to work with a couple who wanted to get away and do something special for themselves and then celebrate with the whole family later.  They chose a quiet corner of our Japanese Garden as their spot to be married.  And I was privilaged to be be a witness for another couple who despite having been together 20 years felt like the time was right.  They were married in their suite overlooking the harbour.

Both couples felt welcomed by our colleagues at Inn at Laurel Point, both ceremonies were officiated with grace and true to my inner romantic I admit to a happy tear (or two) and quiet sniffle for both couples.

It isn't always about fitting yourself into a white dress and smiling all night for your crazy friends and relatives. It is about what is right for you and what your heart tells you to do.  Inn at Laurel Point has something for all hearts.

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Here's $50...Buy A Ladder

Something my dear dad would joke about constantly with my sister and I.  He was fond of saying "who needs a big wedding, all you need is $50 and a ladder."  Insert hearty laughter.   Apparently in the good old days the $50 was to cover travel expenses and a marriage license.  The ladder was what the groom needed to retrieve his bride from her bedroom window while her parents slept.

                                     While my job at Inn at Laurel Point is to sell weddings I certainly do not think of eloping as a bad thing.  In fact, I find the idea of running off and eloping just as romantic and kind of old fashioned.  In a good way of course, not to mention cheap.

So if a big wedding is not one of your childhood dreams and you and your fiancee decide that eloping is the right option for you, consider these tips to avoid some of the guilt - think of it as having your wedding cake and eating it too.

Have a ceremony for the two of you, but throw a reception for all your friends and family.

Hire a photographer to come with you then send out great pictures of the I Do's with a cheeky wedding announcement.

Elope now but make plans for a blowout ten year anniversary party.  You might even include a note with your wedding announcement saying something like "our wedding day was just the two of us, but we hope you'll come celebrate when it make to ten years."

         Inn at Laurel Point doesn't supply the ladder but we have created an Elopement Package  lovingly called "I Do For Two."   The package includes two nights in a suite with a patio overlooking the beautiful outer harbour, services of a wedding commissioner, flowers, a signature wedding cake created by our Pastry Chef, and bubbles to toast.  Not to mention a roomy soaker tub, rose petal turn down, personalized bathrobes, breakfast in bed and a late check out. 

As for the $50 and a ladder, regardless if you have a lavish wedding (call me) or runaway together,  $50 and a ladder makes for a great gift and a wonderful story.

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Hey folks, a quick note to let you know that many of you have requested i add my blog on to Facebook as well.  So you spoke and I listened, hence the odd link etc below. 

Not to worry I will still always blog from here but now you also find me there  :)

  Follow this blog

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The F Word

I don’t have any principled objections to swearing, in fact I like to swear, a lot.  Did you know that the more you swear in everyday life, the less emotionally charged the words become and the less effective the words are?  

The ”F word” I wanted to share with you is actually – fiancée.  It seems that my engaged girlfriends have a hard time saying the word.  It seems my engaged guy-friends also struggle with it.   Many say that they simply use the term “partner.”   Partner sounds practical and relevant and I like it.

                               Why is it that when two people get engaged, they all of a sudden call each other a fancy French name? We date and are called boyfriend and girlfriend, we marry and are referred to as husband and wife.  When you get engaged you are stuck in the middle (who knows for how long!) and there is only one word for both people which apparently has no French translation - fiancée. 

                Hating the word is not to be confused with hating being engaged - that part is fun.  Some other words I've heard when meeting couples to plan their wedding at Inn at Laurel Point include "the man, my boy, my partner or just his/her name." 

What makes me happy, months later when all the planning translates into a beautiful day and the commitment to each other has been made, is to hear the words "my lover, or my bestfriend."  Words that come from the heart.

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Tradition and Superstitions #6 - Carry Me Away

      As it turns out, weddings in the days of yore sometimes followed kidnappings.  This explains not only the role of the best man but also why the bride and groom customarily leave the wedding celebration before everyone else.  It's symbolic of the groom stealing away with his bride, taking her from her family and into a new life with him. 

In medievel Europe, carrying a bride into her new home prevented her from seeming too enthusiastic about losing her virginity.  By picking her up and taking her into their home, the groom provided an alibi for his wife's chasity.

The threshold of the home was thought to be rife with unattached spirits.  A bride was considered particularly vulnerable to spirits especially through the soles of her feet.  By carrying her the groom was covering all his bases.

Much, if not all, of the original meaning behind a groom carrying his bride across the threshold has been lost in modern weddings.  The practice is more done with humour or as a photo op as today's couples are not entirely sure why to do it.  But, it's better safe than sorry right?

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Traditions and Superstitions #5 - Wedding Crashers

In times of old, brides were often not courted into marriage but instead they were captured during neighboring wars.  In these times, the duties of what we have come to know as the best man and the groomsmen were to protect the groom from the fury of those he had previously captured his future bride from.  They were ready to give up their lives to ensure the safety of the groom.

           The custom of the bride standing to the left of the groom during the wedding arose from a need rather than etiquette.  During the ceremony the groom needed to have his right arm free to defend against any intruders who may have attempted to reclaim his future bride before the conclusion of the ceremony.

                                      In ancient times the bridesmaids had a more ominous duty.  They were dressed in identical clothing. This was done in the hope of confusing the evil spiritis that may be decending on the bride.  The bridesmaids were ready to absorb any evil spirits that may have been ready to attack the bride.