Ok so i've decided put all of my A03 works in one post, for ease of access or if anyone is interested (yes this is a blatant plug)
The format will be:
Name / Link
Word count/content warnings
Tags/ships
Description
Any thoughts or comments from me
Completed works (as of DEC 2021):
Call The Doctor (I May Need Help)
Part 1 of the Joshua Fucking Minyard series
Words: 23372 Chapters: 8/8
#Andrew Minyard/ Neil Josten #Kid fic #Aaron Minyard / Katelyn #Angst #Happy ending #Explict discription of abuse #Mental Health #found family
Aaron's been a doctor for over 5 years now, and every once in a while he gets a patient that reminds him of his past.
Aaron gets a new patient, and it hits a little too close to home
cue the Minyard family
A/N Probably my proudest work but also could do with some major editing
UPDATE: There are is now a Russian translation available (wtf!?!? i'm so honoured)
Table Talk
Part 2 of the Joshua Fucking Minyard series
Words: 2693 Chapters: 1/1
#Family dynamics #Found Family #Kid Fic #Homophobic and ignorant comments #fluffy
Andrew gives some surprisingly helpful advice
OR
Andrew parents hard
A/N short and sweet, honestly just hadn't moved on from Call the doctor (I may need help) so I wrote this
First Impressions
Part 3 of the Joshua fucking Minyard series
Words: 11346 Chapters: 3/3
#references to mental health issues #trans character #polyamorous relationships #shovel talk #sexual references #kidfic #found family #fluffy
Andrew and Neil have found themselves with three kids, one adopted and two honourary.
Nevertheless, when it's time to meet their children's significant others... well no one would like to be in that position
A/N I'm just milking it at this point, and desperately needed to stop procrastinating work and move on - I still Iike it tho
Bees Bagels
Bagel Cafe Meet Cute
Words: 5315 Chapters: 1/1
#Andrew/Neil #cafe meet #meet cute #Universeity / college au #genuinely very discriptive about bagels #oneshot #there is actually plot #shockingly
Andrew would arrive with a huff smelling of stale coffees and burnt bagels. He’d throw his bag on the ground in the middle of the walkway and in the way of everyone, he’d unwrap his bagel loudly, wrapper crinkling and crumbs dropping, and he’d smudge his chocolatey fingers all over everything he touched, leaving a trail all over Neil’s stuff, that leads right to the boy that seemed to make everything feel just a little bit better.
----
Neil's local bagel cafe with fresh hot bagels piled high on delicious overflowing fillings captures Neil's heart and stomach quickly. The Blond man behind the counter, who always knows his order, and helps Neil in a way no one else has before, captures his heart just as quickly.
A/N: honestly love this sweet summer child of a fic, short and sweet, but will also make you hungry ~I got so hungry writing this~ . Good bedtime story read, if i do so say myself
What it's like (dating Andrew)
Words: 2633 Chapters: 1/1
#Andrew / Neil #neil vs reporter #established relationships #dialogue heavy #fluffy #very very very light angst #slightly ooc #swearing
Neil is happy, he won his game, and he gets to go home to his boyfriend.
First, he's got to speak to a reporter.
In which Neil gets sick of the questions, goes off at a reporter and defends Andrew.
Andrew isn't impressed (or so he says).
A/N this was the first AFTG fic I wrote, and honestly don't expect much from it, it's short but sweet
It's a farty party
Words: 2159 Chapters: 1/1
#Andrew / Neil #fluff and humour #crack fic #slice of life #fart jokes #poo jokes #oneshot #bad jokes
Andrew refuses to accept he's lactose intolerant, but Neil's had enough of the farts
~ truly one of the most stupid fics I've ever written, but hopefully it makes you laugh.~
A/N this is a very stupid lighthearted and kinda gross fic, if you don't like fart or poo jokes this is truly not for you
Works in Progress (WIP) - as of AUG 2023
Interlaced
Words: 26K Chapters: 7/?
#Andrew / Neil #highschool au #mental health issues #explicit recreational use of drugs #andrew and Aaron adopted by Bee #Neil adopted by stuart #explicit sexual content #established relationship #twinyard dynamics #codependecy #more tags will be added
What happens when you only have one best friend and start dating him? your therapist gets concerned, and you have to make new friends.
Andrew and Neil are told to make widen their social circle (that consists of two, maybe three if you count Aaron), and as far as Andrew and Neil are concerned, they are not a fan of this idea, and would really rather not.
The Palmetto high school Exy team, however, are determined to prove otherwise (and maybe find some more team members along the way - but that’s not the point Kevin)
A/N my current WIP, I've been terrible with updating, but I SWEAR I will finish the story. Otherwise Its a high school au where they are already dating from the beginning, it has some pretty heavy content, but nothing worse than cannon.
I'm gonna cry. My roommate with honours in linguistics, genuinely so smart. Best friend of thirteen years. Explained exactly how I do not understand the social structures and implications in conversations.
my partner and i have become fixated on this stupid comment left by a conspiracy theorist on instagram and we can't stop saying it and i just know i'm gonna slip up and say it to a normal person
my "blood arouses me a normal and not at all perverted amount" t-shirt is raising a lot of questions at the blood donor center that are already answered by the t-shirt
Can we talk about how the idea that STEM and the humanities are mortal enemies with no overlap is actually incredibly harmful and is not only preventing people from pursuing their passions but also part of the reason why the humanities aren’t given their proper respect? No, artists are not all snobby pretentious assholes who think they’re more cultured than everyone else and no scientists are not all emotionless robots who think they’re smarter than everyone else and it’s possible to be an artist and a scientist at the same time. By acting like you have to choose between STEM and humanities we are eliminating thousands of potential careers and causing unnecessary divisions in a time where nothing is more crucial than unity. I’m so tired of people acting like STEM majors are incapable of understanding art and humanities majors are incapable of understanding math when the two fields are crucial to one another. Who would design our architecture if it weren’t for artful engineers? Who would discover the rules of composition? At the end of the day we are all just people trying to learn and make a living, and all of these careers are important to humanity. People can’t say that STEM is more important than humanities if there’s no such thing as STEM vs humanities.
I majored in psychology and sociology in uni, and I imagine most people think that they would be subjects that are very similar.
Sociology is the study of people, culture, and society and the many ways they all influence each other. Whereas psychology is more individually focussed, and most theory is based in the western medical system.
Because of the inherent differences between each fields origin and I guess use in modern academia, they are not in anyway the same subject. One is stem and one is humanities (no im not interested in any discourse between 'hard' and 'soft' sciences, I'm aware many don't think psychology is a stem subject).
Because I was studying both subjects at the same time and everyone seemed to think that they would pretty much be exactly the same, I became more and more aware of how distinctly different the foundational theories and processes of thinking are between the two subjects.
As I became aware of this, I tried to apply the respective 'opposite' approach to discussions in class (using theory I had learnt in sociology in psychology classes and vice versa). And truly I got so much more out of both subjects for it.
They both developed into much more well rounded subjects for me, in isolating each subject in its field of stem or humanities, you're loosing so many learning opportunities.
There are so many shared aspects between stem and humanities, and so many that are not shared at all. The things that weren't shared honestly taught me so much as well, because then you think, well what subject DOES share this piece of theory. And suddenly you're discussing the sociology of urban design in your psychology tutorial about phobias.
Nothing ever functions in isolation, ask a physicist about it, so why would these subjects that we lichrully MADE UP be any different
Imagine the first night that Andrew shifted closer to Neil in bed. Imagine how Neil might’ve instinctively held his breath, worried about making the wrong move, and how Andrew might’ve pinched his side in warning. “Don’t make it weird,” he’d say right before carefully pressing his body flush against Neil’s side. He would keep a hand pressed between their bodies out of habit but he would feel so, so warm and comforting pressed against Neil that Neil wouldn’t be able to help but sigh softly into the darkness. He’d nod and close his eyes and sleep would take him faster that night than ever before despite the heavy pounding of his heart. No nightmares would come for either of them and yes it would take Andrew a considerably longer amount of time to drift off but when he finally did, something about it would feel so ill-advised but also so quietly lovely.
I’ll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words “crucifix nail nipples” into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way.
I require context. Because this is a very interesting start of a story, and now I need the rest of it. Could I get a link, or a summary, or something? Pretty please?
All right buckle the fuck up kids, it’s the year 2012 and I’ve just been handed what should be an easy editing gig by my senior editor. It’s a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight movies is about to come out, and everything is vampires. Everything. I haven’t edited a single thing in months which isn’t about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So I open the file and notice there’s a typo in the title, which really should have been my first inkling that something horrendous was about to go down, but you see I’m not quite dead inside yet so I carry on, bushy tailed and bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It’ll be dead by page 24, but I don’t know that yet. I’m just editing one more vampire boner fest.
The MC is a girl who we’ll call Sue. Sue is a Good Girl™, Sue is Not Like Other Girls™, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad Boy™ for a boyfriend. We’ll call him Dickhead.
Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it’s okay. Except it’s not okay because Sue is a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he’s fine with except he’s got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words “hey stud” and he follows, dick out before she’s even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she’s a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he’ll feel bad about in the morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he’s a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it’s about to get weirder.
Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True Love™ who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left you! He’s been “instinctively protecting her from rapists” by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because that’s not fucking terrifying at all.
Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she’d let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoided! Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can’t decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don’t mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone, not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on her again and know she is Pure.
If you’ve only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve.
So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: “her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn’t stop”
This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be “god fucking dammit” as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that I inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years.
When the magical burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with “a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower” (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there’s more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I’ll be honest, I started drinking heavily at this point and it’s all a bit of a blur.
A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed “THAT’S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART” and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn’t take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????!!!!!!????!!!!!! and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement.
And that’s the story of how an author sent me death threats for over a month because I stopped her shitty vampire porn from ever seeing the light of day. You’re all fucking WELCOME.
